AN: This randomly came to me... How, I don't quite remember, even if the Idea just popped up not two minutes before I started writing this. Please, don't kill me. :D :D

Summary: Sanzo doesn't like Gojyo. Gojyo doesn't like Sanzo. This is obvious. However, when the damn breaks, the two decide to solve their differences in a brawl. That ends up a little messier than originally anticipated. One-shot. Not Shounen-Ai.

Warnings: OOC, Some language and uh... Mud?

Disclaimer: I think this face explains it all: ;.; In other words, I don't own it :D

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Mud Fight

One-shot Saiyuki Ficlet.

It had rained the night before. One could safely assume the Great Sanzo Houshi-sama was in a bad mood. Well, worse than normal at least. To top it all off, Goku had managed to break his harisen (By being hit over the head with it), Hakkai had been smiling so damned much that it was about to drive him crazy and that damned erogappa...

Sanzo glared homocidally at Gojyo who grinned over at him, cigarette hanging between his lips. It had all been his fault. It almost always was. With the rare exception it was the monkey's fault. But mostly it was Gojyo's.

What had he done this time? Well, his skirt-chasing instincts had gotten them all in trouble with the innkeeper who didn't like the redhead hitting on his daughter and had promptly thrown them out. It was the only inn in the town as well. So there they were, outside in the muddy, wet street in the late evening with the clouds covering whatever sun might be out at the time with nowhere to go. Hakuryuu was exhausted so they could not continue on to the next town.

"You fuckin' ero kappa. This is all. your. fault." Sanzo hissed, desperately wishing he had his harisen. Unfortunately, it was in four pieces. Two of which, were unaccounted for, probably insurance that he couldn't glue it back together.

Gojyo waved his hands in the air. "How was I supposed to know she was underage? She had a rack the size of the monkey's appetite!"

"I'm not a monkey!"

Sanzo and Gojyo stopped their arguement just long enough to yell "Shut up!" before continuing their disagreement.

"Maa, maa... Shouldn't we be worrying about where we're going to stay for the night?" Hakkai inquired. Upon receiving glares from half of their group he wisely decided to hush and let the two duke it out. Who knows? Maybe they could solve it peacefully.

That is, until Sanzo hit Gojyo over the head with his fist, for lack of a paper fan. "You're going to find us a place to stay!"

"Like hell! Why don't you get off your lazy ass and do it yourself you fuckin' sham monk!"

Sanzo gritted his teeth, drew his hand back and punched Gojyo. Hard.

Hakkai and Goku stared, wide-eyed as the red-headed hanyou flew backwards and landed in the mud with a splat. A few moments of regaining his composure and Gojyo stood up, mud dripping from his backside. "That's. It. Monk."

Gojyo charged forward and delivered a swift strike across the jaw, causing Sanzo to lose his footing and hit the muddy ground himself. He grunted, standing up, his light-colored robes now brown on one side and glared.

And both Goku and Hakkai wisely took two steps back.

With battle cries that rivaled Goku's DBZ counterpart, both men charged at each other, fists raised to beat the crap out of the other. However, when they clashed, then ended up grabbing fistfuls of each other's hair, stepping on each other's feet and began to slip on the muddy soil. Gojyo lost his footing first, tripping over Sanzo's robes and fell backwards, taking the muddy monk with him. Sanzo landed on top of him as he sucker-punched the hanyou in the jaw. Gojyo growled, kicking the monk off of him, who slid a couple of feet in the mud before coming to a complete stop. He squirmed for a moment to get back onto his feet as Gojyo struggled to get on both feet without doing a painful split. Sanzo wiped away the muddy streak going across his face before Gojyo came at him again.

Sanzo let the mud work in his favor, falling back as the kappa grabbed hold of him. As his back hit the muddy flooring with a satisfying splat, he kicked up, sending Gojyo flying over him and landing, somehow, face-first in the mud.

Sanzo stood up, satisified, completely brown from head to toe. Except the sutra. Somehow, it managed to maintain it's cleanliness through the whole thing. Must be some sort of divine power.

Gojyo flailed for a moment before managing to get on all fours, sputtering. His red hair was no longer red and one couldn't tell if he was wearing clothes or not thanks to the layers of mud caked on him. Getting up, he turned around and glared at Sanzo.

Sanzo put a cigarette in his mouth, lighting it up. "I feel better."

"Yeah? Me, too." Gojyo replied, grabbing one of his own cigarettes. Walking up beside him, he let Sanzo light it for him. "So. Where we staying at?"

"Dunno. Let's let the clean ones decide."

"Sounds good to me."

Goku and Hakkai looked at each other, then at their comrades. "I think I need a drink."

"Yeah, me too."

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"Aww! C'mon! Hakkai! I'm clean enough!"

"Bakazaru, you're scrubbing too HARD."

Hakkai chuckled, ignoring his friend's protests as Gojyo sat in the river, being bathed like a pet. Beside him, Sanzo didn't look much happier at the idea of his pet monkey scrubbing his head with a brush.

"My, Gojyo. Who would ever thought you could get mud in places you didn't know existed!"

"I do hope you didn't mean that in the way I think you did."

"Yay! Sanzo, now you're squeaky clean!"

"Urusai!"

And all was back to normal in the world of Togenkyo. Or at least, as normal as normal gets.

Owari.

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AN: completely insane, ooc, and pointless. ain't it great? :D I typed this up pretty fast so please ignore any spelling./grammatical mistakes. My muse is sleepy-sleepy and I don't have any sushi to bring her awake. XD
Comments appreciated. And all that jazz. :D

::Ignore the grammar, I do::

Phoe-chan