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Disclaimer:
The characters in this story aren’t mine, they belong to Rumiko Takahashi and other publications. I’m only here so I can practice my writing…
I do not own any of the characters and gains no profit from writing this story, so again please don’t sue!
I already have enough problems managing bill payments…
Bold Italics means person on the other line of the phone
Italics means thoughts...
Previously:
Ranma had a talk with Nabiki, in which she reassures him that he had nothing to worry about. Unaware that Nabiki was also having doubts. Kuno recalls the moment he realised he cared for Nabiki.
Kuno couldn't help but grin, he was happy. Deliriously happy. Lying beside him was the woman he loved and cherish. The only thing missing now to make everything complete was for them to have a child. At first he didn't really like the idea. For one, he didn't know how to raise a child and was scared that he wouldn't be a good father, just like his own. The other was he was afraid of the losing Nabiki, she looked so fragile.
He heard stories about women who had difficulties giving birth, most of them die in surgery. He shivered thinking of what may happen to Nabiki. Nabiki was only 29 years of age, yet still he was scared for her but the more they prolonged making a child the more at risk Nabiki was.
"What is wrong Kuno-Chan?" She asked him, interrupting him from his thoughts.
"I was just thinking." He replied while he caressed her hair.
"Don't strain yourself too much love." She smirked at him.
"Why you!" He warned, then began to tickle her.
Nabiki laughed and squirmed beside him.
"K-kuno-Chan... S-stop!" She begged in between breaths as tears began to fall from her eyes. Kuno gently wiped them away and then captured her lips with his own.
"So tell me what's on your mind," She asked him once he released her.
"I was thinking, maybe perhaps its time for us to have a child," He answered her. He saw her stiffen a bit, as though he had slapped her.
"Kuno I... I don't know..." She answered him in all honesty. Kuno felt somewhat angry at her response and began to frown.
"Why?"
"I don't think I'm ready to have a child yet Tachi," She answered and then turned away from him.
"Why not? Where both of age, and have the financial security and we both love each other... I don't really see what the problem is," He said rather irritated.
"Why was she being difficult?"
I'm just not ready yet ok!" She replied rather harshly as she turned to face him.
Why was he angry at her?
"Look, I don't think, this is the right time to have a baby. There's still a lot of loose ends we need to straighten out," She added more rationally.
"Such as?" He asked coldly.
Why does it seem like she doesn't want to have his child? He now sat up on the bed, looking down at her.
"Tachi be reasonable about this. So far, we barely see each other because of our careers." She reasoned. Hoping that he will let the subject drop. She began to sit up as well to face him.
"We both know we can work around that. There's something else isn't there? Tell me what's really bothering you Nab-Chan." He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.
Can she really tell him the reason she's so adamant in having his child?
Could she tell him that the reason she cant give him a child was because she was unsure of her love for him?
That she was afraid to wake up one morning and realised she no longer loved him?
That she didn't want a child to be stuck in the middle when that day comes?
"I just can't." She said as she began to cry. He can ask anything from her but not a child. Not yet. Not when she isn't sure of her feelings.
Kuno sighed. He made her cry. He was such a bastard. He gathered her into his arms and enveloped her into hug. Rocking her back and forth. Trying to soothe her.
"I'm sorry love for raising my voice, I was a bit angry that's all." He said trying desperately to soothe her.
"It just felt like you don't want to have a child with me," he added.
"But I do," She replied.
She really did want to have a child with him. She knew he would make such a good father. If she wasn't so screwed up right now she would gladly give him a child. But she cant. It would be unfair to him and herself if she did, not only to both of them but for the child as well. Then there was Akane. She didn't know how Akane entered her thoughts but it did. She can't have a child knowing she cost her sister her own. She must have said her sister's name out loud cause the next thing she knew Kuno began to berate himself.
"I'm so sorry love. I'm such a bastard. I didn't even consider how you felt about this. I should have know why you're so reluctant about this but you have to understand, what happened to Akane is not your fault, you did your best." He replied, trying to reassure her.
"Oh Tachi! I can't have a baby knowing I've cost Akane her own. Not until I have made right by her," She answered him. It was the truth. She told herself. Partially anyways. It will at least buy her some time to sort her feelings out.
