Disclaimer: Don't own Peacemaker. Wish I did. ;.;

*~*~*

Mixed Emotions

Prologue

*~*~*

Sano's eyes lit up as another crackle of fireworks exploded in the night sky. Shinpachi chuckled at his friend's child-like reaction, sipping his sake with his good hand.

Heisuke smiled over at the largest of his two friends, shaking his head softly before standing up. Forcing a yawn out that didn't look too fake, he stretched before turning to his friends. "Saa, I'm going to turn in. I'm still tired from these past few days. 'Yasumi Shinpattsuan, Sano." Giving a nod, he stepped out of the room.

Sano shrugged and grabbed his bowl of snacks, muttering something about wasting good food. He didn't even notice Shinpachi quietly exiting the room behind Heisuke.

"Oi, Heisuke...!" Shinpachi started, catching the other's attention. In return, Heisuke turned around, arching his brows in reply. "I need to talk to you..."

Heisuke's eyes narrowed in slight concern as he nodded, moving back toward the smaller man. "What's up, Shinpattsuan?"

"It's about Ikeda-ya..." Shinpachi began, putting his hands together. How was he going to say this? That he was thoroughly pissed with Heisuke's actions? Maybe, but that wasn't what he was really feeling. Sure, he was mad. He wanted to beat the crap out of the younger man and then let Sano sit on him for a few hours. But what was more unnerving was... he had been.. scared.

Heisuke sighed, running a hand over the bandages on his head. "Look, Shinpachi, I'm sorry I didn't thank you mo-"

"That's not it."

Heisuke stopped, blinking and tilted his head down at the short red-head. Then smaller man's words had been sharp. "Then what...?"

Shinpachi closed his eyes tightly, a pained look fleeting across his child-like face. It was quickly replaced by one of anger. Disappointment. "What were you *thinking* back there, Heisuke? Your actions were so *stupid*! You could have gotten yourself killed. What if... What if I hadn't been there? What if I hadn't been fast enough?"

"Shinpachi..."

"You could have DIED!" Shinpachi nearly shouted. Heisuke's voice caught in his throat. The Second Captain's eyes were glossy. He was holding back tears; tears that he had caused. Was the man that angry? Or was he upset? Or Scared? Scared... The mere thought that he had hurt his friend so much made him shiver slightly.

"Shinpachi... I'm sorry. I know I acted rash.. but we *are* in a war. People die."

"Yeah, but you're not supposed to be one of them." Shinpachi muttered bitterly. Again his voice was sharp, like needles. Heisuke winced. "You're a captain, Heisuke. People depend on you. And then you go out and do something like that." He stepped forward, hands clenching. "You're such an idiot!"

Bam. That hurt. "H-Hey... Shinpattsuan..."

"I'm not done." Shinpachi snarled, grabbing Heisuke and pushing him back until the taller man hit the wall. "What you did back there was so entirely stupid that even SANO cannot compare. I hope you're happy with the scar you got. Maybe it will remind you of what almost happened that day."

"Is this what you came to tell me? That I'm a moron?" Heisuke inquired sharply. He was slowly regaining his confidence, even with Shinpachi at his throat. "Lemme tell you something, Shinpattsuan. I know what I did back there. We all have to take chances. If I had died, then I died. I don't see what you're getting so wrapped up about. Thanks for saving me, OK? But if you're going to get on my case, then maybe you should have just let me die."

Shinpachi froze at those words, his face caught in one of horror at such a thought. Just as Heisuke assumed, the smaller man was hiding his fear with anger. He'd done it several times before. Heisuke's eyes widened when Shinpachi raised his fist to hit him. It waivered for a moment, before the smaller man hung his head, releasing a shuddered sob. Gently, Heisuke reached up and grabbed Shinpachi's hand, pulling it back down. He knew it hurt Shinpachi's pride for him to break down like this, so he said nothing and offered even less. No matter how much it hurt.

Shinpachi finally took a shuddered breath, pulling back and releasing Heisuke. Not looking up, he mumbled an apology. Heisuke's eyes softened as he let go of the other's hand. He hated seeing his friend like this; it hurt him so much. Shinpachi meant a lot to him -more than either of them knew. Hesitantly, he reached out and touched Shinpachi's cheek. The shorter man jerked some, but didn't pull his face away. Cautiously, he cupped his cheek, thumb brushing over fair skin dotted with freckles, brushing away tears at the edges of his lashes. "Shinpattsuan..."

Shinpachi had closed his eyes. He wasn't sure what he was feeling at the moment, but he was just so overwhelmed. What if he hadn't been fast enough? One second later and Heisuke could have been mortally wounded or dead. There would be no more comedian three. There would be no more rash jokes about Okita being gay. He wouldn't be here to cause trouble. He wouldn't be here caressing his cheek like it were something to treasure. He wouldn't be here to tell him it was going to be OK... "Heisuke."

"Shh. What happened, happened. I promise to be more careful, OK?" When the smaller man nodded, he stepped forward, looking down at him. Shinpachi still had his eyes closed, holding back any tears that threatened to fall. Leaning down, he brushed his lips against the fair skin of the Second Captain's forehead. Just as quickly as he had kissed him, he withdrew, momentarily lingering, before pulling his hand away and turning back to go to his room. He had no idea what posessed him to do *that*. Sure, he was a little odd, but he'd never really done anything that could be considered affectionate like that. Really, Shinpachi was his friend. His best friend. His... hell, almost his everything. Did he really think so much of one man? Shaking his head, he rid himself of these troublesome contemplations and pulled his yukata around him tighter as he neared the end of the hall.

Without looking back, he murmured quietly. "Oyasumi, Shinpattsuan."

Tsuzukeru...

*~*~*

AN: End of Prologue. Not much of a story for starters, but it's pretty good if you ask me. R&R would be nice. Love feedback, that I do.

**Ignore the grammar, I do**

Phoe-chan