"Where Do We Go From Here?"

Author: MissAnnaValerious (or Melissa if you prefer)

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters from the movie Van Helsing. This work is purely fictional. The song at the beginning is called "Where do we go from here" and it's by Joss Whedon. It's from the Buffy musical episode, "Once More, With Feeling"

Summary: After every battle, there comes the question of what happens now. Everyone has a different reaction but they all must be dealt with. Some must live with guilt, others must re-build their lives. But it doesn't matter what you do because you must go on, in some shape or form.

Rating: PG

Author's Notes: I'm one of those people who is always writing but never publishes anything. This is one of the few fanfics that I have ever published, and my first on . Please Read and Review, criticism is welcomed and somewhat encouraged. How would we grow as writers' if no one ever gives suggestions for improving? One more note: thoughts are in italics. Oh, and seeing as I'm Canadian, I spell everything the English way, not the American way (for example: colour instead of color).

"Where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?
The battle's done,
And we kind of won
So we sound our victory cheer

Where do we go from here?
Why is the path unclear?
When we know home is near
Understand
We'll go hand in hand
But we'll walk alone in fear

Tell me
Where do we go from here?
When does the end appear?
When do the trumpets cheer?
The curtains close
On a kiss god knows
We can tell the end is near

Where do we go from here?"

Van Helsing couldn't believe what he had just done. He had killed Anna, the first woman he had ever loved in his whole life. She lay clutched in his arms, dead from his own hands.

Carl looked at the gut-wrenching site the lay before him: Van Helsing, in human form, and Anna, her body limp and cold. He was both shocked and saddened by the turn of events. Anna had managed to inject Helsing with the vaccine but she had been killed. She had succeeded in curing Van Helsing but at the cost of her own life. Van Helsing looked heartbroken; his eyes dead and filled with unshed tears.

Yet, as Carl peered more closely at the couple in front of him, he noticed a very slight, but still noticeable, rise and fall of Anna's chest. Up and down, up and down, up and down. The pattern continued. He moved closer, praying he wasn't imaging things to compensate for the truth. Again, Anna's chest rose and fell.

"Umm...Van Helsing," Carl started, stuttering nervously and hoping to avoid provoking the former werewolf who still looked dangerous and unstable.

"Carl, shut up!" Gabriel Van Helsing practically yelled at his companion. Tears trickled down his newly-human face, no longer being contained in his eyes.

"She's not dead!" Carl yelled back, surprising both Helsing and himself with his sudden outburst of passion. "I mean, her chest is rising and falling. That would be a sign that she was alive and not dead," Carl finished.

Carl watched the light come back to Van Helsing's eyes. He looked down at Anna's pale face before gently placing her on the red overstuffed couch. He ran a hand down her cheek; softly brushing a stray brunette curl behind her ear. Her light puffs of breath caressed his hand, making him know clearly that she was indeed alive and not dead as he had originally thought and feared.

Van Helsing's face turned from an expression of absolute despair to one of shocked amazement. His eyes lit up with happiness; his tears drying salty on his cheeks. But the rational part of his mind quickly overtook once his heart was taken care of.

"She's alive but seriously injured. She's bleeding and she's got broken bones and ribs. We need bandages...and medicine...and a warm place," Van Helsing begun to ramble, his mind racing. His thoughts were solely centered on the woman lying on the couch, whose injuries were caused by his own hand. Never mind the vampires; he was the one to fault. He paid no heed to the fact that he was standing in Dracula's winter castle wearing what amounted to a loincloth in civilized society.

"Well...first we would have to get back to the Valerious' manor. I guess we could try to go back the way we came," Carl stuttered, trying to think and speak in rapid succession. He didn't want to anger Van Helsing, who seemed to be hanging on to his control by a very loose thread, and find himself in worst shape than Anna. "We should also be worrying about you, you've been..." Carl started to speak but was cut off by Helsing.

"Never mind me. I'll be fine. Just find me a way to get back to the manor, Carl! Let's focus on one thing at a thing, okay?" Helsing yelled at Carl before he could gain control over his temper. He was anxious to get Anna back to the manor where they could give her first aid and treat her life-threatening injuries. He had no time to worry about himself. Anna was the one he needed to worry about.

