|For Better or Worse, We're Stuck
Author: tragicladypirate PM
The Ministry gives Sirius one chance at freedom. He'll finally be able to be the father Harry never had. But there's a catch. To get that he must do the unthinkable. Marry his worst enemy, Severus Snape. Can he bare it, even if it is for Harry's sake?Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Severus S. & Sirius B. - Chapters: 18 - Words: 49,290 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 06-28-09 - Published: 06-26-04 - Status: Complete - id: 1933003
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own any of this, only the ideas to which I credit myself. Harry Potter itself is not mine and I make no attempt to gain any profit from this other than self-satisfaction.
A/N: This is it. The final chapter of For Better or Worse, We're Stuck. I can still remember starting this fanfiction and how much I enjoyed writing it. Now it is time to do them justice and bring it to a close after many years, too many, of procrastination. And it is time for slash. This last chapter is a bit more serious than others and WILL CONTAIN SLASH.
Rating: This chapter I will designate as LIME. This means it's nothing too graphic. There will be sex, but not very explicit. Don't want to try to take on the big dogs this early on, do I? :]…
Severus took a dazed look around the small enclosure he had been pushed into as Sirius fumbled with the door. The undeniably small room provided more than enough room to move around but was anything but roomy. Most of the space was taken up with shelves housing towels, bathrobes, soap, bath salts and the like. Severus barely had time to process his new surroundings before Sirius was back, his lips claimed fiercely once again.
Sirius sharp intake of breath as their mouths connected was enough to take Severus's own breath away. For several moments, the only thing he was aware of was the warmth and wetness of Sirius's tongue, lapping at the inside of his mouth, flickering in and out like fire as he could only succumb, almost numb with the severity of this… raw passion.
Sirius felt a low guttural growl in his throat, as he reached out and pushed Severus forcibly against the wall, never breaking contact, despite his increasing need for air. Severus moaned and arched his back with pleasure as Sirius began moving his mouth to his jaw, his collarbone, and finally his neck. Small kisses turned to open-mouthed caresses and bites, as Sirius let himself become more and more consumed with urgency.
Pulling away to breathe, Sirius surveyed the man before him. Openly panting now as well, his eyes glazed, his lips and neck looking claimed and bruised, Sirius never felt more like an animal than he did at this moment. Being an Animagus, this was an amazing feat. This primal need for Severus resounded throughout his body as strongly as any animal instinct he had ever felt while in his form. 'I haven't had sex since James and Lily died,' the thought surfaced through the chaos.
For twelve years, Sirius had been in isolation in Azkaban, shut away from any sort of sexual activity other than what his own hands could provide. For another year still he was on the run until the Ministry had awarded him his freedom, only to pair him with the person he most despised, Severus. Still at this point, Sirius was helpless to pent up the repressed feelings that had threatened to burst out, nor did he want to. His entire being was screaming for him to obey and his body burning for release.
Deciding there was too much clothing between them, Sirius began to disrobe Severus as quickly as his overcharged body could make his shaky fingers manage. Outer robes were soon on the floor, inner clothing abandoned among a few stray pearl buttons and what was left of Severus's favorite robe.
Finally completely bare in front of each other, Sirius's urgency allowed him little time to savor it. In ardent desperation, he flipped Severus so that he faced the wall and began fumbling through the shelves nearby.
"What-what are you doing?" Severus managed, feeling an astonishing loss of equilibrium as Sirius's hands left his body.
"I need s-something to," Sirius managed, weakly, through gasps of air, "Maybe this-it's the closest I can find." In his hands he held a bottle labeled Johnson's No More Tears Baby Shampoo: Wizard Edition.
If the situation hadn't been so serious, the air in the room so saturated with lust, Severus would have laughed out loud. Instead, he offered a weak chuckle, "It does say 'No Tears'," he assented.
Sirius managed a smile, slicking up his hands and running them over his hardness. Wordlessly, ignoring the distant warning bells in his head, Severus prepared himself and was unable to stop himself from crying out as Sirius entered him from behind. Although quite used to pain, like any former Death Eater, Severus was not accustomed to the surging sensations he felt as Sirius moved inside him. Sirius, unable to stifle his own moans, drove deeper into Severus, drunk on the feelings coursing throughout his body. His hands tangled behind the back of Severus's head, the faint peppermint smell coming back to him, as he buried his fingers in the dark hair.
Severus's hips moved with Sirius's thrusts and Sirius felt himself near the edge as the other man called out his name. Reaching around and taking Severus in his hands, Sirius moved with him until he could take it no longer. "Sev," he growled, "so good." The same urgency and insistency coursed through them, as Sirius felt his hands grow warm and wet and felt himself come apart in someone for the first time in more than a decade. Shuddering, Sirius could do no more than lean heavily against the other man's back, his body shaking and covered in sweat.
