Bands
Chapter 11 – Finale

"Essa Asari was found earlier this morning by police, shaken and refusing to respond to them. In her arms, police said, she held a black and white cat and have now confirmed that it is the cat that once was the family pet. Incredibly, the cat is healthy and seems to have found it's way back to Asari after all these years.

"Police say the scene showed no sign of a struggle, but that it is confirmed that two are dead from whatever took place there. Along with Asari there were two other young girls who had also gone onto the missing children's list around the same time. These two were Michiko Noro and Kin Deushi, friends of Asari's, which would explain why she is so shaken up to discover their deaths as well.

"Like in the case of the deaths of the Asari family, the two fourteen-year-old girls seem to have died mysteriously. The only signs of battery on them are little scuffs and scrapes that would have resulted from falling to the ground. Otherwise, it seems that they have just stopped breathing. Autopsy has so far led to no answers.

"Their families were of course devastated to learn that their children had died and refused to speak on camera about it. However, they said that the three girls were very close friends and the fact that they had run away as a trio wasn't all that surprising since they did everything together. When they'd heard of Asari showing up at the café all these years later, they had hoped to find their girls as well, but as can be seen, this has ended in tragedy.

"Asari was taken into police custody, coming without struggle in her state of shock. She was also taken to a nearby hospital to make sure everything was all right with her, especially with her recent wound, and doctors report that the wound seems to have miraculously healed. The only injury she seems to have suffered is to her mind as even more of those close to her have died.

"The teen was taken into the psychiatric ward to help her deal with what she's witnessed, however, so far they are reporting that she won't say a word. They also say that she refuses to leave the cat, just as much as it seems to refuse to leave her, so the pair were placed in a special area so that the animal could not get loose and harm others or cause allergic reactions.

"We will keep you updated on this story. This is Rika Fukuda."

xxxxxxx

"Star… No Senshi has ever killed another," the voice told her, echoing in the numbness of her mind.

'I know,' she responded, her own inner voice sounding lethargic and weak.

She absently stroked Spike as he rested on her lap, never once leaving her side. As the officials had tried to take him away, not only had she screamed out in protest, but he'd thrown a fit as well, hissing and scratching at them. She felt lucky to have him there, comforted – if only a little – by his presence.

Essa sat in a comfortable rocking chair, her legs crossed up on the seat as she stared off into space and rocked back and forth, watching the scene play out in her mind over and over again. If only she could go back and change it… if only…

"You can't change it, Star…" the voice continued, almost seeming to taunt now and she was getting sick of listening to it.

'I could…'

"No," it snapped. "Don't meddle with the past."

Essa remained silent this time, deciding to ignore the voice, maybe in a childish pouting kind of way. She looked down at Spike, who turned his green eyes towards her and she could clearly see the worry. While she wanted to give even a fake smile to pacify him, she knew that he wouldn't be so easily duped. Even if he wasn't her guardian who could communicate with her and all, she knew well that animals could sense moods.

He hadn't spoken a word, not wanting to risk it in so public an environment, especially when she was under constant watch. The cat was also watching, though watching the doctors as well. He could sense them always keeping an eye on her, probably afraid that she'd go overboard and try to kill herself. Yet, somehow Spike knew that even in her grief, suicide wasn't crossing her mind. Why, he couldn't know since that seemed to be the general pattern for some humans, but something was keeping the thought from her mind.

Over the past week or so since the incident, all Essa had done was sit there, really. At first, she would only stare, but eventually she started to watch some television, always avoiding the news and anything that could trigger a negative reaction. The nurses made sure that she only had access to a certain number of channels, often just putting in an approved movie for her.

The teen felt very much like a child since she was being treated so delicately. She guessed that it was warranted though, considering her state, but she was beginning to force herself to come out of it. She was telling herself that it was her fault, and therefore she had no right to mourn or feel shock. No right. Not when they were all dead because of her.

Of course, she wasn't telling anyone that she was the reason all five of them – her parents, her brother and her two friends – were dead. No, she didn't want to go to a juvenile detention center and then prison for the rest of her life. How would she explain what happened to them anyway? They might just put her in an asylum for the rest of her life if she told them.

She wondered what the Senshi thought, knowing that they had left her be as the police arrived. Figuring there was nothing they could do for her, the Senshi had vanished into the still-dark morning before too many questions could be asked. When they'd tried to take Essa with them, not only had she refused, but Spike had told them to just leave as well and let the authorities handle it. It was the best option for them now.

Essa currently continued to rock in the chair, now watching a movie that was indeed for a younger audience. She didn't mind it though, allowing herself to escape in the fantasy of the tale, but thinking ultimately that things don't work like that and that happy endings aren't real. She continued to stroke Spike's soft fur as she watched the family film, feeling the gentle purr against her legs as he simply sat there in silence.

