Author's Note: I saw a picture on a site where Kurt was in a dress in a
Western setting. I think it was during the Cross Time Caper. Now why would
Kurt be in a dress? Could it have something to do with his alternate
version in that world? Hmmm...
And in case you're wondering, yes, the alternate version of Kurt is a
WARNING: MATURE CONTENT INSIDE!
Kurt was not a very happy woman. Frowning, she placed her hands on
her hips and she looked around her dressing room, her tail swishing behind
her in anger.
Someone had taken her favorite dress and wig!
Growling softly, she swore and decided to just pick something else to
wear. After all, she needed to be out in her saloon and watch over those
rough and rowdy cowboys again.
A woman's job was never done.
Calmly she looked through her other dresses until she finally found
one to her liking. It was a lilac color with lots of ruffles and frills
around the waist and down the rest of the dress with a long slit on the
side to show her fishnets.
Taking out some soft cloth, she stuffed the front of her corset to
give herself a nice breast size before she slipped on her dress, adjusting
it slightly to hide the fact that she had been mistakenly born a man
instead of the woman she knew she was underneath. Hiking up her dress, she
slipped on black fishnets, adjusting it so that it didn't get tangled on
the toe on the back of her feet.
The shoes were a bit difficult to work with. Biting her lower lip,
Kurt took a deep breath and she started to try and squeeze her feet into
her narrow shoes. It took a while, but she was finally able to put them on
and she smiled as she stood in front of the mirror, her high heeled shoes
sparkling in the lantern light.
"Now for my wig..." she whispered. She opened a closet and revealed a
few mannequin heads with different kinds of hairstyle wigs on. All of them
were blond and she sighed, looking at the spot where her favorite wig used
"I suppose I will have to ask Alistaire to make me another one just
like it." She shrugged, choosing one that was all ready done up with fake
sapphires and feathers in it. Carefully she put it on, adjusting it a bit
and using bobby pins with sparkling glass jewels on them to keep it in
place like real hair.
Digging through her jewelry box, she took out a pair of long earrings
that were the only real diamonds that she owned.
Perfect. Now all she needed was to put on a little make-up and she
was ready to take on those men out there who wanted to meet the owner of
Her long claws were all ready painted a stunning crimson red, so she
went to her lipstick, making her lips cherry red to match the rouge that
she put on next. A little eyeliner to make them look more lush and her face
more exotic and she was finished with everything.
"Ms. Wagner?" It was Meggan, knocking on the door nervously.
Honestly, that girl needed to find herself a man to make her more relaxed!
"Ms. Wagner, everyone wants to see you now! You have to start the show!"
"Coming [i]mein liebling![/i] You cannot rush perfection you know!"
Kurt called, putting on a jeweled bracelet as a last minute touch up. She
really hated her voice sometimes. She wanted it to be more womanly, but for
some reason it always came out scratched, sounding like a man trying to
imitate a woman's voice and failing.
When she said this to her girls, they never had the heart to tell her
that she [i]was[/i] indeed a man trying to imitate a woman's voice.
Stepping out of the room, Kurt smiled and winked at Meggan, tilting
her head to one side as she headed for the back of the stage where she
could men shouting out for Ms. Wagner. Her girls were waiting in their can-
can outfits, checking their bodices to make sure their cleavage was showing
immensely for the men.
"Gather round! Gather round." Kurt said, clapping her hands and
stepping in the middle of the group. "Now girls, I hear a lot of men out
there tonight! And we all know what men want when they come to the Blue
Heaven now don't we? They want to see us, so dance your best out there,
[i]mein liebes![/i] I know that you will make me proud!"
Laughing the girls took their places and waited as Kurt slowly parted
the curtains and stepped in front of them amid the wolf calls and howling
that occurred as soon as the spotlight hit her.
Smiling, she gestured for the men to all calm down, her tail swaying
side to side lazily.
