"So, Tara, you must be getting pretty excited about UCS by now. Only a few more days," Amy stated with a smile as she, Xander, Buffy, Willow, Tara and Angel sat around their usual table at the Bronze.

Tara smiled and nodded. "I am looking forward to it. Anything to get me out of my house, plus the college thing is gonna be fun."

Willow rubbed Tara's back slowly at the mention of her not so wonderful home life. "You are so lucky, I wish I was going away to college. Then I could take all the super knowledge courses with people that actually want to learn."

Buffy tuned out the conversation about college around her and sat in silence thinking about something else on her mind. Well, someone else…Cordelia to be specific. She hadn't talked to her all summer; she'd only gotten updates from Angel about how she was doing with her parents in Spain. She was brought out of her short-lived thoughts by a gentle hand on her arm. When she looked up Angel was watching her carefully and he gave her a smile. "You okay, Buff?"

She shook her head and gave him a sad smile. "Just thinking about her." Angel nodded and released her arm after giving it a little squeeze. "Is she coming by tonight?"

He checked his watch and gave her a small shrug. "She said she might stop by to see everyone since it's the back to school bash but I don't know if she will."

Buffy nodded and went back to her thoughts. A little while later she stood up and kissed everyone good-bye on the cheek, telling them she'd see them in the morning for school. She grabbed her coat from the back of her chair and stopped for a moment when she noticed her friends looking at something across the club. When she looked, she saw Cordelia walking in the front door watching them. The former lovers locked gazes as the rest of their friends watched to see what would happen next between the two of them.

Buffy gave her ex a small, sad smile, which was returned and she sighed heavily as she turned to leave. She turned once more before reaching the side exit of the club only to lock gazes with Cordelia once again. She was captivated by the look in Cordelia's eyes that she thought she would never see again. The brunette was looking at her with love and longing but she couldn't help noticing the sadness in her eyes as well. With a small wave and a blown kiss she left her ex with their friends to walk home alone.

"Hey," Buffy said softly. It was the first day of school and she and the gang gathered in the library before school to make sure all was well on the nasty front.

Cordelia gave her a small smile. "Hi."

"How was Spain?" she asked as she took a seat at one of the library tables.

Cordelia shrugged and sat across from the slayer. "All in all, pretty sucky. Dad was never around and mom was being a bitch so I kept to myself for the most part." She paused for a moment and chewed on her lip before looking up. "You didn't stick around last night."

The slayer shrugged and looked down at the table. "I was leaving anyways and I didn't want to crowd you or make you uncomfortable, besides I've been with everyone all summer so I wanted you to have some time with them without us drama."

Cordelia furrowed her brow and thought about Buffy's statement. "Why do you assume there'd be us drama?"

Buffy thought for a moment and shrugged, keeping her eyes averted. "Maybe because we haven't really seen each other since we broke up and I still have no idea where we stand," she replied quietly. Cordelia nodded and a small silence fell over them.

Buffy played with her nails and shifted uncomfortably. "So, when do tryouts start?"

"Tryouts for what?" she asked with a quirked eyebrow.

Buffy furrowed her brows for a moment. "Cheerleading tryouts."

"Oh." Cordelia shrugged and Buffy noticed a tiny shiver run through her ex. "I don't know. I'm not trying out this year. I haven't been able to bring myself to go back into the locker room since...ya know."

Buffy nodded sadly thinking back to the awful year she and her friends had faced. "I missed you," she murmured quietly.

Cordelia bowed her head, trying desperately to swallow her tears and she nodded. "I missed you too," she said, her voice cracking slightly.

Buffy struggled with her own tears and sniffled. "So why are we still apart?" she asked softly.

Cordelia shook her head and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "I need to know that I'm really what you want."

"Cor, I quit the band and told Kate to stay away from me for real. I don't have anything to do with her or any of them," she admitted softly.

"You shouldn't have quit because of me," the brunette insisted.

Buffy shook her head. "I didn't. I wanted to get rid of Oz and they didn't want to and Kate was pissing me off and being a bitch, so I quit. I did it for me."

Cordelia nodded sadly and sat silently for a moment. "I need to think about it, can you give me some time?"

Buffy nodded, somewhat heartened at the brunette's response. "Yeah, I've got all the time in the world."

Cordelia smiled and nodded and the two of them looked up as the rest of their friends joined them at the table for sugary goodness and they got down to business as usual.

When Buffy emerged from her fifth period class, she was pleasantly surprised to see Cordelia waiting for her. She gave the brunette a smile as they fell in step heading for English class together.

"How's your day been?" Buffy asked after a moment.

Cordelia shrugged and sighed. "Not too bad, it seems like everyone's finally calmed down and they've stopped talking about me, so that's a plus."

Buffy gave her a warm smile and nodded. "Good. I noticed things have been pretty quiet too, although I wasn't around at lunch so I'm sure I missed a bit."

Cordelia gave her a funny look. "Where were you anyways?"

"I wanted to get a little extra training in, so I skipped," she replied with a shrug. "Plus I didn't want to crowd you or anything."

Cordelia rolled her eyes as they approached their class and she stopped outside the door. "Summers, you having lunch with me and our friends isn't going to crowd me." She used her index finger to tilt the slayer's chin up so she could catch her eyes. "Besides, I made my decision." She smiled when Buffy raised an eyebrow in question, hope playing in her gorgeous hazel eyes. "Let's give it another shot."

Buffy let out an excited cry and swept her girlfriend into a huge hug, swinging her around in a full circle before setting her back down. "Really?"

Cordelia nodded and leaned in for a soft kiss, a grin playing on her lips. "Really. I love you, Summers. I only want you. I want us to be an us again."

Buffy absolutely beamed and kissed the brunette again, a huge grin on her face. "I love you too, sweetie."

The couple shared a grin and walked into English hand in hand and spent the rest of the day in absolute bliss together and happier than ever.

When Buffy entered the Bronze, she immediately saw her friends sitting at their usual booth and she smiled. A moment later, she spotted Cordelia sitting at the bar talking to one of the female bartenders. She gave a wave to her friends and approached Cordelia.

"Hey," she said with a grin as she took a seat next to her girlfriend.

Cordelia gave her a small smile and turned back to the bartender, who was showing her some sort of bar trick. "Hey."

The girl continued explaining the trick as she shot Buffy a confused glance. Buffy smiled and gave her a small wave. "Hi, I'm Buffy."

The brunette behind the bar gave her a smile and a nod and grinned at Cordelia. Cordy grinned back and gave a nod in her direction. "This is Cameron, my new favorite bartender."

Cameron grinned and shook her head. "That's only because I'm serving you underage and for free, if a fatty slob was back here, you'd like him too."

Cordelia gave her a grin and shrugged. "Can't blame a girl for liking free drinks from sweet girls."

Buffy forced a smile to Cameron. "Can you give us a minute please?"

Cameron smiled and moved to the other end of the bar. Buffy turned to Cordelia who was sipping her drink and trying to imitate the bar trick she'd been shown. "What's going on here?"

Cordelia kept her eyes on the glass in front of her as she shrugged. "I'm just meeting some new people and having fun."

Buffy nodded and forced another smile. "Okay, well I'll leave you alone with your new friend. If you wanna come by later, I'm gonna patrol for a while."

Cordelia barely glanced at her and nodded. "Okay."

Buffy shot her a confused look and kissed her on the cheek. "See ya later?"

Cordelia nodded again. "Sure." She leaned up further on the bar and yelled down the bar. "Cam, get your ass back down here and show me how to do that thing again."

Buffy frowned and left the club. She walked through town slowly and tried to figure out her girlfriend's odd behavior.

Three hours later, Buffy stood up from her bed and blew out the masses of candles around her room. She frowned thinking about how Cordelia was supposed to come by and finally slipped between her sheets. Her sleep was disturbed and unfit as she tossed and turned all night long. The next day Buffy was still trying to figure out why Cordelia didn't stop by. She headed downstairs and had breakfast before she called her girlfriend to ask what had happened. Cordelia was short on the phone saying she crashed early and slept through the night. Buffy accepted the reason with a heavy heart as she continued to ponder the hot and cold behavior of her girlfriend.

The gang was gathered in the library before school as usual, the kids chatting rather aimlessly as Giles and Jenny had a private meeting in his office. Willow wandered in looking kind of down and the rest of the gang noticed immediately.

"Hey, Wills, why so glum?" Buffy asked as she grabbed another doughnut.

The redhead shrugged and flopped down in a chair. "Nothing," she replied.

Cordelia gave her a pointed look. "Will, first of all, you are a horrible liar, and second of all, we can see it all over your face."

Willow stuck her tongue out at the brunette and sighed, a pout working its way onto her face. "I'm just so jealous."

Faith and Buffy exchanged a glance. "Of?" Faith asked, wondering if she'd missed something.

"Tara," she replied with a frown. "She gets to go to school with other people who actually want to be in school and go talk to professors and other college-y stuff."

Buffy tried desperately to suppress a giggle, but failed miserably, earning herself a mock glare from the redhead. "Sorry, I just thought it was something serious. You shouldn't scare us like that, Will."