"Very well, but you also have to understand that, Us planning to have a baby has nothing to do with her. It is our mutual decision and I wont force you to." He resigned. He felt like such a fool for even bringing up the topic. He ruined such a perfectly good moment.
"Oh Tachi!" Was all she could say, before hugging him. She didn't deserve him. She thought to herself. He was so nice to her, so understanding, so caring.
Why couldn't she love him wholeheartedly?
She felt her eyes water, bringing about fresh tears.
Kuno felt her tears fall on his bare shoulder. He looked at her face and looked intently in her eyes.
"Ssshhh... There now, no more tears alright?" He said as he gently wipe her tears away with her fingers and giving each eyelid an affectionate kiss.
How can things be the way it was?
Kuno wasn't hard to fall for. He is kind, understanding, patient and sweet. Times have changed. It has been over for years now. She should have been able to move on. She thought she could get pass this. After all, Kuno may not be her first love but at least he reciprocated her feelings of affection and loved her more than life itself. She did care for him. She cared about him more than anything than she can imagine, but it isn't as strong as she felt for the love she had lost.
Nabiki intertwined her hands on the back of his neck and lifted her face so that she can kiss him. His lips tasted salty with tears. Her tears. Her heart ached. What her heart says is different from what her mind was telling her. Life is so cruel.
Weeks Passed...
There had been little changed. Ranma and Akane continued to argue. Every time they fought harsher words were exchanged. Almost every night, Ranma slept at the dojo. It was becoming like a ritual. every time they fought, a tiny part of Ranma's heart breaks. Slowly beginning to feel numb.
Each time she yells at him, a tiny piece of his heart breaks, each time she called him names, his heart aches, each time she questions his man hood, a seed of hate is planted. Still he tried his best. In this battle, he planned never to loose.
Every night he checks on her. Every time he gazed at her form, his heart created havoc. He was drowning, suffocating. He was tired. Slowly getting tired. He no longer see her as the one he loved. As each day passed by, she slowly became a stranger.
Akane laid still in bed. She pretended she was asleep. She was aware of Ranma's presence. She had been aware of him always checking up on her as she sleeps or when he thinks she's asleep. Her heart ached.
How could she treat him the way she does?
How could she say those nasty things to him?
Does she still love him?
Does she even care for him?
Akane cried. Tears poured from her eyes as she silently sobbed. She wasn't good enough for him. He was too good for her. He may be cursed and almost all his life he suffered being used and abused, still he was a better person. He had proven himself countless of times even if the odds where against him. He was simply too much for her. Her insecurities came rushing back as though the flood gates had been opened. He deserved someone better. He was perhaps better off with Ukyo, Shampoo and perhaps even Kodachi. It was better that way.
Would it be much easier if it had happened that way?
Would it really?
Her eyes burned with tears.
It is easier this way. She kept telling herself. That by doing this she was protecting him. Driving him away from her. Lessening the pain.
Their pain.
Her pain.
She saw it in his eyes, the look of aloofness in them. She felt like she was being scorned. Mock by everyone because she wasn't a complete woman. Her pain intensifies.
Every time he looked affectionately at her, her heart breaks. She can't and never will be able to give him a child.
HELL!
She couldn't even keep a child that wasn't born from her! It hurt to know he will not father a son or daughter to call his own. To call their own. Yet still he stood beside her. Treating her like fine China or glassware.
WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE SO DAMN UNDERSTANDING!
The more she pushed, the more he comforted her. The more she yelled at him, the more soothing and sweet words came from him. When she hits him, he looks at her forlornly. She tried to be strong. But it was simply too much. The pain was driving her mad! Her anger was driving her mad! She wants to get away. She wanted to runaway. She noticed he was hardly at home now. Most probably to avoid confrontation with her. She doesn't know what was wrong with her. She still cared for him deeply.
But loved him?
She doesn't know. For the very first time she admitted to herself, that she was scared. Frightened even.
Realisation hit her harder than any punch, curse or insult that she had ever experienced before. She was no longer in love with him. She still cares for him, but not the strong kind of love she had felt for him before.
How could she love him when it was him who was tearing her apart?
He may not raised his hand on her or abused her physically or mentally but she was suffocating from the love he was so generously giving her.She was getting sick and tired of being treated with kid gloves. She wanted to leave and find herself once again. She thought about her decision. Ranma may not be aware of this but she frequently called her sister Kasumi.
