written for evillittledog on LJ. She wanted a drabble and it turned into a ficlet. I liked how it turned out so here it is.
Playing With Fire
My throat closes at the sight of her standing at the edge of the ocean,
waves lapping over her bare feet. She's got her pants rolled up to mid
calf and her arms are wrapped around her, classic Buffy defense
posture. She's always on the defensive. Sometimes I think it's because
she's the slayer, most times I know it's because I broke her. I didn't
mean too, but you know what they say about good intentions, only with
Buffy and me it's literal.
walk to her, drawn to her like a moth to flame. I wrap my arms around
her from behind and she relaxes against me.
turns in my arms and places her fingers against my lips, silencing me.
"Don't, just hold me."
buries her nose in the crook of her neck and I bury mine in the crown
of her hair. It's our place, our position, our home. We stand like that
forever. We don't talk because there's nothing to say that hasn't been
said a thousand times before. She cries, scalding hot anguish against
the cool of my skin. I cry, cold rivers of guilt tracking down my
cheeks, pooling in her scalp.
"It'll be light soon" I say breaking the hours old silence.
with me, Angel. Come back to Sunnydale with me, let me go to LA with
you" she pleads, her voice and her soul broken.
I can't. You and I-you're my flame. As long as everything around is
dark, I'm okay but if I get close enough to see the flame, I'm like a
moth. I can't not go to it and it will burn me and you both to ash" I
say trying to explain something I don't even understand and yet I know
swallows hard, nods and then tiptoes, pressing her mouth against mine,
lips igniting, tongues probing, begging, pleading. She tastes like salt
and heaven. We are both breathless when we break apart. She manages a
weak, shaky smile.
"There's something to be said about that moths to flame thingy" she says.
nod, my heart breaking because I know quipping and punning are other
classic Buffy defense mechanisms. We walk to our cars, hands entwined
and then separate. I have to drive off first because the sun is coming
and there's not much time but I know she sat there in her car and
watched me drive away until long after the tail lights had disappeared.
Maybe someday the moth will be able to withstand the flames of the