Conversations and Communications Between The Bad, The Worse, The Ugly, and The Just Plain Scary Letter # 1 Liz Thanks to my beta of this story, Any, for the help!! :) hugs

AN: Hi to anybody who falls onto this letter. I hope you like it. There should be more coming out sometime......

Rated: Not a clue... guessing PG or heck even G... :)

Letter 1:Dated about 3017 T.A. from Gollum to Shelob.

To Our Lady, Shelob,

We's is stuck. Caughts by the nasty tall man and hisss friendsss, those stinkin' elvesss, we hates them. They ties us up and covers our eyes, yes ties us with hurting ropes.gollum, gollum, ahhh

They ask us questions, questions, were was we and hows were we talking to the ssspidersss. Yes, they asks. But we don't tell them, nooo!, the nasties pestie elves!!!

Wes were just minding our own business and theys hunts us and finds us. We bites them, yess and ohh! hows they yell, we bites them on the hands and they ties us, ties us hard!, and then gollum takes us to stinkin' elves place. It smells nasties elves all over! Our noses aches!

Wes been in Mordor, yes and hows they hurts us, they stretched us until our boneses pop. The black Nazguls ask us questions and wes hurt bad! Wes only tells them Baggins and Shire!! Thens they lets us go, and orcs follow us. But they don't knows that we knows them following us!

Wes must go now, the man and the elvesss prinsss comes to us. They are going to ask us more questions,ahhh! gollum I sends this letter with yours daughters, One Tooth ands Sharp Poisssen.

Gollum.

Dumb? yes. fun to write? duh? why did you think I wrote it, cause my english teacher told me to? I think n0t :)