She smiled when Yuka proposed having a counsellor to intervene. It would be what her sister Nabiki would advice of her doing. She missed Nabiki. She hasn't spoken to her since the court decision. Then the feeling of anger took over. She then felt angry at her sister.
It was her fault.
It was her fault they lost Sakura.
She didn't try hard enough.
But deep down, at the back of her head she knew it wasn't so. Nabiki did the best she could. It still didn't reduce her anger. She hated to admit this but she was jealous of her sisters.
They were both blissfully married. Kasumi was married with Tofu and had two adorable kids. Nabiki was married to Kuno who treated her like a queen. Out of the two older sisters, she guessed she envied Nabiki the most.
While Nabiki still hasn't got kids of her own she was sure that if Nabiki wanted to, she can easily produce them. She had a successful career in what is thought to be a man's world. She was rich and a husband that was so ever faithful. They both, had already travelled the world. In fact it was them that gave her father and her new mother Hinako Ninomiya and the Saotomes' money to go travelling. She sometimes wondered what would have happened if she chose Kuno?
While she was sure he was quite derange, he had proven himself when he changed. She shook her head in denial. She knew the marriage wouldn't have lasted since he only lusted over her.
Ryoga?
That would have been something. They will end up travelling together, having numerous adventures together, but in the end she will be lonely. If she didn't travel with him, he would surely be lost for days, perhaps even for months or years.
Shinnusuke?
It would have worked out, if he could just remember her.
She smiled. Countless suitors came to her head. She imagined what her life would have turned out if she had ended up with them. She smiled bitterly when she came to the conclusion that none of them would have turned out all well. Deep inside she knew that in what ever way she looked at it, she would have never been happy because they were not Ranma. She hugged her knees tightly to her chest."Oh Ranma." She whispered softly as her eyes continued to blur her vision.
Normally she would have P-Chan with her right about now. She sighed. If P-chan was here right now she will be hugging her pet instead of her knees. She would be talking to her little pet right now about her angst. She smiled grimly. Funny how he suddenly just disappeared after the wedding. She was used to him coming and going, for days a time but never this long.
She reasoned that her pet ran away. She always knew her pet didn't like Ranma. It may sound silly but it seemed like her pet was jealous of Ranma. It probably dawned to her pet that it was not the only love of her life now. She smiled wryly. While she prided herself of knowing her pet was smart even as smart as a human, she was quite sceptical about her conclusion. So she sought her sisters for help.
She had asked her sisters about this. Her sister Kasumi just assured her that perhaps P-chan had an owner and that's probably why it sported a bandanna and perhaps this time he stayed with its master. While she accepted her older sister's reassurance, a look from Nabiki told her otherwise. There was something about the look that she gave her that made her believe that she knew something.
Another factor that she envied from her sister. Brains. She was smart. She wasn't afraid to use it. She always used her brains to her advantage. Manipulating people to her liking. Moulding them. As if she was a God! She smiled as she remembered her older sister's scams. While her sister considered herself to be above everybody else because of the power she holds above everyone's heads, it left her isolated. Alone. She smiled bitterly. She did hold a grudge against her sister. While she appreciated all that she has done to arrange and settle the fiancé fiasco. She felt that she earned, No, deserved what her sister did.
After all, wasn't it Nabiki's fault that the first wedding was a disaster?
Wasn't it Nabiki's fault that she incited the other girls interests in Ranma by loaning him off and selling pictures of him?
It was all Nabiki's fault.
It was only right for her to fix things and take responsibility for them.
Tomorrow, she would talk to Ranma. She will talk to him.
At the Dojo:
Ranma had the phone. For weeks now he had listened to her advice. She had been most helpful, but no matter what he did, they always ended up fighting. It was no longer enough to talk to her on the phone. He needed comfort. Face to face confrontation. To see if she was true. If she indeed was helping him. He supposed he is being a bit sceptical, but he no longer trusted his instincts. His emotions. He needed to talk to her.
Whoever thought that the voice he used to dread was now the only voice he anticipated in hearing?
The phone rang. It went on ringing. Then he heard an audible click. A male groggy voice came on.
"Hello?"
Silence.
"Hello?"