Willow rolled her eyes as a rueful grin spread on her lips. "I know. But I want to be all with the college campus and professors and stuff…she's so lucky."

Xander grinned and shared a proud smile with Buffy. "Our little girl is growing up so fast."

Willow swatted his arm playfully. "Very funny." She suddenly dropped her jealous act and grabbed a doughnut from the box on the table. "So is anything new on the scary front?"

Faith shrugged and propped her feet up on the table. "Not that any of us know. Patrol has been slow, but G and JC have been in some private meeting since before we got here, so something must be up."

"So, X, are you nervous about Friday's game?" Faith asked as she grabbed another doughnut.

He shot her a mock glare and sighed dramatically. "Well, I wasn't until you mentioned it again." He looked longingly at his doughnut and gave it a disapproving face; he'd just lost his appetite.

Cordelia looked around the table and noticed she appeared to be the only confused person at the table so she spoke up. "What's going on at the game?"

Her friends gave her funny looks. "There's a few scouts from UCS coming to take a look at me…I thought you knew."

She frowned and glanced at Buffy, wondering why she didn't know. Buffy shrugged and held her hands up in front of her. "I thought you knew."

Cordelia shook her head and turned to Xander with a smile. "Well that's really great, Xander. Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine."

Xander grinned in thanks and leaned his chair back and clasped his hands behind his head. "Well, all I can say is cheers to Wills for getting all of us study hall first period this year. It gives me an extra hour to sleep," he looked up as Giles and Jenny emerged from the office and both gave him disapproving looks. "Research, I meant research. Bad sleep," he chided himself in a playful voice. When nobody laughed he rolled his eyes and shook his head. He glanced at Faith, who mouthed, "Bad sleep?" and he smiled ruefully and shrugged. The slayer grinned and shook her head before focusing on Giles and Jenny.

"Is everything okay?" Amy asked once the two adults sat down at the table.

Giles looked up and nodded. "Yes, everything is fine. We just had to discuss something to do with the Council. Nothing to concern any of you."

The kids took that as their cue to continue mindless chatter and Giles exchanged a wry smile with Jenny that none of them noticed. It seemed that all was getting back to normal.

"So, why are we doing this again?" Faith asked Buffy.

Buffy sighed and waved her hand around in the air. "Because Cor said she has a paper to write tonight and her car is acting up, so we're dropping it off for her."

Faith nodded and shrugged, dismissing it as Buffy being sweet to her girlfriend. "So have you guys figured out all your shit yet?"

Buffy's brow furrowed and she shrugged. "I dunno. The other night she was hanging out with that new bartender, Cameron and being all flirty with her. I don't know. I feel like I'm still being punished."

Faith gave her a sympathetic smile and a friendly nudge as they pulled Cordelia's car up to the mechanic. After they described the problem to the mechanics and dropped the car off, they decided to hit the Bronze for a while.

When the two entered the club, they both immediately saw Cordelia sitting at the bar with Cameron laughing and drinking.

Buffy shook her head as she approached her girlfriend, an angry frown on her face. She approached Cordelia and slammed her keys on the bar, turning to leave without another word.

Cordelia shot a glance at Cameron and ran off after the slayer. She caught Buffy's arm and the slayer pulled away as she turned. "What are you doing, Cordelia?"

Cordelia shrugged. "Nothing."

Buffy gave her a sarcastic smile and turned around, Cordelia trailing after her. "I thought you had a paper to write."

Cordelia rolled her eyes. "I'm taking a break."

Buffy stopped abruptly and spun around. "What are you doing with her? What the hell is going on?"

Cordelia shrugged again and sighed. "She's just a friend."

Buffy gave her a wry smile and shook her head. "Why don't you just fuck her, then we'll be even."

With that, the slayer turned and left her girlfriend standing in the doorway of the club shaking her head before she headed back inside. Faith followed Buffy home and as soon as they got there, Buffy locked herself in her room making it clear she didn't want to talk.

Willow and Amy stopped by later that night when the slayers didn't come back to the Bronze to see what was going on. Faith let them in and they all gathered in the living room.

"Sorry we didn't stay," she told them with a sigh. "B and the queen still have a few issues apparently."

"Is everything okay?" Amy asked as she took a seat on the couch.

Willow frowned. "Yeah, I thought they were back together and everything was fine."

Faith shrugged and ran a hand through her hair. "She feels like C's still punishing her for everything with Kate."

Amy thought for a moment and glanced over at the slayer. "Are you sure she isn't just punishing herself?"

"Maybe I am," Buffy told them suddenly from the doorway.

The three girls looked up sheepishly and rather guiltily. "Sorry, Buffy. We're just concerned," Amy told her with a sad smile.

Buffy nodded and flopped down on the couch, resting her head on Willow's shoulder. "What should I do?"

Willow grasped her hand in both of hers. "You need to stop punishing yourself, Buffy." She tilted the slayer's chin up to meet her eyes. "You made a mistake and you paid for it. You may always pay for it a little bit because things might never go back to normal, but they will get better again if both of you will quit punishing you for what you did."

"I can't just pretend that nothing happened," Buffy told them with a frown.

"Nobody's asking you to, Buffy," Willow told her with a shake of her head. "We're just saying that you need to move on. You both need to move forward or you're gonna stay in the past and never move forward with your relationship."

Buffy pondered this quietly for a while and her friends stayed close to offer her support. The blonde slayer thanked her friends and retreated to her room to think and the other three girls sat around watching mindless TV for the remainder of the night.

When Buffy opened the front door the next morning and Cordelia was standing on the porch. The look on her face indicated that she was furious, but Buffy saw the sadness in her eyes and it broke her heart because she knew she was the one responsible for it.

"She's just a friend," Cordelia said quietly, her voice wavering slightly. "Nothing happened. I thought about it but nothing happened with her."

Buffy's gaze fell to the ground for a moment before she looked up at her girlfriend with ashamed eyes. She sighed and nodded. "You wanna come in?"

Cordelia shook her head. "I'm too pissed to come in."

Buffy nodded sadly and rubbed her eyes tiredly. "Cor, I'm sorry about last night, but you have to forgive me for Kate…for good and for real. I know you may never be able to forget what happened, but you have to forgive me." She looked up at Cordelia with pleading eyes and her chin quivered. "You have to let it go. You have to stop punishing me." Her tears finally spilled down her cheeks and she dropped her head to her hands. "You have to."

Cordelia sighed heavily as her own tears began to fall and she finally pulled Buffy into a tight hug and held her close as the two of them cried together.

Once her tears subsided, Buffy glanced up at her girlfriend, love sparkling in her eyes. "I love you so much, Cor."

"I love you too, baby," she replied softly.

Buffy shook her head and wiped an errant tear from her cheek. "No, you have no idea how much I need you and love you and care about you. Every breath I take, it's for you. Every beat of my heart is for you." The slayer paused a moment. "Every minute we were apart, it was agony. I had to remind myself to breathe. I missed you so much and I don't think I'll survive us being apart like that again."

Cordelia wiped away a few of her own tears and kissed the slayer lightly. "We never will be." She paused for a moment and pulled a small velvet box from her purse. She handed it to her girlfriend, who looked up at her curiously. "Open it," she urged gently.

Buffy smiled and opened the lid of the box. Inside was a solid platinum band with a cluster of diamonds arranged in a small cross. The slayer gasped when she saw the ring, knowing it must have cost her girlfriend a small fortune. "Oh my God, Cor. It's beautiful."

Cordelia smiled and plucked the ring from the box in her girlfriend's hand and slipped it on Buffy's ring finger of her left hand. "It's a promise ring." She glanced up shyly and smiled. "I'm promising you my heart...forever."

Buffy smiled lovingly at her girlfriend and wrapped her into a huge hug. The pair stood in the foyer hugging madly for a stretch of minutes, almost refusing to let go. Faith arrived at the house to find the front door wide open and the couple still hugging in the front hall. She grinned and shook her head, hugging them both and kissing each of them on the cheek as she passed by the pair. "Thank God," she whispered as she headed into the kitchen.

"I heard that, Cooper!" Cordelia called out before kissing Buffy again. The pair joined Faith in the kitchen and sat down as Faith made some coffee. The brunette slayer shot them both a knowing smirk, which they both tried to ignore, and she hopped up on the counter top.

"So what do you guys think about Riley taking off for that military thing?" Faith asked the pair a minute later, letting them off the hook for now.

Buffy shrugged, grasping Cordelia's hand in hers. "He seems pretty excited about it. I just wish he didn't have to move to Ohio to do it."

"What the hell kind of military operation would be in Ohio anyways?" Cordelia wondered idly before kissing a few of Buffy's fingertips.

Faith shook her head, smiling internally at her friends' happiness. "We need to throw him a wicked party before he leaves, that's for sure."

Cordelia nodded excitedly. "Oooh, yay! Party planning is always fun. Three weeks is just enough time to plan a killer party."

The two slayers shared a grin listening to Cordelia rattle off a million different ideas for Riley's going away party, both knowing it was gonna be one hell of a send off if she was in charge.

