Disclaimer thingy: I don't own 'Phone Booth'. I don't even have the DVD. I
just rented it :P
Note: This is my first parody that I've actually written AND typed, so I'm
pretty proud of it. My brother gave me the idea, and I started playing
around with it. We were joking around about the movie when it came out on
DVD and made jokes about it, some I put in the story, and the rest were
estra ideas I added. R&R and enjoy..,
Knight in the Fog.
The streets seem dim this evening. Crickets break the silence but are
unnoticed as the fog moved in. Those who were smart enough stayed in their
homes after dark, when the strange & most dangerous of things happen
suddenly. But there was one still daring to roam the deserted streets,
passing casually and daringly like he was oblivious to the dangers &
hookers who were across the sidewalk. Knowing the streets as if he lived
there his whole life, wearing his worn out Nike T-shirt, his grass stained
jeans, & laceless shoes, this young man...
This bravest of the brave...this hero..
...just rammed into a pole.
It took the poor boy a few seconds to realize his impact, and an added 20
to realize he had a whopping huge bump on his forehead. He slowly got up
and wiped himself from debris. Before continuing his ongoing jog, his ear
started to tingle. This immediately activated his, how he puts it, "Spider
Senses". His alter ego couldn't resist such curiosity, and so, he was off!
His "Super Powers" led him to what was a lone phone booth, almost glowing
in the fog. It was ringing for what seemed years, since the rims of the
phone looked chipped from all the vibrating. To make sure his five-block
dash wasn't a complete waste of time (which he could've used to cross the
street, once or twice), he was prepared to enter the booth and end the
misery of this worn out telephone. He was unaware, however, that on a
building near by, a mad man, which was watching his every step was
patiently waiting for his victim to answer, as he had hoped.
The young man cautiously entered the booth, trying to make more drama in
his mini action movie. With one last gasp of breath, he then (dun dun
DUN!)....picked up the phone.
His prey has taken the bait...
"Hello?" the boy asked.
..And if you could've seen the cynical smile on that mans face..
"Heheh, Isn't it funny. You hear a phone ring it could be anybody, but a
ringing phone has to be answered, doesn't it? You should be proud that
you're my practice victim. Now you better not leave that Booth or stop
if you hang up.." the predator continued "..I will kill you."
For a brief moment, the boy was completely silent.
"K...k-k......" He stuttered with a sound in his voice that was a mix of
surprise & confusion.
...K..Karmen! Dude, is that you?"
This somewhat stunned the caller. He knew he had to be prepared for
anything and be well equipped (weapons, bombs, magazines, booze..), & even
trained himself for the worst outcomes thanks impart for a weekend stay at
his great aunt's house, but having to be called "Karmen"? Unexpected.
"Gee, man..," the young lad continued, "Have you been calling this number
all the time? Man, that must've been some break up with Tammy.."
" Um..," The man didn't know how to break it to him that he was being
involved in a deadly situation. But he tried. "excuse me but.."
"Ah, well nice to know you're doin' alright." The boy interrupted.
"Um, pardon me, but.."
"You should've seen me tonight at the Dogs Pub. Man, I was dancing like,
you know, the movie were the villain, y'know, started making shadow puppets
with his brain or something..."
"Yeah, and remember that bitchin' seen were he turns into green goo after
touching that, y'know, water. See that's why I don't trust the stuff,
"Uh.....huh". This was becoming to much for our little psychopath,
but he tried to keep his cool. After all, this was his first try.
"Now, listen here. I'm not..."
"So, you cure that acne?"
"Ohh, you know where.."
"Yeah, I can see you haven't..."
"Now excuse me..."
"Awe, don't worry dude. They got creams for that. And I'm sure they'll sell
'em for 10 cents."
"Now see HERE.."
"Cured mine in less than a week. Sick huh?"
"Gee, I wonder if Tammy knew about it?....."
His patients were now hanging by a string, or better yet, a strand of hair
over a barrel of needles while El Niño was developing right next to it.
