A

Perfect Sonnet

Lately I’ve been wishing I had one desire

Something that would make me never want another

Something that would make it so that nothing mattered

All would be clear again.

Chapter 1 One Desire

How had it come to this? The unlimited possibilities of his fate had rolled up into a single existence. He had gone through the trials, and he had ended up with a destiny he had never even thought possible. Was that all life was? Was it a streaming existence of memories and experiences through your heart that led to the inevitable fate of losing everything? …Or he supposed it could be gaining everything, depending entirely upon how you looked at it.

He stretched his hands out to the ground, and he could almost imagine crystal white sand pouring unnoticed from his fingertips. Would he ever see that sand again? Did he want to? It seemed that the darkness had spread too far to ever be basking in the glow of that light again. Even though they tried to convince him it was over, he knew that the darkness within his heart would never truly go away. It was as much a part of him as the one now holding him.

“Stop thinking about it.” The voice filtered into his ears as he crawled deeper into the warmth of the body he had spent all night with. That voice always seemed to knock him to his senses…it always seemed to bring him back from the edge.

“Stop thinking about what?” He heard himself ask, playing with the bed sheets that he had let himself be convinced were granules of sand from the beach. If he pretended enough, could he make it possible?

“The past.” That voice stated, sounding much more troubled than he was allowing himself to seem. “It’s over now Riku…forget it ever happened.” Forget? How could that even be possible? Even now the memories were floating to the surface of the clear blue water he would most likely never see again. It had all happened….One. Year. Ago.

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“Riku!” The voice barraged his senses, making the silver haired boy sit up from his tree with a start. He couldn’t believe he had allowed himself to fall into that deep of a sleep. The oddest part of all was what he had dreamt of. A voice had spoken to him, a terribly cold sinister one, and yet it had promised him happiness. It had promised that soon all of his dreams would come true…once he opened the door. “Riku are you listening to me!?” The voice once more bellowed, and forgetting that he was even there Riku quickly turned his eyes so that they settled on the brunette teenager who was currently sticking his lip out in a pout.

“Sorry Sora…I kinda spaced out.” He replied to his best friend, never being able to take his eyes off that lip that seemed much too devious for his liking. “What’s up?” He asked, but seeing as how Sora had already taken out the wooden practice swords they had spent hours making as youths he would say he already knew the answer.

“Spar with me.” He commanded, whipping the wooden sword into a fighting position, leaving no room for argument from the pale haired teenager that would undoubtly do everything he said…he always had.

Riku scoffed, jumping down from his island and grabbing his own toy weapon. “Do you really want to go against me? Don’t you know it always ends up with you on your knees begging for mercy?” He had no idea why, but for some reason at that statement the brunette blushed, actually turning a nice shade of crimson before he attack with more venom than he would have thought was possible out of his childhood friend.

He barely had time to block the upcoming strike, wincing at the force of the impact as he swung around, barely avoiding the next attack that was aimed right at his kidneys. He swung his sword back, hitting Sora’s hand as he ran to the other side of the island to get his bearings. What had gotten into him today? They always fought, but he had never seen Sora with such passion in his eyes before.

Just seeing such a look got a smirk to align Riku’s face…this was going to be fun. Gritting his teeth, he spun through the air, coming down to slam into Sora’s barely raised sword, loving the look of surprise on the face of his infatuation. Would he look that surprised if he found out what he really thought of him?

Now wasn’t the time to think of such things, because Sora had parried his attack, swinging at his legs and actually connecting with his right ankle, throwing him off balance as he kicked from one foot to another to avoid the second attack. He was really off his game. As a matter of fact he might actually lose this round unless he took drastic measures…and he planned to.

Grinning, Riku ran forward, smashing Sora’s sword as hard as he could so that it flew out of the boy’s hands and splashed into the water. His friend was staring in confusion at his missing weapon, but he didn’t give him a reprieve to answer his questions very long because in the next moment their bodies had connected as Riku tackled him, knocking them both back into the salty water that lay beneath them.

Sea water flew into his nose, making his immediately regret his decision as he struggled to the surface, but it was all made worth it when he emerged to see Sora’s soaked face staring back at him in fury…even when he was mad he looked adorable.

“You’re so mean Riku!” The boy whined, treading water in front of him as he went off on his tirade. “I would have beaten you that time too!”