It was days after that that the same pair of police officers from before – Officers Ibu and Takarabe – entered into the room, this time with more care than they had before. When Essa looked over at them with her lackluster grey eyes, they smiled gently.

"May we come in?" Takarabe asked, surprised when Essa nodded, even if it was just slightly.

The officers walked further into the room, crossing to where Essa sat and taking a seat on the plush couch that was near the chair. They seemed startled by the cat on her lap, even though they had both been told that it was there. Maybe they had thought it wouldn't be real, but yet they could both clearly see it watching them with sharp, green eyes. They got an eerie sense that it was guarding her from them.

"You've been through a lot, but we have some good news for you," Takarabe continued, looking away from the cat, but it was Ibu who picked up after that.

"We managed to find your mother's brother – your uncle. They're a very nice family, but there is one catch," Ibu said slowly, making sure she was following. She nodded for him to continue, yet she wasn't looking at him, but the cat on her lap. "You see, the thing is that they live in Russia."

Essa stopped stroking Spike, feeling him tense a bit as his claws dug in and her own shock was present as well, though her expression didn't say so. "Russia?" she questioned, making sure she heard him correctly.

"That's right. Moscow, Russia to be exact. Your uncle would prefer that you went there instead of his family coming here," Ibu explained.

"Because he doesn't want to move…" Essa guessed, picking up stroking Spike again.

"More because he felt that getting you away from here might be best, and your doctors agree for the time being. They've been in contact with a doctor over there who will continue to help you along," Takarabe told her, not wanting her to think poorly of her uncle.

Silence fell between them and Essa thought.

"You can't leave," the voice returned at that moment.

'Why not?'

"Because you're still needed here, Star!"

'No, I'm not… Serenity is safe… I'll only cause more harm…'

"You have to stay, Star."

'No…' she told the voice she knew only she could hear. She turned her eyes to the police officers sitting before her and she could see that they were expecting her to say something. "I'll go."

xxxxxxx

It was several days later, upon her demand that she be allowed to see her friends and say goodbye, that Sasara, Mine and Eikou walked into the room she was staying in at the hospital. The three seemed apprehensive, and Essa guessed that the doctor had filled their heads with notions that she was insane. At the moment, Spike had slinked off to get some food, sneaking about the hospital even though he was supposed to stay in the room. He didn't ever go too far though, incase she needed him. But for now it was just Essa and her friends in the room. She looked at them, wondering what to say, but the looks in their eyes made her say something else.

"I'm not going to go nuts and attack you," she said calmly, her voice reassuring. Over the past days she'd been making an extra effort to be less withdrawn and to get back to normal. It was hard, but she felt it was probably for the best.

The three finally moved to sit down, but only after taking a quick glance at each other. They sat on the couch across from her, where the officers had been sitting days before. There was a long pause between them, since none of them knew what to say in this kind of situation.

"So… what happens now?" Mine asked, her voice small, showing that even if she wanted the courage to speak, she didn't quite have it yet. She was just at a loss as to what to do for her friend.

"They found an uncle of mine. I'll be staying with him and his family," Essa explained shortly. Her slight shift showed that she wasn't entirely comfortable with the situation, but she also knew that she really didn't have a choice.

"That's great," Mine continued, a small smile coming to her face.

Sasara nodded beside her. "At least you'll be with family."

"I'll also be in Russia," Essa added and watched their faces fall.

"What?" Eikou asked, turning his eyes to look directly at her now. He'd been somewhat avoiding her gaze, uneasy for some reason.

Essa nodded soberly. "They live in Russia. So, since I'll be with them, I'll be there, too."

"But that's so far away," Mine's brow furrowed. "We'll never see you again."

Essa had been deliberating what to say, since she knew that one of them – she had guessed it would be Mine – would say that. She had finally come to a decision as to how she would respond to that. "I may come back someday. I really don't know for sure, but I might." Her grey eyes watched each of them carefully.

"You have to come back," Eikou stated, feeling a sense of loss even though she was still sitting there right before him.

"Yeah," Sasara agreed with a nod of her head, and then a mischievous look came to her eyes. "Or I'll go over to Russia and drag you back myself."

Essa grinned, shaking her head, knowing she should have expected that. "All right then."

xxxxxxx

Her goodbyes to the Senshi weren't quite the same as with her three friends from the café. For one, she didn't see them until just before she was to leave with her uncle and aunt. The police had been the ones to retrieve her duffle from the shrine after she told them it was there, so she hadn't seen them since that night.

The trio, and Spike, were heading onto a small ship that would be taking them on a little cruise before they headed back to Russia. The doctors said it would be a better way to let them get acquainted with each other before completely immersing themselves in the 'family life'.

It was just as they were about to board that Essa heard voices calling from behind her. She had turned to see the five girls and Darien heading towards her and she told her aunt and uncle that she would just say a quick goodbye to them and then be right there. They had seemed apprehensive, but agreed and told her not to be too long.

