Disclaimer: I don't own it. Don't suuuuuuuuuuuuuue!
Story: The show except with twists and turns. And with Usagi and Crawford. Hectic days follow.
Set after somewhere. I don't really know at the moment.
Spoilers: A little bit.
Warnings: Ahem…
Pairings: Usagi/Crawford

My Obnoxious, Irritating Fiancé
Day 3

Usagi was getting irritated. It was about 10 o'clock and she was hungry. However, Crawford was refusing to let go. He was still asleep and she was so not waiting for him to get up on his own. "Get up! Come on! I'm huuuuungry…onegai, wake up. I need to get some food here." She gave a sigh and tried something she knew was not going to work. That is, if he really is sleeping.

She blew a raspberry at him. Not really effective, but she needed a way to blow some steam. He was still asleep.

Maybe if she tickled him or something. Incidentally, she thought of her cat back home, Luna. Boy would she be pissed. In remembering Luna, Usagi automatically went to scratch the Luna's ears. She forgot, though, that Luna wasn't there. So, instead she was scratching Crawford behind an ear.

She heard a purring, really unlike Luna's. She blinked and realized it was Crawford making the noise. He was purring and reacting to her scratching. She raised her eyebrows and continued.

She was wondering how such simple an act made Crawford look so adorable. Not that she was interested or something…

She grinned, "Oh kitty kat…you like that, don't you? Ohhh. How cute you are. Wakey, wakey. Time to gets some delicious food, kitty kat." He woke up and blinked confusedly and angrily at her. He turned to his side, "Kitty kat? I'm no kitty kat…no siree. I'm a grown boy…" she heard him mutter. And he went back to sleep. She wondered if Crawford actually knew he said that. She figured not as that would have made him look like a complete fool. Well, he does that everyday so maybe he does.

Who cares? She just wanted some food.

---

Anita came while Crawford and Usagi had just finished breakfast. "Hello you two! I have some good news…and bad news."

Usagi immediately froze. Her smile stayed fixated on her face. "Wha-what is it?" Her voice was so soft. The others in the room were suddenly reminded of a quote, 'the calm before the storm.'

Anita spoke slowly, afraid of an outburst. "Yes, one of your friends is coming." Usagi gave out a sigh. "So one of his friends is coming. That's okay." Anita and Crawford shared a look. "No, Usagi…I said that it was one of your friends is coming. That means he/she could be from either one of you two."

Usagi gave a very harsh, maniacal laugh. "But of course, it'll be one of mine. It always is. Tell me, who?" To say that the other two were freaked out was an understatement. "Na-Naru…I hope that's okay with you…"

"Of course. It's very fine."

As soon as she said that she started for upstairs. Anita and Crawford shared another look and she was about to follow Usagi.

However, before she could take another step, water was heard running. They hurried upstairs and into Usagi's room. They saw her plunge her head into the sink and it look like she was screaming from all the air bubbles. Then she jerked her head and took a deep breath. After that, she plunged her head back in. This process was repeated several times before Anita tried to do something.

"Err…Usagi! Calm down. Naru won't be coming until later on. Relax, you've got the whole day to get prepared." Anita saw that she had calmed down Usagi a little bit and became relieved.

"Why don't you get relaxed? I'm sure I'll call you later on when she's arrived. And that won't be until tonight." Usagi nodded and went to her bedroom. Anita and Crawford went out of the room to give her a bit of privacy and climbed back down the stairs to have a little talk on their plans.

Usagi felt better than she had ever been during this whole ordeal. She was in her bathing suit and was ready to try out the swimming pool that she had been wanting to try.

---

She slipped off her robe and dived in. It felt refreshing not only to be outside, but also to be in a calm environment. She swam around a little and did a couple dives down to the bottom before she got out. What she didn't notice was that a certain problem of hers had taken her robe and had hurried inside.

When she had notice the robe missing, she shrugged and walked towards the door. However, the door wouldn't budge. She tugged and tugged, but still. She tried all the doors and it seemed like she was stuck outside when she was at the last door and it opened. She smiled and went inside.