Reaching out, Riku ruffled the now soaked spikes, turning around to swim back towards the island. “Keep dreaming Sora…after all in what world could you ever beat me?” He gave a laugh as he pictured the angry look no doubt covering his friends face as he climbed up back towards the sunlight, shaking the excess water droplets off his skin as he tried to come up with some plan on how he was going to dry off.

He heard a splash behind him as Sora crawled out of the water as well, and even though he had yet to turn around he could still feel those brilliant sapphires boring holes into his back.

Wanting to get his clothes dry as soon as possible, Riku slipped his clinging shirt over his head, sighing in disgust at the wet plop it made as it hit the ground. The strange thing was he heard a gasp behind him at his actions.

Fearing something was wrong, Riku spun around to see Sora with that same blush on his face as before as he carefully avoided his eyes, clasping his hands together in that same nervous way he had since they were kids. “Riku what are you doing?”

“Drying off.” He answered nonchalantly, slipping his sopping wet jeans off as well so that he only stood there in his boxers. It wasn’t fair for the brunette boy to be acting so suddenly timid and shy…if he kept this up…well if he kept this up he might put ideas in his head that ought not to be there. “Aren’t you going to hang your clothes up as well, or do you want to run around like that until every area on your body chafes?”

It seemed to take Sora a good while to get what he was talking about, but as soon as he did the boy’s nose wrinkled up in disgust and Riku ended up with a soaked shoe being chucked at his head as the brunette began to strip as well.

He knew that he had been the one to make it all fun and games, but as he watched Sora remove his red hoody and leave it to sprawl on the ground, he couldn’t help but stare. Why…oh why did fates have to make it so that he was in love with his best friend?

Riku shut his eyes in recollection, needing something to block out the feeling pooling in the pit of his stomach at the sight of so much skin. He had known for quite some time. In fact it had almost been a year since he had accepted his feelings for Sora, and allowed them to make harbor within his heart. Honestly, he wondered just how long he had harbored these feelings. Was it even before his accident?

“Riku?” He heard a timid voice ask, and he opened his eyes with a sigh to see a trembling body in front of him, stripped down to his boxers with gooseflesh already crawling all over his skin.

“Are you cold?” Riku asked, walked over to the shivering brunette and rubbed his arms to increase circulation, ignoring the little jolts of electricity that traveled down his spine at the skin-to-skin contact.

“Obviously.” Sora replied cheekily, however even through his anger he never pulled away from Riku’s touch. “Let’s lay in the sun to dry, okay?” Sora asked, and the other could do nothing but nod, still much too entranced in touching the body of his desires in such a matter…but he did as he was asked, getting down to lay side by side with Sora as the basked in the afternoon sun.

They lay like that through the sunset, letting the purplish-red haze settle over their bodies as it turned into night. The funny thing is they had dried off long ago, and yet neither one had made an attempt to leave. At first they had talked, exchanging stories and seeing who could make the other laugh, but then they had slipped into a silence as they stared up at the stars, and as Riku saw one shoot across the sky he couldn’t help but wish on it…and what he wished for was Sora.

“Once we set sail who knows if we’ll ever be able to do this again.” He heard Sora say beside him, reminding Riku of the fact that in just a few days they would no longer be on this island. They had prepared a raft to take them far away from here. Sora, Riku…and Kairi. Though he shouldn’t be surprised. Her and Sora were joined at the hip…always had been since she came to the island a few years ago and ruined the unbreakable connection between him and the bubbly brunette laying beside him.

“Do you think we’ll make it?” Riku asked, letting the question that had been bugging him out in the open. “To another world I mean.”

“Yeah!” Sora shot back, never a single doubt in his voice…he was always like that though. So persistent…so without fear. “And we’ll do it together Riku…You and me.”

Riku’s hand twitched a little as he left out the name of the girl he despised. He knew it was a slight of tongue, but still…he couldn’t help but wonder. Pushing himself onto his elbows, aqua eyes stared down at the scantily clad body of his affections, raking down the smooth flesh to come up to stare at the eyes looking into his own.

“You and me?...I’d like that.” Riku stated, and then, getting more courage than he ever thought he possessed, he leaned down, touching their lips together in the unexpected kiss that would probably end in more pain than he ever wanted to imagine.

It was like heaven kissing the one you loved, and when he didn’t receive immediate resistance he planned to take full advantage of the situation. Leaning over the body underneath him he slid their lips together, loving how Sora tasted like the sea. Could they be this way…always?