Serena came to a stop, huffing on the spot, but still managing to spit out, "Weren't you going to say goodbye?"

"I figured…" Essa began, unable to finish, but she saw understanding cross their expressions.

"You figured it would just be better if you vanished," Rei scrutinized, placing her right hand on her hip. "Did you expect us to find out through the news or something?"

"It's not like that…" Essa said, clutching Spike closer to her chest, almost as if he were a toy, not a cat. She didn't like the look in their eyes, but guessed that she should have been prepared for it. She saw that they were all edgy around her, and it was understandable, but she didn't like the distaste that she saw there as well.

"Leave her alone, Rei," Mina warned with a sigh. "I think we've all been through enough that we don't need any of your antagonizing."

"Are you coming back?" Serena asked, much like Mine had.

It was Spike that answered this time. "Who knows? Maybe we will someday."

"What if we need you?" Serena persisted, even as Darien laid a hand on her arm to get her to stop with the million questions.

Essa only shook her head sadly. "I don't think you'll need me. I've caused enough trouble already." She turned and looked at the boat and saw her aunt and uncle waving for her to come onboard. Essa turned back to the Senshi. "Goodbye."

Essa ran up and onto the boat, turning back to look at the Senshi briefly before giving a small wave and continuing on to their rooms. Though people glared at her as she passed with Spike in her arms, she had refused to put him in a cage and had sworn that he would not be any trouble. After speaking with the doctors at the hospital, the crew had allowed this, but said that the cat had to be confined to the room at all times to avoid irritating any allergies people might have.

After dinner, the teen headed out for a walk along the deck, saying that she wanted some alone time. Again, there was apprehension in her new-found relatives, but they let her go, giving her a time to be back by. She agreed of course, knowing that they wouldn't let her go if she didn't. And though Spike was supposed to stay in the room, he managed to slink out after her, only coming out of the shadows when they found an abandoned spot on the dimly-lit deck.

Essa leaned against the rail, Spike jumping up and sitting beside her with his perfect balance. He looked over at the girl, his whiskers blowing in the wind caused by the movement across the water. He had no fear of falling in, only concerned for her, though even if he hadn't had this concern, he wouldn't have had any fear.

"I'll always be with you," the cat told her quietly, just in case someone happened to be near enough to hear.

"I know, Spike," she said with a grin, glancing over at him. "I'm trying to get past this, but it's so hard."

The cat purred, nudging her arm slightly with his head in wordless signal that things would get better. Essa placed a hand on his head, running it down his back before leaning her arms on the rail again and looking up at the sky.

"I wonder if Sailor Star has a star up there, like the others have their planets," she mused.

"I don't know," Spike followed her gaze, looking at the black of the sky and fixing his eyes on the lights that hung in it. He'd never really though about it, but now that he did, he really didn't know whether there would be or not. "Maybe the Dark Senshi don't have planets."

"Maybe," Essa agreed, not seeing how Universe and Space could have planets, considering their names. "Guess it doesn't really matter."

Silence fell between them; a comfortable silence only disturbed by the sound of the water against the ship. She turned her grey eyes to the waters now, her loose hair hanging and blowing against her face. She pulled it back over one shoulder, thinking of cutting it, and stared into the darkness of the water, though her bangs still hung slightly before her eyes. The only light cast on the water was from the ship and from the moonlight.

On sudden impulse, her hand went to her neck, grabbing the silver star pendant that still hung there. She pulled it off and Spike's ears cocked forwards inquisitively, wondering what she was doing, but he didn't say a word, only watching. He didn't think she would transform, but he was curious as to what she was doing with it.

He watched as she held it in her palm over the edge of the rail, staring at it pensively. The cat shifted slightly, drawing closer, wondering if there was something to see that he couldn't from where he was. He saw nothing out of the ordinary though and looked up at Essa.

"What is it?"

"This is what caused all the trouble, right?" her voice was almost distant.

"I guess so." He didn't see where she was going with this.

"So, if I got rid of it then…"

"Got rid of it? How?"

"I'll just leave it behind."

"You mean leave it on the ship? Someone else will find it then."

"No. There."

Spike looking out into the water, where she'd motioned to with a nod of the head. He didn't know much about diving, but figured that there was a better chance for it to stay lost forever in the depths of the water. He wondered though if that was the solution to their problems. Could it really be so simple?

"I don't know, Essa."

"If I keep it, it'll just be like a taunting memory. I can't say that leaving it will make me forget, but the threat of it happening again will be gone."

"That's true," Spike nodded slightly. "If you think it's the thing to do…"

"I do."

"Then I won't stop you," the black and white feline said, watching her intently with his green eyes. He could tell that she was really struggling with this.