When the slayers arrived home from school and training one day they found both of their parents waiting for them in the kitchen. They exchanged an 'uh-oh' look and gazed at the two adults carefully for a moment. Joyce picked up on the worried vibe and gave them both a warm smile. "Hi girls, how was school?"

Faith shrugged and took a seat at the island. "It was okay…what's going on?"

Brad placed his coffee mug on the counter and pointed at the island. "Buffy, why don't you sit down as well, your mom and me want to talk to both of you about something."

The blonde slayer nodded and took a seat opposite Faith and sat for a moment running a mental list of things she and Faith had done over the last few days. She wanted to be sure they weren't in trouble before letting her guard down completely. "So, what's up?"

The adults shared a look and a hopeful smile before looking back at their girls. "Well, Buffy, Brad and I have been talking and we have an idea to run by both of you." When the slayers nodded, Joyce exchanged one final glance with her husband and smiled. "We were thinking since we're married now…well, we want to adopt you girls."

"Buffy, I was hoping to adopt you and your mom was hoping to adopt Faith," Brad told her with a hopeful grin. "We know that we're a family, we just want to make it legal."

The two slayers shared a look and when neither of them said anything, Joyce jumped in. "Faith, I don't want you to think that I'm trying to replace your mother."

"And I'm not trying to replace your dad, Buffy," Brad jumped in quickly. "We just want to make the family official."

"You two have known each other for three years now and we know you already act more like sisters than anything else, this will just make it legal," Joyce told them.

Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy saw Faith drop her head down as a tear escaped her eye. Her initial reaction was fear thinking that she absolutely hated the idea, but when Faith stood up and wrapped her mom in a hug, she grinned widely.

"Does this mean now I can call you mom?" Faith asked softly.

Joyce smiled and held Faith tightly. "Honey, you could have called me mom from day one and it would have been completely fine."

Brad and Buffy shared a glance as they watched the two of them. Buffy felt her heart swell at the thought of having a real father who was around all the time and wasn't an alcoholic bastard and she got up and allowed Brad to envelop her in a huge hug. "I'm hoping that's a yes from you too, Buffy." All the slayer could do was nod against his chest as a few tears slipped from her cheeks. Brad and Joyce exchanged elated smiles over their daughters' heads and they knew that their family was complete.

Buffy's tongue peeked out the side of her mouth in concentration as she focused all of her energy on the plastic cup in front of her on the table. Cordelia suddenly snorted and she burst out laughing from across the table and her laughter caused Faith, Amy and Willow to crack up as well. Picking up a cup didn't seem that difficult under normal circumstances, but with boxing gloves on her hands and too much alcohol in her system, it was becoming very difficult for the blonde slayer.

"B, just take the damn gloves off already," Faith told her with a grin, still trying to stifle her laughter.

Buffy shook her head and quirked an eyebrow. "Nope, I'm gonna get this sooner or later."

"By the time you actually manage to pick your drink up, baby, it's gonna be all over the floor," Cordelia told her with a smile.

Buffy grinned suddenly as she managed to get a hold of her cup. Just as she brought it to her lips, it slipped, causing her entire drink to spill on her lap and then the ground. The rest of the girls burst out laughing again and Buffy began giggling drunkenly as well. She slid the gloves from her hands and threw them at Faith, hitting her in the face. "Your turn, Cooper."

Faith grinned and slipped the gloves on and took on the task of picking her drink up. Willow and Amy began teasing her as she spilled her drink on her lap as well. Buffy stood up from her chair, her eyes bright and a wide smile on her face. She plunked drunkenly down on Cordelia's lap and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's neck.

"Hey," she breathed out sexily.

Cordelia raised her eyebrows and grinned. "Heya, gorgeous."

Buffy began playing with Cordelia's bracelet and kissed her lightly. "How are you doing?" she asked in a playful voice.

"Fabulous...I'm assuming you're doing okay?" she asked with a grin, trying not to laugh at her girlfriend's cuteness.

Buffy glanced around the table quickly and brought a hand to her mouth, as if she was telling Cordelia a secret. "I'm drunk," she stated way too loud to be a secret.

Cordelia grinned wider and kissed her. "I can see that. Have you been drinking water at all?"

Buffy tapped her chin with a finger and she shook her head as her tongue peeked out between her teeth in a wide smile. "I forgot."

Cordelia gave her a pointed look and reached across her lap to grab her glass of water. She handed it to the slayer. "Here, drink this before you drink any more, okay?"

Buffy nodded and smiled, kissing the brunette gently. She took a long drink of water and gave her girlfriend an expectant look when she finished. "Good?"

Cordelia smiled fondly and wiped a few drops of water from the slayer's chin. "Good enough for me."

The two of them suddenly burst out laughing when Faith's second drink when tumbling into her lap and the brunette slayer threw the boxing gloves into the pool. She stood up drunkenly from her seat and approached the pair, a devious look on her face.

Buffy recognized the look immediately and she bolted from Cordelia's lap and began running away. Faith chased her blonde counterpart around the perimeter of the pool until she slipped and fell to her knees. Buffy turned around and as she looked back to Faith she tripped over the garden hose and fell on her ass. Faith began laughing hysterically along with the rest of the girls. Faith stood up and approached the other fallen slayer and held a hand out to her. Buffy grabbed her hand and began tugging her closer to the pool, trying to throw her in.

In the end, their struggle caused both of them to fall into the pool and caused an all out slayer wrestling match in the shallow end. The soaked slayers emerged from the pool twenty minutes later and each took a giant towel offered to them from Cordelia.

An hour later, Buffy and Cordelia were snuggled in Cordelia's bed both dressed in tank tops and panties to allow plenty of skin to linger on skin. The pair hadn't shared her bed since the night before Cordelia had disappeared. Every time before this had been Buffy's bed and the blonde slayer was kind of nervous. Buffy thought back to the seemingly endless nights the pair had spent in that room and she had to remind herself to breathe as some of the more painful memories flooded her brain. She remembered lifting her girlfriend from the shower after she'd scrubbed her skin raw. She remembered Cordelia telling her about the rape and discovering she was pregnant. She was drawn out of her silent trip down scary memory lane by a gentle finger poking her in the ribs. She glanced at her girlfriend snuggled deep in her arms and raised an eyebrow in question.

"You okay?" she asked softly.

Buffy nodded and kissed her softly. "I just don't want you to get freaked."

Cordelia smiled lovingly and kissed the slayer lightly. "Baby, we've slept together since the thing and it's been fine."

Buffy nodded and dropped her gaze. "I know. It's just that we spent so much time in here with you here and me in the chair and it feels kinda weird being in your bed with you. I just don't want to crowd you."

Cordelia shook her head and tilted the slayer's head up to meet her eyes. "Baby, we started fresh remember? I know this may take some time and getting used to, but we're gonna be fine, I promise."

Buffy nodded again and smiled, kissing her girlfriend lightly. "I know. But promise you'll say something if you get wigged, okay?"

Cordelia nodded and smiled. "Promise. I love you, Summers."

"Love you too, sweetie," she replied tenderly.

The next morning, Cordelia awoke curled up in bed with Buffy still sound asleep next to her. The early morning rays bathed the slayer in soft light and Cordelia literally felt her heart skip a beat as she gazed at her girlfriend lovingly. She turned slightly to the side so she could watch Buffy sleep and as she did, she thought about everything they'd been through together. Living life with a slayer for a girlfriend was no easy task. The worrying and fear that came with the knowledge that all things evil and scary were out to kill the person you love with all your heart took it's toll on her, but she wouldn't trade that for the world. The upside to having Buffy in her life outweighed the downside ten-fold and she knew she was extremely lucky to have the slayer in her life.

Cordelia smiled softly as Buffy mumbled something in her sleep and she reached out to brush a few errant honey blonde locks behind her ear. She allowed her palm to rest on the slayer's cheek and gently caressed her face with the pad of her thumb. Buffy stirred under the tender touch and a moment later her eyes fluttered open slowly.

"Hey you," Cordelia whispered softly, a loving smile playing on her lips.

Buffy gave her a sweet, sleepy smile in return and kissed Cordelia's palm still lingering on her face. "Hi."

The slayer snuggled in closer to her girlfriend, who wrapped her arms around her and trailed lazy patterns on her back with her fingers. Buffy sighed contently and she felt a slight shiver pass through her when Cordelia's fingers sought out the skin on her lower back under her tank top. She leaned in and placed a tender kiss to Cordelia's neck and snuck her hand under the hem of the brunette's tank top, resting it flat against her girlfriend's hip.

Cordelia's face broke out into a sly grin and she rolled herself on top of the slayer lazily and captured her lips in a slow burning kiss. She moved her way from Buffy's lips to her neck where she nipped and sucked on the sensitive skin. A moment later she rested her weight on Buffy's hips and sat up, loving the flush in her girlfriend's cheeks. Buffy placed her hands on Cordelia's thighs and gazed up at her. She was surprised to see the lust in the brunette's eyes along with the love and tenderness usually found there and she immediately felt the burn of arousal swirl in her belly.