His heart swelled when he felt timid lips underneath him respond, and it got him to smile against those lips, taking his time in drinking up the person he cared for most. When he finally pulled away Sora had a faraway expression on his face that made Riku grin, placing one more kiss on his lips for good measure.

Now he knew this wouldn’t last for long. He knew that in a few seconds Sora would come to his senses and push him away, but for now...for now he would bask in the somewhat glow that had taken over his friend’s appearance.

Sora finally looked back to him, letting those far away eyes settle on him as he searched his face for answers. When he opened his mouth to speak Riku was sure it would be full of hatred and insults, but those never came…no all Sora asked was. “…You remember?”

“Remember?” Riku asked out loud, confused beyond all reason by the random statement. “Remember what?” It was then he got the reaction he had expected from the beginning, because a look of hurt came over Sora’s features and he pushed back hard on Riku’s chest, knocking him backwards as he got up quickly from his spot on the beach.

“I’m sorry…I’ve gotta go.” Was the last thing he said before grabbing his damp clothes and rushing towards the boats that would take him back off the island and towards his home.

Shutting his eyes, Riku cursed to himself. He hadn’t wanted it to happen that way…He hadn’t wanted to hurt Sora. Why did he have to be so selfish? He had Sora as a friend didn’t he!? Why couldn’t that be enough!? Why did he have to screw this up!?

Screaming in frustration, he slammed his hands upon the beach, wanting to take it all back. What would Sora think of him now? Would they still even be friends at all? Feeling now entirely too sick to be sitting in the spot where he had just ruined his life, Riku also grabbed his clothes, running over the bridge towards the other part of the island, not stopping until he made it to the cave him and Sora used to play in when they were younger and collapsing against the many drawings that told tales of their youth.

He banged his head against the cold stone, wincing against the self-inflicted pain. Maybe he could just hide in here forever. Then he would never have to face Sora again…then he would never have to see that look of disgust on his face after what he had just done.

His head lolled to the side as he took in the crudely done drawings, seeing one of Sora and Kairi that they had drawn together…figures. He was just so tired! He was just so tired of feeling this miserable and having no way of making it leave!

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” Riku was pretty sure he jumped ten feet in the air at the sound of the mysterious voice, and as he looked up for the life of him he couldn’t see any body to go along with it.

“Who are you?” He asked into the darkness, fairly certain his sanity was starting to slip. “Show yourself!”

“No worse pain can be felt than to be rejected by the one you love…it’s enough to break anybody.” The voice said again, and the more it talked the more it sounded like the one he had heard earlier today on the island. “I can make it better Riku…I can make it go away.” His heart sped up when he saw a cloaked figure step in front of him, and he was sure that if it wasn’t so entirely girly he would have screamed right then. “Now sleep.” Was the last thing he heard before his eyes seemed to shut of their own accord and his head slumped back against the stone…completely unconscious?

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When Riku was able to open his eyes again he found himself wrapped in total darkness, and not like it had been in the cave…no this darkness seemed to penetrate his very soul. Where was he, and why did he get the feeling that if he got lost in the blackness there would never be any escape?

“Do you fear it?” He heard that same voice ask as his legs began to move through the seemingly eternal abyss. “Do you fear the darkness that lies within your heart?” Spinning around to try to catch site of the owner of the voice seemingly determined to drive him crazy.

“If the darkness is already apart of me, then why would I fear it?” A biting laugh could be heard throughout the blackness, and Riku almost jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“A fitting answer.” The voice whispered against his ear, and for some reason a strange fog seemed to settle over the teen’s brain. “To fear something what is within yourself is to truly be weak.”

Slapping that hand off of his shoulder, Riku spun around to finally see the voice that had invaded his mind. Though at the sudden movement he found himself almost dizzy as that haze around his head started to thicken. “Tell me who you are!” He demanded, placing a hand to his head as he tried to control his body’s reactions. “What do you want from me?”

It was then that the hood was lifted from the man’s face, revealing tanned sun kissed skin, long white hair, and amber eyes that didn’t even seem like they could possibly be real. “I am Ansem, and I have come to make all your dreams come true.”

“My dreams come true?” Riku asked out loud, for some reason not being able to take his eyes of the face that seemed to have transfixed him. “What are you talking about?”

Ansem didn’t answer right away. No, apparently he thought he needed to be closer in order to do that. …Close enough so that he could take a strand of silver hair within his gloved hand, making a shiver go down Riku’s spine as it slid through his fingers like water.

