March 23, 2004

Wow, here I am yet again. Ain't inspiration grand? Hope you enjoy this--it came straight from my heart to the screen. Post-episodic; shounen-ai free. (Yes, I CAN write gen! I know, I'm amazed too! ^_~)

Hearty thanks as always to AliasOfWestgate for the beta-read, especially since plotbunnies never attack until 11 o'clock at night. ^_^

Titanium Violets

By Pervasive Threnody

It was going to be a long night, and damned if he wasn't going to be awake for the whole of it.

What was the use. Gojyo opened his eyes, abandoned his latest attempt at sleep, and reached for a cigarette. Only problem was, they were on the table in the middle of the room. No big deal, right? He tossed back his bedcovers and set his feet onto the wooden floor.

And promptly lurched forward as his legs turned to jelly and puddled beneath him.

God damn. Gojyo reached up and clawed for purchase at the bed, only to have the sheets give way and gather in his hands. He swore again and kicked the floor.

In the midst of a particularly choice string of curses, the door opened. "You're making quite a mess of yourself," Hakkai observed passively as he entered. He pushed the door shut quietly and made for the table. "You might even wake your roommate if you continue."

It was a benign statement, but Gojyo read between the lines. "If I tore the place to pieces, he wouldn't stir," he grumbled, trying his legs again. Unfortunately, he got only a step or two toward the bed before they surrendered to his weight. Gojyo flailed uselessly and cursed some more. "I can't believe this," he muttered, slumping to the ground. "I thought she said I had a lotta blood."

Hakkai studied him for a moment; something like a real smile threatened his face. "Don't believe everything you hear," he finally replied. "Then again, I'm tempted to take her word for it. I'm surprised you made it that far from the bed."

"Thanks, mom," Gojyo grumbled, trying once more to stand.

"I am told she's also a man...."

"This from the guy who doesn't believe everything he hears?"

Hakkai inclined his head, still smiling faintly. A glint of lamplight reflected in his eyes. "Shall I believe you are feeling yourself again? Or would you sacrifice being discredited for a return to where you started?"

Gojyo smirked, letting one eyelid droop shut. "Depends on what I do when I get there."

"Not what you would like," Hakkai quipped, pulling the half-demon to his feet and gently depositing him onto the bed. "You're too weak for that anyway."
"You're horrible," Gojyo muttered, flopping onto his back. Hakkai ignored the comment and turned to focus his attention on the supplies he had brought with him into the room.

"You shouldn't be trying to move about for another day at the least," Hakkai spoke, rummaging through his things. "As we already discussed, you lost quite a bit of blood. I hope you realize anemia is no laughing matter."

"Yeah, well, I ain't laughing," Gojyo groused, shifting himself beneath the blankets with more effort than he was happy with. "Damn that woman, and damn her again. Who did she think she was?"

"I don't know," Hakkai mused. His back was turned and the sound was muffled slightly. "Whoever she was, we ought to be thankful for her assistance."

"I'm thankful I still got blood in me."

"It went to a good cause," Hakkai said, his voice notably clearer for having turned back around. A thermometer was in his hand.

"Good cause, my ass. Ain't nothin' good about that droopy-eyed monk." Gojyo's eyes strayed toward the table and the small box resting there; green eyes followed the movement, but ignored the tacit request and strode to the bed. "Open, please."

Gojyo scowled, but obeyed. As the thermometer entered his mouth, a suggestive thought came to mind. He pushed it away and leaned back onto the pillows.

"Hell, least I'm still awake," he mused around the thermometer. "Made out better than those two."

"There you are," Hakkai said, hovering beside his bed as he waited for the reading. "That's an excellent way of looking at it." He then pulled the thermometer from Gojyo's mouth. "It's improved," was his verdict, and Gojyo nodded.

"How are they doin', anyway?" The redhead's eyes turned serious before straying to the occupied bed on the far side of the room. He studied the prone form lying unconscious. It was highly unusual to see Goku still in any state, awake or not, and he knitted his brow.

"Better than expected," Hakkai answered. He walked over to check on the boy, padding quietly so as not to wake him. "Sanzo's not yet awake. I suspect it may be a while before he comes to."

"I'm not complainin'," Gojyo huffed, but it was half-hearted. A wave of nicotine craving broke over him and he sighed, squirming on the bed. "Hey, uh...."

It was a testament to their relationship that Hakkai didn't need to ask what Gojyo wanted. He merely turned back to the table, plucked the cigarette box from it, and deposited it in his knapsack. Gojyo groaned. "C'mon..."

"I won't have you smoking in here," Hakkai answered calmly. "Not while Goku is recovering." His voice was forged steel, and Gojyo knew better than to fight it. He rubbed his face with his hands, resisting a churlish remark. "Fine."

"You can, however, have this." Hakkai produced a small set of aluminum cans. Gojyo's eyes lit up like the sun.

