Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Some humour intended. Some humour may be accidental. The author can accept no responsibility for unexpected funniness.

AN: It's been a long time since part 3, but the final installment is here. Enjoy!

Chapter 4 – The Mirror of Ocsid

Wedge, Iella and Janson emerged from the trapdoor passageway into a cavernous cavern of cavern-like proportions that looked as if it had been carved out of solid aluminium-nickel alloy. But on closer inspection, Wedge realized that the walls were only coated in an aluminium-nickel alloy coloured paint, and were actually made out of fiberglass.

The Imps sure are getting cheap, he thought.

On the other side of the cavern, he could see a large reflective rectangular sheet, standing upright on its end. Beside it, he could just make out two figures, standing motionless.

"What's this all about, then?" Janson asked, indicating the figures.

"How should I know?" Wedge replied.

"Only one way to find out," said Iella, and started forward. The other two gave each other a look, shrugged, and followed her. As they approached, Wedge noted that the reflective sheet was about twice the height of the two figures, and had a width of half its height. It was supported by an enormous golden frame, although Wedge suspected it was only painted gold and actually made out of papier-maché.

The figures were now close enough for Wedge to make out some detail. The one on the right was dressed in an ornate, flowing red robe and was wearing a large headpiece that vaguely resembled a jester's hat. The one on the left was dressed more simply, in a plain robe and hood. The two stood, unmoving, facing our three heroes as they drew closer.

"I don't like this, Boss," Janson murmered.

Wedge shuddered as an eerie chill ran up his spine. "Me neither," he replied.

"You two are such wimps," Iella said from in front of them.

Presently, our three heroes drew up before the two figures. It was clear now that they were both women. There was a moment of silence. Then the more ornately dressed woman, who also had powder-white face with painted red spots on her cheeks, spoke:

"Welcome. We have been expecting you."

"Who are you?" Wedge asked.

"I am Empress Amidala. Not the original Amidala, of course. I am a clone, re-born to rule the Empire!"

"What's left of the Empire, you mean," Iella said. "The New Republic's in charge now."

Empress Amidala narrowed her eyes. "We will see."

"Who's your friend?" Janson piped up, eyeing the robed woman standing next to the Empress.

"This is my handmaiden…" the Empress gestured to the other woman, who stepped forward, pulling back her hood.

"Sledge!" Wedge cried out in immediate recognition of his sister.

"Sledgé, actually," the Empress corrected him.

Wedge ignored her. "I got your message, Sledge. I thought you were dead!"

"Hi Wedge. It's been a while. How've you been?" Sledgé asked conversationally, tucking some shoulder-length dark brown hair behind her ear.

"Fine, yeah…um… I thought you were in trouble?"

Sledgé laughed. "No, not at all. It was all a lie to get you to come."

"What? Why?" Wedge gaped at her in shock.

Sledgé shrugged. "Like your friend said, the Empire has crumbled. We need to rebuild it. And you, Wedge, are the key."

"We? Sledge, don't tell me you've joined the Imps?"

Sledgé ignored his question and continued: "This …" she indicated the giant metal plate in its golden frame, "… is the Mirror of Ocsid. It will reveal the secret of the Force-Yoghurt creation process… but only to a true and valiant hero. When I heard this, I immediately thought of you, brother, the celebrated X-Wing pilot who managed to survive all three Star Wars movies where all other supporting cast perished…"

"Movies?" Janson gave Sledgé a confused look.

"Wait, you mean you never invented Force-Yoghurt?" Wedge interrupted.

"Not yet, but we will when we obtain the secret… it will allow the Empire to reclaim its former power. Empress Amidala will rule the galaxy and succeed where her heavy-breathing late husband so miserably failed!"

Empress Amidala gave Wedge a regal stare. "Sledgé speaks the truth. She is a loyal handmaiden. Now, General Antilles, look into the mirror and tell me what you see."

"Don't do it, Boss!" Janson cried. Wedge glanced over at him, then turned back to the Empress.

"And what if I refuse?"

"If you refuse, then your friends will be reacquainted with Fluffy, and this time there will be no trapdoors."

"I suggest you do it, Boss!" Janson said quickly, then yelped as Iella jabbed him hard in the ribs. "Ow!"

Wedge shifted his gaze from Empress Amidala to Sledgé and back again. "And if I do look in the mirror and tell you what I see … how do I know you won't reacquaint us all with Fluffy once you've got what you want?"