“Tell me what it is you want, and I will do everything within my power to make it happen.” What he wanted? Was this guy serious? Riku tried to get out a laugh, but it came out more of scoff as he tried to make his brain work. Why is it that he couldn’t even think properly?

“Are you trying to tell me that you’re my shooting star taking shape?” He asked with some bitterness, remembering wishing upon that star right before his life had turned to hell. “Well let me tell you what you did a pretty shitty job! I didn’t get Sora, as a matter of fact he probably hates me!”

“Is that what you desire most?” Ansem asked, ignoring the teen’s tirade. “To be with that boy?” Riku’s hands tightened up in knots as he felt himself nod. …Why was it that he had never before revealed this to anyone, and yet he was letting his deepest secrets out to this man as if they were nothing?

He practically jumped when he felt arms wrap around him, pulling him into an awkward embrace. When had he gotten so close? More importantly, why the hell wasn’t he pulling away? “I can make it happen you know…Sora will be at your fingertips. All you have to do is trust that I know what is best.”

“Trust you?” Riku asked quietly, feeling anger well up in his chest at that. “I don’t even know you!” He cried, pushing the body away from him as distrust shone throughout his features. “Don’t expect me to just stand here and listen to all your lies!”

He never got to continue his tirade, however, because Ansem swooped down, connecting their mouths in his second unexpected kiss of the night. His eyes widened to saucers as those lips covered his, devouring his very essence as his brain went even foggier so that he practically slumped into the arms now wrapped around his waist.

When he finally did pull away Riku was just a sputtering shaking mess against his chest, laying his head against the cold skin and wondering why he was letting this person touch him in the first place.

“You will trust that I know best Riku, because if you don’t, what you truly desire will forever be out of your reach.” He pulled the teen’s head forward, meeting with his eyes now a little more hazy than they had been. “Will you yield to me?”

Not knowing why, and yet not being able to resist his body’s actions, Riku felt himself nod and saw Ansem smirk at his response. …After that everything once more faded to black.

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“Riku…Riku…RIKU!” He was knocked out of his stupor by the sound of his name being yelled, and as he opened his eyes he found himself face down in the cold earth. What had happened to him? The sound of seagulls filtered into his brain as sunlight stung his eyes. Was it now daytime? Hadn’t it just turned night?

Sitting up, he looked to see two concerned faces staring down at him, one was Sora’s, and the other’s Kairi’s. “Where am I?” He asked, getting an answer for himself as he looked around to see the drawings on the walls of the place he had taken refuge at after Sora had all but rejected him.

Oh yeah…that. Turning fearful eyes to Sora, he noticed that as soon as they met with sapphire blue ones the boy immediately looked away. Apparently he was still mad about it, and although Riku didn’t blame him, after the dream he had had he had thought that there might be a small glimmer of hope that when he had awoken Sora might have realized that he had felt something between them as he was kissing back.

“Why did you sleep here you freak!” Kairi joked, hitting him on the back of the head as she helped him to his feet. “Everyone was so worried when they heard that you hadn’t come back last night.”

Casually shrugging Kairi’s arms off of him, he ran a hand through his hair, trying not to let on that he might legitimately be going crazy. “I had a lot on my mind is all.” At this he shot a look towards Sora, who was still conveniently looking away. That was when a thought occurred to him. “How did you find out I didn’t come home? I’m fairly certain my mother wouldn’t care enough to come to my funeral if I died, let alone inform my friends of a night of absence.”

He gave a small laugh at his uncaring parent’s sake, but apparently he was the only one that thought it was funny. He was a spoiled little rich kid, he would admit that much, but possessions were really the only thing his parents had ever given him.

“It was Sora.” Kairi stated, and Riku looked up at that to try to confirm what it was she meant. “He watched your house after you two had your fight and saw that you never came home.”

His eyes widened at that, and not only because Sora had been a good diligent neighbor and watched over his house all night, but because he had actually told Kairi what had happened.

“Was it all some joke to you then?” He asked, hearing more pain than he had thought he possessed come through in his voice. How could he do that to him? Did he just make fun of the poor sad pervert with a crush the minute he left?

“It’s not like that!” Sora immediately shot back to him, and Riku noticed how he seemed somewhat scared. “I only told her we fought and you knocked me into the water! Nothing else!”

His heart slowed at that, but it had yet to return to its normal beat. Why was he letting this affect him so much? Why did all of this have to be happening now!? “I have to go.” He heard himself say, grabbing at his now stiff clothing and stumbling out of the cave, away from the two voices calling at his back for him to return.

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