Cordelia suddenly shifted her weight lower on Buffy's body and kissed the skin below her navel lightly as her fingers found the hem of her girlfriend's top. Slowly she pushed the material up the slayer's body and trailed kisses in its wake. Before the top could be completely removed she felt Buffy's hands grasp her wrists lightly and when she looked up, the slayer was gazing at her carefully.

"Cor?" she asked softly, her silent question apparent in her eyes.

She shook her head and moved back up Buffy's body so she could look her in the eye. "You love me right?" At Buffy's confused look, Cordelia raised an eyebrow, silently asking her to answer.

"You know I love you," Buffy replied tenderly as she dropped a kiss on Cordy's lips.

Cordelia smiled lovingly and resumed her position further down her girlfriend's body, dropping a few random kisses on Buffy's tummy. "You'd never hurt me, right?"

"Never," she replied without a second's thought.

Cordelia smiled and began pulling at Buffy's tank top again. "Buffy, I love you and I want to show you how much I love you. I want to reconnect with you on every level. And this," she murmured as she removed the slayer's clothes, "is the last level we need to reconnect on." She sat up and removed her clothes as well, replacing herself on her girlfriend's hips.

Buffy locked eyes with the brunette on top of her and couldn't help but allow some of her fear show on her face. "Are you sure?"

Cordelia nodded and slowly slid her body along Buffy's, coming face to face with her as they both moaned in unison at the contact. "I've never been so sure of anything before."

Buffy gave her a sweet smile and kissed her lightly. "Just remember," she started before she was cut off by a kiss.

"I know," Cordelia replied when she released the slayer's lips. "But I'm ready. Don't worry, baby, I know you'd never hurt me."

Buffy nodded and the two shared a loving smile. Cordelia shifted and both let out another quiet moan as the contact spurred their arousal again. Buffy raised a thigh gently between Cordelia's and they both began rocking together slowly. Their foreheads pressed together and their eyes locked as they began to get lost in the sensations of making love again. It was slow and passionate and burning, both girls savoring every moment of pure ecstasy they shared, and in the moment of sheer pleasure as they reached their orgasms together, they both knew nothing could ever break them apart again.

When Cordelia arrived at her locker one morning before school she found a single daisy slipped into the lock on the door. She smiled and plucked the flower from its resting place and smelled it briefly before she spun in her combination and popped the lock off. When she opened the door a piece of paper dropped from inside and when she bent over to pick it up a smile graced her lips when she recognized the handwriting on the outside. Buffy had left her a sweet little note to say hi and remind her of their love. She smiled on the outside, but on the inside she was torn. She knew that today was the one-year anniversary of the day she'd disappeared and it twisted her heart to remember those days spent in the hell dimension. With a deep breath she pushed those thoughts from her mind and closed her locker. She put her happy face on and headed for the library with her daisy in hand and a heavy heart. She peered through the window in the door and watched as Faith and Buffy took turns throwing gummi worms in each other's mouths. Xander and Willow were watching and seemed to be scoring the slayers' efforts. She smiled as she watched her friends, wishing she could feel as carefree as they looked. She pushed her fears and her scary thoughts out of her head and entered the library. Her friends looked up and all smiled and waved hello as she entered. She smiled her best brave, perfect smile so they wouldn't know anything was bothering her and took a seat at the table next to her girlfriend, who had been watching her carefully since she entered the room. Buffy had taken one look at Cordelia and knew instantly that the weight of the day had already settled itself on her slender shoulders, but she kept quiet knowing Cordelia would much rather have any conversations about it in private. She gave her girlfriend a reassuring smile and gripped her hand gently before going back to her gummi game with Faith and their friends. Giles and Jenny gave the gang a rundown not too long after and they all scattered to head to their first classes of the day.

After school, Cordelia wandered to the library slowly, knowing she would probably be the first person there. She didn't want to sit alone with Giles and Jenny waiting for everyone else. The two adults seemed to have impeccable memories and knew exactly what today signified and they had both been giving her sympathetic looks all throughout the lunch period they'd all spent in the library researching. She dawdled along slowly and stopped at her locker to drop off her books, silently thanking all her teachers for not giving out any homework for the weekend and slowly continued on her way. She reached the library sooner than she'd hoped, and was relieved when she saw that Faith was already there getting ready for her training session with Buffy. She felt a strange sense of relief wash over her and once she'd entered the library she approached Faith and hugged her tightly. Faith was confused by the other girl's affection, but she returned the hug, having sensed that something was on her friend's mind all day and hoping she'd be privy to the information at some point. Buffy entered the library and saw the tail end of the hug and Faith caught her eye and shrugged, having no clue why the ex-cheerleader would hug her out of nowhere. Buffy smiled and shook her head, dismissing the subject until the time was more appropriate and she approached the pair, ready to spar with the other slayer.

Cordelia watched the two slayers go through the motions of sparring and stretching and playing and everything else the two of them did. She could tell that Buffy was distracted as she kept ending up on her back with Faith grinning down at her and she felt bad, knowing her girlfriend was getting beat because of her. The slayers kept the spar session light since it was Friday night and Faith headed home, knowing Buffy was getting a ride home with Cordelia that day. Faith waved goodbye to the two girls left in the library and Buffy wasted no time getting to the heart of the matter.

"Cor, I know what today is so you don't have to be brave around me," Buffy told her with a small frown.

Cordelia dropped her head in shame. "I just don't want to think about it, but the more I try not to the more I actually do."

"Baby, it's completely understandable that you would think about what happened. It was a year ago today that I thought I'd lost you forever and I was lucky enough to get you back. Try to focus on that," Buffy told her softly.

She nodded her head slowly, trying to bite back the tears that had been threatening all day and they finally spilled once she felt Buffy's arms wrap around her tightly, enclosing her in a warm, safe cocoon. She cried for the pain she felt, she cried for the pain Buffy felt, she cried for the life she'd once led and the pain and suffering she'd put everyone through with this whole ordeal.

Buffy held her girlfriend tightly and rubbed small circles into the small of her back with her hand as she calmed her tears. Cordelia tried to breathe deeply, but all she was left with was hiccups and it took her a few minutes before she had calmed down enough to breathe properly. They both looked up suddenly as the library doors swung open and Jenny and Giles walked through the door in the middle of a heated debate. The adults stopped short when they saw the two girls with red, puffy eyes, and they both gave the girls sympathetic smiles and moved to the offices to give them some privacy.

Amy watched the blonde slayer and her girlfriend closely later that night as she sat in a booth at the Bronze with the gang. The two she was watching were currently on the dance floor dancing to a slow song. Amy had noticed all day that the pair seemed to be almost grieving something and she was really curious to know what was going on.

She leaned over to Xander and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Hey honey? Can you grab me a soda please?" she asked him sweetly.

Xander grinned and kissed her back. "Sure. Be right back."

She smiled as she watched him go and took the opportunity to lean over closer to Faith. "Hey, Faith, what's up with Buffy and Cordy today? Why do they both seem so sad?"

The slayer shrugged, looking as puzzled as she felt. "Dunno, Ames. B was wicked distracted when we were training this afternoon and C just sat there like she was about to cry the whole time."

"I know," Amy replied. "I feel like we're missing something. Did you see the way Giles and Jenny were looking at them all through lunch? I don't get it."

"Me either," the slayer told her.

"Cordy disappeared a year ago today," Willow told them quietly with a frown.

Faith and Amy exchanged a look and the girls were momentarily brought back to that awful afternoon that changed them all forever. Xander returned and watched the girls for a moment, wondering what had them all so down in the few minutes he'd been at the bar. He handed the soda to his girlfriend and took his seat next to her and they all looked up a moment later when Buffy and Cordelia returned to the table to say good night. They all exchanged hugs and kisses on the cheek before the two left their friends and went home.

"Okay, what am I missing?" Xander asked the remaining girls at the table.

The girls all exchanged a look and Amy took the opportunity to whisper in his ear to fill him in. A moment later, he frowned and ran a hand through his hair. "Oh yeah." He shook his head. "Are they okay?"

Tara nodded. "They will be in time." She paused a moment to collect her thoughts. "Cordelia's aura has been so much calmer lately since she and Buffy got back together and they sorted through their problems. I sensed that something had been building for the last few days and Willow reminded me of it last night. They'll be fine."

Xander shot Amy an annoyed glance. "You didn't think to maybe remind me? What if I had said something in front of them?"

"I didn't remember either. Faith and I were trying to figure out what was going on while you got me a drink a few minutes ago," Amy shot back, almost as annoyed.

Xander slumped over slightly. "Oh." He kissed his girlfriend apologetically. "Sorry."

Amy rolled her eyes. "You better be," she told him with a grin.

They all laughed and for a moment, the darkness of the day was forgotten. A few minutes later, the gang hugged and kissed goodbyes and all headed home in their own directions.

Cordelia sat bolt upright in bed later that night, a strangled scream caught in her throat. She blinked rapidly and wiped her hair from her eyes as she finally took in her surroundings. She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed in relief. She was in Buffy's bed safe and sound, and she'd just had another horrible nightmare bringing her back to those nights she spent locked up in the alternate dimension. She looked down at the sleeping form next to her and a smile immediately formed on her lips. She was grateful she hadn't woken her girlfriend up again with nightmares. That had happened far too often over the last year for Cordelia's taste.

