Rainfall (by RK, co-written by healsformeals, inspired by a certain RB'er)

I don't know about you but I really like the rain.

I like the soothing, beating sound that it makes as it lands on everything under the heavens.

And the refreshing, moist air that it brings.

And the shivers that it brings each time a raindrop falls pelts your vulnerable skin.

It's sudden downpour and its most subtle cessation.

The way it surprises us with its occurrence.

The fact that we really never know when it stops.

In many ways it's just like love.

Nine o'clock in the evening. Yes, it was already nine when I last checked the clock hanging above the counter. Most players had already gone home. But not me. There's no way in hell that I am braving the raging storm outside. No. I'm staying in my dry little piece of paradise till the angry weather gods satisfy their desires to make my life miserable.

I just went on mindlessly clicking away at the monsters that came my way. It's always sunny in the land of make-believe. For me, my perfect life is inside the game. No worldly problems can ever follow me inside. Everything was opposite of real-life. I'm rich, everybody wants me (or rather my priestess tagging along with them) and best of all, I am always with the one person that I felt I could never be with as more than a friend in real life - Aaron.

Tempus fugit - time flies. Another two hours passed and I found myself playing alone inside the cafe. The storm didn't even show signs of flinching. In fact, the whole thing seemed to gock at me as the winds simply blew harder. I turned to my right and saw shopkeeper Adrian, who was in fact a really good friend of mine.

"Oy, Monica. It's eleven already. I need to go home." nagged Mang Aids (Mr. Aids, in Filipino)

Still engrossed with my game, I replied, "I don't want to get wet. The rain will make me sick and stuff again. Can't I just close the shop for you when Im through? I've done it a thousand time already. As a personal favor, please?"

"Haay. Sya.. sya... (fine, fine.) I'll leave the spare keys at the counter. Don't let those Ragnarok addicts come inside okay? They're as hard to expel as you."

I gave out a teethed smile. "Why should I when I'm already enjoying the perks of a really fast connection?"

Adrian was already halfway outside when he heard my reply. He opened up his umbrella. "You know, Monica, you will have to go home after some point in time. There's still life outside that friggin game. People might be worrying about you."

"I know... I know... "

Then I heard the shop's chime.

Door's closed.

Im all alone now.

But not in my world. In the world of Ragnarok, Aaron was still there, power-leveling with me in Glastheim graveyard. My relationship with him is so two-faced, you could almost say that him in-game was another man apart from in real life. Sure, we were also acquaintances outside Ragnarok but whenever we log on to Midgard, its just as if we were so damn close in real life. Maybe it's just because we were both shy.

Ok...

So maybe Im the only one with the shyness. Truth is, I have a crush on him in real life. But he really didn't look like the type who would find a girlfriend in a shy, introverted geek like me. That's probably why I never really took the chance to tell him how I felt about him.

Maybe it's the anonymity that comes with the game that aids my side. In-game, we would talk about all things for hours and hours: from week-old barbeques from our canteen to rumors of brewing relationships between friends to the next alternate job classes. Time indeed flew by when you're having fun. Whenever I was playing with him, I was indeed "happy".

In real-life, it's quite the opposite. We would talk with each other only if we really needed to. The fact that we were surrounded with basketball-billiard-drag racing aficionados who knew nothing about RO at school worsened the gap. It felt like there was an invisible wall between us. A wall that can only be bridged by the game.

(From Lazarus-Sigma): Ur still playing in Mang Aid's cafe?

I tried to type in during my free time while avoiding the clutches of zombie prisoners and skeletons.

(To Lazarus-Sigma): Yeah. I don't want to go out in the rain.
(From Lazarus-Sigma): Meaning, if the rain doesn't stop, you'll be forever here too?

I stopped to think of what I was going to type. If only I could control time and weather. I'm gonna wish that the rain would never stop so the two of us could forever be playing in the world of make-believe.

(To Lazarus-Sigma):

The enemies where somewhat scarce at that time. We were both low on SP so I decided to sit it out for a while. His character followed suit. For the first time that night, both of us couldn't think of another object of conversation. Silence reigned for what seemed to span forever.

Could there be clouds in my paradise too?

Finally, he broke the maddening silence.

(From Lazarus-Sigma): Mon, I need ur advice

An advice? Well that was a first. I chatted with him a lot but never did he ask for advice. I eagerly awaited his next ma

(From Lazarus-Sigma): It's about this girl.

A girl? My heart raced frantically. Could it be that he's already considering somebody else? I felt my chest contract, which made breathing somewhat hard.

(To Lazarus-Sigma): What about her?
(From Lazarus-Sigma): A girl in school that I've been dating told me last night that she liked me.

I felt something taking over me. Another me had overridden my basic instincts and started typing words that I really didn't feel like sending. Like some horror movie where a ghost possesses the protagonist, I could only watch at the way I took the conversation on.

(To Lazarus-Sigma): And how do you feel about it?
(From Lazarus-Sigma): Confused.
(To Lazarus-Sigma): Why? Do you like her too?
(From Lazarus-Sigma): Yes.
(From Lazarus-Sigma): But then again there's this other girl too.
(From Lazarus-Sigma): I like her more. But I don't think she even realizes it.
(From Lazarus-Sigma): I'd be lying if i say that I like the one who already said her feelings.
(From Lazarus-Sigma): But the one that I really like gives me so much room for doubt.

Another girl? Now I learned that I had to contend with two instead of one. They're probably one of those batch beauties. Aaron isn't really a hard person to not like. Looks, personality, brains. A dream barbie's ken, indeed. So the second girl takes him for granted? I then remember a line from a popular song.

Binabasura ng iba ang pinapangarap ko. (Other people throw away what I can only dream of)

(To Lazarus-Sigma): Follow your heart. Try to put her down softly. Better break her heart with the truth than to poison her future with a lie

I was starting to feel might uneasy. I couldn't go on pretending to not be affected. I was a bubble on the verge of bursting. Was I poisoning my future with a lie? Or was it a truth?

(From Lazarus-Sigma): Thanks. It's a good thing that you're always there.

The rain outside started to really dish it out on everything beneath the clouds.

Should I tell him? Should I really? He already has so many problems right now. If I really am his last safe outpost, then I could really shatter our friendship. But what about my feelings?

I took one deep breath.

(To Lazarus-Sigma): Aaron I have something to tell you.
(From Lazarus-Sigma): What's up, Mon?

A long pause followed that. I couldn't reply. 'Twas my last exit. My last form of escaping a situation of great uncertainty.

(To Lazarus-Sigma): I like you.

There. I finally did it. In the middle of GH Graveyard. Around all the flesh-eating zombies. I told him point-blanc of what I felt. I closed my eyes and thought about what I had done. He had stopped moving. No replies from him either.

Guildsman Lazarus-Sigma has quit.

Alas. Not only did lose the one that I love to some girl who wouldn't even love him back but I also lost a good friendship. All because I had too speak my piece. Water started forming around my eyes. Heavy regret fell upon me. Then self-guilt.

(Lazarus-Sigma)There is no character that goes by that name.
(Lazarus-Sigma)There is no character that goes by that name.
(Lazarus-Sigma)There is no character that goes by that name.
(Lazarus-Sigma)There is no character that goes by that name.

I found myself banging in the message "Joke joke joke!" on the keyboard repeatedly to no avail. I wanted to take it all back. His character was no longer beside mine. I covered my face with my hands. I could no longer hold back the tears. I turned the PC off. Only the sound of the rain beating on the iron roof could be heard now.

The beating of the rain.

The fact that we never really know when it stops.

In many ways its just like love.