I Hate Your Guts
Whoever says that Celeborn loves Galadriel is wrong. This is how he really feels…

This is a silly idea I had while wondering about what floats in Celeborn's silvery old head. I don't own anything. Feedback is appreciated. Lord of the Rings is not mine. It's in Celly's POV.

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There are many things I've never said or shared. Like the time when I didn't share my beloved Cabbage Patch doll with Haldir and the time when I didn't thank the young waitress at TGI Friday's. There are things about Galadriel that I should keep to myself, probably because she'd kick my arse if I told her the truth. Galadriel has these insanely weird powers, so she probably knows anyway. If you find out, Galadriel, you burping mustard packet, bring it on!

Galadriel, you insensitive wart, I can't believe I married you! What the heck was I thinking? Well, back in those days I spent my time thinking of ways to trap Austin Powers in a clay jar I made in art class when I was seven. I don't think I considered who to marry. I deeply regret that. I am very ashamed to admit that I impregnated the ugly blonde bugger, therefore ruining the world because my daughter's daughter would produce many stupid Kings of Gondor. Men, as we all know, look like flirtatious chickens. The "flirtatious chickens" are taking over Middle-earth…bwak!

But that can be a good thing, home slice. It is time for the dominion of men and Galadriel's departure to Valinor. Thank Eru that she's going away. She wants me to join her later, but I don't think I will. I'd rather jump off the Empire State Building while holding a large calico cat than spend the rest of eternity with an omnipotent freak in an ugly white gown who happens to be my wife. Galadriel, if you're reading my thoughts, I want you to know that I hate your guts.