Shi-chan: And 's down *again!* Just to make my life miserable it seems. What am I gonna write? I'm in-spi-ered! BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE! AG!

*1/2 an hour later, after watching some Ranma 1/2*

Shi-chan: Yessss...I will write another 2x5 one-shot, heheheh...oh yes...MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

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The Boiler Room
By Shimegami-chan
Warnings: Alternate universe, shounen-ai, sap, fluff, mild language, 2x5, hinting of Rx2 but you know I'd never let THAT happen...

Music: "Through The Night," from Outlaw Star.
^^^(From now on I'm going to tell you what I'm listening to while I wrote the fic, sometimes it'll help you get the feeling of the fic if you have the song too)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was watching some made-for-TV Disney movie yesterday that I never caught the title of. But it inspired this fic. ^_^ Kudos to you, unnamed movie! T_T I wish I'd seen the ending...

Duo grinned madly and checked the wires one last time to ensure that he hadn't done anything wrong. /If this doesn't get us out of school for at least a week, nothing will!/ The chestnut-haired boy admired his handiwork one last time before slamming the closet door shut one last time. /Ten minutes to go./

Ten minutes to get the hell out of there before the stink bomb went off. It was going to take days to fumigate the school as it was; Duo had no desire to be anywhere near it when the timer hit zero. He'd be lucky if the smell didn't reach his house more than two miles away.

With a feral grin, Duo slipped the equipment into his backpack and walked calmly to his locker, whistling a jaunty tune as to not draw suspicion. He had plenty of time anyway; when he slammed his locker shut there was a good 8 minutes to go. Most of the school had been emptied already as his watch hit 3:33 p.m. /7 minutes./

"Duuuuooooo!" a high female voice called, and Duo felt a familiar weight on his arm. /Dammit, not now./ "Sorry, Relena, I've gotta jam! Stuff to do, y'know?"

"Oh, but Duo!" Relena whined, trying to bury her face in his black shirt and stare into his eyes at the same time, "Won't you help me with my chemistry homework?"

"I'm failing chemistry, Rel, you know that." Duo growled, dragging the blond girl down the hall. "Get off!"

If anything, Relena held him tighter. "Meanie."

"Don't I know it." /Six minutes. I'm cutting it close now, I'm not even out the door yet!/

"Well, will you walk me home then?" she pleaded.

"Anything to get you *off* me! Hurry the hell up!" Duo bodily yanked her toward the stairs and halfway down before tripping over a young Chinese boy with a short ponytail of black hair and glasses on the bridge of his nose. All three students crashed down the remaining stairs and into a heap on the floor.

Duo blinked and stared into a pair of peircing onyx eyes. "Ano...gomen!" he laughed. He was lying stomach down on top of the Chinese student in what looked to be a very compromising position.

The Aisan boy turned bright red. "Get...get off me!" he cried.

"Can't," Duo mumbled. "Not until Relena gets off of me."

At this, Relena shot to her feet and scrambled to help her friend. "Oh, Duo-chan! I'm soooooo sorry! Did I squash you? Are you hurt?"

Duo was finding his body being quite relectant to get off his almond-eyed victim. /Holy shit, Duo, not now...you really don't want anyone to find out; there's no more schools left for you to transfer to if you ruin your rep here!/ He prayed that the Aisan hadn't noticed the sudden bulge in his pants and leapt to his feet. "G-gomen nasai! Are you okay?" He offered a hand to the other and assisted him in getting to his feet. "Well?"

The Chinese boy dusted off his pristine white pants and adjusted his glasses. "I suppose so."

/He is *so* hot./ Duo was fighting to keep a blush from rising to his cheeks. "I'm really sorry! Heh! We were just walking down and I wasn't looking where I was going, didn't see you, sorry, uh-" he paused and offered a hand to the boy. "I'm Duo, Duo Maxwell."