She blinked and realized this was the sauna. Usagi became suspicious and looked around as she stepped closer inside. The door creaked closed and Usagi whirled around to see it shut. She hurried towards it and tried to pry it open. It wouldn't shift.

She became nervous as there was steam all around and the heat was beginning to make her sweat. She cursed her bad luck and she started to lean against a wall she had found. She rubbed the sweat all over as it was beginning to feel sticky staying in just one place. Her eyes roamed all over the place, expecting a serial killer to come out. Damn the times she watched all those Freddy, Jason, etc. movies.

She jumped when she heard breathing. She closed her eyes and started a mental mantra. 'This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not –'

She opened her eyes to discover Crawford grinning at her. She had felt someone plop next to her and had felt that breathing on her neck. She glared at him and started yelling. "What do you think you're doing? Ugh! I can't even relax without you coming to disturb me. I was having such a good day. And you ruined it!"

She continued to glare at him and she turned on her heel. She walked away and then realized that she didn't know where the door out was. "Hey dirtbag! Where's the exit?" Crawford pouted and said, "Such harsh words. Are you really that angry with me? I'm so sorry, love."

"Cut that out. I don't want you calling me love. Now where is the exit?" She was beginning to get impatient. "Alright, follow me."

He led them around until Usagi was sure they were back at the same spot. Agitated, she said, "Are you doing this on purpose? Get real! I want to go back inside. It's getting stuffy in here. I'm suffocating." He rolled his eyes.

"Look, I was sure that I knew the way. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that we are now lost. Stupid steam. Can't even turn that off until we're inside the house…" He began to walk again and Usagi continued to frown unhappily at his back.

Actually, Usagi did feel faint. She hurried up to Crawford, but she didn't quite make it. Her eyes rolled into her head and she fell forward. "We're almost there I think. Just a bit – Usagi!" He hurried over to her and checked her pulse. Strong.

He assumed that the heat got to her. It was getting to him as well. They really did need to get out of there. First, he needed her up. Awake at the least.

He shook her gently until she regained consciousness. "Wha-what? What happened?" Crawford shook his head and picked her off the ground. "What are you doing? I can walk, you know…"

"Just stay awake, okay? And I'll carry you just in case, so stop complaining."

She pouted even worse than he did earlier and put her arms around his neck. She lent her head against his shoulder and relaxed. "It's really hot…where are we again?" Crawford shook his head again. "It doesn't matter. Just stay awake."

"Whatever."

They went around until they were sure they would never get out. Very soon, they both plopped to the ground. Usagi stayed on Crawford's lap for a while. She snuggled her head into his shoulder and started to fall asleep. However, she remembered Crawford making her promise not to fall asleep. She gave out a sigh and crawled off his lap and sat next to him.

Crawford on the other hand, missed her presence as soon as she had left. "What are we going to do? We can't find the way out and if we stay the overheating will kill us." Usagi very much wanted to live. It just seemed like there was no other choice though. She was getting tired again. She lent her head on his shoulder and was about to give into the temptation of sleep when she felt Crawford put his head on top of hers. That is until the door they had been looking for all along swung open right next to them. They saw Anita, but it didn't matter. They scrambled to get out of there and they didn't even bother standing up. The quickly crawled out and into fresh air. Oh it felt so good to be in that mansion again.

To Usagi, from coming into the sauna from the outside and coming onto the other side into the mansion was an experience that made her want to forget about the sauna for a while.

To Crawford, as he had come into the sauna from the mansion's side, no longer wanted to explore the sauna that he had heard was huge.

They both gulped down deep breaths of air. Anita raised an eyebrow at them and they ignored her. "I never want to go inside there again…" Usagi made the statement as dramatic as she could, falling onto her back. Crawford nodded his head in agreement.

"So, you guys had fun?"

"Anita, shut up." Both said in unison.

"Just came to tell you that you have half an hour to get ready."

Usagi sat upright. "What! We've been in that oven for how long? No way. Last time I checked, it was only 2'o clock."