"Now calm down, boys!" she said. "If you yell too loudly, you will
scare away the girls! You don't want to do that now do you?" The men
responded with loud shouts and applause.
"I thought so." She nodded. "Well then put your hands in your gold
bags because these girls aren't coming out here for free! I give you; the
Blue Heaven Girls!" stepping off the stage, Kurt had the curtains raised
and the girls started to dance as the men started to howl and bang on the
Soon gold coins were thrown onto the stage, and Kurt smiled as she
watched her girls skillfully pick them up, seducing the men all the while.
Seeing that everything was all right with her girls, Kurt headed for the
bar to serve out drinks and get one herself. She laughed and posed a few
times along the way as a few men whistled at her and asked if she would
show them a little more than just that slit on the side of her dress.
"You must use your imagination, [i]mein herr![/i]" she said to one
old man, tapping him lightly on the tip of his nose. "Unless you can pay to
see more later." She added, leaning forward and kissing him lightly on the
lips. Winking, she left the astonished old man sitting there as she went
behind the bar to help serve out drinks.
All was going well for her and her saloon; until Brian came in.
Narrowing her eyes, Kurt pursed her lips and placed her hands on her
hips, looking over at Meggan defensively. She didn't like Brian, not at
all. The bastard used to beat Meggan until Kurt had finally chased him away
from her saloon and swore that she would kill him if he ever came in again.
Her tail slowly went under her dress to her ankle, where she always
kept a tiny pistol there in case someone got a bit violent and needed to be
taken care of in a hurry.
"What are you doing here?" she asked flatly, narrowing her eyes as
Brian walked up. Sitting down on a stool he shrugged, putting down a bag of
gold on the bar.
"A man can come in here if he's thirsty can't he?" he asked.
"Not if he beats one of my girls he can't!" Kurt snarled, narrowing
her eyes. "Get out before I make you get out!"
"Why do you hate me so much?" Brian asked, cocking an eyebrow
slightly. "You know you want me." Kurt drew her pistol, calmly pulling back
"Get out, Brian." She warned. "I [i]will[/i] shoot you!" Shrugging,
Brian got up, looking at Kurt with narrowed eyes.
"I'll get you one of these days, Ms. Wagner." He said. "When you're
not looking I'll let everyone know what you are!"
"What I am is a very pissed off woman at the moment!" Kurt snarled.
"Now get out!" Brian left, and the tension he had brought with him was
gone. Sighing, Kurt put back her pistol and she smiled, turning to the next
When the night was done, it was time to close up the saloon and start
the second business Blue Heaven performed for the men of the town;
prostitution. It was the girls who got most of the business of course, but
there were a few men who specially requested to be with Ms. Wagner.
Now how could she deny her public what they wanted?
She had a few rules however when it came to what she did. She kept
the lights down very low so that she could the fact that she was not as
womanly as she wished to be. She only allowed a few positions to be
performed, and she never let them take any longer than half an hour.
She never really looked at the men who paid to be with her, and she
really should have sometimes.
That night, a friend of Brian's came in and he got all the proof he
needed to help Brian to get back at Kurt for taking Meggan away from him.
When the man was finished, he calmly took one of the spare keys to the back
door of Kurt's room and he slipped it into his pocket as he paid for the
The next night, Kurt was getting ready for another performance with
the saloon when she heard someone opening the back door. She was too busy
stuffing her corset however, and she figured that it was a friend since no
one else had a key to her back door.
"Just sit down on the bed, [i]liebe![/i]" she said. "I will be done
in a minute!" Brian grabbed her by the waist, spinning her around roughly,
startling her badly.
"I think you're done now!" he said. "And everyone is going to see how
much of a freak you are!"
"Let go of me!" Kurt cried, struggling with him wildly. Brian was
holding her arms too tightly, and she couldn't stop him as he dragged her
out of the room still in her corset.
"Hey everybody! Look what Ms. Wagner is!" Brian shouted. The men at
the tables looked up and Brian tore off the top of Kurt's corset before he
threw her to the ground in front of everyone.