Both men slumped to the floor and for several minutes they could do no more than try to regain their breath and composure. They'd spent themselves utterly. The spell was broken. Neither said a word.
Sirius, still dazed and in the process of coming back down to Earth, stared after Severus who was dressing hastily, salvaging what he could of his clothing and turning towards the door.
"W-where are you going?" Sirius asked, realization beginning to sink in.
"Anywhere, away from you," Severus said, the disgust in his voice more than apparent. It hit Sirius like a slap in the face. The door slammed in Sirius's face which was quickly becoming an amazing shade of red with anger. Still partially dressed, Sirius pulled on his robe and charged after Severus.
His face burning with humiliation and fuming with rage, Severus stormed through the house. 'How could you?' he accused himself. He was surprised to see the guests still in the parlor as he passed it and noticed with unease it had been little under a half hour since Harry had made his speech.
'Amazing isn't it? How little time it takes to completely ruin your life and royally fuck yourself over?' he thought, gritting his teeth as he forced himself upstairs into his room. He slammed the door and locked it, then strode over to his wardrobe. He hastily grabbed the closest robe, snarling to himself as it failed to cover the bruises adorning his neck and collarbone. Severus's thought of whether it would be less mortifying to attempt healing them or to wear one of his trademark black turtlenecks was broken by a rumbling cry of Alohomora that sent the door quivering on its hinges.
A disheveled Sirius entered the room, the complete antithesis of the composed and elegant wizard that had left this room only a few hours ago. "What in the hell is your problem!?" he raged, his wand still clenched angrily in his fist.
Severus struggled to maintain his emotions, donning the well used mask of indifference that had served him so well. "I have no idea to what you are referring," he said coldly, "Now if you will kindly leave so I can continue to dress, as was my intent before I was so rudely interrupted-"
"Don't give me that!" Sirius said, raising his voice, "We need to talk about what just happened back there!"
"As far as I am concerned Black, nothing happened," Severus said with calculated indifference. 'The alternative is too much for me to bare' he thought. "I have to get back downstairs," he continued, attempting to sidestep the other man with little success.
Sirius blew a strand of hair out of his face and laughed bitterly. "Of course," he said, "How could I have forgotten? Aloof, distant, unfeeling, ever formal Snivellus always has to get his way." Severus's remark had hit him harder than he let on and he couldn't help the vengeful words from coming out of his own mouth.
Severus stiffened at the sound of the old hostile nickname and felt his anger resurge despite his forced coldness. "Don't. You. Dare." He said, slowly, reaching for his own wand. "Or what?" Sirius quipped, unable to stop once he had started. "Will you kill me? Like that wouldn't you! Go ahead and try, I'll get us out of this marriage one way or another, your body or mine." Sirius shouted, astounded by the amount of rage he was now feeling.
Hesitant, Severus changed his course of action. With a flick of his wand, Severus cast a Silencing Charm on the room around them. Severus lowered his wand and grimaced. "Lower your voice," he growled. "One again Black you have proven yourself to be more inept than I thought possible," he spat, "Did it ever occur to you that everything is not about you?" he opened the door and made to leave for a second time.
"Oh how very well played," Sirius called after him, causing Severus to pause. "Just like you. Always running away, always behind this detached exterior. Why don't you say what you feel for once so that others can understand?? You bloody coward!" he shouted, his voice shaking slightly, but louder than Severus had ever heard it, "I'VE HATED YOU SINCE THE MOMENT I SAW YOU!!" Sirius raged, literally seeing red at this point.
"EXACTLY!" Severus thundered, turning back to Sirius and striding toward him, his black eyes blazing. They were silent for a moment as Sirius allowed Severus's words to sink in, trying to grasp their meaning.
Severus, attempting to quell his blood, which was boiling with fury, felt his control and composure snap. His mask of indifference had utterly shattered, perhaps for the first time in his life. "Ever since the day I set foot on the Hogwarts Express, you despised me! What have I done to EVER warrant the treatment you and your precious Marauder friends dealt out on me?"
"You were a complete wanker! What did you expect the way you always followed us, to get us in trouble! You were always walking around like you had a stick up your arse and—"
"I think any comments on what has been or was up my 'arse' are unwise at this point! Seeing as how you now fit into that category." Severus shot back. Sirius flushed pink for a moment, then regained his composure undeterred. "You tried to get Remus caught and expelled!" Sirius cried, "We gave you what you deserved!"
"What I deserved? You sent me to the Whomping Willow and almost got me killed! Did I deserve that?"