She took a few calming breaths and leaned back, curling up next to the soft, warm body beside her in bed, but the moment she closed her eyes, the images of those monsters raping her came flooding back. She sighed in frustration and moved the blankets from her body. After dropping a kiss on Buffy's forehead, Cordelia slid from the bed and crept downstairs. She grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and pulled it tightly around her frame. She ended up on the back porch, curled in a chair breathing in the cool, crisp fall air.

"Cor?" Buffy mumbled as she rolled over in bed a little while later. She cracked an eye open when she rolled over into the cold spot on the bed where Cordelia should have been. She sat up immediately and had to force herself to calm down. Ever since her girlfriend had disappeared, Buffy got nervous if she couldn't find Cordelia. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she got up and went searching for her girlfriend. Her search ended in the kitchen when she caught sight of Cordelia outside sitting in one of the chairs on the porch and her heart ached for her girlfriend, knowing why she was out there.

Cordelia looked up as the door opened behind her and she gave Buffy a sad smile. Buffy had a small frown on her face as she shut the door behind her and moved to the footrest of the chair Cordelia was occupying. Buffy placed her hands on Cordelia's curled up legs as she sat down. She gazed at the brunette and noticed that she'd been crying.

"You okay?" she asked softly.

Cordelia gave her a sad smile and nodded. "It was just a nightmare. Did I wake you up?"

Buffy shook her head and grasped both her girlfriend's hands in hers. "Was it the same one?"

Cordelia nodded and sniffled. "Yeah," she whispered, her voice cracking slightly.

Buffy nodded and lowered her head to the soft hands in hers. She rested her forehead against Cordelia's hand and sighed heavily. She kissed her girlfriend's palm lightly and lifted her head to meet the sad chestnut eyes watching her carefully. "Wanna try to sleep it off, or do you want to stay up?"

Cordelia smiled gratefully and leaned in to kiss Buffy lightly. "Let's go back to bed, it'll be fine."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "You sure?" she asked tenderly.

Cordelia nodded and stood up, pulling the slayer to her feet as well. They climbed the steps quietly and both slid back into bed, with Buffy holding Cordelia close to her. The brunette leaned her head against Buffy's chest and listened to the sound of her heart beating.

Buffy kissed her forehead gently. "You know you're my heart."

Cordelia smiled and leaned her head up for a kiss. "My soul."

"My everything," Buffy whispered softly.

"Love you, Summers."

"Love you too, Cor."

Cordelia snuggled deeper into the slayer's embrace and absorbed the absolute serenity of her girlfriend's arms. She was finally able to fall asleep and dreamed the sweet dreams of a normal teenage girl in love.

"Hey, do you guys wanna try something a little different Saturday night?" Faith asked her friends at lunch one day.

"Like what?" Cordelia asked as she looked up from her homework.

Faith shrugged. "Me and Ace got this flyer on campus for a rave in L.A. and I thought it might be worth checking out."

"Don't they do a lot of drugs at raves?" Willow asked, a small frown on her face.

"Some people take ecstasy, but not everyone is on something," Faith explained with a shrug as she stuffed a brownie in her mouth.

Buffy and Cordelia shared a grin and a shrug. "Sure, we're in," Buffy told her.

"You guys should all come, I hear raves are so much fun. Everyone is really cool and mellow and the music is supposed to be incredible," Faith told her friends around her mouthful of brownie.

"Ames, what do ya think?" Xander asked her.

Amy shrugged and nodded. "Sure, if you're up for it, I am."

"Wilma, you and Glenda really should think about coming along, apparently it's a mixed crowd and it's gonna be a lot of fun," Faith coaxed with a hopeful look on her face. She wanted everyone there.

Willow sat for a moment and she finally shrugged and looked up at Faith with a grin. "I'll see if Tara wants to come, I don't really wanna go without her."

Faith nodded and grinned widely. "Okay, good. Finny already agreed, so I'll let Ace know and we can all go together."

The group began talking about the rave and a few other random things when Cordelia pulled Buffy from the table. Buffy gave her a confused glance. "What's up, baby?"

Cordelia shook her head and pulled her into a more secluded spot of the quad. "Okay, I never would have suggested this if Coop hadn't started talking about the rave, but I was wondering something."

Buffy nodded and threaded their fingers together. "Okay, what's up?"

Cordelia chewed on her lip for a moment and she took a deep breath. "I heard that ecstasy is really incredible. I heard it's so much fun, and apparently sex is supposed to be unbelievable when you're on it. I was thinking maybe we could try it out."

Buffy stared at her wide-eyed for a moment before a small smile played over her lips. "You want us to try ecstasy?" she asked, a bit shocked.

Cordelia shrugged. "I dunno. I just thought we could try it together. We're going to a rave with our best friends and they'll take care of us. I just thought it might be something we could do together."

Buffy shrugged and smiled. "I don't have any objections, so if it's something you wanna try, I'll do it too."

Cordelia grinned and kissed her. "I'm telling you, Summers, it's supposed to be absolutely mind-blowing."

"The only problem I guess would be getting it," Buffy told her quietly.

Cordelia shook her head and began walking back to the table. "Don't worry about that, Coop's told me stories about some of the people she's met at UCS. She should be able to get it for us."

Buffy nodded, slightly shocked Faith knew people that could get her drugs. She watched from the table as Cordelia pulled Faith away to talk to her privately.

"What's up, Queeney?"

Cordelia leaned her head in closer. "Do you think you can get me and Summers ecstasy?" she asked quietly.

Faith pulled back with a shocked expression on her face. "Seriously?" she asked. Cordelia nodded and the slayer grinned. "Yeah, me and Ace were gonna roll too. I can get two extra pills, no problem."

Cordelia smiled and shook her head. "Angel's gonna try it?"

"Yup, once he heard about the rave he asked me if I wanted to try it. We thought it would be pretty cool to do together. I hear sex is incredible on it"

Cordelia nodded. "That's all I keep hearing about it. I can't wait."

Faith grinned and nudged her playfully as they headed back to the table. "I got the hook up, Queeney."

"Hey, Coop, what are we supposed to wear to this thing?" Xander asked once she sat back down.

Faith shrugged. "I think this is more of an upscale rave...as upscale as a rave can be anyways. It's not one of those scary, nasty ones, it's supposed to be really clean and safe. Just wear what you'd wear to go to a club, it should be fine. Nothing fancy."

Cordelia suddenly grinned from ear to ear. "I think us girls should get all decked out for this one."

The girls all grinned, even Faith, and began talking about what to wear. They were all excited, except Faith, about the event giving them something extra to shop for. Faith hated shopping.

"Quit moving, Coop, I'm gonna poke you in the eye if you don't," Cordelia told Faith as she finished applying the slayer's eyeliner.

"Baby, do you have that body glitter over there?" Buffy asked as she stood in front of Willow, who was perched on the bathroom counter. It was rave night and the girls were getting ready.

"Yup, here ya go," Cordelia said as she handed the roll-on glitter to her girl with a grin. "Summers, your hair looks so amazing."

Buffy grinned. "Thanks, baby," she replied as she rolled some glitter on her finger to apply around Willow's eyes and neck. The girls had spent hours braiding Buffy's hair into tiny braids for tonight. It looked pretty killer.

Tara finished applying her eye shadow and placed it on the counter looking up at the girls. "So, you three are really gonna try rolling tonight?" she asked with a tiny smile.

Buffy, Faith and Cordelia all shared a nervous smile and nodded. "Yup, I have so much nervous energy right now I may throw up," Cordelia told them with a slight grimace.

Buffy approached her and gave her a quick kiss. "Baby, we don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Cordelia shook her head with a warm smile. "It's not that, I want to, I'm just a little nervous."

"Remember, Cordy that I ran those tests on the pills you guys got and they're completely pure. They aren't laced with anything, so you guys will be fine," Willow told her with a smile.

Cordelia returned the smile and nodded, moving back to the mirror to finish her make up. "I know. I really appreciate you doing that for us, Will."

"Besides, we're all gonna stick together, so you guys will be taken care of all night," Amy told the three girls as she fixed her hair. "And we know all the tricks. Running your fingers through their hair, rubbing their arms and hands, scratching their back. I think we're almost overeducated on this topic." Amy was referring to all the research they had done on the internet to make this an amazing experience for everyone that was participating.

"And if anyone freaks, we can always leave," Tara told them gently.

Faith, Buffy and Cordelia all shot their friends grateful smiles as they all finished getting ready. They headed downstairs and Joyce and Brad took a million pictures of just the girls, just the guys, the couples and the entire group. Of course, they thought the group was headed to a club, not a rave, but sometimes parentals are on a need to know basis.

"Just remember, it may get a little wiggy at first, but we just need to ride it out, okay?" Faith asked her three rolling companions. The four of them were riding with Riley in his Explorer. Tara, Willow, Xander and Amy all rode together in Amy's Mustang.

Buffy, Cordelia and Angel all nodded and smiled nervous, excited smiles. "Let's just do it, we're almost there," Angel told his girlfriend from the front seat.

