My Thoughts Of You
by AnimeDarkside

I'm not one to write really mushy/cute fics, but this subject calls to me. Yukina doesn’t know Hiei is her brother, the one she’s been searching for. What are her thoughts about him, as a friend? What are his thoughts about her? Hm...questions.

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is owned by Yoshihiro Takahashi. I own nothing here.
Warnings: None.

Yukina’s point of view first, and then Hiei’s.

Yukina's POV

I was helping Master Genkai make tea one day, just before the reikai tantei came for training. Yusuke always calls her such rude names, but I’m sure it just means he likes her in a way. Genkai-sama must appreciate him the same way, because she returns his banter.

The reikai tantei are all so nice. Kazuma is so sweet, even though he can be confusing. If I’m not mistaken, I think he may like me more than a friend. He’s nice enough, as he is very trustworthy, but I’m afraid I’m just not interested in a partner just yet.

Yusuke’s funny and kind, almost like a brother to me. I just wish he’d slow down and show more respect towards his elders. It’s not pleasant when he upsets Genkai or even Keiko. The way Keiko and Yusuke fight, you would assume they were married. But, since excitement around this temple is rare, so it can be quite funny.

A word to describe Kurama would be polite. He never raises his voice and seems to be clearheaded all the time. I can’t believe some of the stories about Youko Kurama that I’ve heard. Would could believe such a kind, respectful boy could be a bad, murdering thief? I’ve never really seen Kurama in battle, except perhaps at the Tournament, so maybe I’m wrong. I hope not, for I find this Kurama a nice person to be around.

Genkai suddenly walked over to the door, stopping my thoughts. She yelled out the screen, presumably at Yusuke and the others.

“Blasted idiots! Can’t even use the gate way!”

I giggled, knowing Kazuma and Yusuke were fighting again. No, that term was incorrect. The never really fought; they more bickered with each other forcefully. They were best friends, and deep down, I know they cared about each other. The same with the other two boys. Kurama, such a sweet boy, was best friends with Hiei.

Hiei, I forgot to think about him. He was so cold and moody, all the time. At first, I was scared of him, but somehow, I doubt he is mean at all. The way he looks at me and talks to me changes his features. His eyes seem less cold and dark. His scowl turns lighter. Almost a smile.

Sighing, I picked up the tray of tea and cups. I heard the boys all the way over the temple and I knew something was bothering them. I stepped out into the open porch and walked down to the ‘meeting’ room. Outside the door, I saw their shoes, so they were staying awhile.

“You old hag!” I heard Yusuke shout angrily. “How can you do this to us now?! The toddler already has us on a mission!”

“Yeah, we don’t need more training!” Kazuma’s voice shouted.

Outside the door, I felt their rage. What had Genkai said now? Even Kurama’s angry was present.

“I can’t.” The said kitsune replied calmly, though with an edge. “Okassan would never agree to it.”

“Stop the complaining!” Genkai-sama shouted, silencing them all. “I don’t care what your mother thinks, fox! It’s only four weeks!”

Suddenly, the door slid open. I gasped and nearly spilled the tea. Kurama smiled at me and ushered me in. Kazuma’s attitude immediately lightened. In the darkest corner, I saw Hiei twitch.

“I-I’m sorry for eve’s dropping.” I stuttered, placing the tea down on the small table. “Here’s the tea.”

“Oh, Yukina!” Kazuma cried, blushing. “You’re feminine grace is so lovely!”

There he goes again. I’ve never really understood romance and poetry, so his large words are lost on me. Was it my imagination, or did Hiei just reach for his katana, tied at his waist? He always did that when Kazuma began his long preaches to me. I wonder why.

“Stop it, you flap-jawed idiot!” Genkai-sama hit him over the head with a book. “You have work to do.”

Yusuke, Kazuma and Kurama groaned. Obviously it was something none of them wanted to do. Hiei just ‘hn’ed and said nothing.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” I began, looking at Genkai-sama, “but what is it they have to do, Genkai-sama?”

