Chapter Fourteen: Aliens and Toilets

The vibrating sound grew in volume, until it was suddenly broken by a loud melody. The noise woke a sleeping Kaye, forcing her to fumble around on her nightstand. She snapped open the phone, and immediately heard a scream.

“KAYE!”

“Who is this? Celia?”

“My father found Rúmil!”

The phone went dead, and Kaye sat straight up in bed, alarmed. She rolled from underneath the covers and grabbed her hoodie and a pair of clogs. She hurtled silently down the stairs, trying not to make any noise. She barely missed stepping on her dog Eris. Quietly she snuck into the garage and started the car, speeding down the road once she was away from her house. As she pulled in front of a one story ranch house, she leapt from the car. Raised voices echoed from behind the building, and she walked through the back gate, stopping as she saw the scene.

Mr. Moore was holding a baseball bat and yelling at the top of his lungs, circling a large Oak tree. His wife was fumbling with the phone in her hands, and Celia was chasing her father around, crying. At the very top of the Oak tree sat Rúmil, staring down at the group fearfully. Kaye’s heart plummeted into her stomach like a stone. How was she going to get him out of this? Gathering her courage, she stepped forward and raised a hand, saying a faint hello. The family froze and looked at her, but Celia’s father did not take his gaze off the Elf.

“K—Kaye dear, what’re you doing here?” asked Mrs. Moore.

“Celia called me,” she said, gulping.

“Why?”

The air was pregnant with silence for several moments, as Kaye stared at her friend for help. Celia shook her head, her eyes full of worry.

“Erm…cause that’s my cousin.”

Mr. Moore turned his head, slightly lowering the bat. “Your cousin? What was he doing in my daughter’s room?” he asked harshly.

“You’d have to ask her, but I assure you he intends no harm. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

Just me.

“Well he’s trespassing. Take him away,” said Mr. Moore, putting the bat on the ground. “Your mother will get an earful from me if she doesn’t deal with him.”

Kaye motioned upward to the Elf, causing him to slowly clamber down the Oak. At the bottom, he warily dashed around the Moores, over to her side.

“Don’t worry,” said Kaye. “I’ll tell my mom. She’ll whoop him good.”

“How old are you boy?” asked Celia’s father.

The Elf glanced nervously at Kaye, but remembered his subterfuge training. “Nineteen, milor—er—sir.”

“Good, cause you’d have a bullet in your hind end if you were older,” said Mr. Moore, glaring at the Elf.

Rúmil put a hand on his hip then backed away slowly, pulling on Kaye’s sleeve. She sighed and turned around, waving goodbye to Celia. Both were silent in the car, not talking or looking at each other. Abruptly, Kaye stopped the car, pulling into an empty nearby lot.

She turned in her seat and looked darkly at the Elf. “Rúmil, what were you up to? What did I tell you about being careful? How can I get it through your thick skull that you cannot be cavorting about as you like? Society has standards; you have to fit in, whether or not you belong! What happened tonight?”

The Elf played with the door lever, as if preparing to open it for an escape. The door was automatically locked by the driver’s side. He grimaced and faced her.

“Celia and I were talking—“

“Just talking?”

Rúmil turned red for a moment, sputtering out random words for a moment. “Yes uhm of course. Lord Moore must have heard us, for he came barging in, armed with that large stick.”

“Baseball bat.”

“Baseball bat. I hopped out of the window and climbed into the tree where he could not reach me. While he sought to kill me, Celia called you.”

“That’s it?”

“Aye.”

“Because of your actions, I have to take you back,” she said, raising a finger threateningly. “Remember that. Be on your best behavior, or we are through!”

She turned the keys in the ignition and started the car, pulling out of the lot. When they were one hundred feet away from the house, Kaye hit the breaks, frowning. Several windows on the lower and upper floors were lit up, including her mother’s room.

“Oh shit. Mom’s up.” She unlocked the car door and unbuckled Rúmil’s seat belt. “Get out now. Go through the back window. Quietly as possible.”

The Elf nodded and leapt from the car like a cat, merging with the shadows on the street. Kaye pulled the car into the garage, her stomach tingling nervously as she left the car. The door to the house creaked as she swung it open, echoing throughout the still house.

“Kaye?” a voice called from the living room.

She peered around the corner of the hallway, and saw her mother sitting in the recliner by the television.

Don’t panic…don’t panic.

“Hi mom.”

“Can you tell me why you were outside on a school night at 1 am?”

“I was over at Celia’s. She uhm needed me to get something.” Kaye’s knees turned into jelly, and she sat on the couch, as if drawn there by a magnet.

“I received an interesting call five minutes ago, from her mother. She said you picked up a British boy you claimed was your cousin. Now tell me Kaye, where is he?”

Almost inaudible, came a small yawn from the top of the stairs. She glanced upward towards the landing, and saw her sister watching them, along with Rúmil. Dropping her shoulders, Kaye motioned up to them.

“Guys, come down.”

The pair slid mopingly down the stairs, and came to a stop in the center of the room. Holly held Rúmil’s hand protectively as her mother stood and cautiously approached. She turned to Kaye.

