" December 24th, Nine PM
Eastern Standard Time
From here on in
I shoot without a script
See if anything comes of it
Instead of my old shit"

-Tune Up #1, RENT

It was freezing. It was late. Blink was the youngest person in this line and he could not believe he was here. This was fucking ridiculous. But it couldn't be helped. You do what you gotta do for the people you love.

But the weird thing was, for most people, to show them you love them you bought them diamonds or pretty clothes or something expensive. What was Blink buying? Tickle-Me-Elmo. You heard right: Tickle-Me-Elmo. The stupid little red monster doll with the orange ping-pong ball nose, where if you poked its stomach, it had a fucking orgasm. Blink smirked; if only it were always that easy.

And he wasn't even buying the stupid doll for his cousin or his baby sister or anything. He was buying it for his boyfriend. Mush, Blink's crazy psycho boyfriend who had this... obsession with Elmo the Monster from Sesame Street, God knew why. Blink could never fool around in Mush's bedroom, because it was creepy to have all those Elmos just... staring at you. The border around Mush's walls had Elmo, the curtains had Elmo, the bedspread was Elmo (how Mush got Elmo bedding for a queen size bed, Blink never knew), but the whole thing was just weird.

Plus, Mush's Chicken Dance Elmo had a glitch, and went off at loud noises. Considering how loud Mush could be when he and Blink fooled around, well... would you like it if you were a step away from orgasm and suddenly you heard "ELMO WANTS TO BE A CHICKEN! ELMO WANTS TO BE A DUCK! CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!"

No. Not fun at all.

The other issue at hand here was that Mush already had a Tickle-Me-Elmo. Of course he did. But this... oh, this was the tenth anniversary edition. Yeah, ten fucking years since the original was released, and there's not even one difference between the two toys.

Blink shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket and tried to shrink himself further into it, tired of seeing his breath on the air and wishing the line would move faster. All these old people were being retarded; their kids wouldn't remember the original Tickle-Me-Elmo, so why bother buying them the stupid tenth anniversary edition? That's like buying the twentieth anniversary edition of Blazing Saddles for an eight year-old. Jesus H. Christ on a fucking pogo stick.

The line moved, slowly and steadily, and Blink sighed, blowing his blonde bangs up out of his face. This sucked hosewater. He wanted to go home.

But alas! The things one does for love. Blink looked up at the sky, sighed again, and prayed no one in the line would talk to him. They all looked like paranoid retards anyway. Jesus. Mush better appreciate this tomorrow morning. He'd just better.

The line moved slowly, and Blink glanced at his watch, annoyed. How long could it take to get in the warehouse, buy the fucking toy, and leave? They were all the same. Just grab the next one and go.

He reached the front of the line around eleven-thirty, and almost had a heart attack when he saw how few of the dolls were left. After all that ludicrous standing around in the freezing cold with a bunch of fucking old-timers, he might not even get the goddamn doll? Now how fair was that?

Blink counted the available dolls, then the people ahead of him in line. If each person before him got one doll, there would be just one left for Blink. He smiled to himself. Perfect.

The line inched forward, and at ten to midnight, Blink stepped up for his turn.

"One, please," he said, grinning to himself. The young man behind the counter looked him over and smirked.

"I don't know whether to congratulate you, or wish you luck," he said, tossing the doll to Blink.

"I'll run to my car," Blink responded, pulling out his wallet and handing over the money. "And if you distract these people, you can keep the change."

The man laughed. "Good deal. I'll give it a shot."

So Blink turned and ran. He tucked the doll under his arm and sprinted to his car, and for good reason. The man behind the counter attempted to keep a fight from breaking out by pretending there were other dolls in the back, but the ruse didn't work. A balding man saw Blink run past, saw the empty shelves, and cried, "That kid got the last one!" Another man grabbed Blink's jacket and tore it as Blink ignored his touch and kept running. So a couple little brats didn't get their Tickle-Me-Elmo for Christmas. So what? Get them Limbo Elmo or something, they won't know the difference. Blink, though, had a boyfriend who had specifically asked for the tenth anniversary edition Tickle-Me-Elmo. Blink had no other choice.

He leapt into his car and pulled away, cranking up Queen on the radio (screw Christmas carols) and laughing at the sight of enraged and psychopathic parents in his rearview mirror.

"We are the champions - my friend
And we'll keep on fighting till the end
We are the champions
We are the champions
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions of the world."

Christmas morning came and went, and Blink drove to Mush's place that afternoon, the doll wrapped in gold paper and sitting complacently in the passenger seat, entirely unaware of what its buyer had done to get it. Ah well. Blink was sure Mush had bought him something good and even if he hadn't, Blink was guaranteed a seat at the Meyers' dinner table, a seat he wouldn't pass up for the world, not with Mrs. Meyers's famous green beans. His stomach growled just thinking of them as he pulled into Mush's driveway and got out of the car, struggling to keep a hold on the awkwardly large package Elmo was kept in.

