A/N: I wrote this when I was bored…and was feeling silly. It think it's entertaining…read on!

Summary: The trio think they've hexed Malfoy…only it's not him, it's a look-alike by the name of Tom…

A PLAY: The Hooded (Leif: Robed!) People

Setting: Grassy hill. There are no buildings in sight. It is afternoon. Leif and Mark are sitting down and look up as Tom comes up the side of the hill.

Leif: Not looking too good, Tom.

Tom: I don't feel good, either. (splays slugs all over Leif)

Mark: It's those stupid people in hoods.

Tom: Bloody hooded people. (splays slugs again)

Leif: It's robes.

Tom: Bloody robed people.

Leif: Get your slugs away from me!

Tom: I can't help it. (splays more slugs on Leif)

Mark: Eurgh!

Leif: Why did they do that to you?

Tom: No idea.

Mark: No idea?

Tom: None.

Mark: None at all?

Tom: I told you no, you infuriating boy!

Mark: Stop insulting me.

Tom: Or what?

Mark: (points) Or those hooded people will do something to you.

Leif: It's robes!

Three hooded – er, robed – people appear. They are singing.

Harry: Oh, we got him!

Ron: The rotter…

Hermione: Now he's splaying

Harry: Slugs like a slugger!

Ron: Like a bugger!

Hermione: No a slugger

Harry: That's right.

Ron: Not bugger?

Hermione: Not bugger.

Ron: Why not?

Harry: Cause it's true!

Ron: But he's a bugger.

Hermione: He's got a point.

Harry: Who cares? I'm in charge.

What I say

Goes.

Ron: I don't agree.

Not one bit.

Who made you

The boss?

Harry: Why, me

Of course

Whoever

Did you think?

Hermione: Voldemort?

Ron: Surely not!

Harry: Of course not!

Don't be stupid.

Tom: I still don't know

Why I'm splaying slugs.

Mark: You wouldn't.

You're so dumb

You wouldn't know

A slug

From a chicken

Tom: I resent that,

Very much.

Leif: Bet the robed people don't.

Ron: No, we don't.

Mark: Have you noticed

He's stopped

Splaying slugs?

Hermione: Oh, dear

The spell's

Worn off.

Malfoy will be

Really mad

Now.

Tom: Who's Malfoy?

Harry: Why you, of course!

Tom: No, I'm Tom!

Ron: Right, and you expect us to believe that every –

Mark: Stick to the poem

You orange-haired

Oaf.

Ron: Keep yours shut

Or I'll shove it up –

(clears throat) ahem!

As I was saying

You're Malfoy

Believe it

Or not.

Tom: I am?

Hermione: Yes you are!

Tom: I'm Malfoy?

Leif: Stop being annoying! You're driving me up the wall –

Mark: Stick to the poem

You orange-haired

Oaf.

Leif: Just realised

I'm a redhead

Like Ron…

Tom: To the matter at hand

Am I Malfoy or not?

I'm pretty sure

I'm Tom

Not Bom

Or Bam

Or Malfoy, even

Just Tom!

Harry: Maybe.

Ron: Maybe.

Hermione: You could be right

You could be wrong

Who knows?

Leif: I do!

He's Tom

I know it

For a fact.

Mark: You've got the wrong man

You hooded –

Leif: Robed!

Mark: Hooded young folks.

Be off, don't disturb

Our good Tom again.

Harry: Our apologies then

For troubling your day

We'll be off

Don't fret

We'll never come back.

Hermione: And you

Dear Muggles

Shall know nothing.

She waves a stick and they all disappear – the hooded (Leif: Robed!) people, I mean.

Tom: (blinks) What were we talking about?

Leif: No idea. Let's eat.

A/N: Heh, okay, so there's a sample of what I get up to when I'm bored and feeling a bit silly :P Review, people! Tell me it's stupid, whatever, just review! Lol…