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TV Shows » Charmed » My Heart's Confession
Mickis
Author of 55 Stories
Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Phoebe H. - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 08-15-04 - Published: 07-08-04 - Complete - id:1953024

Author's Note:Thank you,Barb, for beta reading this. You're the best! As for the rest of you, thanks a bunch for the lovely reviews. Please don't forget to leave one this time, too. Enjoy.


PART II

Phoebe woke up to the sun shining in from parts of the window, where the curtains weren't entirely closed together. A tiny ray of light split the floor of her room in two. Usually, she never paid any attention to the sun when waking up, but it was Sunday, and she had no place she had to go. Besides, it was the first morning without Cole. The first of many.

Yes, it had been a long time since they shared a bed, but that didn't mean she couldn't sense his presence gone. For this time, he really was gone.

She felt it in her heart.

There was an empty hole there that hadn't been there before... when he was alive.

Phoebe lifted her head from her pillow, feeling how her face was slightly stuck to the fabric, where her tears had dried during the night. Her face felt sore and itchy almost.

She hadn't cried like that in a long time. The last time was when she had to vanquish Cole, when he was the Source. And although she had swore to herself that she wouldn't cry like that for anyone ever again, she had broken that promise last night.

For him.

Phoebe sat herself up in the bed, staring at the ray of light across her floor. She then dried her clammy face with her soft covers, wiping away the last of her tears. But waking up with traces of tears felt different this time. It felt good. Because she needed last night. She really needed to cry, for all those times she had forced herself not to.

It felt as if she had just read the last page of her and Cole's book, and she was now closing it together, with a bittersweet feeling tickling in her heart.

They had indeed reached their final page. And it might not have ended with her and her prince living happily ever after, but she still loved that book with every inch of her soul. Because, thinking back to the chapters in it, her heart filled up with love. Because her tall, dark stranger had indeed swept her off her feet.

Phoebe wandered through the following chapters of their book, smiling once remembering the memories of them together. They had shone with such a powerful light, that even the sun had been jealous. There had been times as they had been in each other's arms, when it felt like they could never stop smiling. They had shared nights of such passion, that even the moon itself had stayed up a little longer, just to admire them.

Together, they had conquered the world with their love. Breaking all rules and writing new ones. They had written history, by just loving each other.

And she would never change the memory of him for anything in the world. No matter what evil took from her life; her hope, her future, her soulmate. No matter what evil had stolen from her it could never steal her memories. She would carry them with her through eternity. Even in her next life, a small part of him and their love would live on, cherished in her heart.

Upon wandering down memory lane, Phoebe suddenly thought of something. She peeked her naked feet out from the covers of the bed, and sat them on the cold surface of her floor. She lifted the covers off her and rose from her bed. As if following the notes of an old melody, a melody she hadn't danced to in forever, it seemed, she walked across the floor towards her closet. Once she stepped on the ray of light, she felt the floor was a little warmer, right on that spot. She looked at the closet for a brief moment before reaching out with her hand and opening the wooden door. It made a whispering creek and Phoebe carefully peeked inside, lowering her eyes towards the bottom of the closet.

She bent down, resting her body's weight on her feet, and slowly reached inside the closet, feeling her way towards the right corner of it. There, wrapped in the darkness, covered by a folded blanket, her fingers came upon the surface of a small wooden chest.

Phoebe grabbed the chest steadily with both hands, and she carefully lifted it out of her closet, where she had been hiding it for so long. Once the chest was out in the open, Phoebe put it upon the left side of her bed and swiftly turned around to close the closet, carefully, not to wake anyone.

She then climbed onto her bed, placing herself in front of the chest and crossing her legs, burying her feet underneath the fabric of her satin pyjamas. She then remained this way for a while, sitting there, staring at the chest. She didn't know if she was ready to open it yet. She had kept it closed for so long, and had honestly never believed this day would come. The day she pushed herself to look back.

For a long time, she just studied it. Its dark wooden material, with the curvy shaped lid, closing together with the bottom by a golden lock. Phoebe traced her hand along the top of it, feeling its smooth touch against her gentle fingers.