"You seem to forget that less than two years you were more than happy to turn me over for the Dementor's Kiss!" Sirius roared, the notion that had been nagging at him for months finally surfacing. "You aren't as innocent as you make yourself out to be!"
Severus gritted his teeth in anger. "I couldn't have done it," he said truthfully with extreme force, almost to himself, "Because all I ever wanted," he hissed "was to be like you. To be your friend. You're the heir to the most prominent and ancient of pure-blood houses. Your family's ancestors all but dominated Slytherin for centuries. Since childhood, all anyone has done is sing your praises. I arrive at Hogwarts and you ridicule me for being the very thing you were SUPPOSED to be," he muttered, his eyes narrowed, "You turn out to be this Gryffindor Golden Boy, arrogant, reckless, stubborn, and cocky, but brave and loyal. You had both sexes tripping over themselves to be with you, to be near you. So popular. So undeniably handsome," he spat.
"You were everything I wasn't and everything that I wanted to be…everything I wanted to have," he blurted out, his knuckles turning white as he clenched his fists, hoping to contain himself, knowing he was too far gone for that. "And you went out of your way to make my life miserable!" he screamed, his fist connecting with Sirius's face before he even had time to register the action.
Sirius stumbled then took a step back. Despite having several pounds and a stronger build than the somewhat thin, pale man before him , this very man was quivering with years of built-up anger and Sirius felt no need to retaliate. The sheer anguish radiating from Severus was enough to make him feel a pang of guilt. "You were everything my family stood for," Sirius said quietly, not meeting Severus's eyes. "I hated most of my relatives including my mother and father," his hand rested on the doorway, "and my family's pure-blood elitism would drive me from this very house when I was sixteen."
He looked up at Severus finally, their eyes locking and holding. "No, I never bothered to get to know you. It was easier to hate you without getting to know you. I was wrong for that. Now that I have, I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner. You have a lot of good in you." Severus felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. "W-what?" he asked, his anger deflating.
"I understand now. I'm saying that I'm sorry. For everything. As I'm sure you are too. As I'm sure James would be," he added, looking Severus over and closing in on the distance between them, "We were all just dumb kids growing up to fight something so much bigger than us that we couldn't possibly comprehend it. We both had unhappy childhoods and both had our lives lead us in unexpected ways. You aren't without fault, but I had no right to be so cruel to you."
"I'm sure we can work through it," Sirius continued in almost in a whisper, edging still closer to Severus, "Just as I'm sure we'll be able to make it up to each other."
"Why—why would we do that?" Severus asked, struggling to speak over the lump forming in his throat.
"Because I'm fairly sure that I am falling in love with you," Sirius said gently, "and because the possibility that you feel the same way is overwhelming."
Severus gasped, his entire body tingling at these words, as Sirius leaned in and kissed him. "I don't know what happened in the dining room, but I'm glad for whatever it was." His pale eyed locked with Severus's dark ones for the umpteenth time. "Please," he whispered, wrapping his arms around him and leading him backwards toward the bed, "Let me make it up to you."
Severus put up little protest as he was disrobed for the second time that day. His hands snaked around Sirius's neck and he cursed himself silently. 'You're a bloody fool for still wanting this…wanting him…HIM…after everything…'
Sirius eased himself into a kneeling position and slowly took Severus into his mouth. The warmth and pulsating of Severus's heartbeat in his ears temporarily hushed any doubts that sprang up in his mind. The delicate, soft tongue curving its way around him forced Severus's nails to dig insistently into Sirius. He savors the feeling of the occasional brush of teeth and the tenderness implicit in this single action. "Sirius!" Severus moaned, unable to remain silent and thankful for the Silencing Charm he'd erected for an entirely different purpose.
The mouth that was moment's ago wrapped around Severus met his own. The stubble of Sirius's face brushes harshly against Severus own smooth cheeks, and Sirius trails soothing kisses up and down the inflamed love bites he created less than an hour ago. "Say it," Sirius requested, his eyes a mixture of teasing and concern. "I want to know if I am the only one who—" he broke off worriedly, then continued moving lower to the chest and stomach as Severus's breath quickened, "If this is one-sided then…I need you to say so."
Severus struggled to focus on the Sirius from his early years, the Sirius he had grown to despise. The days he'd been picked on and the nights he'd spent crying himself to sleep. 'This is your chance,' part of his brain, hissed, 'You can make him pay. Make him suffer.' Deny him. Hurt him. What sweet revenge.
