Gazing
by Myka
Chapter 15 – 'Possessive'
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
beta: Amber

Remus was very aware that Sirius was kissing him. Their lips pressing hard together, mouths opening slightly. Somewhere in his mind he tried to think, but every thought fluttered away before becoming coherent. There was only Sirius, Sirius's lips, Sirius's hands on his face.

A sudden sharp pain on the center of Remus's chest forced him to break the kiss and push Sirius away. Sirius's face fell instantly while Remus's eyes widened with fear. "I must go!" he said, and without wasting another moment ran towards the Whomping Willow and disappeared under its roots.

Remus ran as fast as his legs could carry him, the pain in his chest becoming sharper with each passing second. He clutched at his chest where it hurt the most, his feet almost stumbling as he tried to run faster. Somehow he made it to the Shack, but it still wasn't over. He needed to get to the bedroom and lock himself in. He couldn't transform here, it was too dangerous. Remus forced his body up the stairs, his goal in sight when he felt another sharp pain hit him that knocked him to his knees. He felt his body trembled, going through the first phase of the change.

For that moment it was as though Remus were two beings, the wolf on the verge of rising to the surface while Remus was still human. And for that breathless second it was as if the wolf were a separate consciousness inside Remus. It knew what Remus knew. Knew that if it transformed outside that room it would be free. That there was a tunnel under the house. A tunnel that led to freedom; and that at the end of that tunnel was a human he could eat.

"NO!" Remus yelled the word inside his head. "NO," he yelled at the wolf inside him. "Sirius is mine! I won't let you have him!" With the last of his strength and mind, Remus forced his legs to stand and run the last steps towards the bedroom. He locked the door behind him with a loud click, immediately falling to his knees afterwards as he screamed. His body shaking, transforming. But even if his body screamed in pain, Remus smiled to himself with the last of his human consciousness. Sirius was safe. Sirius had kissed him. The wolf growled in his mind, angry. Remus growled back. "I won't ever let you hurt him."

Remus woke at the infirmary, and that in itself was a bad sign. He tried to move and couldn't; that was a worse sign. Remus stared at the ceiling for a bit, taking a deep breath, trying not to panic. "Hello?" he called, "is someone there?"

"I'm here, Remus," Madam Pomfrey said quickly.

"I can't move," Remus said.

"It's a spell. It's better if you don't move for now, you had a bad night."

Remus frowned. He had suspected something like this might happen after his 'fight' with the wolf. "When will I be able to move?" he asked.

"I just need you to keep still for another hour or two."

"All right," he answered softly, and went back to staring at the ceiling. It was horrible, not being abel to move. Remus wished he would fall back to sleep, but his mind kept wandering and wouldn't let him. All he could think of was that kiss. He had been surprised, but at the same time he hadn't disliked it. It had actually been nice until he felt the wolf snap its eyes open and growl somewhere inside him.

What was he going to do? He couldn't pretend it hadn't happened. God! What if Sirius pretended it never happened? He wouldn't do that, right? The dark-haired boy had initiated it after all. He had to keep Sirius away from him so close to the full moon, too. How was he going to make that clear? What day was today? Friday? Wasn't there a test today? What if Sirius doesn't follow his advice and follows him into the willow one night? And what the hell was he going to tell his parents?

Enough.

Remus needed to stop thinking. He couldn't handle this right now. It was too many things. Too many thoughts. Calling Pomfrey over, he asked her to kindly give him something to make him fall asleep until it was time for him to leave.

"Hey," Sirius said with a half grin, when Remus woke up two hours later in an empty infirmary. "Bad night?"

Remus frowned. Sirius was completely oblivious of the danger he'd been last night, how closed he'd come to being on a werewolf's menu. Remus sat up, his body finally able to move. He glared at Sirius, who in turn tilted his head to the side in confusion.

Something snapped in Remus's head. "Idiot!" he said as he hit Sirius on the shoulder with his fist. "IdiotIdiotIdiot! You stupid enormous idiot!" Sirius blinked in confusion, his face suddenly worried as he grabbed Remus's shoulders, not even trying to avoid the punches.

"What's wrong, Remus?" he asked with concern, leaning closer. "Is it the kiss?" he added, suddenly going pale. "I'm sorry I kissed you. I won't do it again if you didn't like it."

Remus froze for a moment. "The kiss? No! I liked that," he said as he moved his head and clutched at Sirius's now bruised shoulders. "You - the full moon – are you insane?" he rambled, making less sense with each word. "It – I – knew you were out there. It wanted to eat you! What if it – I – hadn't made it to the room? What if I had gotten out of the Shack? I could've killed you!" Remus took a deep breath. "Next time you want to kiss me, do it when I might not kill you two minutes later!" he yelled, meeting Sirius's eyes, which blinked in return, bemused. "And why are you smiling?" Remus added. "I'm yelling at you."

"You said you liked it," Sirius said, his smile widening, and before Remus could start yelling again, Sirius leaned in, grabbed his face, and kissed him for a second time.

Remus hummphed against Sirius's lips and fought halfheartedly to push him away. But Sirius was nothing if not persistent, and Remus soon gave in, opening his mouth willingly, letting Sirius's lips brush his over and over.

"Stop kissing me," Remus said in a muffled voice between kisses. "I'm angry at you." Another kiss. "For being an idiot."

"This is fun." Sirius grinned after he'd kissed Remus into silence.

"Cheater," Remus murmured. He knew he was in a losing battle. As he raised his eyes to meet Sirius's, he couldn't resist the urge to wrap his arms around Sirius's neck and hold as close as he could. It was so confusing. Yesterday everything was normal, or as normal as it was going to get for him, and now he wanted nothing more than to touch this boy and be touched by him. "Just promise to stay away from me during the full moon."

For a second Remus was convinced that Sirius was going to shrug off his request, until those grey eyes met his and something changed in them. Suddenly, Sirius looked very solemn, straightforward. "I promise."

Remus knew he was telling the truth.

A/N: One more part should wrap this up.