Anna shifted position on the couch-rolling more on to her side. She moaned softly, groaning as she felt pain shot through her body. She didn't wake up but remained unconscious, which did nothing to ease the torment that Van Helsing was currently putting himself through. After a few seconds, she relaxed and didn't stir again.

Carl started heading towards the entrance of Dracula's castle, without checking to see if Van Helsing was following. Gabriel signed, bent down, and, as gently as was humanly possible, picked up Anna's fragile and broken body. He cradled her head and held her slim body close to his own, as close as he could without adding further injury to her body. He followed Carl swiftly, wasting no time in catching up with Carl and escaping the castle. Carl shivered as they left the confines of the castle but Van didn't even notice the icy air. His sole concern was focused on Anna. He worried that the cold would further aggravate Anna's condition but there was nothing he could do. The icy winds were a permanent fixture in this world.

Carl quickly retraced their steps back to the entrance to Anna's home. He tried to ignore the biting cold that even his thick robes could not keep out. He briefly wondered how Helsing was managing to stand the weather, dressed only in a piece of cloth that resembled a loincloth. He guessed that the cold hadn't even reached him yet, his sole focus on Anna. Carl's thoughts turned to Anna and her own clothing. The worn blouse, leather corset, riding jacket, and tight black pants would provide little protection from the cold. There was no telling what kind of damage that could do to her weaken body. Before he could continue with his train of thought, the gateway appeared.

"Now, how do we go back through?" Carl questioned, remembering how he hadn't been able to go back through the portal when he originally earlier. But then he saw the Latin inscription, shining lightly through the ice-like material that he had originally read to open the gateway. Maybe if he just re-read the inscription, the gateway would magically open. It seemed a little far-fetched, even for Carl's fairly open-mind but he chose to test his theory anyway.

He quickly read the inscription, fully aware that the cold was fast becoming dangerous to both Anna and Van Helsing. Just like he had predicted, the gateway magically seemed to alter itself until the manor became visible behind the ice.

"Here goes nothing," Carl muttered to himself, since Van Helsing seemed more focused on Anna that anything else. Luck must have been on the good guy's side for once because when he stepped through the portal, he found himself safely back in the Valerious's manor.

A few seconds later, Gabriel, with Anna firmly gripped in his arms, entered the manor via the gateway from Dracula's domain. He carefully brushed ice crystals from Anna's hair. He checked her breathing again and was relieved to discover that it had become steadier and even. She was still seriously injured but she was young and healthy. She would live through this ordeal without too much trouble.

"Carl, find bandages and any sort of medicine that might be lying around. Make sure you find something that I can use to sterilize any cuts or wounds," Gabriel spoke swiftly to Carl; his mind racing. "Bring whatever you find up to Anna's room. Oh, and go to my room and fetch me some clothes. A pair of pants and two shirts, preferably long-sleeved." Gabriel finished giving the instructions to Carl, who quickly exited the study in search on the said items. Gabriel himself headed towards Anna's room, carrying the injured princess as carefully as he could.

Van Helsing moved swiftly down the hallway. He went up the stairs and turned right. Half way down the hall was Anna's room. He entered the cold room; wishing immediately that it was warmer but there was nothing he could do for the time being. He laid Anna down on her bed. The bed had a patterned red wool quilt covering the queen-sized mattress. He stood back and stared at Anna for a few seconds before leaning down and pushing a few stray strands of brunette curls off her face.

He stood back up from his bent-over position. He again surveyed the scene in front of him: Anna was unconscious and, most likely, bleeding. There came a problem: Anna's tight, restricting clothing prevented him from examining and treating her wounds. She was going to kill him when she woke up. That couldn't be helped. He bent down and began removing her clothing, praying that Anna would understand when she woke up.

When Anna awoke several hours later, she discovered herself to be tucked in her own bed. Her body ached from her injuries and being tossed around several times. She slowly sat up, wincing when the action pulled on her bruised ribs. She pushed her long hair off her face and caught sight of the sleeve of the shirt she was wearing. It was not her shirt, but more man-like. She came to the conclusion that it was Van Helsing's. And, as she belatedly noticed, it was the only thing she was wearing.

