Please allow me to begin this chapter with an announcement:

Rude reviews will not make me update any sooner. Cursing at me will only make me want to spite you and not update the story, punishing all my lovely reviewers that stay true to me. I apologize profusely that you are so dependant on your favorite stories being updated, but you all really must realize that I'm busier right now than I have ever been in my life.

In happier news: your authoress has been accepted to and is now enrolled in a private four-year college just outside Boston, Mass. It's Curry College, it's a great school and I'm so excited to be going there next year (for those of you wondering, I have no intention of giving up fanfiction. I fully intend on continuing, and it will be even easier for me because I will have my own computer (if I can figure out how to function a laptop properly, I have the worst time typing on those, lol). But anyway, that's my big news.

So I thoroughly apologize for the eagerness I possess to find out what I'm doing with my life and placing it higher on the priority scale than fan fic updates.

If any of you out there are willing to come live my life and stay up to par on fan fiction updates, be my guest. Otherwise, please deal with the long waits.

Sorry for the harshness of that announcement, I was beginning to get frustrated.

That being said, the long-awaited chapter 20 commences!

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Lily dashed through the winding halls and as far away from the classroom as she possibly could. Her usually pale face was flushed, and she pressed her hand to her forehead, breathing erratically. Collecting her thoughts, she slowly wound her way through the winding corridors back to the common room. She kept her eyes averted to the floor, not caring to pay particular attention to where she was going. A cold wind passed through the corridor and she shivered, looking up from the floor. The torches lining the stone walls flickered and diminished altogether within seconds, one by one until the dark consumed her. She managed to pull out hr wand with an unsteady hand, gripping it tightly as her heartbeat sped up and her entire body tensed. She heard a distinct thud behind her and she whirled around to face it, outstretching her wand and muttering "Lumos." Instead of the bright light she'd expected, however, the only thing she managed to produce was a wisp of smoke that faded as quickly as it had come. Knots formed in the pit of her stomach. Someone was there, she could feel it; and she was alone, in a dark hallway with a dysfunctional wand. On her guard, Lily rapidly turned her head from side to side. To her left, she saw a silhouetted figure walked toward her, its wand lit in front of its face.

Lily walked backwards as quickly and quietly as she could, trying to get out of the light's radius so she wouldn't be seen. Her plan was foiled when a ray of light reflected throughout the hall off of her Prefect badge. Whoever - or whatever it was, for that matter, knew she was there.

"Come on, Evans," a voice drawled, "Come on out, why don't you? I just want a chat."

Whoever that is, Lily mused, they are doing a wonderful job disguising their voice.

It was true, Lily had a hard time determining whether or not the intrusive figure was male or female, let alone who it was. Gaining her wits, she calmly attempted to straighten herself out.

"It is after curfew, you know," she said matter-of-factly, "And I'm very capable of reporting this to the Headmaster."

"Well being a Prefect myself, it would be difficult for him to prosecute me, don't you agree?"

Lily furrowed her eyebrows, "Who are you?"

"You mean you don't know? You know what they say, Evans. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer...and you can't even recognize my voice?"

"Enemies?" Lily bit her lip in thought for a moment, "What do you want from me, Bellatrix?"

"Aha," Bellatrix grinned slyly as the torches ignited again, "Now we're getting somewhere, aren't we?"

"What do you want?" Lily repeated.

"Don't play dumb, Evans, you're a smart girl. Stop messing about with Potter and content yourself to my cousin."

"I've no idea what you're talking about. James is only my friend."

"Like hell he is! If you don't stay away from him, you will be sorry. Mark it."

Lily's breath hitched in her throat, "Bellatrix, please. Just leave us alone."

"Evans, if you don't want all of Hogwarts to know of your...promiscuity, I suggest you stop!"

"Promiscuity? That's ridiculous!"

"Yes, well...no one needs to know that, do they?"

"Miss Black, Miss Evans," came Professor McGonagall's voice, "I realize that as Prefects, you fell it's your responsibility to patrol the corridors, but I assure you that you are the only ones up and about at this time of night. Now, if you'll please go back to your dormitories...quietly."

Lily looked up at her Professor's stern expression, "Of course. Goodnight, Professor."

With another contemptuous look at Bellatrix, Lily tucked her wand back into her robes and made her way back to Gryffindor tower, Bellatrix's words echoing in her head all the way.

