Laguna's Retarded by Kat_Acylsm
(with a name like that, everyone's bound to read this)

Final Fantasy VII had a kick butt soundtrack, didn't it? I love writing songs to it. This song, however, is a change from my normal song fics to a song pardody. This is sung to the tune of 'Hakuna Matata', from that annoying Dizzney movie ripoff, The Lyin' King.

NOTE: Final Fantasy VIII fans will be offended. If you didn't already know, Laguna is an FF8 character from the dreamworld. He's very girlish looking, and he's a git.

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Cloud: You know, I think Final Fantasy 8 sucks so much, that we should sing about it.
Cid: Damn right.

(Music comes out of nowhere, but it doesn't matter seeing as though it was never explained where all that music came from when you were playing FFVII)

All: Laguna's Retarded,
Cid: What a bitch of a game!
All: Laguna's Retarded,
Red XIII: FF8's a facade!

Cloud: It seems yet another,
Just went down the drain,
Red XIII: It's a Final Fantasy
Sephiroth: That's really crappy!
All: Laguna's Retarded!

Cloud: Why,
When I last played FF8,
Red XIII (off key): When he last played FF8!
Cloud: Very nice.
Red XIII: Thanks.
Cloud: When I first played this game, I just wanted to squeal,
After playing two hours, I wanna appeal!
Sephiroth: This game really sucks, and it makes me wail,
To think that I thought this character was female!

Cloud: And oh the shame!
Want a change of it's name!
Cid: FF8 was no hit!
We think it's a load of sh...

Cloud: Hey Cid! Not in front of the kids!
Cid: F**k you.

All: Laguna's Retarded,
Sephy: In FF8,
All: Laguna's Retarded,
Cid: And I think he's gay...

Cloud: I think this Final Fantasy
is the crappiest game,
Sephiroth: It's a bother to me,
Red XIII: This atrocity!
All: And Laguna's Retarded.

(The group starts dancing in a conga line)
All: Laguna's retarded, Laguna's retarded, Laguna's retarded...!

Sephy: I think this Final Fantasy
is the crappiest game,
Cloud: It's a bother to me,
Cid: This atrocity!
All: Laguna's Retarded!

(End, Music dies down)

-

Cloud: What was with that first line of yours, Red?
Red XIII: Which one?
Cloud: You know, 'FF8's a facade'?
Red XIII: Yes... what about it?
Cloud: Why'd you say that? What is Final Fantasy VIII a facade of?
Red XIII: It was the only thing I could think of that rhymed.
Sephiroth: That was a pretty interesting song.
Cid: Damn right it was.
Red XIII: Before we end this fanfiction, I just have one question.
Cloud: And that is...?
Red XIII: Who's Laguna?

All: RED!

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The (real) End ^-^

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Please, no flames if you're a FF8 fan. However, if you think this sucked, then go flame me all you want. I can take it... *sniff* go on, tell me my poetry sucks... *sniffles*