The Child Inside

Author: pratz

Disclaimer: Gundam Seed and its characters respectfully belong to Sunrise. The lyric of Woman belongs to John Lennon we all shine on, John!. I own nothing but the plot, the silly dialogues and the OOCness, and the poor writing skill no proof-reader for this one.

Notes: I welcome every critics and sportive flames. Want me to write more ‘bout ‘em? Feel free to mail me.

p.s.: this is not a New Year fic, but HAPPY NEW YEAR anyway!

Woman, I hope you understand

The little child inside the man

John Lennon, Woman

Come on, Cagalli, you can do it. You can do this. You know you can...

She had repeated those rhetorical words in her head over and over, silently praying to Haumea to grant her pray. It’s kind of silly and ridiculous, she knew.

You’re brave. You’re brave. You’re br—

Suddenly, a pair of warm palms was covering her eyes. “Guess who?”

Being the fighter herself, she instantly grabbed the wrist of the palms before her eyes and pulled the owner aside. Quickly, she snapped out from her shock... only to find the man she was waiting for there.

“Hey.”

Beside her, right beside her, was standing Athrun Zala with all his glory. Wearing a white coat, red-wine turtle neck, and a pair of gray pants, he still as gorgeous as the first time she met him. Silken bluish hair, firm, well-built form soldiers normally had, and a pair of green eyes she loved so much.

Well, maybe except one thing. His hair was now longer that he kept it in a loose ponytail.

She remembered the first time he had appeared with that ponytail. ‘You look girly,’ she had said that time, yet she kinda liked it.

“Hey yourself. You really got the scare out of me, Athrun. It that a habit of yours to startle someone or just a hobby you get to enjoy upon me?”

“None of them, I think,” he smiled. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“You’re a damn bad li—” she paused as he kept on staring at her, smiling. “Athrun! Stop that, will you?!”

“Stop what?”

“Staring at me, what else do you think?”

“But I like to,” he resisted stubbornly. “Okay, Cagalli. Here, I’m sorry I was late. I’m sorry too for startling you—though I think you have all the pleasure, pulling me like that.” He chuckled a bit. “But then why do you think I want you to come here and meet me, anyway?”

“Besides of the war things?”

“Yes.”

“Uuh—the MS needs reparation again?”

“Cagalli,” he warned her silently. “I’m not a yesterday boy. You know why.”

“Okay, okay, I know! I’m sorry! I know why very well! You know what, I told Kira before I came here, and he’s laughing! My own brother! Laughing at me! That traitor! Well, not only that—Lacus also did! She even said that I was being childish to be afraid of just a date! Only a date, Athrun! And whe—” all so sudden, she clamped her mouth shut. “Guess I was being reckless once again, ne?”

His smile grew even wider at her shy, sheepish smile. “I think it’s cute.”

She blushed and he laughed softly.

“Now you’re even cuter, Cagalli.”

“Why you—you—Athrun!” she could hardly find anything to say, slapping his arm not so hard to make him hurt.

But, after all, he would not be the captain of ZAFT’s Special Unit for nothing. As an ace pilot, he was trained to read beyond everything and to react to anything after—and to conquer a lady wasn’t an exception, anyway.

He didn’t have to say anything. Reaching his hand out to her, he smiled when she blushed even deeper and took his hand in hers.

They were walking side by side on the pathway at the park. Athrun had one of his hands held Cagalli’s casually while the other was inside his pant’s pocket. Once she stopped by to point at a group of children playing at the playground, laughing openly when one of the boys made a funny expression or did things so innocently.

Oh how he missed to be a child once again.

He remembered those days when he was younger, when he and Kira were still in the elementary school in Moon. They’re the best partner in every way at school. Though Kira was older than him—five months exactly, he—being the more mature one—would always be the one who used to standing up when another kids bullied Kira. He smiled when the memories of him standing before Kira, holding a branch to fight against the brats, while Kira was near to cry behind him with Kira’s hand grasp his sleeve tightly.

“Athrun? What’s so funny?”

“Hmm?”

“’Hmm’ what? Listen, here you are; smiling like an idiot. The others are really going to think you’re crazy indeed. A highly advanced and well-trained Gundam pilot is crazy. Imagine that.”