It had been Grams' chest. Grams had gotten it from her mother when she was a little girl, and she had kept her dearest belongings inside it. Phoebe had found it in the attic after Grams had passed away, after moving in with her sisters. She had secretly taken the chest to her own room and placed it inside her closet, where Prue or Piper wouldn't look.

It had stood there for a few years - empty. She hadn't began putting objects in it until she met Cole.

And she hadn't looked at them since she lost him.

However, the time had come to open it, and Phoebe traced her fingers towards the opening of the chest, flipping the tiny golden lock open. She took a deep breath, as if to prepare herself, and then opened the lid with her two hands clutched around it.

With trembling hands, she reached inside the chest, grabbing a piece of folded red fabric. Once lifting it, the object unfolded itself, and one of Cole's sweaters revealed itself. She had secretly stolen it from him, not really wanting to tell him it was for her hidden chest of memories. Phoebe looked at it for a second, before putting it against her face, beneath her nose where she took in the scent of her ex husband. And just by smelling it, her heart skipped a few beats, remembering the feeling of burying her face in the safety of his chest. She could almost hear his heart beat against her ear, as it had done when she used to rest her head against his strong body.

Almost.

Phoebe felt her throat dry up and her eyes stinging from fresh tears.

With a final squeeze of her hands, Phoebe put the sweater down in her lap. She took a moment to gather her composure before reaching inside the chest again. This time, her eyes spotted a tiny, blue box; its surface smooth and soft. Her trembling hand reached inside the chest, knowing with her every breath what it was reaching for. And before she could bring it out of the chest, she was thrown into a premonition, the very instant she touched it.


"What's that?" I asked, staring at the little box he played with in his hands, although I knew what it was. After all, it wasn't the first time he did this. Still, I had not seen it coming.

"This?" Cole asked, swiftly raising his hand, revealing the tiny object in it.

"Yeah." I quickly confirmed, for a second raising my brows, as if nodding

"It's just a little something I've been waiting for the right moment to give you." Cole replied, stepping closer to me, piercing his blue eyes into mine before returning his focus on the box.

I nervously glanced at it, my heart racing like crazy once he opened it. Inside hid a beautiful diamond engagement ring of the most expensive white gold. For a moment, I wondered how he had been able to afford it. Without a job and all.

"It's not your Grams', but..." He admitted, thinking back to the memory of proposing with her old ring, then looking back at me. "Hopefully it's not cursed." A slight chuckle escaped him.

"I-I don't think now is the time." I stuttered, mentioning the current mess the Source had created. Who's to say we all won't die tonight?

Cole looked at me for a second, as if contemplating my statement, before removing the ring from its box.

"Actually, I think now is the perfect time." He whispered, gently sliding the ring onto my slender finger, brushing my hand slightly with his fingers when taking my hand in his.

I couldn't help but smile at the beautiful moment we shared, even if everything else seemed dark. I looked into my fianc's eyes as he spoke of his love for me.

"This way no matter what happens, you'll always know that I love you." He said, burying his blue eyes deep into my very soul.

I sighed, knowing this ring might just be the only thing left of him, if my premonition turned out to be true. I gently touched the ring with my thumb and took a moment to admire it.

"It's beautiful.." I admitted, and for a second I surrendered to the moment. "Now you have to go."

"No, I'm staying here with you." Cole said firmly, his mind set on his decision.

"Do you want me to watch you die, too?" I asked, raising my voice at the thought of his limp body in my arms.

"If that's what it takes to save you - yeah." Cole answered, not backing out.

"No, but I'm supposed to save you." I argued. "That's why I got that premonition."

"Not necessarily." Cole said, taking a moment to think about it. "You know as well as I do you're not meant to stop every premonition." He gently looked into my scared eyes, as if trying to calm me. "Some are just meant to prepare you for what's to come."


Once back in reality, Phoebe felt her eyes burning from tears. That hadn't just been a memory. Everything had been so vivid. It had been as if she had stood face to face with him, and she remembered how she felt that very moment once he gave her that ring. The moment he proposed to her.