She signed and got out of bed. Her clothing lay in a basket near her door. Looking through it, she discovered that every article was torn or covered in blood. She opened the door and headed down the hallway. As she passed by a large window, she glanced out. The sun was barely rising, but she could tell that the weather would be sunny, but cold, today.

As she neared Van Helsing's room, she heard a noise coming from within said room. Quietly, she opened his door and peered in. He was tossing and turning on the large bed; the blue wool blanket at the headboard, even through the room was chilly. Anna walked the short distance to the edge of the bed, her injured body protesting so much movement after such a short resting time. She gently brushed his sweaty hair off his forehead. Oddly enough, she notices that he calmed down in her presence. His body is no longer moving madly and he seems to be settling in to a deeper sleep.

Deciding against going back to her own room, sure that she might collapse on the way and worried about Van Helsing, she walked quickly to the other side of the bed and climbed in. She reached down and grabbed the heavy quilt, dragging it up to cover both her and Gabriel. Satisfied that they would stay warm, she kissed Gabriel's forehead and settled down next to him. He rolled to the side, her back pressed to his chest with his arm thrown casually across her waist. Anna was amazed to find herself not uncomfortable by this intimate position. It felt oddly right. She closed her eyes and within minutes was fast asleep herself.

Gabriel awoke to a curious and new sensation. A warm body was in his arms, the heat scalding him. He felt strangely rested, which he attributed to the fact that he had no nightmares that previous night that he could recall. He slowly opened his brown eyes, the bright sunlight streaming through the light coloured curtains making him squint slightly. The room was warm and cozy, unlike the cold atmosphere that had existed the night before. He peered down through heavily lidded eyes. A head of thick, curly, brunette hair lay on his bare chest. Light puffs of warm breath could be felt on his collar bone. He smiled and run his hand down her hair, smoothing the unruly locks.

Anna softly moaned as she slowly became aware of her surroundings, the sleep-induced haze taking a moment to depart. Soft, calloused hands were running up and down her back and arms. It felt oddly good; soothing; relaxing. The sunlight warmed her skin and made it appear to glow to her companion.

"Morning," Anna said to Gabriel, her voice soft and husky. She lifted her head off his chest and stared deeply into his deep, soulful brown eyes. He eyes were full of amusement and something that she wasn't quite sure off. "You're probably wondering why I'm in your bed and not mine," Anna looked a bit sheepish, realizing that the site she made looked a bit unusual, even to someone accustomed to unusual things.

"Well," Gabriel started laughter evident in his voice and a wide smile on his face, "it is a bit peculiar how you ended up in my bed when I'm very certain that I left you firmly tucked into your own bed."

"Well, um..., how exactly did I end up wearing only your shirt since I'm very certain I was fully dressed when I was at Dracula's castle?" Anna countered, remembering how she had awoken only in his shirt. At some point, her original clothing has been stripped off her body. She suspected it was Van Helsing's doing because there was no way Carl would have had the balls to do it. He would have been much too scared that Anna would have killed him when she woke up.

"I have a very good reason. How exactly was I suppose to treat your wounds if you were completely dressed? And I didn't think you would want to be re-dressed in your bloody and torn clothing," Van Helsing defended his actions, which were honestly good. He knew she would suspect him and want to hurt him. But he didn't have a choice! Anna would see that, after she had vented her anger on to him.

"I'm sure you feel that was a good enough reason," Anna started but then suddenly stopped, as the realization that he did what needed to be done hit her. And hit her head it did. She signed, unable to find a good reason to be mad at him and vent. She hated being wrong, especially to a man. Velkan had constantly mocked her as a child, saying that she, as a girl, knew nothing. He, as an eight-year-old, had claimed that men were superior to women. Thankfully, he did grow out of this stage but the anger at the thought had stayed with Anna for her entire life.

"Cat got your tongue?" Gabriel joked after Anna abruptly stopped her little speech. He knew she was smart and could see the necessity in his actions. That didn't mean she didn't feel violated. "I'm sorry about undressing you without your permission. I really didn't want to but I had no choice," Gabriel told Anna, his laughter gone from his tone and his face serious once more.

