A Week From the Journal of Wavedancer

Sunday:

I wonder if the courts would ever give me emancipation from my father. He's more of a child than I am. You know there's something wrong when the kids are the adults. Do you know what he did today? Well, we were over at the X-Mansion and he was, of course, hitting on Storm. The usual results happened and the rest of the story picks up in the X-Geeks med lab. While Beast was patching up my father, Multiple came in and told my father that Storm just left on a date. It seems she met this guy named Cam at a museum a couple weeks ago and she's been dating him ever since. This upsets my father, of course, so what do you think he did? Come on, take your best guess. No, he didn't throw a hissy fit. No, he didn't follow them. What he did was contract the Triplets to construct a torture device for Cam. He's going to torture Storm's new boyfriend. It would be one thing if he was doing it himself, but no! He contracted my sisters, the most psychotic people ever to live! I wonder if General Hawk would ever agree to lock my father up in solitary. He is now officially a danger both to himself and to others. He is encouraging my sisters, his daughters, to use dynamite and nitroglycerin. If reincarnation is real, I really must have been Hannibal Lector in my past life. I need to cheer up. I think I'll go pay my Toddles a visit. We can watch Wanda's slideshow tape of Beach Head together. Or maybe he'd agree to a little love session. Yeah, I like option two better. Time to go see Toddles!

Monday:

I'm related to sociopaths. I overheard more of Operation Cam-Gone. I think my little sisters are actively plotting the poor man's death. Not just a humiliation and slightly painful revenge. In addition to the dynamite and nitroglycerin, they also ordered a ton of marbles, rat poison, and something they'd refer to only as the piece de resistance. I should get help from the others to stop this. I want Dad to feel better, but I don't think that Cam needs to die to get his due. You see, I have a better plan to break up Cam and Storm. I say that we find a way to hypnotize her and then make it so whenever she looks at Cam, she really sees my father. So when Cam hits on her, Storm will think it's Dad and zap him. And that's all it takes for everyone to be able to say Bye-bye Cam! But will they listen to the sane one in the family? No! But my Toddles is being very supportive during this trying time. He's the only one who understands the severity of the situation! I love that man, I really do. He is the sweetest person alive. Not to mention the cutest. Have I ever told you that he has the cutest butt? I think it's time to go pay him another visit…

Tuesday:

General Hawk reported that the base is missing a couple rocket launchers. Five will get you ten that the Triplet's took them. Lifeline also announced that someone stole his Barry Manilow and Neil Diamond CDs. His first instincts said that Carly took them, but then he remembered that she wouldn't go near those CDs with a ten-foot pole. So our Medic is now in a state of distress (full on crocodile tears) at the loss. You know who I think took them? That's right, my insane sisters. This machine is going to be deadly! Explosives, rocket launchers, and BARRY MANILOW! No one deserves that kind of torture! Well, maybe my entire family (with the exception of myself and the poor innocent babies.) Threats don't seem to deter them this time. I need some help. I have Toddy on my side, but whom else could I get?

Wednesday:

That's the last straw! They stole Barney's wiffle bat! They crossed a line now! He's been crying for three straight hours and he doesn't show any signs of stopping! How could a person be so cruel as to steal a baby's favorite toy? Oh, look at that. He stopped. Toddles just found the bat underneath the couch. Oops, my bad. But the girls are still insane!

Thursday:

The government sucks. I called up the FBI, the CIA, and the Secret Service and they just laughed at me! How could they not take me seriously? My sisters are going to kill a man using explosives and easy listening! I bet they would have taken me seriously if I had told them that my sisters were mutants. But I'm not going to start another anti-mutant wave. There's enough of them going on all the time anyway without this being used as propaganda. But I now have help from Xi and Adam in addition to my Toddles. Wanda said she'd help but since the machine that's being built (whatever it is) has explosives in it, we figured that it'd be safer for all involved if she remained uninvolved. She pointed out that Adam could also accidentally discharge his light manipulations and create a lightbolt that could act the same way as her hexbolts, so Adam has been discharged from this little mission, too. So it's three against four. Six if you count Barry and Neil. This is one war I'm determined to win. Now if only we could get to that machine, everything would work out. But we need to find where they're building it, first. I need to go visit my Toddles for a little "strategy session."

Friday:

What is it with people laughing at me over the phone? I called Cam to warn him what was going to happen to him and he laughed at me. I know I sound a tad nutty telling people about this, but that doesn't make it any less true! Why can't they at least consider that I may be telling the truth? I'd call Storm and warn her but I don't want my father to die a horrible, painful death. And that would happen if Storm finds out. I heard the insane posse talking about the machine being finished and tomorrow being the day to set it off. We need to work fast to stop it. We just need to find out where it's going to happen. We can get there first and shut the thing down. The only good thing that's coming out of this is that Dad and the Triplets are bonding. But as good as that is, it's also that scary. Who knows what they'll come up with next? We went to Psyche Out. He refuses to go near this little problem. It's now official. My family is beyond psychiatric help. Heaven help the world.

Saturday:

My father finally got himself a girlfriend! So, yeah, I'd say that today was eventful. The torture on Cam didn't go as planned (I love my invisible friend! Xi removed the explosives.) Storm injured my father, of course. And I fully encouraged it. Cam dumped Storm because of her insane associates. We were banned from the X-Mansion for a week (I give it two days before we're back over there anyway.) Lifeline threw a party upon the return of his music collection. It turns out that Bree gave the CDs to the girls (she says she wanted a break from having to listen to them.) And my Dad has met someone else. You see, I sent him to a bar to drown his sorrows. I hate it when he gets drunk, but I couldn't think of anything else to make him feel better (and he was driving me nuts with his whining.) So I had the other adults take him out for a few drinks at the nearest bar that was open (not many are at one in the afternoon.) According to the story that we were told, while at the bar they saw this lady. Cover Girl kept mamblng on something about Krystal Carey from All My Children. I know that name should strike a cord (after all, she, Carly, and Adam make us watch it every weekday or for five hours on Sunday, depending on which would work better with our schedules.) Anyway, the point is this Krystal person is kind of from the wrong side of the tracks and is a bit trashy with a phony southern accent (not entirely unlike Rogue, come to think of it.) So this lady reminds Cover Girl of this Krystal chick. But I'm not going to complain. As long as my dad doesn't get zapped for a while and there's a lady that will give him the time of day, I'll be ecstatic! Maybe this woman will be good for him. Yeah, I know, keep dreaming Althea! Oh no…I just remembered what Dad was like last time he had a girlfriend. I walked in on them doing the horizontal mambo in the living room in the middle of the day. Then he sent me bra shopping with her. And they say that history repeats itself…oh I'm in trouble!