Anita winced. "Well, you see, it's 7:30."

Usagi groaned and got up. She stomped towards the stairs and before she went up, turn and stuck her tongue at them. The she continued on her way.

Anita raised an eyebrow again and Crawford smirked. "Kawaii," was all he said.

---

Everything was fixed and ready. In fact, Usagi had already met up with Naru. It was a happy reunion. Usagi and Naru had a chance to catch up with each other. Even when Usagi dropped the bomb on Naru that she was getting married, it was handled well.

Usagi knew she had Naru convinced that she was truly in love. Now all that was needed was for Naru to meet Crawford. Dear Lord, have mercy…

And here he came…

Usagi winced waiting for the inevitable. He never failed to disappoint her. As soon as he came he walked over to Usagi and gave her a peck on the lips. Her left eye twitched.

Crawford then walked over to Naru who had hearts in her eyes. He reached over to shake her hand when he knocked over a glass of water, which landed on Naru's blouse. "I'm very sorry. I'm a bit clumsy at times. Here let me help."

Naru shook her head, amazingly still with hearts in her eyes. "That's okay. I'm fine. No harm done."

As Crawford continued to help Naru clean up, Naru looked over to Usagi and winked. However, those hearts began to disappear as time wore on. Crawford made lewd jokes (probably got them from Schuldich), and spilled even more glasses (preferably on Naru…), and Naru noticed that Usagi's eye began to twitch even more than earlier.

"Err…Crawford-san. What's wrong with Usagi?" Crawford replied headily with, "Oh, she's on her period. Pretty grumpy, ain't she?" Usagi let out a great roar and grabbed her butter knife and started after Crawford, who realized that Usagi was going to castrate and murder him, had ran off. Naru ran after Usagi, in an effort to calm her down.

It took a long while for the commotion to stop. Crawford and Naru managed to tie her up and she still had that homicidal look in her eyes. Crawford managed to make a dirty joke even though he was had close to death. "Kinky. Maybe I should keep Usagi like that even after you leave. Ohh, maybe a threesome, ne?"

Naru smacked him upside the head and Usagi started to struggle even more from her restraints. "Okay, okay. No threesome…I'll just keep Usagi like that though."

Naru rolled her eyes. "You do that. Just not for the reasons you're thinking of. If you let her go, she's going to ravage you. And probably not the way you want it either…"

After that, Naru had to leave. Crawford was lying on the couch, legs propped up and over the other side. "So, Usagi. What are we going to do? You're tied up and I'm. Not."

Usagi glared at him from where she was restricted. He smirked back at her.

---

INTERVIEWS:

USAGI

One of these days, I'll kill him! He will die! DIE!

CRAWFORD

Hahahahaha! This is great. You know I was thinking of doing something like this when her family comes…

NARU

At first I was like, "Hell ya, Usa! You go girl!" Because she had this handsome guy and then he turns out to need a little work. I could see Usa got a little irritated. I'm not sure whether or not they're in love, but…all I have to say is, "No matter what, keep this man! If he gets irritating, smack him upside the head! For God's sake, he's probably one of the hottest men on Earth. Don't go giving that up, 'Sagi."

Ahem. That's all.

END INTERVIEWS

---

Anita came in to see a very unusual scene. Usagi was still tied up and Crawford was still lying down on the couch, this time on his side so that he was facing Usagi.

"Ahem, I have another surprise." You could see Usagi ranting off because her head was moving up and down and the gag couldn't hide the sounds coming from her mouth.

"Anno…you, ah, have to call your families and convinced them to come over."

And Usagi went off on another rant. The phone was out and Crawford was first. Usagi went quiet and listened intently.

"Hello?"

"Schuldich! Hello? How are you?"

"Cut the crap. What the hell do you want? And how was that reality show?"

"Ahem, I guess I'll just be blunt. I fell in love on the reality show and I want you and the rest of the guys to come over and meet her."

"…You serious? No shitting? Absolutely no shit at all? Holy crap. Hell yeah I'm coming. I'm dragging the others there whether they want to come or not. See you soon."