"Hi, Mrs. Meyers," he said when the tiny woman with dark skin answered the door. He kissed her cheek and stepped inside.

"How're you, Lou?" She asked, smiling.

"A little tired, but good."

"Tired? Why?" She led him to the front room and made him sit down on her pink couch. "Staying up waiting for Santa Claus?"

He gave her a look. "No ma'am. I was out 'till midnight getting a gift for your son."

"You waste too much time on him."

"You're telling me."

Mrs. Meyers laughed. "I'll get Nick. And you know you're welcome to stay for dinner?"

Blink clapped his hands. "Thank you, Mrs. Meyers, thank you!"

She laughed again and left the room, calling for Mush. Blink toyed with the red ribbon around the gift, tugging on it and shaking slightly as he always did when he was about to see Mush. As much as he liked to complain about Mush's abnormal obsession, Blink did love him. Such affection made him nervous.

Mush appeared in his mother's place, and went to kiss Blink hello. "Merry Christmas," he said, grinning the charming smile he inherited from his father. "Glad you came."

"Of course. I have a present for you and I'm not waiting until school starts to give it to you." Blink shrugged. "Because I'd just be embarrassed."

"You suck." Mush poked his nose, then went to the tree and grabbed a large box wrapped in shiny blue paper with penguins. "But I got you something anyway."

"Sweet!" Blink tossed his package to Mush and caught the one Mush threw at him. "You open yours first."

"No, you go first, asshole."

"Nick! Language!" Mrs. Meyers called from the kitchen.

Mush winced. "Sorry, Mom."

Blink grinned. "Now you're in trouble. If you don't want more, open the freaking present."

"Okay, okay. Here. We open them at the same time. And no tricks." Blink snapped his fingers and Mush grinned. "All right, one... two... three, go!"

Mrs. Meyers peeked out of the kitchen at the sound of tearing paper, then rolled her eyes as soon as she saw the Sesame Street logo on Mush's present, and went back to her ham.

Mush actually squealed and leapt to hug Blink as soon as he realized what sort of present he was receiving. "I love it I love it I love it!" he gushed, planting a kiss on Blink's cheek. "Thank you, Blink, you have no idea how much I love it!"

"Yes I do, now get off me so I can see what I got." Blink snorted and pushed Mush away. "Psycho."

"You're one to talk."

Blink made a face at him, then finished opening his present. Mush knelt on the floor, grinning expectantly up at him. "Well?" he prompted as Blink stared at his gift.

Blink swallowed and shook his head. "I've been looking everywhere for this! Where'd you find it?"

"Bought it off Amazon. You like?"

Blink stared at his boyfriend, then opened the box and took its contents out, placing the batteries inside and setting the item up on the coffee table before pressing the button.

"We did it! We did it!" The Dora doll sang, spinning and flapping her hair around her head. A smile strained its way onto Blink's face, and as Dora the Explorer continued her song and dance, Blink grabbed his boyfriend and kissed him fiercely.

"Hey! Keep it G-rated! She's seven!" Mush cried, laughing and pushing him away.

"I know how old she is, I love Dora more than you do."

"This I know." Mush pursed his lips in a pout. "Sometimes I think you like Dora more than you like me."

Blink ruffled Mush's hair. "Don't be stupid. Dora's a girl. Fuck girls. But I have to worry about Elmo."

"Psht. Please. He's six, and fucking red all over. I want to adopt him, not sex him up."

"Boys! Language!"

"Sorry Mrs. Meyers!" Blink called to the kitchen as Mush put his hand over his mouth to stifle laughter. "C'mon, Mush. Let's go play with our toys."

Mush got up, took Blink's hand, and the boys took off for Mush's room, leaving Elmo and Dora forgotten on the table.

All boys have to grow up some time.

"ELMO WANTS TO BE A CHICKEN ELMO WANTS TO BE A DUCK CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK!"

Mrs. Meyers rolled her eyes at the sound and kept cooking. What the boys did in the privacy of her son's bedroom was none of her business.

She just wished Chicken Dance Elmo wasn't so freaking loud.

.::AUTHOR'S NOTE::.

I need to die for doing this. Not the Blush thing; that was actually kinda fun, though no one's going to convert me to it anytime soon. But the whole Elmo and Dora thing. For that, someone just needs to shoot me. Because I am insane. Mwahahaha.

I enjoyed this one. The ending probably could have been better, but it's freaking one o'clock in the morning and I'm tired.

Only for B would I write Blush. Just like only for Cello and Stage would I write Sputchy. Some people are so special. XD BLINK WEEK.