Disclaimer: I own no part of Dragonball/Z/GT or Boa's song Duvet.

Author's note: I was listening to this song the other day and it just made me think of Gohan. It is set after Goku dies and he still feels guilty. The song that this is set to is Duvet by Boa, it is also the opening theme for the anime "Serial Experiments Lain". WARNING: this story is full of angst.

Inner Despair

And you don't seem to understand

A shame you seemed an honest man

"Father..."

And all the fears you hold so dear

"I hate the monsters. They are cruel, the bringers of pain."

Will turn to whisper in your ear

"Am I one?"

And you know what they say might hurt you

And you know that it means so much

"Should my father's death go unpunished?"

And you don't even feel a thing

"You should hate me…..why don't you?"

I am falling

"I…"

I am fading

"I just…"

I have lost it all

"I don't understand myself"

And you don't seem the lying kind

A shame that I can read your mind

"Father, I should have known. You always had confidence in me."

And all the things that I read there

"But I didn't believe and now you're gone."

Candle lit smile that we both shared

"I miss you dad."

And you know that I don't mean to hurt you

"Father….Mother…Everyone."

But you know that it means so much

"I want to move on."

And you don't even feel a thing

"But you don't see that I can't."

I am falling

"You all say it's not my fault."

I am fading

"That I did everything that I could."

I am drowning

"That I still won."

Help me to breathe

"Stop, just stop."

I am hurting

"Can't you see what I've done?"

I have lost it all

"I became the monster."

I am losing

"I'm sorry."

Help me to breathe

"Please no more pity?"

I am falling

"No more pretending."

I am fading

"I know what I've done."

I am drowning

"Tell me you know what I've done."

Help me to breath

"And tell me that you forgive me."

I am hurting

"Mother forgive me."

I have lost it all

"Piccolo forgive me."

I am losing

"Everyone please? No more hiding behind kind words."

Help me to breath

"Father forgive me."