“We,” Yusuke moaned, “have to live here for four weeks and train our asses off.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” I replied, handing him a cup of tea.

Kurama sighed, taking his cup. “Yes, but Lord Koenma already has a mission laid out for us.”

Genkai-sama glared at him. “Hmp. What’s more important than training? There haven’t been demons in the ningenkai for months.”

“Some patrol duty,” Hiei spoke up, finally. I looked at him, smiling. He seemed to waver, but continued. “Mukuro told me that some rebel demons planned to invade here.”

“Bull!” Yusuke shouted angrily. “Last time we heard that, it was a wild goose chase. They all chicken out in the end.”

“But why all the fuss? It’s summer.” Genkai-sama sipped her tea. “You fools don’t have anymore of that school.”

“That’s the point!” Kazuma glared. “Summer vacation usually means summer VACATION! Don’t we get a day off?”

“Fine, I’ll let you take Fridays off.” Genkai said darkly. She got up and pointed to the courtyard. “Front and center, Dimwit and Kuwabaka. Now.”

“Yes, grandma!” Yusuke said sarcastically. There he goes, with that same disrespect. It’ll be the fall of him, I’m sure.

Kurama sighed and began to clear the cups. I leaped to my feet, telling him I’d take them. He just smiled and told me he’d handle it. What a polite young man. There was no way those stories were true.

I slipped out of the room, grateful to leave the stiff and hostile atmosphere. I saw Genkai-sama lead Kazuma and Yusuke off to train. She was hard, but correct in her training. If the boys weren’t strong and sturdy, who know what could happen against a demon?

My purple eyes wandered across the courtyard. It was quite plain, except for a few trees by the wall. The cherry tree was blooming late. It was strange, so late in the year, but still so beautiful. I was about to walk over and examine the tree when I heard footsteps behind me. I swirled around to see Hiei leaning against the doorway, looking at the tree.

I hated the silence the fell between us a lot. I didn’t understand. Did Hiei hate me? Did I do something wrong?

“Um...” I began nervously, getting his attention. “Isn’t the tree beautiful?”

“Hn.” Hiei’s red eyes narrowed, but softly, as if he didn’t want to pierce me with his gaze. “It would appear so.”

Another awful silence fell. I was about to excuse myself to make dinner when I saw something in his eyes. The usual bored/annoyed look he gave everyone was gone. Instead, loneliness and longing filled them. What was more, I saw hurt flicker through. Maybe I did do something to offend him.

“Hiei, are you in pain?” I asked suddenly, reaching my hand out boldly. “I can heal it if you want—.”

He pulled back, the hardness forming. He looked the usual cold way again. Then, he calmly said, “There is no spell or medicine that can heal this pain, Yukina.”

With those words, he vanished. I was confused. He didn’t look angry. Just sad. Oh, how I wish he could be easier to speak with.

I saw Kurama standing in the room, looking sad himself. If anyone could explain Hiei’s actions, it was Kurama.

“Kurama-kun,” I asked, “What did he mean? Did I do something?”

“No, Yukina.” Kurama looked away. “You did nothing wrong.”

“Then what did he mean?”

“When he’s ready, he’ll tell you.” With that, the kitsune walked past me, towards the others.

I still don’t understand. If I did nothing wrong, then why did Hiei seem to be sad around me? Sighing, I knew Kurama was right. If Hiei had something to tell me, he’d say it when he was ready.

Hiei's POV

The baka and Yusuke woke me up late in the afternoon. Koenma had told us to go into the makai to scout for a rebel army. Idiot toddler. Mukuro would have sent for me if something like that had happened. Then, Yusuke’s girlfriend, Keiko, told us Genkai wanted to see us. What does everyone have against sleep?

We went slowly, for the temperature was uncomfortable, even for me. Dang ningen weather. It was so unpredictable and harsh. This summer was going from bad to worse, very fast. Kurama said something about a vacation, but I doubt we’d get one soon.