Faith nodded and glanced at the two girls in the back seat with her. "Ready?" she asked them.

They all nodded and popped the tiny purple pills into their mouths, chewing with sour faces.

"Coop, this tastes really weird," Cordelia told her.

Faith nodded and swallowed. "Yup, but smiley's are supposed to be pretty good. Just remember to drink a lot of fluids tonight, and we all just need to stay cool. My buddy told me that if you wig and want it so stop, you can pretty much make it stop, so we just need to relax."

"How long will it take to kick in, Fai?" Buffy asked with a grin.

Faith shrugged. "Half hour, tops."

"We're here, girls," Angel told them as they pulled into the parking lot.

The two groups piled from the car and formed a small circle next to Riley's car. "Okay, let's do the rules one more time. Don't drink from a water bottle that some random person gives you. Use the buddy system for bathrooms and drink lots of water and orange juice that you buy from the bar directly, okay? No communal drinks at all. And lastly, those of us on this might get a bit more friendly than normal, so nobody get upset if we happen to get a bit more touchy feely than usual, kay?"

The rest of the group nodded and they made their way into the huge warehouse. The people they passed were as diverse as you could get. Every race, every background, some with lots of money, some with no money, raver kids, gorgeous gay men, and beautiful lesbian couples were among the group they walked by. They knew it was going to be a fun night.

They could hear the thundering trace music from outside as they waited in line and they all got a bit excited. Cordelia held on to Buffy's hand tightly as they walked in the door and she stopped short once they reached the main room. Platforms lined all the walls and dancers shimmied on the brightly lit surfaces. Strobe lights and laser lights had the building illuminated with a million different colors. The center of the first floor was packed with people dancing to the music pumping through the enormous speakers on the walls. They headed further in and moved to the second floor to the balcony. Buffy pulled Faith, Angel and Cordelia aside once they reached the second floor and looked at all of them individually. "So our deal is still standing?" she asked them.

Angel and Faith shared a grin and nodded. "Yup, B, we're all in. Any kissing and groping that goes on between the four of us doesn't count tonight, we're all gonna get wild and have a good time."

Cordelia leaned in and kissed her girlfriend lightly. "We're just gonna have some fun, so no worries tonight and no regrets tomorrow."

They all shared a grin and moved back to their friends standing on the edge of the balcony watching everything around them with slightly wide eyes. It was a sight to be seen.

"Feeling anything yet, baby?" Buffy asked Cordelia a few minutes later as they watched everyone dance from above.

Cordelia shook her head and kissed her lightly. "Not yet, you?"

"Nope, not yet." Buffy leaned across Riley and grasped Faith's arm. Faith looked up and Buffy raised an eyebrow. "Anything?"

Faith shook her head. "You?"

Buffy shook her head. "Not yet."

"You guys wanna hang out up here until it hits you?" Xander asked the four rollers.

Cordelia nodded. "Yeah, I need some water, you guys want anything?"

After getting drink orders, Cordelia, Buffy and Riley hit the bar to grab nine bottles of water, one for everyone. They found a comfortable niche with some red, plush couches and settled in around a large white coffee table.

A few minutes later, Cordelia sat up abruptly. Her mouth fell open slightly as she closed her eyes and smiled. Buffy looked at her and placed a hand on her arm, trailing phantom touches on her skin. "Baby, did it hit you?" she asked with a smile at Cordelia's content expression.

Cordy nodded slowly and she suddenly opened her eyes and looked at Buffy's hand on her arm. "Do that again," she ordered softly.

Buffy smiled and trailed her fingers up and down Cordelia's arm. She grinned wider when her girlfriend shuddered and closed her eyes again. The blonde slayer looked up at her friends, who were watching carefully. "I think it kicked in."

Amy grinned and stood up, moving behind Cordelia. She began running her fingers through the brunette's hair. Cordelia's eyes rolled back in her head for a moment at the minor sensory overload and she smiled wider at the attention.

Angel was the next to sit up as his pill hit him. Faith and Willow began playing with his hair and rubbing his hands to get him more into it. Xander and Riley had Buffy's back when she hit the edge and Tara ended up playing with Faith's hair when the brunette slayer got her initial high.

"You wanna go dance, baby?" Buffy whispered in her girlfriend's ear a few minutes later.

The warm breath across her ear was enough to make Cordelia shudder again and she nodded as she stood up. Willow and Tara immediately moved to their sides to keep an eye on them and the four of them moved to the dance floor.

The slayer and her girlfriend became incredibly wrapped up in each other as they began to dance. The lights, the drugs and the warm crush of bodies surrounding them were enough to lull them into a complete euphoric state. They both had tops on that were practically backless and took every opportunity to graze their fingernails up and down each other's spines

Cordelia wrapped her arms around Buffy's waist and slid a few fingertips under the waistband of the slayer's hip hugger jeans. A minute later, Faith appeared behind Buffy and began dancing against her with Angel dancing behind her. Cordelia shared a sexy smile with Faith and grasped her hands at Buffy's sides. Faith held on to one of Cordelia's hands and let the other rest on Buffy's hip. Angel's hand was resting on Buffy's other hip as he nipped and sucked on Faith's neck tenderly. Faith slid her hand up to Buffy's stomach and pressed it flat against the blonde's taught abdomen. Buffy grasped Cordelia's hip with one hand and pulled her as close as humanly possible and reached behind her, looping her fingers through one of Faith's belt loops, pulling her close as well, keeping her hand on Faith's hip. Cordelia smiled and released Faith's hand and linked a finger through another one of the brunette's belt loops.

"Tell me this is not the most incredible thing in the world," Cordelia murmured into Buffy's ear a moment later, kissing her neck lightly as she did so.

Buffy rolled her eyes back languidly and licked her bottom lip before pulling her tongue between her teeth for a moment. "I love you," she mouthed silently.

Cordelia smiled and kissed the slayer lightly. "You too," she mouthed back.

Feeling Angel holding her tightly around her waist and having Buffy and Cordelia's hands on her hips, Faith was feeling absolutely amazing. Her eyes trained on Cordelia's lips as the random thought of kissing another girl coarsed through her brain. When she met Cordelia's eyes, the cheerleader was watching her carefully and she smiled. Faith returned the sexy smile with one of her own, and Cordelia leaned over to whisper something in Buffy's ear. Buffy nodded and slid out from between the two girls. She pulled Angel behind Cordelia and she moved behind Faith, leaving the two brunettes face to face.

Buffy slid one hand around Faith's waist to her stomach and she grasped Cordelia's hand with the other. Cordelia suddenly leaned in and kissed Faith. Angel, upon seeing their kiss deepen, began to kiss Cordelia's neck from behind as Buffy's hand moved slightly north under Faith's top, grazing the underside of her breast teasingly. When their kiss relinquished Cordelia nodded in Buffy's direction and Faith grinned, turning to the blonde behind her. Cordelia reached around Faith and grabbed the front of Buffy's jeans, pulling her closer to Faith and she moved her other hand to Faith's side, just above her hipbone. Her fingers sliding under the waist of her jeans slightly to find skin. She released Buffy's jeans as the slayers shared a kiss and she moved her hand behind her to grab Angel's ass and pull him closer. She grasped Buffy's hand in one of hers and pulled the blonde closer and cupped Angel's chin in her other hand, drawing the two closer to each other.

The pair shared a quick, but fairly hot kiss as Cordelia and Faith shared yet another. Willow and Tara were dancing nearby and both were watching the four with interest.

"Think they're gonna regret all of that tomorrow?" Tara asked the redhead with a grin.

Willow grinned and shook her head. "They have some agreement for tonight. They can kiss and stuff with no regrets. No sex with other people, but apparently kissing is phenomenal while you're rolling."

Tara gave her a sexy smile and leaned closer, her lips hovering teasingly next to Willow's. "Kissing can be pretty phenomenal when you're sober too." She leaned forward and shared a passionate kiss with her girlfriend as they swayed to the music.

After a few more hours of dancing, the group piled back into the cars and headed to Cordelia's house to have part two of their party. They all changed out of their rave clothes into comfy clothes and sat around the spacious living room. More trance music was playing through the CD player and they all sat around drinking and taking care of the rollers.

Amy was massaging one of Buffy's hands as the two sat cross-legged on the floor. "So, what does it feel like, Buffy?"

Buffy gave her a lazy grin and sighed. "It's amazing. I feel so relaxed and mellow right now."

Angel suddenly plunked down beside them and grinned. He grasped Buffy's other hand and began rubbing it lightly. "Hey, gimme some sugar, girls," he said with a cute grin.

Buffy grinned and leaned in for a small kiss. Amy grinned and shook her head, glancing at Xander with a wink and kissed Angel on the cheek lightly.

Angel gave her a playful grin and raised an eyebrow. "Almost, Amy."

Amy rolled her eyes and grinned again, shaking her head and leaned into peck him on the lips. He grinned and closed his eyes, bobbing his head lightly to the music. Cordelia sat down behind Buffy and leaned back against the couch, pulling the slayer back to sit between her outstretched legs. Buffy leaned back against her girlfriend and began trailing her fingertips up and down Cordelia's legs. Cordelia trailed a few kisses along Buffy's neck and traced her fingers up and down the slayer's arms.