Crawford blinked and stared at the phone. He barely had to say anything. 'How weird. Schuldich still acted like his usual self, yet that didn't ruin my cover.'

"That went well. Okay Crawford, it's Usagi's turn." Usagi's eyes were wide with fright and she was shaking. Crawford pulled the gag down and held the phone to her ear. Anita dialed the number and they all waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello?"

"M-mom?"

"Hunny? Is that you? How was your vacation?"

"It was fine…listen Mom, is Dad there?" A new voice entered the conversation.

"I'm right here. What's wrong, angel? Did something happen? Your voice sounds shaky."

"Actually, I'm kind of nervous. I was on a reality show…"

"A reality show? Did you have fun?"

"It doesn't matter if she had fun! Usagi, dear, it wasn't one of those crappy shows like 'The Bachorlorette', was it?"

"Don't mind him, hunny. You know your father's very protective of you."

"Hai, Mother. Now Daddy…actually, it was. I-I-I'm in love with this one for real. I really really want you all to come and meet him. Is that okay"

"Is that okay! Is that okay! Hell no! But I'm definitely coming there. Hunny, you make sure he doesn't touch you."

"Da –"

"I'll kill him! I'll tear him apart! None of these boys deserve you! Besides, you're too young, dammit!"

"Da –"

"Angel, you're making a big mistake. You need to come home. I don't need to come there. You realize how ridiculous this is. I'll be waiting home for you, sweetie."

And Dad's line hung up.

"Sweetie? Mommy's still here. I'll talk with your dad. He's a bit in denial that you've grown up and that you can't stay single forever. We'll see you there."

Then Mom's line hung up.

Usagi stared wide-eyed at the phone. Then she let out a relax sigh. The other two were making sure that Tsukino-san didn't speed over to the mansion and was getting ready to murder the whole lot and drag Usagi home.

"That went better than I expected."

Crawford stared at Usagi. "Better? You mean he can get worse?"

"Oh yeah. Really worse."

---

INTERVEIWS:

USAGI

I don't know whether I want my dad to meet Crawford or not. I'm in-between. On one hand, Daddy can teach Crawford a lesson, on the other…I don't even want to go there. Daddy's a bit overprotective…

CRAWFORD

I'm scared. I admit it. Her dad sounds scary. Even more so than the Haruka person. A bit psychopathic, if you ask me…

But I sure I can handle him. (wink)

MOTHER

I do so hope that this man is what my baby wants. If he hurts her…he'll have to answer to a lot of people. But my baby has finally found her man! I feel so happy! I can't wait until I have my grandkids…I wonder when they are getting married…

FATHER

I'll kill him. I don't care who he is, if my daughter loves him or not, or whether he loves her, because I sure as hell won't let it happen. My baby ain't goin' to get married and she sure as hell is going to die a virgin…

END INTERVIEWS

---

The day was at its end and Crawford was carrying Usagi upstairs. Usagi was ranting whatever as the gag was put back on and no one could hear her.

Crawford grinned cheekily and pushed open the door to Usagi's room. He plopped her onto the bed and then he layed down himself. "Sure was a nice day, ne?" Usagi just wiggled under the restraints.

"Oyasumi, love." And Crawford leaned over and pecked her on the lips. Well, over the gag of course.

Usagi just started ranting off things louder and wiggling even more vehemently. Crawford just smirked at her and held her tight. He fell asleep still holding Usagi and Usagi looked like she was about to murder someone. Most preferably someone currently using her as a pillow.

Besides! If they would sleep in the same bed and just happen to cross the lines, it should be her using the other as a pillow!

---

Omi was laughing real hard. Ken choked on his food because of he was laughing too, but then he swallowed and pretended nothing happened. Omi shook his head. "You got to admit, this is really funny. If you forget that Crawford is an assassin and that he's our enemy, you can really get into the show. But if you do remember it, it's even more funny!"

Ken scowled before giving up. "Yeah, you're right. It is funny. I just can't get over the fact that it's Crawford."

Omi smirked. "Think of it as ironic humor."