"I guess I forgive you," Anna replied to Gabriel, her thick accent making her voice soft and husky sounding. She spoke seriously but with a hint of amusement or laughter behind her tone. Her hand came up to brush a strand of his hair that had fallen on his cheek behind his ear. For a man, he has very soft, silky hair, Anna thought. She did so with a gentleness and tenderness that surprised both Van Helsing and herself. Just think, she thought, a few days ago I was cursing him and hoping he would leave me alone. Now I am becoming one of those silly English girls who blush whenever a man looks at them. God help me!

"How did you end up in my bed anyways? I know that I laid you in your bed and covered you with that red patterned quilt. Don't think I'm just going to ignore that fact." Gabriel spoke with a curious tone. He wanted to know why Anna was laying in his arms. Not that he minded. Her body was warm and gave him a sense of contentment, a feeling he had never experienced before. It had always been the mission. Focus on the mission was his mantra; his reason for living; his reason for existence. Ever since he had been found on the steps leading to the Vatican, he had been alone, searching for something. He had never felt like he was just a guy but he did now.

He could feel Anna's hazel green eyes on him but they weren't gazing at a monster killer, they were eyes gazing at a man. A normal, everyday, average-Joe type man. She didn't fear him or condemn him. She respected him; maybe even cared for him.

Anna didn't reply for a moment after he posed his question about her being in his bed. She was unsure how he would handle being told that she had found him having a nightmare. That her mere presence seemed to calm him down, letting him slumber peacefully without the horrors that seemed determined to consume him.

"I woke up and went to look for you. I found you thrashing around in your bed. I tried to wake you but I couldn't. But you seemed to calm down when I was here so I climbed into your bed," Anna told him, her voice soft and hesitant. She was unsure of how he would react to her confession. "Plus, I didn't think that I could make it back to my room without fainting."

Gabriel had a strange expression on his face; Anna noticed straight away after her little confession. She just couldn't tell if he was angry at her for seeing him like that.

"Oh, don't look at me like that. You would have done the same thing if our positions had been reversed." Anna's tone changed to a more anger-filled one, her anger coming from a place that she didn't know existed inside of her.

"Do you remember what you were dreaming off?" Anna asked, deciding to change the subject to get the heat off of her. Much better to put the pressure on Van Helsing, if you asked her for her personal opinion.

"No, I never remember" was Gabriel's reply. His voice was hesitant, like he was unsure as to how much he should reveal about himself. How much should he confess to Anna? Could she handle the truth? She knew all about her ancestors and, through them, drew strength. He knew nothing; his mind blank except for discordant fragments of battles fought years ago. He desired to tell the truth. He knew it would hurt her if he withheld information that later came to light. She would feel betrayed and might never speak to him again. He didn't want that to happen. He felt something for Anna, not love yet but an emotion that was so close to love, he had no clue what to call it. He decided to tell Anna everything.

"Truth be told, I don't remember much of my life," Gabriel Van Helsing confessed to Anna Valerious.

Anna's heart broke at this confession yet her mind screamed at her to disbelieve. Doesn't remember? How? What does that truly mean? These thoughts ran through her mind but she pushed them forcefully back, trying to focus solely on Gabriel and what he was going through.

"Surely you must have memories," Anna spoke firmly, trying to reason, logic taking over, clouding her impulse to confront him.

"Seven years ago, I turned up at on the Vatican's stairs, half-dead. I have no memories of my life before this time. The Order took me in, saying that my purpose was to kill monsters. By killing these monsters, I was atoning for my sins. Sins that I have no memory of committing but must have, or why else would God have taken my memories. I know nothing of my family. I live for my missions, they're all I have left," Gabriel told this all to Anna, his tone starting out flat and devoid of emotion, changing to impassioned then back to flat and empty.

Anna felt her heart tear and break. She had so much, her mind full of memories. Memories of her mom, her brother, her father. Happy times when they were a whole family. Before her mom was killed and her father disappeared. Before Velkan was bitten by a vampire. Before Van Helsing killed Velkan. But Van Helsing had nothing except memories from seven years. What were just seven years? Especially when they were spent hunting down and destroying monsters; becoming the most wanted man in Europe. The man that she found so strong and confident was more a lost little boy, being told what to do because he was "bad" and needed to become "good" again.