Buffy held her arms out to Faith as she walked by. "Faith, come here a second."

Faith grinned lazily and plunked down beside them. "What's up, B?"

Buffy reached a hand out and ran it through the other slayer's dark, curly locks a few times and Faith immediately closed her eyes and leaned into the touch. "Gimme a kiss, Fai," she ordered lazily.

Faith opened her eyes and smiled, shaking her head. "You have a thing for kissing, huh?" she asked as she leaned forward and kissed Buffy lightly, then she turned slightly and kissed the Queen as well.

For Cordelia, watching her girlfriend share an innocent kiss with Faith seriously turned her on. Faith had been a pain in the ass to her back in the day, but she had always been hot, there were no two ways about that.

Buffy felt a similar twinge of arousal at the sight of Faith kissing Cordelia. The rave had been particularly fabulous, especially being sandwiched between the two hottest brunettes she had ever laid eyes on and having their hands all over her.

Buffy and Cordelia called it a night soon after everyone had been kissed by the pair. They both had a serious infatuation with kissing on their roll and they were ready to delve into the infatuation alone. They called out good nights as they headed for Cordy's room and as soon as the lights went off, they hurriedly shed their clothes and met in a fevered lip lock.

Buffy managed to pull herself away from the lips assaulting hers for a brief moment to catch her girlfriend's eyes. "Baby? Are you okay with this?" The only reply she received was a low moan and another heated kiss, which she gladly returned.

Buffy wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist and hoisted her up off the ground with Cordelia wrapping her legs around the slayer's middle quickly. Cordelia began rubbing her core against her girlfriend's stomach as the slayer spun them around, pressing her girlfriend to the wall gently. She moved her lips to the brunette's neck immediately and nipped and sucked at her pulse point, smiling at the frantic pace her blood was pulsating at under the skin. Cordelia leaned her head back against the wall as a gasp escaped her lips and Buffy seized the opportunity to kiss her throat teasingly. She trailed fiery kisses up to Cordelia's chin until she captured her lips. Their tongues danced frantically in a tantalizing curl until Cordelia's body stiffened as her drug enhanced orgasm ripped through her. Her strangled moan was swallowed by Buffy's tender lips as the last of it passed through her body.

Buffy grinned and moved them to the bed. The two of them collapsed into the blankets and Buffy immediately began kissing Cordelia's neck again. She trailed kisses from her throat down to the valley between her breasts. She swirled her tongue around her left nipple a few times before she pulled it between her lips to suck gently. After a minute, she switched to the other breast as her fingers danced their way down her girlfriend's stomach. She leaned back up to catch Cordelia's lips in a scorching kiss as she eased two fingers inside her gently.

Cordelia's hips rose off the bed, blindly seeking Buffy's touch, needing more. Buffy grinned and kissed her again, adding a third finger. A desperate moan escaped from Cordelia as her second orgasm built in the pit of her stomach. As Buffy's shoulder came into reach, she bit it gently as her fingers dug into the blonde's shoulder blades. A small cry crept past her lips as her orgasm coursed through her entire body. Buffy bit her lip to keep from crying out as Cordelia's teeth broke the skin on her shoulder. A moment later, Cordelia went limp in Buffy's arms as she brushed her damp hair from her face.

"One more?" Buffy asked in what Cordelia called her sexy voice.

Cordelia shook her head as she struggled to catch her breath. "No, I need a minute. Besides, I think it's your turn."

The slayer grinned and Cordy took that as her cue. She decided to slow things down for her favorite slayer and rolled her over gently. She began placing light, tender kisses on Buffy's neck and nipped at her earlobe lightly before pulling it between her lips and sucking on it gently. She pulled away and gazed down at the brilliantly flushed face below hers and she smiled sexily and kissed Buffy lightly at least a dozen times. She moved lower down the slayer's body and trailed her tongue over the slayer's nipples lightly before kissing her way down her girlfriend's stomach. Cordelia dragged her tongue from below her girlfriend's navel up to her throat, kissing and nipping at her pulse point before her tongue darted out to soothe the bitten flesh.

Buffy felt as if at any second she would go into sensory overload, but then she felt her girlfriend's tongue reach her damp core and she lost all coherent thoughts. Her back arched off the bed as one of her hands desperately clutched the sheets. She tangled her other hand in Cordelia's hair, her heels digging into the mattress as she bit her lip to keep from moaning too loudly. Her orgasm built up quickly and it tore through her, leaving her completely breathless and nearly blind for a moment.

Just as the last of it passed, she felt Cordelia ease two fingers inside her and her girlfriend's lips were steadily making their way back to hers. Lips on her stomach, her breasts, her neck, her throat and finally her lips. The slayer opened her mouth as Cordelia's tongue sought entrance and to taste herself on her girlfriend's lips caused her second orgasm to build at a more rapid pace. Her second came quicker than the first and her eyes rolled back in her head as the most mind-blowing orgasm she'd ever had scorched through her.

The pair collapsed side by side a moment later, but never went without contact. Fingers trailed down arms, legs and stomachs as they remained silently seeking each other out. Still eager lips and tongues sought out any skin to taste as they crawled back into each other, gently rocking to a rhythm only they could hear. Lips hovered teasingly as noses squished together. Desire darkened eyes locked as they moved closer to the edge. A tiny cry from Buffy and a strangled moan from Cordelia, and the world fell away in an almost blinding light. The light became all encompassing...every fear eased, every pain soothed, sadness overcome...absolute perfection. Both left completely vulnerable and open for the other to see as their eyes remained locked to look inside. They collapsed side by side once again, intertwining their fingers and wrapping their legs and arms around each other.

Cordelia looked to her right and smiled contently. "My heart," she murmured quietly.

Buffy smiled and kissed her lightly as she pulled her closer. "My soul," she whispered tenderly.

They shared a tender kiss and curled up close to each other and drifted off to sleep holding each other tightly.

Cordelia awoke slowly the next morning and yawned, blinking her eyes a few times to clear her vision. A smile came to her face as she remembered everything from the night before and she turned to face her girlfriend, but all she found was a foot buried under the pillow next to hers. She smiled fondly and lifted her head to find Buffy asleep on the opposite end of the bed, one foot under her pillow and the other buried under Cordelia's stomach. Cordelia had only woken up twice before with a twisted up slayer and each time it brought a smile to her face. Buffy was rolled over on her stomach with the blanket tangled around her waist, her lips protruding slightly as a barely audible snore tickled Cordelia's ears.

Instead of trying to get the slayer turned back the right way, Cordelia grabbed her pillow and tossed it next to Buffy's head and twisted around so she too was lying on the other end of the bed. She curled up on her side and she ran her fingers slowly down Buffy's spine. She watched with a loving smile as the slayer's gorgeous hazel eyes fluttered open sleepily.

"Hey," Cordelia whispered.

Buffy gave her a sweet, sleepy smile. "Hey." Buffy lifted her head for a moment and looked around. "I did it again, huh?" she asked softly, her voice scratchy from sleep.

Cordelia nodded and gave her a fond smile. "Yup. Sleep okay?"

Buffy smiled and snuggled deeper under the blanket around her waist. "Yeah, you?"

Cordelia wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her temple. "Yup. Have fun last night?"

Buffy blushed remembering all the kissing and dancing. "Did I actually kiss everyone last night?"

"Yup, don't feel bad though, all four of us kissed everyone at least once," Cordelia told her with a smile.

Buffy smiled lazily and closed her eyes again, nestling her face into her pillow deeper and breathing in the scent of her girlfriend next to her. Cordelia pulled the sheet up around her and propped her head up on her hand, trailing her fingers down her girlfriend's spine gently. She took in the sight of her girlfriend's bronzed skin contrasting the white sheets and blankets and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on Buffy's shoulder.

Buffy rolled over and stretched lightly before her girlfriend rested her head gently on her taught stomach. She ran her hand through the dark locks splayed across her abdomen and smiled at the tender butterfly kisses her girlfriend showered her skin with. "Ready to party again tonight?" she asked softly.

Cordelia nodded and grinned. "Yup," she replied as she shifted her position to face her girlfriend. "The DJ will be here at seven to get set up, the caterer is coming at five, the decorations will be here at four and the guests will be here at nine. We're all set."

Buffy nodded and pulled Cordelia up to her fully. She bit her lip as the brunette stretched her entire frame against her body. She noticed a wicked glint in her girlfriend's eyes and smiled thinking about what she had in store for the two of them for the remainder of the morning. All coherent thoughts were swept from her brain a moment later as Cordelia's lips attached themselves to her neck and it was hours before they returned.

Cordelia turned in her seat as the two slayers pushed through the doors of the library. She smiled watching them laugh at something silly. Buffy winked at her girlfriend when she noticed she was being watched and approached Cordelia with a smile and planted a light kiss on her lips.

"Hey baby," Buffy murmured softly when the kiss broke.

Cordelia smiled and dropped another kiss to her girlfriend's lips. "Hi."

"No kiss for me?" Faith asked with a grin.