Ranma hung up. He felt stupid. All he needed to do was ask for Nabiki. It was only natural that Kuno would pick up the phone. But somehow he couldn't ask him if he could talk to his wife. Somehow it didn't sound right. It sounded inappropriate.
How could it be so inappropriate?
What was wrong with her brother-in-law calling her?
With new determination he rang once again.
Who could be ringing at this hour?
He was about to pick up the phone to tell off whoever it was calling when Nabiki beat him to it. All she did was smile at him and his annoyance suddenly went away. He looked at her, shaking his head and went back to sleep.
Nabiki smiled at Kuno. He looked so cute when he was annoyed. She figured out who could be ringing. It must be Ranma.
Although why did he hang up on Kuno?
She had told Kuno that Ranma and Akane were having marital problems at the moment, so from time to time Ranma called her. There are times that he would call her at nights like these, when he reached the end of his tether. Which wasn't common. She noticed that he hasn't really called her this late anymore. She just figured they must have reconciled their differences.
"Hello?" She asked softly, careful not to disturb her husband.
"Nabiki?" Ranma's voice answered from the other line."Yeah, its me." She answered him as she got up from the bed and began to head towards the study.
"What's wrong Ranma?" She asked.
Ranma then began to relate his tale of angst to Nabiki. Nabiki sat on the leather couch with her legs tucked underneath as she listened intently, only interrupting him only to give her advice. Once they had passed the angsty part of the conversation, they try and forget the issue, by changing the subject to a much lighter conversation.
"Ranma was it you who rang before when Kuno-Chan picked up?" She asked wondering. There was a lengthy pause before he answered.
"Yeah" This caused Nabiki to frown.
"Why didn't you answer him and simply hanged up?" She asked rather curiously. She saw how irritated her husband was when he told her that the person just hanged up on him.
"I thought I dialled the wrong number?" He said hesitantly. There was no way he was going to tell her that calling her felt somewhat wrong.
Especially when Kuno picked up. She seemed to have accepted his reason though.
"I see." She said hiding the humour in her voice.
"Your laughing aren't you?" He asked her. He can just imagine her making fun of him.
"No I'm not, why do you say that Saotome?" She asked him playfully. To tell the truth, she was quite shocked that he knew she found his antics amusing.
"I don't know, I can just tell." He replied. He realised he was now smiling. He can actually picture Nabiki smiling in the other line. Not her usual smirk but a real smile.
"Trust you to be clueless." She teased.
"It's not my fault." He tried to defend himself which made her laugh.
It wasn't long till they began to talk about the past. They began to reminisce about the various stuff that happened. It also didn't take long till the conversation became more serious and more heavy.
"There was also another reason I called." He asked somewhat nervously and seriously. "What is it Ranma-kun?"
"I was hoping to talk to you"
"We're already talking Ranma." She teased him, in the hopes of lightening the conversation.
"Not like that but as in person." He replied. There he said it. He finally go it off of his chest. Nabiki frowned.
"What for?" It was a perfectly reasonable question to ask.
"I just want to talk to you in person, perhaps catch up on old times." He answered. There was something more to his answer than what he lead on and that made her panic.
Perhaps it has gotten much worst with Akane than she expected?
He seemed so desperately want some companionship.
Which made her wonder why?
Why of all people would he want to sought her companionship above all others?
She shook her head, he just wants to talk to someone. Someone to listen to him. She had been helping him through his problems. It is only natural that he wants to talk to her and seek out her company.
"Alright. Sure. Where would you like to meet?" She asked him.
"How about at Omi? Tomorrow morning?" He asked. Omi was a newly built coffee shop.
"Sure, I think I can spare the time." She answered him.
After talking about the meeting arrangements, they both said their farewells and hanged up. Nabiki went back to bed with mixture of excitement and dread. Unknown to her that Ranma also felt the same way, excitement and dread.
Author's Notes:
Well that's it for now... What do you think? Things will get really interesting as the next chapter is written...
I thought I should write about Akane's feelings since I've already written Nabiki, Ranma and Kuno's.
I originally planned to have Akane's feelings as a separate chapter entitled "Smile" as she portrays different smiles when she thought about her life, as you can tell from the story but I figured it will only drag the story even longer. Thus making this chapter longer than I anticipated...
Do you like how the story is progressing so far? Please send me review! Id really appreciate to know what you think of this fic. Till then.
Ja Ne,
(",)