As usual, Kuwabaka said something stupid, causing Yusuke to pick a fight with him. Stupid humans. Stupid weather. Stupid life. How could Kurama put up with this for eighteen years?!

As we approached the gate, I saw Kuwabara and Yusuke leap over the wall. Actually, it was more of Kuwabara chasing Yusuke over the wall. I sighed and jumped up to the trees. There was more shade and I moved quicker up there.

Genkai shouted at the idiots for their playing. Wasting energy and being stupid, as usual. I felt a chill in the air, knowing Yukina was near by.

Yukina. So calm, peaceful and kind. A person I normally wouldn’t like being around a lot, but for her, I’d hang around for centuries. Unknown to her, I am her elder brother. She is constantly searching for her brother, but I keep quiet.

Oh, Yukina. Isn’t it such irony to be searching for someone so close, but yet so far? I distance myself from you, emotionally and physically, lest I reveal the truth. I made the others swear not to tell. Why such secrecy? I ask myself a lot why, but there is no true answer. Perhaps I am afraid. Afraid of her being angry, scared or disgusted to have such a monster as her older brother? I am afraid of few things, but that in my one fear.

When should I tell her the truth? When I’m on my deathbed? Should the fox tell her? Maybe I’ll take my secret to the grave.

I woke up from my thoughts and discovered we were in the meeting room. Huh. I had carried myself all the way here? Interesting. Genkai began to explain how she wanted us to train harder this summer. Even one groaned, for some reason. We had to live at the temple, for speedier practicing. I knew the fox would have a hard time explaining to his ningen mother. Yusuke and the baka were being babies.

Suddenly, Kurama got up and opened the sliding door. My sister stood there, partially embarrassed, holding a tray with tea. Her violet eyes swept across the room as she apologized. Her eyes came to me and I stiffened. Her eyes, judging, seemed to go right through me.

The baka jumped to his feet and swooned over her. I growled inwardly and placed my hand on my blade. No stupid human was going to hurt my sister, even if she didn’t know how I was. Minutes passed and Genkai finally hit Kuwabara and he left my sister alone. Good.

More minutes of talk. I added my two cents in, noticing the surprise of Yukina. Hn, I would expect so. I do tend to be silent. More talk. Finally, everyone shut up and got up to leave. Kurama, being the polite little fox he is, began to help clean up. Sometimes, I wish I were more like him. Yukina seems to like being around him. What about me? What did she think of me, a moody little fire youkai?

As soon as Genkai hauled the idiots out, it was just me, the fox and Yukina. My sister seemed enchanted by the odd cherry tree, so I walked over to the door. This was a good chance to tell her. Kurama gave me a supporting look.

Yukina swirled around and looked at me as I leant against the doorway. She looked nervous. Was I that sacry. I tried to focus on the tree.

“Um...” Her quiet voice broke the silence. “Isn’t the tree beautiful.”

“Hn.” Didn’t I have a better reply?!! “It would appear so.”

Another awkward silence. I cursed my inability to start a conversation. She was looking into my eyes. I began to think: Those eyes will never look at me as a brother or family. I am a threat to her, I know it. Her eyes suddenly widened and she reached out for me.

“Hiei, are you in pain? I can heal it if you want—”

I pulled back. I was afraid of her soft touch. It would feel right at all. I simply stared at her, trying not to tell the truth. She would hate me. “There is no spell or medication that can heal this pain.”

I jumped away. I, Hiei, was afraid of a girl. My sister. My beloved little sister. She would never know the truth and that was for the better.

I jumped up to the cherry tree’s branches and hid there. My heart was pounding, as was my head. That was closer than I had wanted. Yukina could never find out. No matter how much it hurt me.

A single petal fluttered down into my open palm. My eyes watered and I clenched my fist, crushing the flower. Yukina was the flower. I was the demon. If I told her the truth, she’d hate me. And that would be worse than a thousand years without her.

The secret will remain secret. I have no other choice.

The end!