"Chang Wufei." the Aisan said, not taking the proffered hand. "I would hope that you would watch where your going, Maxwell. Good bye."

/Cold, isn't he?/ "Wait!" Duo cried.

Wufei cast a glance over his shoulder. "What do you want?"

"I..." he gave him a manic grin, trying to hide his embarassment. "Nothing, Wu-chan! Just...testing your name!"

Wufei turned even redder than before. "Do not call me that."

"Wu-chan? Why not? It's cute!"

"I refuse to answer to that ridiculous nickname." Wufei said.

Duo tapped his fingrs together. "Well, you don't have to *answer*...but I'll call you it anyway, just to be safe."

The Aisan looked angry now. "If you call me that in front of anyone I will kill you. I have my honor to protect."

/This is not going well./ "Sure thing, Wu-chan!"

Relena giggled at this. "It's a funny name, Wufei is! Wu-chan sounds sooo much better, don't you think Duo-chan?"

"Don't call me that." Duo growled. Wufei turned and stalked away, leaving Duo speechless for once in his life.

"He was a funny guy anyway," Relena pouted. "Come on, let's go home."

"Yeah, sure," Duo replied, his mind still on his new acquaintance. There was no way he could go after him, he didn't really want anybody to know that he was bisexual. He didn't really want to have to leave this school too, although...

Wasn't there something he was supposed to be doing?

Oh yes, not getting caught with the stink bomb.

"Oh shit!" he cried, checking his watch. Three-thirty-nine and fifty seconds. "Come on, Rel, we've gotta book it!"

"Why?" Relena questioned. "You're in an awful hurry-" She was cut off by a muffled bang and several shouts of surprise. Relena stopped short. "What was that?"

/Can't get away. Must feign ignorance./ "Sounded like an explosion."

"Oh no!" Relena glomped Duo tighter. "I'm scared!" Then, going from frightened-child-mode to fake-bravado-mode, she tugged him back up the stairs. "Let's go see!"

Duo was too dazed to protest. /I'-/ Something white caught his eye. "Wufei?"

The Chinese boy turned his gaze to Duo. "Maxwell. There's been-"

Suddenly coming to his senses, Duo took Wufei by the arm and began to haul him out the door as well. "Come on, let's get out of here, unless you want to spend a few hours bathing in tomato juice-"

"Mr. Maxwell."

Duo's heart turned to ice. "Um?"

Mr. Luo, the principal, towered over the young American. "Mr. Maxwell, would you and your friends happen to know the source of the 'disturbance' just now?"

"Disturbance?" the indigo-eyed boy drawled slowly, playing dumb. "What disturbance?" The words had barely escaped his lips when a foul smell washed over them. Relena and Wufei used their free hands to cover their noses, while Duo stared blankly at Mr. Luo.

"*That* disturbance," he replied coldly.

/Oh, shit. This is one of those times when I really, really wish I could tell a lie./

-

"INJUSTICE!" Wufei howled. "I don't see how you can punish ME for his mischief!"

"Mr. Chang." Mr. Luo said slowly. "If you insist that you knew nothing of the prank, why were you and Mr. Maxwell trying to ran away from the scene of the crime?"

"I didn't know what was happening!" Wufei argued. "Maxwell just grabbed me and ran off! You let the onna go, why won't you let me?"

"The 'onna,' as you say, is the daughter of King Peacecraft and doesn't have a malicious bone in her body. I beleived her because I know her. You, on the other hand, have nothing to prove your innocence with. What should I think?"

"I don't lie, Mr. Luo. Wufei didn't have anything to do with it." Duo said solemnly.

"The issue isn't up for discussion, Mr. Maxwell. You two are going to be punished. I don't want to suspend you, as tempting as it is-I just want you to learn from experience. Mr. Chang, your grades are some of the highest in this school, I don't want anything to blemish your record. And as for you-" he looked pointedly at Duo, "-I know you've had some problems adjusting here and at your old schools. I know you could excel if you tried, judging from your entrance exam marks; and I know you're having problems at home. I'm trying to help you two out here, but this can't you unpunished. You see?"

