Hi all! Okay, I gotta admit it – I am a HUGE fan of bizarre and random fanfics, so much so that I've decided to write my own. This has gotta be the wackiest, most random fic I've EVER written! PLEASE R&R!!
Disclaimer: Round The Twist – not mine, never will be
And now . . . let the randomness begin!
LET'S GO MAKE SCIENCE HISTORY!!!!LINDA:
Dude, calm down, it's just a science project.PETE:
And you won't even be doing any of the work, Bronson you lazy little turd. You just conned Anthony into doing the whole thing for you.BRONSON:
Hey, I never conned no-one! Now, LET'S GO MAKE SCIENCE HISTORY!!!!PETE & LINDA:
TO THE SCIENCE LAB!!PETE:
Uh, we're already IN the science lab.BRONSON:
What? How did THAT happen?LINDA:
[sarcastically] Marvel at the wonder of random fanfic randomness . . .BRONSON:
Yeah, well, whatever. LET'S GO MAKE SCIENCE HISTORY!!!!PETE:
WOULD YOU STOP
[appears out of nowhere] READY TO MAKE SCIENCE HISTORY!!!! [flashes the Vulcan salute] Live long and prosper, dudes!BRONSON:
G'DAY, FELLOW SCIENTIST DUDESKI!!!!LINDA:
Dude, can we PLEASE just get this over with?!ANTHONY:
Okey-dokey. shoves Linda into a chairLINDA:
Hey, I thought Pete was s'possed to be your guinea pig too!PETE:
You crazy? Like I'd EVER trust Bronson or Anthony with my most precious asset.LINDA:
What, your brain? [aside] Or lack thereof . . .PETE:
Err . . . yes, that's right . . . my brain
. . .ANTHONY:
Okay! [produces an alarmingly long steel probe out of thin air] Now Linda, this nozzle is going to measure your brain waves and neural activity and all that other sciency stuff. Now, I'm gonna have to insert this up your nose –LINDA:
– so just sit tight and relax, it should only be uncomfortable for a few seconds.LINDA: AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
%!!!!!!! $##&&% OOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!
%##((& SON OF A
%&$#&$#&$(#(&!#()&$#$!!! %%$$##!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!ANTHONY:
Uh, Linda? I haven't PUT the nozzle in yet.LINDA:
Huh? Oh, okay, carry on. [Anthony rams the nozzle up her nose.]ANTHONY:
Now, let's get turned on!LINDA:
Uhhhh . . . I mean, let's get the MACHINE turned on, of course. Ha ha ha . . .LINDA:
Uh-huh, sure, whatever . . .PETE:
[Anthony points to a huge beeping machine that appears out of nowhere]ANTHONY:
THAT machine!! [attaches the probe to the machine] Bronson, turn it on!BRONSON:
No problemo, dudeski! [hits the "on" button] LET'S GO MAKE SCIEN –
What the HELL was THAT?!BRONSON:
The machine went "SCHLOOOOUURRPPP!!
WELL, THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!PETE: OH GAWD!!! LINDA'S BRAIN HAS TOTALLY BEEN SUCKED OUTTA HER HEAD!!!!!!!ANTHONY:
Oh gosh, it has. [picks up Linda's brain and sighs dreamily] Ohhhhhh, Linda, even your brain is gorgeous . . .PETE:
o.O;; Dude, you got serious issues . . .LINDA'S BRAIN:
Yo yo yo! What up all mah homies!PETE:
Don't worry, dudeskis! Everything'll turn out fine, it ALWAYS does!PETE:
How the HELL can everything turn out fine??? Linda is DEAD!!!! [aside] AND her brain is possessed . . .BRONSON:
Don't be stupid. She ain't dead.ANTHONY:
SHE HAS NO BRAIN!!! OF COURSE
God, you guys are dumb! She's got no brain, so she's become a zombie! DUH!!
[Linda starts shuffling towards them in a stiff zombie-like fashion]LINDA:
Ooaaagh . . . uuurrrrrrrrrgggggghh . . . nnuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh . . . [unintelligible zombie noises]ANTHONY:
As luck would have it, I know how to speak zombie!PETE:
So, what's she saying?ANTHONY:
Uhhh . . . something along the lines of "sultana . . . crazy cow . . . taxi"LINDA:
Diiiieeeeee Anthonnyyyyy you jerrrrrrrrrkkkk . . . you sucked out my braaaiiiinnnn . . .ANTHONY:
OH GAWD! SHE WANTS TA KILL ME!!!!
[randomly singing to the tune of that incredibly annoying "Sultana Bran" jingle] DON'TCHA KNOW THAT BANANAS ON THE GRAPE VINE, ARE ALCOHOLIC SO THEY TASTE LIKE WINE! OOH YEAH YEAH, BANANAS FROM THE GRAPE VINE!!LINDA:
Uuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr . . . [POP!] OW! MY EYE RANDOMLY POPPED OUT!!BRONSON:
BABIEEEEEEES!! WHO WANTS-A BABIEEEEEES?!PETE:
Bron, I thought Dad told you that you CAN'T sell babies without a permit!BRONSON:
What? I got a permit already!!PETE:
Oh, that's okay then.LINDA:
SOMEONE HELP ME FIND MY EYE!!BRONSON:
Ha ha, now alls ya need is a peg leg an' a parrot, an' you could be a pirate!LINDA:
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr me hearties!
[Everything suddenly goes black]ARIEL:
[appears out of nowhere] BEHOLD THE ENDLESS ABYSS! WITHIN IT LIES THE HEART OF ALL WORLDS: KINGDOM HEARTS!
You know, the game Kingdom Hearts
We're ignoring you anyways.ARIEL:
KINGDOM HEARTS, FILL ME WITH THE POWER OF DARKNESS! SUPREME DARKNESS!!!!
Y'know, you make a REALLY sucky villain . . . no offence :pARIEL:
RRRRRRRRRRRRRR . . . SCREW YOU GUYS! I'M GOING HOME!!! [disappears]BRONSON:
What the f –LINDA:
BRONSON, WATCH THE LANGUAGE! THIS IS A G-RATED FIC!PETE:
Well, it's actually rated PG-13 . . . so yeah . . .BRONSON:
I was gonna say "fruitcake", honest!LINDA: Sure
, DAMMIT!!! [bops Linda on the head]
BRONSON, YOU BLOODY BUGGER!! YOU MADE MY OTHER
EYE POP OUT!!!!!!!! &$%##!!! Wait a sec . . . heeeeeyy, both my eyes have popped out, but I can still see!ANTHONY:
That's because all your eyes do is let in light – you actually see with your brain.LINDA:
Oh, okay . . . hang on . . . BUT MY BRAIN IS GONE
Doom doom DOOM!
[gasps] OH NO! Will Linda get her eyes and brain back?? Will Anthony tell Linda how he feels about her?? Will Bronson stop calling everybody "dudeski"?? Will this madness never end?? Find out in the wacky second chapter of "RANDOM ROUND THE TWIST RANDOMNESS"!! Love, peace & chicken grease!