But the rational part of his brain could only recall the newly found and tentative friendship, the longing he'd always felt to some extent but denied. The whisper of "It's your house too you know" as Sirius's eyes searched his. Narcissa's voice, gently reiterating her words from the dinner: "I can tell by the way he looks at you that he cares about you very much. Have you not noticed? His eyes follow you wherever you go, and he never lets you out of his sight." Holding Sirius's hand after he had fallen asleep each night. His mind turned to Harry and Draco, school rivals now so very much in love.
Reciprocated love was something Severus had never experienced before and something he barely dared hope for now. Teetering on indecision seeing the look on Sirius's face, of hope barely subdued, Severus realized there was no other course of action but the truth. As shattering and terrifying as it may be.
Sirius lightly kissed Severus's inner thigh, nudging at the warm skin with his nose and mouth and running his hands up and down Severus's hardness, his heart pounding and yearning terribly for the words he hoped Severus was able to feel and admit to.
Severus noticed Sirius's eye was beginning to swell where he had hit him. It felt as if an electric shock had gone through his heart at the sight. "Gods Sirius," he breathed, "I think-I think I have for a long time. It's hard to admit…I…don't want to be without you. Or without this," he said, almost inaudibly. Sirius smirked "I was right about the possibility then," he said, lowering his head. "I think—I love you," Severus managed, just barely before the Animagus took him into his mouth again, shutting off all higher brain functioning. Sirius groaned contentedly at the anticipated words, taking Severus deeper into his mouth than he had thought possible, delighted at the sounds this action created.
Afterwards, the two lay in bed caressing and exploring each other's bodies. It was a gentle, tranquil process that left each wizard feeling warm and comforted. Severus entwined his fingers with Sirius, for the first time while each was awake. Oblivious to everything else, Severus felt the physical and emotional exhaustion of the day overtake them both as Severus basked in the thankful waves of happiness he couldn't define.
Sirius woke with a start. 'The party!' Shaking Severus awake quickly, Sirius began straitening his robes and running a hand through his hair as a makeshift comb. Almost instantly, Severus was on his feet and next to him as they hurriedly left the bedroom, heading towards the parlor.
"I don't think we should tell them just yet," Sirius said, glancing at Severus for confirmation. "There's been a lot of excitement today and I don't really know how Harry will react, us hooking up and ditching him at his own birthday party, Gods! That's exactly what happened isn't it? So we have to—"
"Be discrete about it," Severus said, a small amount of sadness unable to be hidden in his tone. Sirius stopped and turned toward the black haired man. "I'm not ashamed of you…or of what happened," he said, his eyes searching Severus's, "I'm—I'm just not sure how to go about it or what the repercussions with be." He paused and hesitantly pulled the other man into an embrace. "Gods, I've been alone and so…lonely…for so long. That I don't even know—"
"How to proceed." Severus finished. "I understand," he added, tightening the embrace and pulling away. Just as Harry burst around the corner.
"There you are!" Harry cried, nearly given both men simultaneous heart attacks. "Where HAVE you been?" he cried, grabbing them by the arm and leading them into the other room, "All the guests are gone and I couldn't find you anywhere!"
"Oh," said Sirius, pawing through his mental book of excuses, "Well we were with Fudge! We were um--" Sirius fumbled, "Discussing our new living arrangements at Hogwarts! Yes! About how I'll be rooming with Severus in the dungeons so-"
"And I suppose it was Fudge who gave Sev all those hickeys then was it?" Harry asked mockingly, his face grinning. Severus turned white as a sheet. 'We forgot to heal them! And this damn robe isn't anywhere near covering them!'
Sirius, at a loss and cornered, froze and stared blank-faced at his godson. "Well—I—Harry--" he coughed. "We—um didn't—that is to say… errr…" Harry shot him a devious look.
"Wait." Sirius's eyes narrowed, as if trying to analyze something and Harry laughed aloud. Sirius, unable to contain his laughter, doubled over shaking with laughter until his sides ached. "You—you!" Sirius laughed, pulling Harry into a noogie, "You had something to do with this didn't you? You little bugger!"
Harry beamed, still chortling at how perfectly the situation had unfolded. "Perhaps…" he said. "I did have help." Lucius and Draco coyly emerged each silently admiring their handiwork. Narcissa, the last guest of the celebration, strode over to Lucius and locked hands with him. "I told you Severus. Sometimes the Ministry does know what it's doing." She smiled gently, "You just needed a little help. I was the one who reminded Luce about the love arrows."
Draco whirled on his father. "You said it was all your idea!" Lucius blushed. "Well—it was my idea to ask Narcissa for help. So in a way, it was." He smiled. "We're such a beautiful couple," he sighed, "in more ways than one." He added vainly, with a toss of his hair.
