By: Xai

Chapter 1.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. . .sad for me. Red and blue are my generic characters along with Sky Blue

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Red: we lost!

Blue: lost what?

Red: _ not sure...

Blue:... like...

Red: ... like a story line, a meaning, and (stares up at name designer) some totally non generic names

Blue: yeah, what the crap kinda names are 'red' and 'Blue'?

(Name designer drops Eva 1 on blue)

Red: what the heck kinda show is this without a second character?

Sky Blue: hi.

Red: who the crap are you? Some pointless reincarnation of blue?

SB: nope.

Red: look man, Sky Blue, what-the heck? this show needs something that doesn't suck, like a good reason for existence, and i can't stress the fact that generic names suck-

(name designer drops Eva 2 on Red)

Sky Blue: you guys have to realize being a writer is like being a god in a story book.

(writer drops non-existent Eva 3 on SB)

Shinji: does any one but me think this is turning into a poorly written spoof on Evangelion?

Asuka: because it is.

Shinji: this sucks, am i actually going to have to talk aimlessly for eleven pages?

Asuka: hopefully this writer has good taste.

(writer looks away)

Shinji: where is rei?

Rei: ... no coment...

Asuka: Rei never did talk much.

Shinji: nope.

(shinji steals a car)

Shinji: up for a ride?

Asuka: you can't drive, your 14

Rei: true...

Shinji: watch me ( drives car into tree)

Asuka: you drove 3 feet... into a tree

Rei: done watching.

Shinji: so 14-year-olds can't drive.

Asuka: that doesn't explain why we can pilot Eva's

Rei: if we couldn't this show wouldn't exist.

Shinji: still (steals another car)

Asuka: why do you keep stealing cars?

Shinji: i have a good feeling about this one. (drives car into other car)

Asuka: good feeling= floor it- into another car

Shinji: yes it does.

Rei: wow thats the worst thing i have ever heard.

Shinji: yes, i know, but its true.

Rei: um...

Asuka: lets go some where.

Shinji: (steals another car) this time i'm used to flooring it.

Rei: you know, if you didn't floor it you could drive better.

Shinji: fine, fine... stupid generic car.

(starts driving)

Asuka: street, sign, car, pedestrian, pedestrian clinging to sign- wow you really do suck!

Shinji: its ok, all of the people in this are generic, they can't die.

Rei: that doesn't mean you should hit them.

Shinji: you only think that

Asuka: are you trying to suck at driving.

Shinji looks away.

Rei: it seems shinji is.

Shinji: um...

Asuka: give me the wheel!

Shinji:hey, i'm having fun here (drives car into building)

Asuka: fun? you just drove our car into a building!

Rei: don't forget the strange ticking noise the engine is making.

Shinji: what noise ( car blows up) oh yeah that, oh well ( steals another car)

Asuka: you're not driving this time!

Shinji: you only think that!

Rei: true.

Asuka: oh great, now wonder girl is against me, this sucks.

Shinji: i cant let you into this car (looking sortof scared) look.

Asuka: awww, Shin-ji has fan-girls!

Rei: i don't think you can talk.

Asuka (blushing/angry) oh shut-up wonder girl.

Shinji: aw man, now i have to worry about non generic characters, crap i can't blow up this car.

Asuka: you actually like blowing up cars?

Shinji: yup.

Asuka: hey wait did you just call rei and i genreic?

Shinji: sorry i only understand Japanese.

Asuka (slaps SHinji) oh shut up and drive.

Shinji: you know rei hasn't had a speaking part in like eight lines.

Rei: now i have one.

Shinji; wow, that sucked, this writer is really running out of good ideas.

Asuka: next thing you know Eva 1 will come over here and ask you to buy beer.

Shinji: i already told him mto ask Misato!

Rei: did she do it?

Shinji: Eva 1 is like 20 times her size, did she have a choice?

Asuka: that explains why Eva one hasn't been around.

Shinji: if you drank a bathtub of beer you wouldn't be around either.

Asuka: that is sickeningly true.

Rei: i take it that you had to buy a new bathtub.

Shinji: new bathtub, new wall.

Asuka: that really sucks.

Shinji: Do you know how much that beer cost?

Rei: 30,000?

Shinji: higher.

Asuka: 400,000?

Shinji: 100,000,000,000

Asuka: were did you get that cash?

Shinji: E-bay.

Rei: not gonna coment.

Asuka: what did you sell?

Shinji: um... all of your stuff...

Asuka: that explains the fact that i only have clothing now.

rei: um...

Asuka: wait, (loses calm) you sold every thing! I'm going to kill you!

Shinji: I'm already dead.

Rei: no comment

Asuka: (beats up Shinji) You JERK!

Shinji: ow, my head. well i also sold the toilet in the bathroom and some letter you got from Kaji.

Asuka: anger rising

Shinji: (sees life pass before eyes) only thing passing through mind: Asuka's gonna kill you

Rei: and the dead are dead.

Asuka: (shinji's existence has expired) i'm gonna kill the buyer.

shinji: um... the buyer is dead.

Rei: what happened?

Shinji: i sold it to a dead guy.

Asuka: um okayy.

Rei: this conversation is starting to suck. Let's go to Nerv

Shinji: (steals another car) That old car sucked any way. Lets go.

Rei: shinji, i'm sorry but you really do suck at driving.

Asuka: not to mention you are in the wrong lane.

Random pedestrian: all right ! Let's here it for driving in the wrong lane!

Shinji: (drives over generic pedestrian) Opps...

Asuka: what the crap was that?

Shinji: fun.

Rei: he just keeps getting worse at driving.

Shinji: oh come on, its not like we're paying for these cars anyway.

Asuka: true.

(arrive at Nerv)

Shinji: must...pee...

Asuka: Reai and i did not want to here that!

Shinji: (running to bathroom) to bad! (voice fades)

Asuka: where to?

Rei: lets find the kitchen.

( they are walking down the hall when Shinji comes running at them.)

Asuka: what are you doing?

Shinji: turn around.

Asuka: why?

Shinji: believe me.

Asuka: i smell smoke, shinji what did you do.

Shinji: set the kitchen on fire.

Asuka: how?

Shinji: i tried to cook hotdogs in the microwave.

Asuka: wow that's dumb.

Shinji; yup.

Rei: (sigh) no comment