The whole saloon fell silent as everyone stared at the man in the
torn corset in surprise.
"I'm just worried about the men who paid to sleep with this thing!"
Brian said before he left the saloon.
Hugging her chest, Kurt looked up and found everyone staring at her
in horror. As tears started to sting her eyes, she turned and ran into her
room, slamming the door shut and locking it.
She kept the saloon closed for a week, staying in her room the whole
time. She finally allowed Meggan to reopen the saloon, but she refused to
leave her room no matter what. Everyone tried to make her come out of her
room, but she refused, staying on her bed, wrapped in her blanket and
No one would ever want to see her again. They probably wanted to beat
her for what she had done. She had revealed her secret to a few people in
other towns, and they had all tried to kill her and drove her out of town.
She really didn't want to move away from this town, and she knew that
someone would try to kill her for this; most likely someone who she had
She really didn't want to let Meggan into her room, but the girl just
wouldn't give up, so she consented finally, opening the door for her.
Meggan sat down beside her, placing an arm around her shoulders.
"Ms. Wagner, you need to go out there." Meggan said. "You need to
start the show." Kurt shook her head, sighing softly.
"I cannot, Meggan." She said. "I'll get shot if I do. Just open it
for me all right?" Meggan shook her head, sighing softly at Kurt.
"You're the one who made this saloon, Ms. Wagner!" she said. "Only
you can start the show!"
"I think you're giving those people out there too little credit!"
Meggan said. "Just try one last time, Ms. Wagner! The rest of the girls
want you to come back too!" Kurt looked away, her tail curling up slightly
as she thought about it.
"Are you sure?" she asked. Meggan smiled, nodding a bit.
"I'm positive. Let me help you get ready!" Kurt reluctantly
consented, and Meggan smiled and helped her get dressed.
She chose a long slender dress that was scarlet colored with gold
etching on the middle and shoulders. She chose golden hoop earrings and she
sat Kurt down to help her with her stockings and shoes. The wig she chose
was down to Kurt's shoulders and she curled the ends up slightly, smiling
as she placed one strand of hair in front of Kurt's eyes.
When she put on Kurt's make-up, she chose sky blue rouge and
lipstick, applying it gently and less than Kurt always out on.
"You don't need any eyeliner." She said, smiling at her. "Your lashes
and longer without them."
"I'm a little nervous about this." Kurt admitted, as she stood behind
the curtain. Smiling, Meggan rested a hand on her shoulder and gave it a
"You'll do fine, Ms. Wagner." She whispered. "Trust me!" Nodding,
Kurt gave her a final smile before she stepped onto the stage and into
total silence. Looking around, she found herself looking at armed and
dangerous looking cowboys, all of them just looking at her in silence.
Slowly, Kurt took a deep breath and she let it out slowly, smiling
faintly as she assumed her old jaunty pose.
"What are you waiting for? Me to perform some back flips for you?"
she asked. "Where is the applause! I'm not sure that the girls will want to
come out if you boys don't clap for them! They can be very moody you know!"
When no one did anything, she sighed, rubbing her hands together slowly.
"What is the matter?" she asked. "You liked my saloon before my
secret was revealed? Don't you like my girls anymore? Or do you want to
leave and not see our show? [i]Gott[/i], I think you all must be dead not
to see the girls tonight!"
That got a few chuckles.
"Come on! You need to do better than that if you want to see them! Come
on!" Her tail flicked to one side and she gritted her teeth, waiting for
them to do something with her hands on her hips.
The applause slowly grew, and someone gave a loud and long wolf whistle.
"That is the spirit!" Kurt laughed. "Come on!"
"We missed ya, Missus Wagner!" someone shouted in the back, and the
applause grew to its old fury of old. Laughing, Kurt clapped her hands and
she raised the curtains, her girls walking up and starting to dance.
Everything was back to normal, and Kurt was finally able to find a town
that she could stay in and be herself.