He honestly hadn't meant for it to go that far. He'd intended to say in the shadows, lurking, showing up only to help when needed. Until then, the dark had shrouded him, hiding him from the proverbial sunshine while protecting him from the real sun. It's where her belonged, where he should have stayed. She was untouchable and he knew it, had known it all along. Which, he muses, is probably one of the things that was so appealing to him. He had always been a masochist.

He had allowed himself to be lured out of his hole, to a place he shouldn't have gone.

So this is his punishment. It is what he derives. He touched the untouchable, loved the unlovable, and now he was paying the price. He allowed himself to forget what he had done to thousands, if only fore half a second, and it had taken it's toll.