As usual I own nothing. Unfortunately, all of these characters I am
borrowing and just playing with them.
I thought I would do this chapter on Bailey's view of that night and I
think the next one will be Sarah's POV. So unlike the first 2 chapters
this one is in first person point of view.
Thanks for all of your reviews you all made my day (
Bailey's POV
Wow. That's the only word to describe it. Out of thousands of restaurants
in the city, we had to go to this one. God, the odds must be one in a
million.
Sure I had fantasies about coming to visit Claud and accidentally running
into Sarah like it was the universe's serendipitic way of putting us
together. Who wouldn't? I mean Sarah was like my soul mate. At least I
thought she was. But I never thought that it would actually ever happen.
I am still in denial. I pinch my skin to make sure this night is not
actually a dream. And it isn't. It is a living nightmare.
I am glad that my family isn't here because I don't know what to say and I
don't really feel like putting my feelings into words. I know that if my
sisters were here they would want every detail. I can see Claudia
harassing me for information. I know I have to talk to them eventually.
But right now I just can't. In fact I can't even think straight my mind is
in a blur. The last time I felt like this was when Sarah left and I
realized that she would never come back again.
God, I hate thinking about that day. In fact, I used to spend a good part
of every day trying to keep myself busy so that I don't think about it
because it was the hardest thing to get over. It took awhile but low and
behold I did.
I still cant believe that I left like that. Throughout the past couple of
years, I imagined in my head what would I say if I was ever put in this
situation. And it certainly wasn't 'I have to go now.' I wanted to ask
her so many questions. Like why did you leave? How could you leave Owen?
And would it have killed you to pick up a phone? The main question I like
just wanted to ask her Why?
But like a coward I just left and with that none of my questions were left
unanswered.
Thinking about this now, I guess I have some repressed grief over this
whole situation and the last thing I need to be is angry.
If I had passed Sarah on the streets, I don't even think that I would have
recognized her. Her hair was a different color, she had lost weight, and
something else was different I just can't put my finger on it. I mean she
has probably changed in two years because I know that I have. Come on,
since she has left I have moved and for the first time since my parents had
died, I felt like the weight of my family had been lifted off my shoulders.
Actually, I cant believe I am think about this now. Just the other day I
was on the phone with my older brother Charlie and he asked me a very
simple question, "Bay are you happy?"
With most people this question is no big deal. But it was always something
I struggled with.
And without any type of hesitation, I answered, "Yes" And for once I
actually meant it. I wasn't just telling him what he wanted to hear and he
must have sensed it in my voice. I know it surprised Charlie but it also
shocked me too. I love school. I love living on the east coast because it
is such a different dynamic of the west coast. I love everything about my
life from the frequent phone calls to my sisters and my nightly phone call
with Owen. I love that all of the members of my family have found their
place in the world. In fact, if you asked me yesterday I would of told you
that there is not one thing I would change about my life. And now I am not
so sure. The haze on my shoulders surrounds the happiness.
Now is time to ask myself a question. 'Do I want to see her again?' I
don't know what the answer is. Even though it is a simple question just
thinking about it makes my brain feel like it is going to explode into a
million pieces all over the sidewalk.
After walking probably countless blocks, I arrive at the hotel. I look at
my watch I must have been walking around in a daze for the past two hours.
I enter the revolving doors of the hotel and the first thing I see is the
bar.
Since it is after two am, it is deserted. I go in not sure of what I want.
The bartender asks me what I want. I know I want a drink of beer but it
is just not worth it. It would be so easy for the bartender to pour me a
cold beer and I know that it will help ease my pain only temporarily. But
it is just not worth it. It is tempting but not worth falling off the
wagon again. I get up without saying a word and I practically run to the
elevator.
I go to the room that I am sharing with Will for the weekend. I stand in
the hallway with my key in my hand. I try to turn the key ever so quietly
because I know if I wake Will up that I will have to explain everything to
him. And I don't think that I am ready to do this. I take a deep breath
and open the door.
I see Will sitting on his bed watching the television.
"Bailey, seriously, we have to stay in hotels more often you gotta love
their selection of television shows. Come on they got everything. I just
watched the Naughty Nurses Portuguese and I think it was better."
Will rambled some more on the different programs that he had watched that
night on the hotel's cable. However, everything he said just went in one
year and out the other. For all I know he was talking about nuclear
physics. I just keep nodding my head so he thinks that I am listening to
him intently.
Before I can say anything, Will cuts to the chase, "So what happen you know
after I left?"
"Yeah, I was meaning to ask you if you found your sunglasses?"
"Come on Bay, you knew that we had to get out of their the tension between
you two was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Even Victor and
Todd sensed it and they didn't have any clue of what was going on. I just
thought that if we left maybe it would alleviate some of the anxiety and
then maybe you two could talk."
"Yeah I knew you only had the best intentions. But to tell you the truth
after you guys left it unease and the angst got to world record levels
after you left. Finally I couldn't take it anymore so I made up some sorry
excuse and left."
"You left just like that?"
"Yeah, well ,excuse me Will. There isn't exactly any type of etiquette
book for this situation. I didn't know what to do so I panicked."
"You freaked out and left?"
"Yeah Will what did you think I did?"
"I thought you two would at least talk."
"Easier said than done. Look its past 3. I don't really feel like
hashing this out play by play for you. I just need to sleep. Besides I
have to meet my sisters in like 4 hours for breakfast. Just do me a favor
and let me sleep."
Will beguilingly turned off the TV and turned the lights off. Within
minutes Bailey could hear his friend snoring on the other bed.
However, Sleep is one thing, he would not get that night.
TBC
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I will try and update as soon as possible but it probably wont be until
late on Monday.
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