“Cagalli, you’re exaggerating things. I was just thinking about the past when Kira and I were still in the Moon.”

“Care to tell me?”

He shrugged. “Why not?” he walked toward the set of swings in the left end of the playground. “Sit?”

“Here?” she pointed the place he had sat on.

“Yes, here. Why? You don’t want to?”

“Athrun, it’s a swing!”

“It is. So?”

“So?”

“So what?” he pulled her to sit beside him. The swing actually could be used by two children, but it’s not big enough to accommodate two adult at once. Suspiciously, she eyed him started swinging himself. “Come on, Cagalli.”

“You know that some children definitely will come here, don’t you?”

“I know.”

“And some people will really, really think that you are childish indeed?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And don’t you think you’re too old to swing like this?”

“You’re talking as if I’m doing a crime, Cagalli. I’m not stealing any candies or peeping-tom a kissing couple, anyway.”

“Gosh,” she sighed and rubbed her temple in mocking attitude. “Even Kira’s not this childish.”

A bittersweet smile crept onto his mouth. “Can’t I? I didn’t spend my childhood playing much, anyway.”

His face was still calm and his smile was still there, yet from the slight tremble from his voice she already knew what he had felt.

He started swinging again. This time, the rhythm was much slower than the first time. The swing creaked softly due to Athrun’s motion. So melancholic, she mused. She hated this.

She had just forgotten who he was, who Athrun Zala was. She knew, unlike Kira and the others, his childhood were very much harsher. She couldn’t find any other word to replace the word ‘harsh’ she used to describe Athrun’s life, though.

He knew what she thought of his life because he had told her everything. And he didn’t do anything to refuse her choosing of words. He once said, “’If your life is a rough bed of brambles and nails, what could be the best to name but harsh?’

“Cagalli.” His soft voice called her back from the musing.

“I’m sorry.”

“You did nothing,” he smiled to reassure her. He patted the swing beside the one he’d used to sit and this time she did as he said. “Welcome to the world of innocence.”

“Tell me, Athrun.”

“What about?”

“The time when you and Kira were still on the Moon.”

“Oh.” he swung, making the swing squeaked again. “It was when we’re playing on a playground like this. Kira’s on the swing and I was behind him. Then a group of boys—our upperclassmen, I think—came. They wanted to use the swing and started shoving Kira aside.”

“Now... let me guess. Kira began to cry, didn’t he? And you acted as a hero like always, right?”

“Yes to the first of your questions,” Athrun pushed his bangs to the very top of his skull, raking the silken locks to the side of his neck, his ponytail was blown by the soft wind. She found herself blushing as he did the graceful motion. “Cagalli?”

“Stop that! You’re teasing me!”

“What? Who tease who?”

“Now you’re having an act, Mr. I’m-so-damn-innocent,” she grumbled. “Sometimes I can’t help but feel like I want to burst up upon you.”

He laughed and stood, leaving his swing to stand behind her. “All Coordinators are idiot, aren’t they?” he put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her to swing. “Well, actually I wasn’t the hero that time—Kira instead.”

“Kira!”

“Hey, he’s not that hopeless. He even kicked a brat on the guts. But since they were superior in numbers, Kira got a black on his eye. And that,” Athrun chuckled, “was the time he started crying.”

She laughed too. “And you couldn’t stand it.”

He pushed again. “Fortunately I found a branch nearby. Thanks to it your nii—”

“Athrun.” She warned him almost dangerously.

“—san was saved.” Athrun continued carelessly.

Cagalli raised her head, gazing upward to glare furiously at him. “I told you. Kira couldn’t be my elder brother. He’s my younger brother.”

“I know, I know.”

Angrily, she stood facing him. “Really, Athrun, that’s not funny.” And she forced him to sit on the swing she’s sitting on before. Instead of doing the same like he had done to her before, she leaned her elbows on his shoulders and whispered, “This is nice, isn’t it?”

“Aa.”

“Honestly, Athrun, I rarely see you talk so much like a while ago,” She grinned. “I like it.”

“Thank you,” he leaned aback, resting his head on her stomach and closing his eyes, her hand stroking his hair. “You know, I miss being a child. I miss the time when I and Kira were only kids. I miss playing in the playground. I miss to be just an ordinary boy,” he laughed—which was sounded rather strange even on his own ears. “Sorry. I don’t know why I’m saying all of these.”