Empress Amidala smiled. That's to say, the corners of her painted mouth turned up a bit. "Sledgé, arrange for an escort to take General Antilles' friends down to Fluffy's chamber."

"Yes, m'lady," Sledgé said, and pulled a comlink from her robes.

"Wait!" Wedge put out a hand emploringly, and Sledgé paused. "All right, I'll look in your mirror!"

Empress Amidala nodded to Sledgé, who lowered the comlink. "Good. I'm glad you've decided to cooperate. Look in the mirror and tell me what you see."

Reluctantly, Wedge turned and walked to a position in front of the mirror, keeping his eyes averted from its silvered surface. Iella and Janson watched in helpless anticipation.

"What do you see, General? I have to know what you see!" Empress Amidala was leaning forward, eagerly awaiting Wedge's answer. Sledgé looked on with wide eyes, excitement dancing across her face.

Slowly, unwillingly, Wedge pulled his eyes towards the mirror and gazed into its reflective depths.

There was a pause.

"Well?" Empress Amidala cut into the silence. Wedge briefly glanced at her, then back at the mirror. He cocked his head to one side, considering something.

"What is it? What's in the mirror?" the Empress demanded impatiently.

Wedge squinted at the mirror. "I could tell you, but…"

"But what?" Amidala fumed.

"You won't like it," Wedge finished.

"I'll be the judge of that! Just tell me!" was the Empress' indignant response.

"OK then," Wedge said. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

"Get on with it, Wedge!" Sledgé chimed in.

Wedge sighed. "I see me."

"And…?" Amidala pressed. Wedge shrugged.

"And nothing. I just see me. Like I would in any mirror."

"You're lying!" Amidala cried. "Tell me what you really see!"

"That is what I really see. All I ever see in mirrors. Except…" Wedge leant forward and peered at the mirror more closely.

"Except what?" Amidala said hopefully.

"I seem to have a few more wrinkles than last time I checked…"

"You are trying my patience, Antilles! If you don't tell me what you really see in the next five seconds, your friends are going to be Fluffy's next meal!" Amidala seemed to be turning red, even through all the white make-up, and her agitation had caused her jester's hat to fall askew.

Meanwhile, Wedge reached into his pocket and pulled out a small red stone. Without hesitation, he threw it straight at the mirror. It shattered, silver shards cascading onto the floor.

"Nooooo!" the Empress screamed.

"Hey, where'd that stone come from, Boss?" Janson enquired as Wedge grabbed both him and Iella, and shoved them in the direction of the mirror frame.

"Wedge, what're you doing?" cried Iella as the three of them fell through the now empty mirror frame … and found themselves tumbling onto soft grass. They sat up, and noticed that they were surrounded by the trunks of several tall trees. Somewhere in the distance, a voice was saying, "… I'd like to thank everyone for their contributions to this year's 'Plant a Tree So We Can Actually Breathe Day', as it has been once again a resounding success. Our new forest will provide generations to come with natural beauty, pride, and of course, air."

Our three heroes looked at each other. "We're back on Coruscant," Iella said in surprise. "But how?"

"The mirror was a portal," Wedge explained. "The final trapdoor. It showed me that. As well as where to find the Force-Yoghurt-Maker's Stone." He felt around on the grass. "Aha! Here it is." He picked up a small red stone and showed it to the other two.

"That was the stone in your pocket!" Janson said. "How did it get there?"

"I don't have a clue – the mirror just told me it was there. Along with how to use it to escape."

Iella reached for the stone. "So this little stone is the key to making Force-Yoghurt? How exactly?"

Wedge shrugged. "Beats me. Don't want to know either. What do I want the Force for? I'd have to ponce around all day in brown-hooded robes acting all superior and spouting pseudo-philosophical nonsense. I just like to fly small one-man fighters and blast stuff. That's good enough for me."

"Fair enough," replied Iella. "Hey – isn't it a special day today? We should go and celebrate!"

"I'm not sure I'm all that interested in planting trees," Wedge sighed.

"No, Boss – your birthday!"

Janson and Iella dragged Wedge off to the nearest bar, where they bought him several rounds of drinks and partied the night away. During the course of the festivities, a somewhat inebriated Wedge managed to accidently drop the Force-Yoghurt-Maker's stone in Janson's beer, unbeknownst to Janson. What happened next is another story…

THE END