Title: SG-1 On Springer

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction intended solely for entertainment; no infringement is intended to MGM; Gekko or Double Secret Productions or the Jerry Springer Show.

by the way my indications of thought's didn't show up so give me a buzz if you can't work them out and i'll try to rearange something.

"Whatever, right ok. Major Samantha Carter, my second-in-command, err she's really smart and has saved my ass more time than I can remember. K Carter your up!"

A confidant Samantha Carter walked on stage, without screaming slanderous remarks at the man currently on stage or the crowd itself, a very rare occurrence on this show. She received the same kind of praise as her CO as she appeared from around the set, cheering and whistling sounded from the audience. It was also a very rare occurrence to have two gorgeous looking people on the show at the same time, the audience were very happy as they were definitely getting their moneys worth.

Jack caught up in the moment beamed a smile of pride and encouragement as the major walked across the set and took her rightful place by him. His smile was returned by that dazzler she possessed. Their gaze was locked until she was seated and the crowd's roars dulled.

god she's hot! And the only reason why I'm here

god he looks good, he's already bored with being here I can tell

'Well hello Samantha!' said the host.

The crowd roared in appreciation once again.

I wish they'd stop doing that

'So how are you today?'

'I'm fine Jerry' you slime ball! And the man next to me is the only god damn reason I'm here

She put on her most passable fake smile.

'So how do you find saving the world as an occupation?'

What is with these lame ass questions ?

'It's challenging, every week there is some new dilemma which we need to face or solve, it would make a great TV show idea actually, once every thing was declassified.'

Trust Carter to come up with a smart idea like that

'Yeah, sure.' Then whispers, 'some one want to buy me the rights to the name SG-1. Great.' The presenter screeches a little louder, 'Sam, is it true that you are considered the brains of the team?'

Huh?, well by the sound of my thoughts you'd think not

'Um, well we're all on the team for our own individual qualities and my knowledge of certain subjects is valuable on occasions'

Wow she's so polite why doesn't she just say...

'Yes I would consider Carter to be the smartest person on the team, it has been most of her ideas, with a little help, that have saved the world countless times.'

wow that was well said jack!

I never knew he could speak so eloquently! God he's hot went he talks like that!

'Well Jack that is interesting.'

Oh shit. What now?

Here we go some smart assed comment

'Because we did our research and compared your educations.'

'What?' they said in unison.

'Yes, now Jack why would you say she is smarter than you when we found out that you have a professors degree in physics and astronomy and had written the textbook which Sam here later used for studying for here own doctorate in the subject.'

'You...'said Sam before she slipped in to shock and speechlessness.

let me think I was smarter than you, you bastard!

'Huh you think I'm smart enough to pull off something like that!'

SHIT ! Why the hell did he go and say that!

'Well let's just see what your university professor has to say!'

Audience go 'uh oh'

In walks a tall balding man not entirely dissimilar from general Hammond. He stopped half way to what was supposed to be his chair.

'I don't know him' said both men on stage simultaneously.

Thank god they screwed up Mason would have embarrassed the pants off me!

'Jerry,' Jack continued, ' I think your facts are screwed up big time.'

'But it says here that Colonel O'Neil is a professor of...'

'Ah see only one 'l' that's the colonel with no sense of humour, I have two 'l's you see.'

Did it work?

Really? Hang on one minute he looks to nervous for this to be a straight forward denial, some things going on here and I'm going to find out what they are

'Right ok,' said the host overly cheery well aware that the audience had taken a shine to the two guests and would turn on him any second.

[Maybe this show wasn't such a good idea after all]

'Stick with us till after the break when we meet the other two members of the team and some more surprise guests!'

'Oh Joy' muttered Jack.

There we go there is chapter number two sorry it's taken so long it's been waiting in my computer for a while.

Hopefully the next one should be up sooner!

Mishy

Please hit the little button... yup that little square one... yes I know it says GO on it ... do that and write something completely original like ... 'That was good please continue'... etc

Thanks