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Title: Parallel Lines, Part 5: Sheet Bend 2/2

Author:

kneipho

Beta: MrNiceGuy

Rating: M

Fandom: VOY, AU (Non-Canonical)

Character/Pairing Codes: J/m, f/m/m/f references to J/C, C/7, P/T

Spoiler Alert: Misc. episodes throughout both Voyager('s) and Enterprise's runs, TNG's Violations and Star Trek: Nemesis

Synopsis for Part 5: J and C dine on home-cooked grub ... and disagree.

Trebus Reconstruction Colony

August 28th, 2378

2300 hours

Outside he walked, unconcerned that she would follow. Serving together for so long had taught them both to give each other a wide berth when emotions ran too high. They'd had their share of confrontations over the years, but physical violence had never been a common element in his relationship with Kathryn —or with most of the women he had known throughout his lifetime. Recent history excluded... And if one discounted a number of his associations formulated during his stint in the Maquis. Then again, he would be the first to admit he no longer recognized who he was. It was a byproduct of his stay in New Zealand, this new confusion.

New Zealand.Rehabilitation by any other name still smells like Perdition.

Chakotay ceased walking long enough to pick a stick up of the road and draw a circle with it around a group of pebbles in the dirt, recalling the triumphant very public fanfare surrounding Voyager's return.

He had been unprepared for the intensity of media coverage, for the onslaught of attention that subsequently focused on his inevitable incarceration. The end result having had a profound effect not only on his state of mind, but also on his placement within the invisible gates of the colony. He entered New Zealand a high profile celebrity; a well-known insurrectionist who had dropped his principles to redress in the colors of Starfleet. Housed within a large population, with many serving time for war-related offenses, made him a walking target. The Island, no matter how well-meaning or progressive, or thoroughly equipped with the best in modern surveillance technology, had been unable to prevent his harassment. His isolation, a reasonable action implemented within weeks of his arrival by authorities to ensure his protection.

Chakotay had preferred the beatings. Though they had done much to break his spirit, he accepted what they represented. Status for the unmentionable, power for the impotent, for the acrimonious few railing against survival within a caged environment, living life determined by choices made —good or bad. Beings defined by consequences, without freedom. Some with nothing left to lose, and others with everything to prove.

Like him.

Captain Janeway's first official orders from Starfleet when arriving in the Alpha Quadrant, were, 1.), to confine 'Ms. Hansen' to the Cargo Bay and, 2.), inform the ex-drone that her right to Federation citizenship had fallen forfeit as a child —when her parents whisked her away and quit Federation Space to study the Borg. It was no secret that Seven of Nine had once held a position of importance in the Queen's Collective. If Starfleet had elected to detain her indefinitely or worse, there would have been nothing anyone could have done to prevent it.

Janeway took the news in stride, conferencing with her First Officer in private prior to joining him the Cargo Bay. There, she performed a hasty wedding and Seven's detainment officially began. Though technically considered an outlaw at the time, Chakotay had been born into a Nation which had faltered under the shortsighted policies of the Federation preceding the War. With the defeat of the Dominion, officials then chose to sign a new treaty with that same Nation —the inhabitants of Trebus, and later, with the few remaining inhabitants of Dorvan V ,as well. All tribal members of said planets, whatever their legal status (including spouses and their children) were thereupon granted the same rights and defenses offered to any other legitimate citizen. Hence, Seven, through marriage, acquired a lawful and immediate measure protection from the more devious elements hidden within Starfleet bureaucracy, until a more conventional form of citizenship could be permanently re-established. But not from the warped fantasies of her new husband's damaged mind.

It all seemed so unfair.

Chakotay resumed walking until he came to a place where the road doubled back toward the village, away from the fields and above the lake, feeling like a snotty child. Adults understood how useless it was to think of life in terms of what was fair. He tried hard to be the hero. Only, it hadn't worked. He wasn't the kind of the man Seven needed him to be. Dedicated and brave, qualified by birth for the job as her protector, it hadn't been enough. He'd lost too much of himself on New Zealand. Lost faith. Lost the opportunity for the two of them to create a functioning relationship. What kind of life they could have built together, he'd never know.

Looking down, his eyes drifted along the curving border of the road —over the edge —down the sloping stretch of earth that gradually leveled off and softened into the unseen shimmer of crimson sand that made up the beach. He rocked side to side, redistributing his weight from one foot to the next, the unrelenting surface of the road harassing of the tender soles of his bare feet. Gingerly, he pivoted, away from the muting grade, to stare through the dark back at the house. The lights were on, Kathryn inside. Waiting up to talk what she thought of as sense into him, no doubt, in the kitchen, probably with a freshly brewed pot of coffee for the two of them to share. He closed his eyes. Tried to decide whether to make his way to the lake. Pictured the widespread circumference of placid cool that lay less than a few hundred meters away.

He should go back to the house, to Kathryn —to talk and to listen. She had traveled all this way to see him. Left her responsibilities at Starfleet and her lover behind to come and try to make sense out of the misery that he had inflicted on them all. He thought again of Seven, his wife, soon-to-be-no more. Of how much he once hated her, for her borgness, her haughty superiority. The wedge her adolescent neediness seemed to drive between Captain and Commander. Between the person whose encumbrances he had dedicated his every effort into diminishing, and himself, once upon a time. If his vision had been clearer, then, and not clouded by prejudice, he would have discounted Seven's borgified veneer much sooner instead of wallowing in hatred. Unlike Kathryn, who had dismantled the machinery without so much as a thought, and offered a second chance at life to the frightened creature residing within.

Chakotay opened his eyes and told himself to turn back. Turn back, brave his demons, unbind his soul and offer up an explanation. He owed Seven that much after everything he had put her through. He sacrificed their future for a present that jumped track. Nonetheless, if he explained it all, explained it all to her through Kathryn —to Kathryn, the details of his family madness. If he exposed the ranting contorted gibberish, the clanging noise inside his head, in such a way that managed to make sense to either woman —let alone to himself, would it make any difference? Chakotay was afraid it would.

He really did not want to try.

Still, Kathryn was waiting for him. Poised to untangle the Gordian knot he had created from the threads of her carefully laid-out plans. Kathryn was waiting. Ready to take on another of his screwed-up burdens, smooth away his mistakes, this time as self-appointed Go-between. Kathryn was waiting. Out, not to save him from the wreckage of a burned-out shuttle or the mental stratagems of a maniacal Bajorian fanatic, but to him save him from himself.

Kathryn was waiting. Ever beside him, ever by his side, even in the Alpha Quadrant, shouldering his burdens as advocate and more... So much more, once upon a time.

Chakotay bit the inside of his cheek, and tasted blood.

Once upon a time, she had been his entire world and he placed his beating heart in trust between her hands. Once upon a time, he dared hope that, someday, Voyager would break free of the Delta Quadrant, Kathryn would shake loose from the bonds of her command, and offer her heart to him in exchange.

Once upon a time was a long time ago and seemed, all in all, much too far away...

Chakotay vaulted off the road, tripping down the coarse slope and onto the beach. He broke into a run, ignoring his discomfort as he raced past a familiar grouping of trees that rose up in a line and served as border to the lake. He ran without stopping. Feet sinking into the sand, leaving half-circle shaped impressions behind him as they lifted, the impressions deepening and falling further apart as he increased his speed. His shirt landed somewhere on the beach as he continued to run. His pants heaping disregarded beside a gnarled tree trunk in two small hops as he raced across sand and dove into the waiting water.

Parallel Lines, Part 6: Sheet Bend, Copyright (c) kneipho 2008, 2012