Unfortunately, Duo could. "Yes."

"No!" Wufei fumed. "I don't even want to be associated with this idiot, much less be blamed for his immoral deeds! I-"

"Shut it, Wu-chan." Duo said coolly. "We're better off doing what he says." Wufei's mouth hung open for a few seconds and Duo turned back to the Principal. "Well?"

Mr. Luo looked deep in thought. "Now, I need an ample punishment..."

Duo tried as hard as he could to remain cheerful. "It won't be so bad, Wu-chan. We've just gotta clean the place up and we'll be done with it, ne?"

He heard a muffled snort from nearby. "Easier said than done." A flashlight came to life in the darkness of the boiler room, and the Chinese boy's torso appeared. "Aren't there *any* lights in here?"

"Mr. Luo said that he'd get them fixed if we cleaned it up enough to look presentable." Duo coughed and waved plumes of dust away from his face, sending even more drifting into the air. "Why, are you afraid of the dark?"

"No," Wufei growled, "it's just that with only one flashlight it's hard to see what we're doing. Stupid cheap schooling."

Duo shrugged in the darkness and ambled over to stand beside Wufei. "Might as well get started, ne?" The American leaned over and began piling up old newspapers in a stack. "AC 175, AC 176, AC 177...holy crap, how old is this place? When was the lst time they cleaned it?"

"Evidently in AC 179," Wufei said, shining the flashlight on the top paper.

"Wouldn't be surprised if we found some dead bodies in here." Duo joked, casting a glance over his shoulder.

"Hn." Wufei turned his attention and the light towards a heap of old glass bottles. "I don't think I wish to know what people did down here."

Duo eyed the empty containers. "Alcohol and god-knows what else." He gingerly picked up some of the bottles and put them in an empty cardboard box. "You never know, these things might be worth something."

Wufei didn't answer, but set the flashlight on the ground and assisted Duo. The American picked up some broken glass and pricked his finger. "Itaiii..."

"Nani?" Wufei looked at him, still piling the box full.

"Shit. I'm bleeding."

The Chinese boy shone the light on Duo finger, which was indeed dripping blood. Duo touched it to his lips to wipe the blood away.

"Don't do that." Wufei took Duo's hand and held it gently in his own, training the light on it. He then daubed the blood away with the cuff of his sleeve. "This thing's a mess from the dust anyway ne?"

Duo couldn't speak, the cool touch was sending sparks throughout his body.

Wufei peered closer. "I don't think there's any glass in it, you just nicked it." Duo nodded weakly. Tucked under the Aisan's arm, the flashlight suddenly went out and the two were lfet alone in the dark.

Duo froze. "What the-"

Wufei's voice was calm and collected. "Mr. Luo said that the batteries were probably old. I have more in my pocket."

"Oh." Duo sighed in releif but continued to blink in the darkness. Wufei still held his hand, palm up, and the American heard scuffling as the other boy rose to his feet. Wufei stood still.

Duo stepped a little closer and felt the Aisan's hot breath on his face. Again he had to quell a flash of desire. "Fei-kun?"

A second passed, then two; and Wufei quickly let Duo's arm fall back to his side. "The batteries." There were several clicking sounds as he exchanged the old batteries for new ones and brought the flashlight back to life.

Duo blinked at the light. "Great. It seems a little dim though..."

"They're all old batteries," Wufei scoffed. "I suppose he just expects us to mix and match until we find two that work."

Duo nodded weakly, his heart pounding. "I think I'll leave the glass alone for now." Treading carefully, he maneouvered over near the boiler and began picking up tools that someone had scattered on the floor.