Phoebe carefully opened the box, choking a sob when she spotted that very same ring.

This way no matter what happens, you'll always know that I love you.

Phoebe gently gripped the ring with her right thumb and index finger, cherishing the feel of it against her skin. She put the ringbox down onto her lap, placing it upon his sweater, never letting her sight off the ring. Her eyes began to water up, and Phoebe covered her mouth with her left hand to drown the sobs that threatened to come out. But she could only postpone her pain for so long, and once blinking, hot tears trailed down her face. And Phoebe tightly shut her eyes to the empty world he had left her in.

After staring at the ring; playing with it between her fingers, Phoebe slowly put it back in its box, not being able to take much more. After giving the soft blue box one last caress with her thumb, Phoebe placed it in her lap.

Crying, she peeked into the chest, recognizing a framed picture inside it. She reached inside the chest, grabbing the picture with her right hand and carefully held it up in front of her. When looking at it, the tears started coming harder, for they looked so happy. It was as if their happiness had been frozen in time and kept inside that frame.

She could almost hear their laughter when looking at it, recalling the moment Piper had taken the picture of them. They had made copies, one for her and the other for Cole. And she remembered seeing his copy in his penthouse the night before, when they had gone there to see if he really was gone. He must've felt the same way once looking at the photograph.

Bittersweet.

She had put away the picture when finding out Cole was back from the Wasteland, along with the rest of her memories of him.

A hot tear escaped her chin and fell upon the glass of the picture, sliding down it. Phoebe dried the tear with her finger and placed the frame onto her bed, the picture upwards.

She then returned her attention to the chest, spotting an envelope inside it. After rubbing her hands against her pj's she hesitantly grabbed the letter, lifting it up from the safety of the chest. Trembling, Phoebe opened up the envelope, preparing herself for the pain once reading it. She enfolded it and held it steadily with both hands, and after a deep breath, her eyes traced across the paper, reading Cole's hand-written words to her.

Phoebe.

If I'm dead right now, I know it was at your hand. No one else in heaven or hell had power over me. Please don't cry. I was dead before I met you. I was born the day you loved me, and my love for you will keep me alive, forever.

Phoebe let go of the letter with her left hand, placing it over her mouth as her sobs echoed in the peaceful morning. She had to have read that letter a hundred times, and still it hurt as much as it did the first time she read it.

Her tears fell freely down the traces earlier tears had left upon her cheeks. This time, Phoebe surrendered to them and put down the letter in her lap, along with the rest of it. Her head almost burned up from her tears, and Phoebe rested her face in her hands, crying.

Her shoulder rapidly jumped up and down, as her sobs became louder by each breath.

After she had wept for a couple of minutes, concentrating on the memory of him, the tears had began to ease. Phoebe gently dried her face with her already wet hands, and prepared herself to put away the things. She grabbed the belongings in her lap, slowly placing them in the chest while still crying, silently. Then, as she noticed the frame on her bed, Phoebe thought of something better.

Phoebe grabbed the frame, slowly rising from her bed, and walked over to the other side of it. There, on her bedside table, she placed the picture where it belonged.

"I love you." She silently whispered, her voice frail from her tears.

She wasn't planning on forgetting Cole this time. This time, she would carry him with her, always. And that picture was simply there to remind her of the love she lost. She wasn't going to turn into that bitter old woman she became in the future.

Sure, thinking of Cole now was unbearably painful. But as time went along, his memory would bring a smile to her face. For they had loved each other more than life itself. And she had had the pleasure of spending a few years of their lives together. And in that moment Phoebe knew, that when her last breath left her lips, she would still love him as much as she did when he proposed to her in this very room. She would indeed love him forever, if perhaps not longer.


Demon and witch

Heaven and hell, black and white

Autumn and spring, darkness and light

On separate sides, a life they had

For opposite reasons, a battle they lead

Still, against all odds, rules and fate

They mixed together; love and hate

But as the sun never shines, in the darkness of night

Their love couldn't live, through their destiny's fight

Yet their legend lives on; a scar from love's stitch

For there once was an item, of demon and witch

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