Title: Two Days

Author: Angel Leviathan

Spoilers: Anything, everything.

Season: Early Season 7

Disclaimer: SG-1 isn't mine.

Notes: Random yet again! I had an argument much like this with a friend earlier and got some of this barked at me! You win, Laura! :::hugs:::

"You're sick, aren't you?"

"…No."

"Liar."

"I'm fine!"

"Liar."

"I. Am. Fine."

"Liar!"

She grit her teeth and glared down the phone. Like that was going to her any good. Leaning away from the handset, she sniffed, before starting again, "I'm perfectly well."

"I heard you sniff," he stated.

"…Dust in the air," Sam tried.

"Liar."

"SIR!"

"CARTER!" Jack shouted back at her, trying not to laugh.

"I'm fine! I don't have a choice! I have a tonne of work to do that isn't going to get itself done and-"

"Can the other lab guys do any of it?" he proposed.

She pondered this for several seconds, "…Maybe."

"Is that a yes?" Jack prompted.

"…Possibly…Sir…"

"I'm taking that as a yes, Carter," he warned her.

"Fine," she answered petulantly. Sam sniffed again, followed by a sneeze.

"Ah-hah!" he cheered triumphantly.

"What?" Sam muttered angrily.

"You are sick."

She debated her next course of action for a few moments, before she gave in, "Fine! Yes, Sir, I am ill! My head hurts, my stomach hurts, I've got a burning temperature and the next person I run into is going to get killed!"

Silence.

Maybe she'd killed him.

"…Sam?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"…If I hear tale of you on base or within a hundred metres of it, I'll have Hammond stick you on leave for two weeks!"

"SIR!" she wailed.

"You're staying home for two days," Jack insisted.

"But-"

"Two days, Carter."

"But-"

"Two-

"I HAVE WORK TO DO!" Sam yelled, shocked. Crap. She'd just yelled down the phone at her CO.

Again, the deadly silence. Only the hum of the phone connection. …Then she heard him draw breath.

"YOU ARE NOT COMING IN TOMORROW, MAJOR, THAT'S AN ORDER!"

She actually had to hold the phone away from her ear.

"Fine!" Sam snapped, conceding defeat, sneezing again, cursing silently having ruined the effect.

"Good!" he replied, "I'm glad we got this sorted," Jack commented in a tone that was clearly teasing, but bordering on patronising.

"Fine!" she repeated.

"See you in two days!"

"Yes, Sir!" she growled.

"Bye, Sam."

"Bye, Sir."

Two days.

She'd kill him in two days.

Fin