Wufei took off his dusty outer shirt to reveal a blue tanktop, and Duo bit his lip. Under the long sleeves the small boy had slim arms and sleek muscles that any other male would probably envy. Maybe he worked out in his spare time, Duo didn't know. But he looked *good.* /You're staring./ Wufei set the shirt down and the batteries clinked against one another in the pocket. "It was a mess," he muttered to himself. "Blood and dirt all over." Then the Chinese boy went to the opposite corner of the room, much to Duo's dismay; and began stacking more newspapers, leaving the flashlight near the boiler as a sort of half-point between the two students.

Duo had to force himself to keep working and not stare at Wufei. /Easy does it, Duo, if word gets out-and no doubt Wufei hates you enough to tell the world-you're dead. So stop looking./ The Aisan's eyes never strayed from his task, it was obvious that Wufei was the kind of guy who got things done quickly and efficiently. But Duo caught his eye after a few moments, watching Duo curiously. "What's up, Fei-kun?" Duo laughed.

"Nothing," Wufei said, a hint of curiosity in his voice. "Are you almost done?"

"Yeah, I'm nearly-" Duo cursed under his breath as the flashlight died once again. "Shimatta." He stumbled blindly to his feet and touched the wall for guidance. "Damn, coudn't he have given us any decent batteries? Wufei?" Duo paused momentarily to listen, but heard nothing. "Oi! Fei-kun!"

Still only silence, and the sound of Duo's own laboured breathing. "Oh, so you *are* scared of the dark?" he joked.

No answer came, and Duo inwardly had to tell his stomach to stop turning to ice. "Wufei?"

There was something behind him. Duo bit back an outcry. "Shiiiiiit..."

"Duo," a voice whispered, frighteningly close to his ear.

Duo started. "Fei-kun! How'd you get over here?"

His face could have only been an inch or two away, leaning over Duo's shoulder. "I'm quiet."

"The...the flashlight died," Duo said obviously.

"The batteries are in my shirt pocket. By the door." Wufei paused a moment, and Duo shivered. "Do you want to get them, or shall I?"

"I, yi, yi...ano..." Duo turned and stuck a hand out carefully, catching Wufei's arm. "There you are."

Duo felt Wufei shrug slightly. "Yeah."

The American was more than a little worried now. "How do I know you're really Fei-kun, and not some axe murderer hiding in the boiler room for the last twenty years?"

Wufei laughed lightly and it was music to Duo's ears. "I don't know of many people who would want to claim to be me."

"Why's that?" Duo asked curiously, moving his hand up to Wufei's shoulder.

"Because," Wufei breathed. "I'm different."

"Different how?" Duo marveled at the muscle of the Chinese boy's arm and dropped his hand back to his side. That flaming desire was burning in his chest again.

"Like this." Wufei touched a hand to Duo's face, and their lips met. The kiss was long and deep and better than anything Duo had ever experienced. A tingle of disappointment shot through him when Wufei pulled away.

Heat rose to Duo's cheeks. "You'd better still be Wufei when we get the lights working again."

"Why's that?" Wufei questioned.

"Because." Duo moved his face close to Wufei's again and wound his arms around his neck.

Wufei shivered and Duo sensed the Chinese boy's smile. "What, you still think I'm an axe murderer?"

Duo couldn't help but joke despite the seriousness. "You could have hidden the bodies...like...in the janitor's closet."

"No one wants to go near the janitor's closet, thanks to your bomb," Wufei said smoothly.

Duo sighed. "Fine. See if I care."

"Do you?"

The temperature of the small room seemed to rise by a thousand degrees and Duo managed a quiet. "Yes."

Wufei strong arms were suddenly around Duo's waist. "And you still want me to be Wufei when the lights are working again?"

"Well...I'll be very disappointed if you're not." Duo laughed. "But just in case...let's not turn on the light just yet."

~Owari!

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Shi-chan: Wasn't that...supposed to be a humor fic?
Seki: I *thought* it was...you changed your mind, apparantly...
Shi-chan: *blushes* Fluff always gets to me...