"God, I love you," he raved. "Gimme." He held out a beseeching hand, to which Hakkai responded with a guarded smile. He picked up the cans and placed them on the small table next to Gojyo's bed, pulled over a chair, and sat next to him. "Shall we?" he asked, holding up a deck of cards.

"Even better." Feeling more at ease, Gojyo cracked a beer while Hakkai dealt for poker.

A few rounds and two drinks later, and Hakkai was winning as usual. "Damn," Gojyo muttered, tossing down his cards. "One of these days I'll win." His voice was lightly slurred by that point, and he looked exhausted. "Go to sleep now," Hakkai told him, rising from his chair.

"Y'know...." Gojyo suddenly sounded thoughtful, his voice far away as if he were somewhere else. He gazed up at the worn ceiling. "I never really figured."

Hakkai paused; hand on the chair's back. "What?"

"That kid." Gojyo looked at Hakkai and his eyes were dark. "You'd never know, lookin' at him.... God, he's so little. Like you could snap him in two."

At these words, Hakkai's own eyes grew dim. "You're right," he answered. He sat back down in the chair and looked across the room. "He seems a child in so many ways that we have come to expect nothing more than that." In his bed, the child stirred and rolled over to face the two men, golden eyes shuttered tightly, breath slow and even. Moonlight reflected in his diadem, the one thing that stood between the boy and the devil, and Hakkai shivered despite himself.

"It just makes it all the more disturbing when he stops acting like one," Gojyo finished, his voice quiet as he, too, watched the boy sleep. "What the hell happened tonight, Hakkai?"

The brunette didn't seem to have an immediate answer. He looked down at his hands, trying to formulate one. "It seems we saw what Goku becomes when he isn't."

"Damn." Gojyo shifted on the bed so he could look at Hakkai more easily, his expression more serious than it had been in a good while. "I'm startin' to wonder what the hell we've gotten into here."

"Are you wishing to turn back?"

This time it was Gojyo that lacked a quick answer. "No," he finally said. "'Cause I couldn't, even if I could. Y'know?" With nothing to say to that, Hakkai merely nodded. There was a calm, thoughtful silence before Gojyo spoke again.

"I was scared tonight," he admitted, his voice still blurred from alcohol but trembling with a note of withheld emotion. "I never knew he was like that. I mean, I guess I figured, but still. Shit, man." He closed his eyes, and then opened them again. "What are we supposed to do?"

"What can we do?" Hakkai responded, the same note of worry in his own gentle tenor. "He's one of us, Gojyo. No matter who or what he is when that limiter breaks."

"I know. But I can't help but wonder what would happen if things really went to hell. What if Sanzo actually did die? He's the whole reason we're on this damn trip, Hakkai. We lose him, the sutra is useless. Then we lose Goku too and God knows what happens."

"They're quite the pair, aren't they?" Hakkai offered a tiny smile.

"I didn't think he'd need it." Gojyo managed to lift his head to meet his companion's eyes, despite his exhaustion. "But damn it all, Hakkai.... we gotta protect that bastard. The hell with what he says. This whole thing falls apart without him... Goku especially. Me, they'd keep going. Don't know how far they'd get without a healer, so you've got something more for yourself. But if Sanzo dies... "

"Don't sell yourself short, Gojyo," Hakkai admonished. "You're meant to be here as much as he is."

"I know, I know." He sighed. "I'm just.... we're walking on eggshells from here on. This thing's gonna be harder'n hell, if we can even pull it off. We might not even make it back alive."

"I know," Hakkai said, his voice growing faint from his own lack of sleep, or maybe a dread for things to come. "But he has to."

"Protect the monk, you protect the monkey," Gojyo murmured, and he shut his eyes once more. "They'd kill us if they knew."

"The secret is to never let them know." Hakkai smiled now, a real smile of fondness. "And now you know your purpose here." He rose from the chair and stretched. "Now, sleep. I'm going to check our favorite invalids and try to rest myself."

"And you just might have the pleasure of waking to Sanzo-sama's morning smile," Gojyo answered, eager for the last word. He yawned.

"Sleep," Hakkai ordered gently. "A new day starts when you wake up."

"Yeah," Gojyo answered, losing his grip on consciousness. "When he wakes up, the kid.... tell him he's all right. You know what I mean."

"I do."

"Good." He gave in to sleep, relieved the sandman had come despite how the night had promised to unfold. Satisfied his friend was at peace, Hakkai left to ensure his other patients were as comfortable as he could make them.

When he finished, the sun had risen once more.

Owari

Few more notes: My beta-reader and I have discussed on several occasions how, in certain pictures, the boys seem to be 'clustered' around Sanzo, almost as if trying to protect him. They all have their own reasons, and I think this might explain some of it. Droopy-Eyes would shoot them if he knew, of course.... but our lips are sealed, at , I picked the title because I think it sums the boys up well: each incredibly strong in their own way, yet so fragile at the same time. ^_^

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed.