A/N: This takes place during the episode Legacy between when Lex is talking
to Lana and when Clark barges in while he's talking to the German
Lana's gone now. I like her, consider her a friend even, but she isn't the
one I want to spend my time thinking about. I should be thinking about the
businessmen who are going to visit later. We'll be working on a multi-
million, international deal. I really should be getting ready for that
meeting, but I can't quit thinking of Chloe, and what I said to Lana.
I quoted one of my favorite poets. He said that a person isn't who they
were the last time you talked to them, they're who they've been the entire
relationship. Since the moment I met her Chloe has fascinated me. I tried
to ignore it, telling myself that she is too young, and she is. Despite her
air of worldliness she is also too innocent. I will not be the one to
destroy that. I want to protect it. I want to protect her.
Unfortunately that is why I can never have her. I also told Lana that all I
know about relationships is that someone ends up hurt. I know that if Chloe
and I were together she would be the one to end up hurt. I would hurt her,
and I will never let that happen. I couldn't stand to be the one to hurt
her, so I can never be with her. I can never tell her that I've fallen in
love with her.
I'm not sure when it actually happened, when I fell in love with her. I
realized it during the time she stayed here in the mansion. She fell asleep
on the couch one night while she was watching TV. When I discovered her I
turned off the TV and then just stared at her. There was a fire going and
the light flickered off her face and hair. I don't think I've ever seen
anything more beautiful, or more innocent. They say you always want the one
thing you can't have. Most would say that with my money and influence there
is nothing I couldn't have. They would be wrong. Innocence is something I
will never have again, and so I want her. At least that's what I try to
tell myself, but it isn't that simple. It's not just her innocence that
attracts me. It's her sharp mind and her fiery spirit.
She is one of the few people in Smallville who can match wits with me and
challenge me intellectually. She has spirit that will not be dimmed, and I
admire that. I admire her. I just hope that one day I can at least tell her
My fear is that if I tell her how I fell she might say that she feels the
same. That she cares about me, and wants us to be together. I know that I
can't refuse Chloe anything she might ask of me. If she asked me to give us
a chance to be together I would. And then I would end up hurting her, or
destroying her like my father destroyed my mother. I will not let that
happen, so I will never tell Chloe that I love her.