Me: Okay People, here is another master piece from yours truly.

Randy: Aren't you becoming a tad bit egotistic!

Me: Okay, okay! A somewhat enjoyable story for the masses

Randy: Okay that's better!

---

The Taylor house was abuzz with excitement. Randy was due home from his Costa Rican expedition in a week. Tim was busy shopping around for a welcome home gift. Jill was preparing the welcome home feast. Brad and Mark were reluctantly cleaning up the house.

"Remind me," groaned Brad as he dug through the layers of filth covering Randy's bedroom floor, "Why I have to clean up your junk?"

"Because," Replied Mark, "this is your junk, not mine."

"Oh yeah," Brad retaliated. He pulled from under the bed a very filthy pair of red checked boxers. "Then how do you explain this?"

"Hey! I wondered where those were!" Mark exclaimed as he took his boxers and placed them in a pile of clothes that looked as though they hadn't seen soap in years. "And by the way I believe that the rest of this mess is yours." He finished, gathering up his mountain of dirty clothes.

"Hey! You can't just leave me here to finish cleaning up your crud!" Brad shouted as Mark stumbled through the door and up the stairs trying to see his way around his cargo.

"Oh yeah!" came Mark's muffled response, "Just watch me!"

---

Jill was busy in the kitchen mixing up the best meal she could. The counters were covered in cook books and various ingredients. On the stove, simmered and boiled pots and pans of food, their aromas filling the kitchen. Jill was seated at the dinner table, nose deep in a cook book titled "Goof proof Cooking."

Mark stumbled his way into the kitchen almost hidden behind clothes.

"Mom I need you to wash these." He groaned as he placed the monstrous pile right on top of the table.

"Mark!" Jill exclaimed as she put the book down.

"What?"

"You know what! I have a ton of stuff to do for Randy and the last thing I need is to be your personal maid." She replied sternly.

"So make time!"

"Are you implying that I drop everything I'm doing, regardless of how it affects others just to cater to your every whim?"

"Duh!"

"Okay, I'll do your laundry if you do me a favor. I need you to taste test all of my dishes."

"Okay! Okay!" Mark replied. "I'll wash my clothes, no need to threaten me!"

"My cooking's not that horrible, is it?"

"Let me put it this way, "Mark said as he gathered up his clothes. "You could kill a two-ton elephant with your calamari."

"Ha, ha." Jill replied sarcastically.

Mark grunted as he pushed his way through the garaged door.

"Why didn't you just make a second or third tip?' Jill asked as Mark finally shoved his way through.

"That would be impractical."

"And breaking your back lugging up a ton clothes isn't?"

---

Tim was browsing around Harry's Hardware, his favorite store. He had just gone to a few other stores and bought a few things He thought Randy might like for his coming home party. He had gotten a tee shirt that said "I am tree hugger" and a towel with a rain forest motif on it. Randy must be wet in a forest that rained all the time, right?

"Hey, Tim!" Al greeted him

"Hey Timmy!" Benny said

"How's my best customer!" Harry the owner said.

"Hey big bro" Marty said

"Hi guys."

"I heard that Jill's job in Indiana was a resounding success." Benny said "Tell her I give her my congrats."

"How about you wait till the party." Tim answered from the screwdriver section. "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Would you look at this screwdriver?" Tim came out from behind the shelf holding what appeared to be an oversized electric tooth brush. "400 Rpm and adjustable bits and a self modulating modulator."

"What's a self modulating modulator?" Benny asked

"Who knows," Tim replied, "but it sounds cool!"

"Yeah, those just came in this morning." Harry said, "Shall I put it on your bill?"

"Harry, You know me too well." said Tim as he placed the souped up screwdriver on the counter along with a very large power drill and a few cases of drill bits.

"Of course you'll need the screwdriver bits that aren't sold with it and maybe a few screws to go with it wouldn't hurt." Harry said as he rang up the items.

"Oh, screws, yeah" Tim grunted, "Need lots of screws to pulverize with my new screw driver." He quickly got the extras and added them to his purchase.

"So Timmy," Marty said as Harry put the tools in a bag. "How did you end up here from Indiana?"

"I thought I already told you that when you visited last time." Tim said taking the bag from Harry.

"You were going to but then a special on the History of Power Tools came on the Education Channel and you kind of trailed off."

"Oh yeah, I remember that. Great show can't wait for the sequel."

"Well I was enticed by the show before that, The Mating Habits of Hippos." Said Al.

"Brushing up on your family history I see." Tim joked

"Yeah," Marty added, "I thought I saw your mother on there, Al. wasn't she the one protecting her baby from the dangerous vultures?"

"Speaking of vultures," Harry chimed in." Delores has been nagging me to let he mother come for a visit. Like that's ever going to happen."

"Yeah, Mother-in-laws can be so annoying." Marty added again. "When I used to be married to Nancy, mine would come over every so often and I would find myself in the doghouse not knowing what hit me."

"My mother-law- happens to be very kind." Defended Al

"Yeah "kind" of creepy!" replied Marty.

"Tell me about it," Tim replied. "Every time I come over and she's there, I swear she tires to stare me to death."

"Could be because you're constantly making fun of her son-in-law." Al snorted

"Thank goodness I'm not married." Benny sighed, stuffing a doughnut in his mouth.

"Like anyone would marry you, Benny!" Harry teased.

"Any way," Marty said trying to get things back on track. "How did you end up here?"

"Jill impressed her superiors so much they gave her the opportunity to relocate back here once they hand the branch offices built."

"Oh." Said Benny. "I always wondered what happened."

"You always wonder what happened." Marty laughed.

"Well Guys, got to get back home and create havoc with my new toys!" Tim said as he walked out the door.

"See ya!" They all replied.

"Tim arrived home just in time to find Mark lugging the largest load of dirty clothes he had ever seen through the garage door.

"Why didn't you just make a second or third tip?' Jill asked as Mark finally shoved his way through.

"That would be impractical."

"And breaking your back lugging up a ton clothes isn't?"

"Honey, why is Mark caring Mount Laundry to the garage?" Tim asked as he collected the three bags of tools and the two bags of Randy's gifts, and lugged them into the house.

"Because he didn't want to taste my cooking." Jill answered. "How come you're lugging all that stuff in at once and not make a trip or two?"

"Because Honey, that would be impractical." Tim responded

---

Brad angrily tramped upstairs in search of his younger brother. How dare he leave me to clean up his mess, Brad thought as he reached the door. I mean I am his older brother and you should always respect your elders. He flung open the door and took a deep breath.

"MARK!" Brad shouted at the top of his lungs. Get your dorky self down here and finish cleaning up your mess!"

"Hey what's all the commotion about?" Jill asked

"Mark's shirking his responsibility." Brad answered

"Mark is this true?"

"Heck no, you just saw me bring up that load of laundry."

"Big deal," Brad said as he looked at his watch.

"Yeah it is a big Deal. I cleaned up my mess and you haven't done your part." Mark angrily replied.

"My mess! I believe it's your mess!" Brad retorted

"Boys, boys," Jill said, "Dose it really matter whose mess it is?"

"YES!" they replied in unison.

"Then just take half the room each and clean it, its not that difficult."

"What ever. Listen I got practice to go to." Brad said.

"And I have to get to karate lessons." Mark said.

"Do it after words." Jill said glad they resolved the issue.

"Fine."

"Fine"

And with that the two boys raced of to there rooms to get collect their things.

---

Me: Finally, done with that chapter...

Randy: And when do I come in exactly?

Me: Next chapter.

Randy: Cool beans!