Still, he tried to be calm about this situation. If he could survive his
great aunt, he could surely survive this.
"Now see here, kid. I'm not one of your friends. I am here to do business;
I'm not here to talk about movies, acne, girlfriends, or any other things
that haven't left your mouth yet. I am simply here to torture you into my
sick little mind game, that's all. Now, do you understand?"
"Hello? Do you understand?"
Still no response. Not wanting to call it quits, the man kept yelling into
the phone until he heard any sign of life.
Soon enough, there was a growl. Not the sign he expected.
"Ooh man," The young man's voiced slured."Aww, my stomach. So hungry.."
"Hey! Did you even LISTEN to what I said!?"
Sheepishly, the boy responded to the now fed up arsenal. "Umm, yeah." The
boy's stomach growled. Then he continued. "Something about businesses &
girls with acne who are tortured in some mind game"
"Oh man, they must be talking about Monopoly. That game is screwy."
And that was the last he could take. Now it was time to let rage take over.
"I mean", the boy continued, "how could they let a dog own a home? They
must've been on some heavy sh-."
"SHUT UP! I have HAD IT! Now it?s time for ME to TALK, ALRIGHT!?" To prove
his seriousness, he began to shoot the street below. Not much his style,
but it was the only way to get through to the kid.
The boy was more concerned about his appetite than the madness outside the
"Oh man. Your still working night shifts at that Pizza place, right?"
"HEY! Didn?t you see?"
"Oh, can I order?"
"I'll have a medium with extra cheese?"
Then the man decided; if he wanted this to work, he'd have to play his
"Ok, ok" the man continued. "LOOK! Now If I make you some pizza, will you
PLEASE shut up for a while so I can continue?"
"Really." The boy hid a sly smile that would've been so clear to see, if
there was no fog. "If I order, will you make it with ANY toping I ask for?"
The predator sighed, knowing this wasn't the smartest thing he should have
"Are you sure??"
"YES! Now hurry up and give me your order!"
"Alrighty then" The boy then crackled his knuckles. "I want a medium sized,
extra cheese pizza, with extra cheddar!"
"Uh huh". The man began writing it down in his notebook.
"Yes, and with mayo, some eggs &.."
"Boiled or scrambled?"
"Sunny side up if you can. Right, then I'd like some pepperoni &, uh,
mushrooms, extra peppery. And finally, some of them gummy bears, just to
add some color."
"Will that be all?"
"Yup. So what's the cost?"
"Ooh, I don't know. Umm, $12.15?"
"Aww, common man, cut me some sla-.."
"Alright, alright. Um, $6.50."
"Now THAT?s more like it."
"Alright." The man wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Now remember our
The boy yawned in response. 'Yeah, & remember. It's delivery, so I'm not
movin' 'till it comes. Ok dude?"
The man just sighed in response, then hung up. He knew he was being used,
but just didn't want to admit it. Then, he fled to do what was asked.
The young man then waited, struggling to keep his saggy eyes from closing.
In the end, his eyelids won. He slid down, hugged his knees & fell right to
Light crept over the horizon & brushed the dark streets to reveal what
occurred during the night; Bullet shells & everything. Streams of light
struggled to get through the fogged up booth where the boy slept, but one
managed to pass & touched the boy's right eye. He winced, then fully open
his eyes to see the orange mixed sky. He looked over his Spider Man watch
to see that it was 6:45a.m.
He then got up & stretched. The night had passed, so now it was time for
our hero to head back to his mom's basement, which he called home.
"Well, there went HIS tip." The young man whispered. With one last yawn, he
then began his long walk home. You might say he had, vanished.
A few seconds later, a man in a black coat came carrying a Pizza box,
rushing to where the booth was. When he noticed that the booth was empty,
he made a quite swear then kicked the phone booth. He then threw the pizza
to the ground and marched off.
He pulled out a notebook and began to write,
"Note: Pizza first."