"You don't remember anything?" Anna asked again. She wanted to make sure that he wasn't holding anything back from her. She could handle the truth, and she would accept nothing less.

"I remember fragments of things…" he started before pausing, unsure of how to go on.

"What kind of things?" Anna's voice was soft and imploring, not demanding. Her eyes shone with sympathy and understanding.

"Of battles. Battles fought long ago. Battles that have been won or lost for centuries. Dracula said . . ." Gabriel couldn't finish, he couldn't admit what Dracula had told him.

"What did Dracula say?" Anna questioned, unwilling to let Van Helsing stop until he had told her everything. He needed to say it or he would forever be haunted by whatever Dracula had told him. "You can trust me, I promise."

Still, Gabriel paused, not responding. His gaze was downwards as he studiously studied his feet. Anna moved closer until she stood next to him. Her hand rose slowly and she softly caressed his cheek. She pushed a lock of his silky, brown hair behind his ear. Her hand trailed down his shoulder to his elbow to his hand. She threaded her fingers through his, silently offering her support for whatever he had to say.

"Dracula said that he and I were friends. He said . . . that I was the one who killed him. He didn't say why or why I remembered these ancient battles. He said I was the left hand of God." Gabriel didn't say it but it was obvious that this information had been bothering him.

"Shh, Dracula was just trying to mess you up, distract you from completing your mission," Anna spoke to him in a smoothing tone, trying to comfort him and alleviate his fears.

"But how do you know? One of the first things you said to me was 'Mr. Van Helsing, you've been called both a murderer and a saint. Which one is it?' What if I'm just a murderer, maybe that's the reason why I lost my memories," Gabriel said, his voice breaking and cracking. His eyes welled up, his emotions no longer veiled by his cool exterior.

Anna's heart broke once more at his confession and display of emotions. Tears welled up in her eyes. Gabriel looked so lost; like a child who has lost his puppy. He was so strong, yet he was a child deep inside. He had buried his emotions deep inside him, letting only out anger and hate. He had been so alone for so many years. She would be there for him, she decided at that moment. He could lean on her. He wouldn't have to stand by himself any longer.

"You're not a murderer. Even if you don't remember your past, you're still not a murderer. Do you want to know how I know this?' Anna asked Gabriel, her voice soft and full of love.

"How do you know?" was Gabriel's equally soft and tentative reply.

"Because I know you. Because I trust you. Because I love you," was Anna's loving answer.

Gabriel's face seemed to change the moment Anna said 'I love you.' The tears dried up and a small, but still noticeable, smile appeared on his handsome face. His eyes turned up and a small twinkle appeared his deep brown eyes. A feeling of happiness and warmth spread throughout his body.

Suddenly realizing that he had been staring at Anna for the past few minutes without saying anything, he decided he should respond to her profession. He leaned forward and gently kissed her full, red lips. It was a soft and gentle brushing of two people's lips. Her eyes were closed when he moved back to look at her again.

She slowly opened her hazel eyes that shone with adoration and love. Her chocolate-brown curls framed her face, giving her an angelic-like appearance, albeit an angel with dark hair instead of pure blonde. Gabriel couldn't help but lean forward to kiss her again. She noticed his intention and leaned forward too, closing her eyes as she did so. This kiss lasted longer and was more passionate. Eventually, after a few minutes, they reluctantly pulled apart. Their eyes slowly opening and shining with love. He reached out and gently pulled Anna to him, wrapping his arms around her slim frame. They stayed like that for awhile, standing and holding each other until Gabriel pulled her over to an over-stuffed sofa. He sat down and pulled Anna down too. She sat next to him with his left arm over her shoulders and his right hand gripping both of hers. But eventually, he knew it was time to let go.

"Come on, let's go back to bed," Gabriel said, standing up slowly. He reached down a hand down to Anna. She took it and he pulled her up even so gently, like she was a delicate flower that would break so easily. She decided against saying anything, choosing to savour the moment. Their fingers interlocked, they handed off to Anna's room to get a few more hours of sleep. But they were more at-eased than they had been for days. A new understanding had occurred between them and the beginnings of a relationship had been planted.

Please review. I don't care what you say, just let me know that people are actually reading this would be great.