“Why are we harbouring an illegal alien?”

“He’s not—“

“—an alien,” finished Rúmil indignantly. “I am an Elf!”

Kaye’s mother raised an eyebrow. “Okay. Why are we harboring an escaped mental patient?”

“He’s not that either mom. He’s really an Elf, named Rúmil. His ‘human name’ is Ransford Thorpe. He came wandering into the yard about seven months ago, having fallen in a time warp or something to our world. He’s from Middle-earth!”

“Valinor,” interrupted Rúmil.

“Kaye, you do know how ridiculous this sounds,” her mother said flatly. “I’m not going to believe some half-assed story that you made up on the spot.”

“I’m serious mom. Holly knows about it too.” Her sister growled at her, but she looked steadily at her mother.

Holly reached up and revealed Rúmil’s ears, hidden beneath a baseball cap. She yanked on them hard.

“OW!”

Mrs. Thorn studied the three for a minute, and sat down wobbily. “I know when you’re telling the truth. It’s either that, or my precious daughters have both lost their minds.”

Rúmil bowed lowed to her. “You have very fine children, milady. You must be proud.”

“I am not a child,” hissed Kaye.

Her mother put a hand on her forehead, and smiled at the Elf. “So where have you been hiding all this time?”

“In my closet. Then in the woods, and Celia’s closet.”

“Kaye,” her mother said, rolling her eyes. “I wouldn’t let anyone sleep in just a closet, even Mrs. Grimp. He’s going to take the extra bedroom for now.”

Rúmil’s eyes lit up and he nearly jumped off the ground. “Thank you milady Thorn.”

“Go to bed, all of you. We’ll see what we’re going to do about this Elf in the morning.”

.-.-.-.

The clinking of silverware emanated from the kitchen as Kaye turned the corner. To her surprise, she found her mother standing over the stove, making pancakes.

“Mom, why aren’t you at work yet?” she asked groggily.

“I took the day off, and you are too. We have some things to figure out little lady.”

“Like what?”

“About that Elf of yours. This is a very complicated matter, Kaye,” her mother said, flipping a pancake. She looked at her daughter and smiled.

Suddenly, Holly and Rumil popped their heads around the corner, both sniffing the air.

“Whoa, mom and pancakes for breakfast,” said Holly, grinning.

“Yes. Now grab some plates.”

They all settled at the table with their food, eating eagerly. Rumil smirked at their mother, lifting his fork in the air.

“Milady Thorn, this is much better than Kaye’s daily preparations.”

Kaye swiftly kicked him under the table, directly in the knee. The Elf glared at her evilly, and stole the bagel off her plate.

“Hey!”

“I can see he learned quickly from you,” said her mom, laughing. “He’ll need that.”

“For what?” mumbled Holly.

Their mother looked fixedly at the Elf. “If I had discovered you within the week you came here, I would’ve handed you over to the authorities. But they are fond of you and I have judged you harmless, since they know your character well. It is not a good sign that I uncovered the truth about you three. You must learn to lie low, and not attract attention to yourselves.”

“I shall try my best milady,” said Rumil, lowering his head.

“Call me mom.”

.-.-.-.

“Are you sure this was the best idea?” asked Kaye.

“He seemed to have fun in the craft store,” said her mother, chuckling.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

They knocked on the bedroom door, and it creaked open slowly. Rumil poked his head out and smiled.

“Come in.”

They walked into the room, and immediately stopped in their tracks, flabbergasted. A panoply of colors filled the walls, which danced in the daylight streaming through the windows. Depictions of purple snow topped mountains, emerald green landscapes, white cities and silvery waterscapes were delicately painted on two sides of the room, the other was filled with entangled scenes of battles, lovers lost in the forests, and monumental moments in Elven history.

“Holy crap. How did you do this in a week?” said Kaye, staring dumbfounded.

“With lots of paint,” he said, smirking.

“Let me guess, you used up the rest of your money.”

He nodded slowly and shrugged. “It was a good investment.”

“Mom,” said Kaye mischievously. “Are you going to make Rumil pay rent?”

Her mother winked. “No, but he will have to take up his portion of the chores, like keeping up his room, doing dishes, cleaning the bathroom.”

The Elf paled, the grin slipping from his face. “Please, do not make me clean the toilet. I have lost two hairbrushes to that monster.”

Kaye raised an eyebrow. “Have you been using the toilet at all?”

“No.”

“Then where have you been going?”

“In the yard, along with Eris and Lucky,” he said blankly.

There was a faint thump, as Kaye’s mother dropped to the floor beside her.

“Mom?”

.-.-.-.

Mrs. Thorn paced back and forth across the office floor, throwing her hands in the air.

“Kaye! How is he not toilet trained ?” shouted her mother. “He is a grown man- Elf- whatever.”

“I didn’t know,” she said weakly. “He must’ve reverted after he lived in the woods.”

“Well he better be trained by the end of the week, or he is out of this house. Imagine what the neighbors must think!”

Her mother shook her head and ushered Kaye out of the office, slamming the door behind her.