Notes: Meh....a story attack while my head was hanging upside down yesterday. Ever have one of those moments? Probably not, huh.... well, anyway. Thought I'd submit for your approval. I openly admit I've written better. But it's something I haven't tried before, since I sometimes forget about the supporting cast. It's all pure speculation, since there's a lot we don't know yet about Gaiden. Sigh.

Yet Another Note: I almost forgot to credit my wonderful beta-reader, AliasOfWestgate! Thanks! (psst, her stories are great! Go read them!!)

Here goes.

To Thine Own Self Be True
By Pervasive Threnody

They say knowledge is supreme. Do I believe it? I'm not sure I even know myself.

Knowledge. What is it? It is generally regarded as information retained for use at a later date. The more of this information one is found to have, the better. That's what the status quo wants you to think, at least. In truth, a great sum of knowledge is not always such a blessing.

Is it, Son Goku?

What would you tell me? As you are now, you would probably say that you are often frustrated because there is so much you cannot remember. You spend your days running all over the place, wide-eyed and hungry and trying to figure out who the hell you are, upset with people and their secrets because you have none. But have you ever stopped to consider what a precious gift you have?

Aware of emptiness. You are acutely aware of what you perceive to be lacking in yourself--origin, a sense of identity, a place where you truly belong. Your past is nothing more than a stone prison and five hundred years of watching the sky.

Do you truly wish for more?

Be careful what you wish for, Goku. That, my dear, is a far more useful platitude than all the ones about knowledge combined.

I could certainly return your memory to you. You would know, then, of your unorthodox birth. You could close your eyes once more and see, in your mind's eye, the great full moon that greeted your entrance into this world. You could look down at your hands in wonder, and then climb down from that great rock, blessed with earth's strength and spirit. Then, in your mind, you could remember your life again....

Continue to look, as long as you are on this journey. Look to the first time you were deceived, having been promised a good meal by a kind-looking man if only you would follow him. Recall being brought before my throne, scruffy and wild and bearing heavy chains... and meeting your sun for the first time. I'm sure you'd like to remember that, wouldn't you, Goku? I could let you, and it would make you happy, at least for a while. You would remember the peacefulness of heaven (I prefer to just call it boring), and that you were truly cared for by those who knew you: two misfit gods, a sullen man whose heart you stole, and a little boy with eyes just like yours.

Remember still more. The pain you felt from seeing that little boy returning from battle, bruised and beaten and ill. You would remember the light slowly dimming in his eyes as time passed and his soulless father pulled the puppet strings ever harder. You would remember, too, your friends' suffering when they finally began to understand just how deep the river of corruption ran in the ranks of Heaven. They knew too much, Goku, and so did you. And when people know too much, they become dangerous to people who don't know of anything except greed and power.

When it became too much and you lost yourself, I took away everything you knew. Yes, it was I who took your past from you. Would it have made you any happier if I hadn't? I don't think so. There is a great sorrow in remembering happiness in times of misery, Goku.... remember this if you ever find out I did it. And try not to be too angry.

The sage equal to heaven...you're such a fascinating little dichotomy, Goku. You can be aware of nothing in one moment. In the next, you can be aware of everything... but only at a great cost to everything you hold dear.

Which would you rather be? You have a purpose far beyond your wildest imagination, little baka have an origin. An identity. A place where you belong. Those are your secrets; ones not even you know. Yet for all the discomfort your supposed ignorance brings, you are more content than I, who is said to know almost everything.

I sometimes wish I were a bit more like you, Goku. Your cheerful nature is very precious to me; it brightens my boring life to see you at work. I especially enjoy watching you annoy the hell out of my darling nephew. He's such an open target for it; how I do miss being able to rib him on a regular basis! I guess that's what I have you for: to imagine the person I could have been, to remember the way others once were, and to realize what some people will never be.

You really are an amazing little creature, Goku. There is so much you have yet to learn, about yourself and the world around you. As frustrating as it is to you, never forget it also makes you unique. With nothing to hide and everything to give, you have managed something so many have failed to acheive.

Aware of enlightenment. Is it better than all the 'stuff' you could ever know? I still am not sure. What do you think, Son Goku? Would you rather know all you can and accept the pain that comes with it, or spend your days trailing the sun without ever understanding why? Someday, you will have the choice. For now, little monkey, eat, sleep and be content that you are lucky enough to be so wonderfully perfect, whoever you are.

That, I think, is the best thing you could ever know.

Well, that's that. I don't know Kanzeon Bosatsu too well. But I imagine se, being the Goddess of Mercy, had something to do with Goku's memory loss.

Note: I read somewhere Goku's name can mean both "Aware of Emptiness" and/or "Aware of Enlightenment" .... in case anyone wonders about the switch.
Anyway. Thanks for reading. ^_^