Returning to Simplicity: A Self Insertion Story
Part One: Trite Truelove Triangle
Chapter Two
By: Cornel Kennedy

With the progress of Konoho changing, it can be hard to find my way to the main building. Main roads have been blocked and alley ways have led me astray. This is the reason I have arrived in the main building in the early hours of the morning. Even when I close the door behind me, I still hear the reconstruction. The hallway is dark and lined with families who have lost their homes. I know most of the good spots have been taken, and I slowly stalk through the hallways looking for a place to sleep. My search has left me with my hand on the woman's washroom. The room is bright, but would be the only place for me to lie down to rest. Even a strong old man with long hair snores as he rolls over the counter that is built into the wall with the sinks. He is the second Sennin that I have had the displeasure to meet, and I hope the last one too. I rest up on the same wall as him and to the corner so he is out of my view. "Only the most skilled ninjas have caught me in a compromising position."

"It's only chance," I respond.

"Listen," Jiraiya groans, "I am not in the mood to talk."

When I wake up, a crowd of angry women glare down at me. In the bunch, a punch comes; dulls my vision. I wake up again, sore and with blurry vision. My hand flops to the floor and hits the hard tile but I am numb. Around me, the women's washroom has turned into a social gathering. I pick up my blood soaked hat and remove myself from the crowd room. Today, Naruto is going to recognize Hinata.

Out in the hall, a few specks of green float around, and Jiraiya is reading from his book, 'Cum, Cum Paradise'. "That is the end of that chapter," he says and the audiences claps. Most of the women whisper in eachother ears and even the men hide their smirks under a hand. Jiraiya slams the book close and a gust of air rejuvenates a falling speck near his nose. The sound from this action had caused everyone to quit their giggling and pay attention. "What the audiences wants in a romantic story is the switch of the love interest to the overlooked admirer. I, Jiraiya, hereby give permission to make this chapter a trite truelove triangle!" and he vanishes to appear next to me. In a swift turn, I am facing him bent down in a huddle. "Now you know the rules. Know your triangle well. By the way," he adds, "add a drop of perverseness for me."

---

The short blue haired girl for whom I have been searching stands next to the silence Shino sitting on the back of his feet looking down at a colony of bugs. The bugs, honestly, bore me with their scurrying and ordering. Their actions did not differ from the people of Konoho. Both had purpose and that would merit importance. If I were to be noticed, then I would have to perform my purpose that twists a knot in my gut as Hinata peers over me and smiles with a small downward twitch, that bitch, which does snitch the switch of a smile to a frown. I conclude that she found me awfully weird considering she had spent her time with a person crawling with bugs and another who talked to his dog.

"We have not been properly introduced, Hinata," I tell her, "my name is Cornel."

"Hmm..." Hinata looks down at Shino but he sits like a statue, "what do you want?"

"This isn't about me," I act modestly for an instant, "but however, I want to get tons of reviews."

"Why don't you publish the fanfiction you keep under your pillow?" Shino asks. The people who found out about that bound yet renowned fanfiction confound me and I drop down to the ground.
"This meeting is about Hinata," I urge this point, "and what she wants."

"Naruto." Shino calls the odds and nods. A meek mouse shriek emits and admits her guilt with her hands clapped like paws over her static face dramatic and fanatic. Her hands shake of ache so I hold her hand cold and fold to take her to the lake. I put her down and cup in my hand some water to splash in her face. The pale returns to her face as I had swore I could have seen through it.

"Is it that obvious," Hinata asks. Her fur cuff wipes her face of the drips that drop at the few tips of her mostly round features. "It would be nice if he would recognize you."

"Why you're very shy by this guy, but you can be clever," I say, "by helping him get Sakura."

"Sakura!" Hinata puffs her face up and sticks her hands between her knees. Her mouth has shunk to a size of a coin and through her regress she protests: "Don't - wantta - help her."

Her big moon eyes soon commune in close shut lids she forbids the idea. She's a bouncing girl trouncing my announcing the plan to can her man. I had not known she alone could've shown her emotions.

"Hey," I say, "today you pray that may you sway with no delay with Naruto, but nay, feelings decay, never stay to not betray our way. Anyway, everyday is quite okay if we obey the world's cliche."

"I guess I'll try it," Hinata's face turns back into an imperfect circle, "but why did you rhyme?"

"It's annoying," I say, "but I wanted to see if you were paying attention."

"I guess I can listen to your plan." Hinata said.

"First, we have to dress you up and buy a fan of the Uchiha family. Next you will find Naruto, and lie to him by saying that you want to help him get Sakura so that Sasuke will be free to date you. Dress him up, and get him after Sakura with your help." I explain to her as she writes down notes. "This will do two things by law of the trite truelove triangle. First, Naruto will recognize you, grow attached to your company. Secondly, he will see how easy it is to talk to you and be with you so he wouldn't pass up a chance to date a girl who was interested in Sasuke. Nothing can go wrong."

---

The sun was setting and I had finished preparing Hinata to get Naruto. I wait in a mellow of rolling hills for Hinata to give me the good word. My vision starts to develop bubbles all around the area and I wave my hand in front of my face. I drop my hand down slowly as Hinata runs over the hill in slow motion. In fact, all of this area has slowed down and I remember Jiraiya words about knowing the triangle and how things work. Hadn't I recently helped Hinata obtain Naruto? Am I excluded from the rules of matchmaking?

The scenery has turned silly has a group of ninjas cheer Hinata on and her Kurenai hands her a paper cup of water that she throws into her face and continues to run. Escaping from her, I turn around and see Jiraiya giving me two thumbs up with a big grin. I could tell in a moment I would be involved with the greatest sin of fanfiction writing: a character of the series falling in love with a self insertion. I had missed all of the signs, but they were all there to predict this backfiring. This wrist slitting twist!

It may have seem like a few minutes, but the chase had lasted about a few seconds before her ninja speed caught up to my turning around. In typical fashion, we roll down the hill together in disregard of the sharp hard rocks that hit against my body and tear off my hat. The pain causes me to scream out to drown out her playful laughter.

When we stop, my eyes bounce side to side and Hinata stands above me holding my hands jumping up and down. Being much older and a long time since I have ever turned around more than one repeatively, I turn my head and throw up.

Mission... failed
The End

If you are reading this, you should have known what should have happened after the first part.