She could imagine that inside his head the memories of his late mother and father were beginning to replay. The bitterness of war, the death, and the misery came along with them. And, as if they’re not enough yet, he got a penalty from the army due to his desertion—in this case by joining Archangel, because unlike Kira, he was officially a soldier. After that, some Naturals made the life even harder for him only because he’s a Zala, only because he’s the son of a man who once was ZAFT’s top Chairman and Representative. And she understood all. She herself felt and experienced the same things. She knew him all too well.

Suddenly, his cell-phone beeped. He pulled out his mobile phone from the pocket inside his coat and talk, giving her a silent code to say ‘sumimasen’. After a while, he ended the call and shoved the device back to his pocket.

“Who?”

“Director Simmons. Work things.” Athrun sighed heartily. “Sorry.”

“I understand. Heck, I really think that being a child is the best event in my life.” Change the topic, Cagalli. You’re not here to muse over the things you’ve lost or else, she reminded herself silently. Moving closer, she placed a kiss on his cheek. “It’s a good thing to ever have been one.”

“I really, really miss being a kid.”

“Hey, stop that. You’re not even twenty anyway,” She poked his nose softly. “But, what could I expect from a boy that’s an official mobile suit pilot when he’s only fifteen and had his first kiss when he’s sixteen, huh?”

“You’re stepping on thin ice, Cagalli. Do you prefer me to not kiss you that time? Well...”

“Athrun!” her cheeks reddened and he laughed a bit. “It’s not like that!”

“Sure, sure. Trust me, I know.”

“Why do I feel like you’re turning the table, Athrun Zala-san?”

“I guess it’s a family trait then,” he gazed up and put his palm on her nape, “for you and Kira to act so free openly.”

“It’s you who is too mature, old man.”

“Old man? Don’t forget, I’m younger than you two, Cagalli.” He brushed her lips with his own and pulled back in a swift. “But you’re right, I’m mature. And I don’t regret it.”

“Humour me, please.”

He stood up and brought her hand to his lips, kissing the back of her palm affectionately. She had lost to count how many times she’s been blushing today. Damn him for being able to make her feel like this. And damn him for making her love him more and more.

“It’s good to be a child, ne,” he smiled, releasing her hand but not letting it go at all. “But it’s even better to be happy.”

“Are you?”

“Hey, I am happy,” he showed her that perfect smile once again. “You make me happy.”

“Teaser,” she elbowed him on the arm. “You’re getting cornier day by day, you know that?”

He let out a laugh. “But you like it, don’t you? I only get corny in front of you. In front of the other people, I’m still the silent Athrun Zala.”

“Yeah. The perfect one.”

“Quit it. Let’s get a lunch. The lady gets the honour to choose, of course. My trait.”

“If it so...” she tiptoed beside him and reached around his head. All of sudden, without warning her fingers worked their way to pull the knot that held his hair in place. The now-shoulder length strands spilled freely onto his shoulders.

“Cagalli, give it back!” he yelped, but she’s already steps ahead, running from him.

“I told you it made you look girly!”

“But Cagalli, I’ve grown my hair long even before I join the military!”

“That’s why I told you so! You look even better without it!”

“Cagalli, you...” willingly, he ran after her. The sound of laughter soon followed the two Coordinators as they ran one after another through the park, not taking any heed to care that the people were watching them. Some children even ran beside Athrun, making a long trail of persons. They really looked like they were still in the happiest moment of childhood. “I’ll get you for this. I’ll really get you, Cagalli. Wait for me!”

At that time, he knew that somehow, he still had the child’s happiness inside Athrun Zala he was now.

Footnote:

Haumea, a goddess of fertility and childbirth of a particular Polynesia’s myth—I don’t know any details. Seems like the people in Orb have Polynesian culture.

From No Frontiers by The Corrs, their best song ever!

Quotes from Cagalli, from eps. 42 Lacus Jyatsugeki when she and Athrun watched the scene between Lacus and Kira.

The ‘younger or elder’ part is coming from eps.48 Ikari no Hi before they kissed.