She entered the common room, glancing over at where James, Sirius and Peter were engaged in a game of Exploding Snap. She furrowed her eyebrows, scanning the scarcely occupied room. Was Remus not back yet?

As if to answer her question, the portrait hole slammed open and Remus appeared, his face red and his eyes bloodshot.

"Remus? What's wrong?"

"Never mind, Lily, just...leave me alone."

"Remus, come back...what happened?"

"Lily," he growled, "What did I tell you? Just leave me alone!"

The few people that were still in the common room turned around to see what was going on. Sirius got up and approached the pair, but Lily held up her hand, "Sirius! Not now, go away."

Slightly hurt, Sirius backed off. When Lily turned back to Remus, he was already half way up to his dormitory.

"Remus!" Lily groaned, mustering her strength and running up after him. He entered his room and kicked the nearby bedside table, sitting on his bed and letting his head fall into his hands.

Lily sighed, approaching him timidly, "Remus?"

"Lily - you're not supposed to be in here. Just leave, I don't want to talk about it."

Lily ignored the request, sitting down next to him on his bed and resting her hand on his back.

"Did something happen with Susan?"

"Lily," Remus repeated, "I'm a monster. It was stupid of me to think that she would accept that, not everyone is like you, you know."

Lily frowned, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Oh Remus...what did she say?"

---

Flashback

"Remus? What's been going on with you lately? You've seemed so ill and tired all the time."

Remus sighed, looking down at his hands. "I - I'm not," he sighed, "What you might think I am."

Susan's forehead creased with concern, "What do you mean? It doesn't matter to me, Remus. Whatever it is, it's not...it's not important. I love you-"

He flushed, "Please don't say that now. Just listen. When I was eight, well, I used to live in the country, and I was out playing one night with my brother. It was getting late, and I wouldn't listen to my Mum, I wouldn't come inside. I was too far out, and something bit me, an animal or something. I went in and my Dad fixed me up, we didn't think it was a big deal. I was only a boy and I hadn't known what it was, I could barely see it in the darkness, anyway. So um, the next monthI started getting really sick and tired-"

"Like you are now?"

"Yes. It - it was a werewolf that bit me, Susan. I'm a werewolf."

She stared at him for a moment or two, frowning. "Why...why didn't you tell me before? That's not something - Merlin, Remus, how could you keep something like that from me?"

"I'm sorry, Susan! I wanted to tell you, I really did but-"

"Who else knows?" she asked hysterically, "Everyone I suppose?"

"No, no only James, Sirius, Peter and Lily, I swear."

"Lily knows, too? How long as Lily known? I can't believe you, Remus Lupin."

"No, I just told Lily tonight, she confronted me...Susan, please. You have to understand."

"I have to go. It's late."

"Susan-"

She looked at him and sighed, shaking her head before standing up and leaving the room.

End Flashback

---

"Remus I - I'm so sorry."

"You should be!" he roared, throwing his hands into the air as he stood up, beginning to pace the room, "You're the one that told me to tell her! You insisted! A lot of good that did. You swore that she wouldn't care that I'm, I'm..."

"Different? So what, Remus, so what! Susan loves you, she told you that, and I know you love her! Do you have any idea how lucky you are? She's just surprised and hurt right now, she'll get over it soon enough."

"What if she tells people, Lily? Nobody can know about this, I'll have to leave the school. I can't leave here, Lily, it's my home."

"Remus, I know Susan. She won't tell anyone. She may be hurt, but she isn't mean. I promise, your secret is safe with her. I'll talk to her tomorrow for you, if you'd like me to. I feel just awful about all this."

"Don't say that. Listen, I shouldn't have blamed you. I'm sorry."

Lily managed a small smile, "You'll be okay, Remus."

"Remus?"

Both Remus and Lily turned around to face where James was standing at the door.

"I'm fine, Prongs," Remus smiled, looking at Lily knowingly, "I'll be in the common room."

He got up and left, brushing by James on the way out.

"Hi," Lily smiled softly, keeping her eyes on the floor.

"Hey," he replied, "Is...Remus okay?"

"He'll be fine," Lily assured him, "Erm-"

James walked over to her, swiftly cutting her off with a kiss.