Though it had caused so much trouble, there was just some part of her that wanted to keep it. It was like the Senshi part was trying to get a good grip on her so that she wouldn't abandon it forever; like it needed her. Like it was trying to survive. In the back of her head, she heard mumblings, like the voice was trying to speak to her again, but she was blocking it out with all her will. She had to block it out, because just as it wanted to survive, so did she. She wanted to keep her sanity.

So even as the innocent looking pendant glinted silver with the light, she willed her hand to turn over and the silver piece of jewellery slithered off her hand before plummeting down the side of the ship and then into the water. Essa stared at her hand for a long moment, as if to assure that it was really gone.

"It's over now," Spike broke the silence that had formed.

"You're right," she agreed, making the hand into a fist and then placing it on the rail again. "It's over." She turned, looking at him with a smile and feeling a sense of relief.

The pair stayed where they were for a few more minutes, looking out at the waters and enjoying a comfortable silence. When they finally turned away to head back to the room, Essa scooped Spike up into her arms, giving him a hug before just carrying him normally, being sure to avoid anyone that might scold her for having him out of the room. Just before they got to the room, she set him down and as she opened the door, he darted back in, in silence and neither Essa's uncle nor aunt noticed a thing.

"What were you doing out there?" Essa's uncle asked when she had closed the door. There was an air of gently curiosity in his voice, not a scolding scrutiny that might be expected.

"Just thinking," she replied, walking over to her bed and sitting down on it. Spike jumped up beside her, as if he'd been under the bed all along and waiting for her return.

"Your cat acts more like a dog," her aunt chuckled. "He waits for you to get back and everything."

"I know," Essa smiled, stroking his soft fur.

As she sat there with her relatives and her best friend, a calmness washed over her and she felt that maybe she had really managed to leave it all behind.

x

J'avais échapé l'obscurité, (I have escaped the darkness,)
Mais as-t-il vraiment disparu? (But has it really disappeared?)
C'est difficile de déterminer (It's hard to determine)
Parce que c'est encore dans ma vue. (Because it's still in my view.)

Donc, si tu pourrais comprendre (So, if you could understand)
Le bataille en moi-même, (The battle within myself,)
Peut être tu pourrais répondre (Maybe you could answer)
Aux questions que j'ai. (The questions that I have.)

Je ne sais pas (I don't know)
Pourquoi je l'avais fait. (Why I have done it.)
Je le regretterai (I will regret it)
Et j'essayerai de promettre (And I will try to promise)
Que je ne le ferrais pas encore (That I won't do it again.)
Je souhait qu'on peut oublier. (I hope that we can forget.)
Peut être un autre jour (Maybe another day)
Mes memoires seront cachées. (My memories will be hidden.)

J'avais avarié la lumière de la lune (I have tainted the light of the moon)
Et pour ça je suis désolée. (And for that I'm sorry.)
Je part maintenant, je quitte les ruines. (I'm parting now, I'm leaving the ruins.)
Je suis obligée. (I'm obligated.)

Et quoique ça me cause de douleur (And even though it causes me pain,)
Ce n'arrivera encore jamais. (It will never happen again.)
Je retourne mon pouvoir (I'm giving back my power)
Pour te protèger. (To protect you.)

Je sais pourquoi (I know why)
Ceci devrait être fait (This must be done.)
Et je regretterai (And I will regret)
Et je fais mes promettres (And I make my promises.)
Que je ne le ferrais pas encore (That I won't do it again.)
Je souhait qu'on peut oublier (I hope that we can forget)
Peut être un autre jour (Maybe another day)
Mes memoires seront cachées. (My memories will be hidden.)

Parce que je le laisse, (Because I leave it,)
Peut être ça va mieux maintenant. (Maybe things will be better now.)

END

xxxxxxx
Les Memories Cachées (Hidden Memories) is copyrighted© to Laura Barton.
Thanks for reading.

xxxxxxx

PREVIEW
Forced: Creator of a Falling Star
The Saga Continues!

“In Japan?” the white haired girl questioned, her brows furrowing. Instantly she didn't think it was a good idea, no matter what her shrink had to say.

“Yes. I think that your returning to Japan for a couple of months will be good for you. I feel you are ready to cope with whatever happened there now and work through it."

--

The two girls shoved through the crowd, even though a few stopped them and told them they had to run. Ignoring those people, they finally made their way to the edge of the crowd, noting that a car was being overturned in the street. Both gasped as they saw that the people were still inside the car, and screaming loudly at that. At present, they couldn't see what was doing it though.

"What's doing that?!"

"Let's worry about that later and just transform!"

"Moon Crystal Power!"

--

"Essa," Spike looked to the former Senshi, noting wide eyes upon her face. She'd felt and perhaps even heard the same thing he had.

"Please… no…"

--

"You still don't hear it, do you, Essa?"

"What is it?"

"I don't know what it is. But it never stops."

--

"It ends here, Serenity..."