I've loved and been loved by each girl in this team. And I'm not talking about that crazy spell three years ago. Wow, to think that this *loser* has such a good collection: nice, bad, weird, crazy, bitchy... but all of them beautiful.

First of all Buffy. I fell for her since the first time. She says she loves me as a friend. I know she does. But who says she hadn't ever felt something more towards me. After all, I was always at her side, completely devoted to her. If only Angel had never appeared in her way... then maybe... just maybe.

Then Willow. My best friend. Such a nice girl... nice, shy, friendly Willow. My best buddy. That she was till the day in her room. But when I saw her in that dress I realized something I hadn't even thought about: She was beautiful, a goddess. I don't really know how but then we were sneaking around for a kiss. Bad, bad Xander. But I liked it. She was sweetness and fire, all in one. How could I let her go? But then the worst happened...

I hurt her. I know I did; though I'm still not so sure if it was her heart or her pride which I broke. I loved Cordy, with an immature love maybe; but I know she *was* important for me. And meanwhile, she loved to hate me. Sometimes I wonder if she ever loved me and then I remember that Valentine's Day. First she insulted my present and then gave it back without a thought. She had it in her locker for God's sake! I still don't know how we were together for so long. I guess the hours in a closet are the answer. No matter how much I loved her ours was a physical relationship in which we tried to feel something for the other.

Which brings me to Anya. I love her. She may be an ex vengeance demon, but I guess a mantis-woman and a crazy Slayer aren't *that* normal. She had witnessed many horrors and caused them, too. She have been the owner of a great power but as an human she is only my girlfriend: selfish but still helping, blunt but always honest (for good or worse...) Sometimes she reminds me of Cordy (Something I better *never* say aloud) But she's much more: she loves me. I'm sure of it. She loves me and that's why I love her too.

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