AN: As usual, I own nothing and no one portrayed here.
Sometimes I think someone up there doesn't like me. Or at the very least
doesn't like me being in the kitchen.
It's been about a month since the "Cooking With Clarice" incident and
people around here have like FINALLY stopped making chicken noises around
me whenever I pass by. I'm still avoiding Rogue though; she hasn't forgiven
me for supposedly allowing "that damned swamp rat" (her words) to make off
with her after she had the unfortunate luck to get knocked out by an
undercooked potato. Well it's not like I let her go on purpose; I had my
own airborne vegetables to deal with at the time. And it's not like I could
put up much of a fight against a 6' mutant thief with the ability to blow
up objects anyway. Besides, she really doesn't have anything to complain
about, he didn't hurt her. I just think she's mad because she woke up to
find herself thrown over his shoulder and got all embarrassed. So she's
still got a sneaky Cajun after her and I've got a pissed off Goth after me.
Which brings me to my current situation. Rogue had been promising divine
retribution for like a month now but I'd managed to stay alive, which means
whatever she's got planned, it's downright unholy. I thought I'd try to
sweeten her up a little and bake her some cookies. School picture day was
this week and I didn't want whatever revenge she was planning to possibly
wreck my pictures. I had been planning to frame one of them as a birthday
gift for Kurt. We'd been going out for a couple of months now and I didn't
think it was right that he had pictures of almost everyone else at the
mansion but none of me.
As anti-social as my roommate can be sometimes, nothing gets her in a good
mood better than chocolate chip cookies. So secure in the knowledge that I
could get back in her good graces again, I started mixing the ingredients
for those little morsels of delight. I had been doing well so far and was
happily humming a little tune when I discovered I was out of vanilla. This
was so definitely not good. Chocolate chip cookies just don't taste the
same without a little vanilla extract. The oven was already heated and I
was standing in the kitchen bemoaning my situation when Dr. McCoy walked
in. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that we were out of vanilla
and that I needed it badly for my cookies. He then totally made my day by
remembering that he had left the vanilla down in his lab when he had
borrowed it for his homemade Twinkie project. He made off for his lab and
came back shortly after with the unmarked little brown bottle. I thanked
him profusely and happily finished making my cookies. I was totally pleased
when I managed to not burn a single one. And they tasted great too!
I took my peace offering to my scheming roommate and after a brief argument
and several skeptical looks I managed to get her to try one. The look on
her face after she took a bite told me I was more than halfway to my goal
of getting her forgiveness. I got everyone else to try one too and was soon
basking in the praises of my teammates. I had like finally managed to do
something right in the kitchen. I went to bed that night one happy
Shadowcat. The day after next was Picture Day and all was right with the
I woke up the next morning to various screams throughout the mansion. I
jumped out of bed, trying to find out like who was attacking us. Passing my
mirror I stopped. MY SKIN HAD TURNED GREEN!!!! And apparently so had
everyone else's. There was a pounding on the door. "HALF-PINT!!!"
Rogue turned over, mumbling as she slowly woke up. I looked over at her,
turning pale at her new green complexion. "Rogue, it's okay, just don't
look in a mirror. Whatever you do, don't look in a mirror." "Whaa....?"
Damn. Too late.
I phased through the floor to make my escape and ran to the kitchen,
passing a teal-colored Kurt and a rather lime-complexioned Jean. Heh heh,
well she always did say that green looked good on her.
Those cookies. It had to have been those cookies. I picked up one of the
few that were left after everyone had scarfed them down yesterday and
sniffed. I smelled chocolate, I smelled butter, I smelled everything that
should be in a cookie except one thing. Vanilla. There was no vanilla in
these cookies. What the hell did I put in them then? "BEAST!!!!!!" I
shouted as I raced for the lab. I was met with a teal-colored Dr. McCoy who
had figured out that the cookies were to blame for his and everyone else's
condition and sheepishly admitted to me that he must have given me his new
experiment food coloring instead of the vanilla by mistake (he had given up
the mutant cosmetic project until he could resolve the problem of Chemical
X reacting to yeast).
Going back upstairs, we faced everyone and explained what had happened. The
resulting dialogue cannot be repeated in polite society. Or not so polite
society, for that matter. Beast announced that it would take at least two
to three days for the food coloring to wear off and beat a hasty retreat
back to his lab. The growls as the now green inhabitants of the mansion
turned to face me made me wish I could teleport instead of phase.
Picture Day was tomorrow.
I'm no longer allowed anywhere near the kitchen except for eating purposes.
I don't know why they're taking it out on me. If you think about it, it's
really Beast that should be banned from those premises. It's his inventions
that keep getting me in trouble. Well, these last two times anyway.
I've got a dilemma now though. Unless everyone is turned back to normal for
pictures tomorrow, I'm one dead mutant. Short of image inducers though, I
don't know how to do it. I wonder if Forge could come up with that many
image inducers on such short notice. Maybe if I bribed him with some