"Lily I have to tell you something."

She looked up at him, her knees beginning to buckle, "James, don't."

"No, just let me...Lily, I love you."

She froze, biting her lip, "James, I-" she sighed.

"Do you love me?"

She felt her eyes fill with tears, "I, James, I..."

"Lily," James said earnestly, placing his hands on her shoulders, "Just answer me."

"James...I don't love you."

He frowned, and she felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. Why had she lied? What made her lie to him?

"Oh...oh, I thought that...never mind, I'm an arse, of course you don't love me."

Lily sighed, finding her voice, "I'd better go."

"Yeah I'll, er, see you."

Lily left the room quickly without looking back, sprinting across the hall to the girl's dormitory. She opened the door and flung herself onto her bed, violently yanking the surrounding curtains shut.

"Lily, are you okay?"

She jumped, turning over, "Oh, hi Alice," she coughed, clearing her throat, "I didn't know anyone was here."

"Lily," Alice sighed, opening the curtain enough to let her through and sit on her bed, "Lily what's wrong?"

"I think I'm ill," she replied generically, her face buried in her arms.

"Liar," Alice accused, "What happened? I saw you talking to Remus downstairs, is everything all right?"

"It's not Remus."

"Is it Sirius?"

"No...it's not Sirius either."

"James! It has to be James, then!"

"James?" Lily gasped, "How do you know about James?"

Alice flushed, "Er, Frank saw you two in the Entrance Hall and he asked me about it, if I knew anything, and I said I had no idea..."

"Oh Alice," Lily sighed, "Please don't tell anyone about this. It's all such a mess."

"I thought James was dating Bellatrix, though?"

"He is, but he...he just told me that he's in love with me," she flushed crimson, "But Bellatrix told me if I ever went near him again..."

"She threatened you?"

Lily sighed in response. "I'd give anything for it to be a couple months ago. Everything is such a mess right now."

"Everything will be fine," Alice assured, "Just - get some rest, you'll feel worlds better in the morning."

"I hope so," Lily groaned, "Goodnight."

---

Sorry that one was shorter, I had to cut the chapter in two halves because there was a weird transition - hopefully the next chapter will be out soon to make up for the long wait from this one. I'm on vacation this coming week, so I'll have time I reckon.

Ok...I have a lot of reader responses, so I'm not going to give everyone comments, just the ones that I need to answer questions...your name will be printed in bold at the bottom though to thank you. I just can't do that many responses, I got so far behind!

friticatized - Long time no speak! You were the first one to review the last chapter what, 3 months ago? Jeez I've been bad...hope you're still reading!

Gwendolyn James - staggers under the weight of the cookies. BTW, I saw Pride and Prejudice...mmm Colin -D.

Zaq - I'm not afraid to make some of my characters (Remus, in the case) out of character at times. It was just part of my building up to the events in this chapter.

Ruinsul - You reviewed like every chapter...KUDOS! Oh and for the record, I agree...I LOVE Bellatrix. She is one of my favorite charcaters (even though she committed the deed we don't speak of). I feel like she just has so much depth to her.

OjkPadfoot1987 - I loved Bridget Jones 2...lots of Colin. I also saw Pride and Prejudice (I had to read it for English class and I was like hmm, maybe I'll watch this?). Glad you enjoyed!

Sweet 16 Movie Buff - I don't know what to say. You rock? James is always cute? Rock on.

Brighton Baby - No hard feelings whatsoever, and I'm glad you're still reading! I actually stopped beta-ing altogether. I like my work as it is, I've decided, and I get anxious to post it right away. I'm picky enough can criticize my own stuff -D.

Lozzie - You're nuts, I loved that you left me like 18,468,830 reviews with compliments, that rocks.

winky-wink - YES! A L/J-er. Most of the reviews for this story are L/S, since it's what the story started off as.

skinnyrita - Wooo! Thanks, so glad to find out that I've remained in your faves...that's actually I good idea, perhaps I should do some spring cleaning, too, heh.

Indy-Erin-Ericka - Well it's just me now, Dan has quit on me, but thanks! Lol..

FullMoon-insanity, Loveable, Hawaiian-Rachael, Hannah C. Thaw, beck, nimnom, Miss Lady Padfoot, xgirlyx, Dsdaizy, tiara, erin black.