"Love arrows?" Severus interjected, his voice raising. "I hope these are not the arrows of old to which you are referring? The ones that have just as much a chance of resulting mood swings, paranoia, and exploding genitalia as they do of inspiring feelings of love?" Lucius grinned. "The possible benefits far outweighed the risks," he said simply. "You needed a push to get things started. So we pushed you." Still slightly flabbergasted, neither man could come up with a counterargument for that.
Sirius paused. "Harry," Sirius croaked, looking at his godson, "I hope this—I mean," he cleared his throat, "This doesn't change anything. I'll still always be here for you."
Harry smiled gently and wrapped his arms around his godfather. He pulled away and looked seriously into his face. "I think," he said, softly, "That my father would approve. I want you to be happy. Like I'm happy," he said, tossing Draco an affectionate gaze, "And I want us to be a family," his eyes trailed over to Severus.
"I know—I know we got off on the wrong foot," Harry said, "And I know how you felt about my father…but…" he bit his lip, unsure as to how to continue. Severus, steeling himself, took a hesitant step forward, "But circumstances have changed." He finished, touching Harry's shoulder. "I can't say I haven't become at least a little fond of you, bigheaded Gryffindor or not," he eyed Sirius, speaking as much to him as to Harry, "And I think I'm ready to let old demons and grudges rest."
Sirius cleared his throat for the second time and looked away, blinking furiously. Sirius inched toward Draco as Severus and Harry exchanged a quiet conversation. 'Harry, you really are so much more than a child. I'll always be here, we'll always be family, but I can't hang onto you forever.'
"Draco?" Sirius asked, two pairs of pale eyes meeting, "Did you mean it? Or was it just a distraction?"
Draco felt the corners of his mouth turn up. He looked at his father, his mother, and at his boyfriend. "I meant it," he said, pulling out a small ring, made of intertwining gold and silver and adorned with a tasteful green serpent head. Harry and Lucius both drew their breath in simultaneously. "Good Gods, that's the Malfoy crest. The ring Draco is entitled to as heir." Lucius breathed. "You're—you're serious."
Harry eyed his godfather warily. "As Harry's guardian," Sirius began, "I give you consent to court and bond with my godson, after you reach legal age. Under Harry's consent?" Sirius raised an eyebrow at Harry.
"I think I feel a swoon coming on," Harry said, everyone chuckling, "I—yes, of course you have my consent." Draco presented him with the ring and Harry slipped it onto his hand gratefully. They shared a silent kiss as Lucius approached Sirius.
"It appears we are going to be family then," he quipped, raising a blonde eyebrow at Sirius and Severus, "All of us." He paused. "A Potter-Black-Malfoy alliance would be a strong one…although it is sure to confound some members of the community," he smiled, thinking of the faces of the Weasely's. " I can't detest it."
" I can't pretend I haven't become used to your company," Sirius said, extending his hand. "Neither can I deny the same," Lucius said, taking his hand. "For all of you."
On the other side of the room Severus pulled Narcissa into a hug. "Thank you," he whispered. She smiled and nodded.
The emotion of the moment was broken by Lucius. "Do you know what this means?" he asked, struggling to keep his voice in check.
"That we're stuck with the lot of you for life?" Sirius asked, smirking at Severus, who snickered.
"No, no," Lucius said, with a shake of his head, "That there's going to be ANOTHER WEDDING!!!!!!!" he squealed happily.
Everyone groaned. "At least I won't have to wear a dress this time," Draco mused. "Let's not be too hasty now," Harry snorted, "That is yet to be seen! You are operating under the assumption that The Boy Who Lived is going to wear the wedding dress." Draco groaned, seeing his father's eyes light up. "It's just a never-ending cycle isn't it?" Harry laughed and ruffled Draco's hair, making the blonde jump up and squeal in protest.
Sirius smiled and snaked an arm around Severus's waist. "Glad we're going to be rooming together at Hogwarts?" Severus couldn't help but smile. "Very. It's going to be interesting…to say the least."
" We'll have to try and keep this lot in check," Sirius pointed out, gesturing around the room. "And you still have a lot of how did you put it? Making it up to me to, did you say?" Severus added. Sirius blushed, and Severus whispered suggestively in his ear. "Oh don't worry," Sirius said with a smirk, "I think I have enough ideas to last both our lifetimes," He proclaimed, pulling Severus in for a harsh kiss, a demonstration of things to come.
A/N: Sequel? Ha. As if it didn't take me forever to finish this. Anyway. I have never written or read a Severus/Sirius so it was interesting for me to try and get them together. Having written this one, I think it is a pairing I will examine in more depth and maybe even visit again. Thanks for reading :)