Cordelia rolled her eyes and blew a kiss to Faith as she grabbed a small bag from the table and handed it to Buffy.

The blonde slayer's eyes got wide and she grinned. "Oooh, presents for me?" Cordelia just nodded her head and grinned a bit wider.

Buffy opened the bag and pulled out a glittering tiara. Her face held a puzzled expression when she looked up at her girlfriend. "Is this for that princess thing that I do sometimes? Cause you probably should have waited until Faith wasn't around to give this to me."

Faith raised an eyebrow at Buffy for a moment, remaining quiet for the time being.

Cordelia smiled. "It's for Homecoming."

Buffy frowned. "Are we going in costume?"

Faith snorted and hopped up on a table to watch what was sure to become an interesting conversation. Cordelia smiled and shook her head. " No, baby. I wanted you to have something that would make you look as much like a princess as me if I win Homecoming queen."

"You're running for Homecoming queen?" Buffy asked quietly.

Cordelia frowned, thinking Buffy would be excited or happy for her. "Well, I feel like I'm finally getting back to my old self around here. Since the alternate dimension thing, I quit cheering and all the other popular stuff I used to do. I just really want this."

"Oh."

The single word fell between them and only silence followed for a few moments after. "What's wrong?"

Buffy shook her head and laughed at the irony. "I was gonna run too."

Cordelia laughed, but stopped quickly when she saw the flash of hurt in Buffy's eyes. "Sorry, I thought you were kidding."

Buffy shook her head, getting a little angry. "Why would I be kidding about it? Am I not pretty enough or popular enough?"

Cordelia cringed internally at her stupidity. "No baby. You know you're beautiful. It's just that you're the slayer and that's a really special thing."

Buffy glared at her girlfriend, thinking that she was probably the only person that would understand why she wanted to do this. "It's because I'm the slayer that I want to do this. I spend every night fighting and grunting and breaking nails and getting dirty. I want to do something girly for a change."

Cordelia knew she had to proceed carefully because her girlfriend was getting more and more angry and if she pushed the wrong button she would have a very irate slayer on her hands. "Baby, if you want to be girly we can get you pampered. A manicure, pedicure and a day at the spa would have you feeling girly in no time."

Faith watched for a moment longer until she saw the two were about to erupt into a huge fight and she used all her slayer power to slip from the room into the office as quickly and quietly as she could.

Buffy sighed. "I understand the spa stuff would be nice and girly, but it's more than that. I want something besides death and destruction to remember high school by. I want to be special for just one night."

Cordelia started to get angry with her girlfriend for being a little selfish. "You don't think being the slayer-"

"A slayer!" Faith yelled from the other room.

"Shut up, Faith!" the girls yelled in unison from the middle of the library.

"You don't think being a slayer makes you special? You're one of two girls in the world, Buffy."

"Special?" Buffy asked angrily as she shook her head. "No, it makes me wish all I had to worry about was being Homecoming Queen. Running for queen would let me be just a girl for one night, not the special slayer that has a target on her ass every day of the week, Cordelia," stressing her girlfriend's name, knowing she only used it when she was good and pissed off.

Cordelia shook her head angrily, she was furious that Buffy refused to understand why she wanted and needed this so badly. "I'm sorry, Buffy, but I've made up my mind and I'm running."

Buffy glared at the other girl. "So am I."

Cordelia stomped her foot on the ground. "Fine!" She turned and flung the door of the library open and tried to slam it shut but it simply swung a few times before returning to its normal place.

Buffy stomped around the library for a minute or two before realizing she had a sparring buddy to work off her frustration. When she walked into the office and saw Faith sitting in the chair with a grin on her face, she rolled her eyes. "What the hell is so damn funny, Faith?"

Faith grinned wider. "Special slayer? Do you ride the short bus to school now?" She began laughing.

Buffy rolled her eyes again. "Shut up." She spun on her heel and marched out of the library and out of sight.

The brunette slayer shrugged and leaned back further in her chair. "At least I can amuse myself." Since she figured her training session was cancelled for the day she headed out of the library slowly, not having anything to do. She wandered down the halls of the school before exiting the building and heading for the parking lot. She cursed when she realized that a very pissed off Buffy probably took their jeep home so she cut through the lot, knowing she'd have to walk. As she walked through the parking lot, she saw that Cordelia's car was still in its space. She made her way over to the car and saw the other girl sitting in the driver's seat crying.

Faith rapped on the passenger door, startling Cordelia, but once she realized who it was she unlocked the door and Faith slipped into the other seat.

"You okay, C?" Faith asked quietly, knowing the fight between the two had shaken both girls.

Cordelia shook her head. "I just don't understand why she can't see that I need this."

Faith chewed on her lip for a moment. "Maybe because she needs it too?"

Cordelia glared at Faith. "If you're here to stick up for her, just get out now so I can leave."

"C, I'm not sticking up for her. I'm just trying to make you both see that maybe you both need this," Faith replied.

Cordelia thought a moment. "We can't both run. What would people think if we ran against each other?"

"That you're both really hot and both deserve it?" Faith blurted out without really thinking about it.

Cordelia smiled for a second when she saw a hint of a blush on Faith's fair cheeks. "It would be silly for us to run against each other."

Faith rolled her eyes. "Why, because the two of you would probably get every vote in school and nobody would bother voting the other girls? Problem solved. You'll probably tie, you both feel redeemed or girly or special or whatever the hell you want to feel and everyone wins. Not a big deal in my book."

Cordelia smiled at her friend for a moment, loving the fact that Faith could always simplify things to the point of making you feel stupid for even having the problem in the first place. "Thanks, Faith."

Faith shot her a cocky grin and polished her fingernails on the front of her shirt. "No sweat, C. All in a day's work." She gave the ex-cheerleader a serious look for a moment. "You need to work this stuff out with B though. ASAP."

Cordelia frowned, not looking forward to that conversation or the one she was about to start with the slayer in her passenger seat. "I know." She took a deep breath and let it out in a huff before looking Faith in the eye. "I need a favor."

"What's up?" Faith asked.

Cordelia seemed to ponder her request for a moment and decided to go ahead and ask. "Well, I have to go out of town for the weekend with my parents and I was sort of hoping you'd keep an eye on Summers for me while I'm gone."

"What?"

Cordelia frowned for a moment and her brow creased in thought. "Look, Faith, Summers and I just had that stupid fight over all this Homecoming stuff and I was just hoping you could keep an eye on her while I'm gone so she doesn't do anything stupid."

Suddenly something clicked for Faith and she gave her friend a knowing nod. "You mean like cheat on you?"

"No, I mean like get drunk and cheat on me," Cordelia huffed out, more mad at herself than Faith.

Faith took a step back and held up her hands in surrender. "Hey, easy, Tiger."

Cordelia smiled apologetically. "Sorry. I'm just worried."

"I know you are, but you have to know that B won't ever make that mistake again." Faith caught Cordelia's eyes and held them. "C, you didn't see her this summer. She was a mess. It was almost as bad as when you disappeared. She didn't sleep much and barely ate. It took all of us nearly all summer to get her back to the Buffy you saw at the Bronze that night." Faith took a breath and sighed. "I understand why you're asking what you are, but you know as well as I do that me keeping tabs on your girl is only going to make all of us feel awful if she finds out about it. I just can't."

Cordelia rolled her eyes and nodded her head, knowing Faith was right and feeling awful she put the brunette slayer in the position to have to make that decision. "You're right. I'm sorry, Faith. I never should have asked."

Faith shook her head. "Nope, you shouldn't have, but I understand why you did." She shrugged. "Look, all I can tell you is that B hates herself still to this day for what she did with that dumb ass drummer bitch. I know that doesn't help you with the trust thing, but all you can really do is just decide to trust her and do it. If you can't do that, end it now because not trusting her is only going to drive you two apart."

Cordelia raised one perfect eyebrow and a smirk formed on her face. "Faith, I still don't understand where all this wisdom comes from that you spew out every once in a while. I doubt I ever will." She grinned when Faith opened her mouth to comment and cut her off. "If you say it's a slayer thing, I will hit you. I personally think it's from hanging around Giles a little too much."

Sunday night, after Cordelia had arrived home from her weekend trip with her parents, she stood on Buffy's porch ringing the doorbell. When Faith answered the door and took one look at Cordelia she yelled for Buffy right away. The two brunettes shared a grin and Faith wandered into the kitchen so she could at least be in earshot for this one. Another advantage of living with her sister slayer was that she usually got to witness most of the other girl's drama without actually having to be involved in it. She enjoyed it at least. Buffy bounded down the stairs and stopped short at the bottom when she saw her girlfriend wearing a sandwich board on her front porch that read 'Buffy Summers for Queen'. She smiled and shook her head at her girlfriend's discomfort from having to wear such a tacky apparatus. She knew Cordelia would only go to such extreme measures for her and in a strange way she was touched by the gesture.

"Okay, first take that thing off, because I know it has to be killing you to wear one of those in public and second come in," Buffy told her as she grasped the brunette's wrist and pulled her inside the house.

Cordelia pulled the sandwich board off over her head and set it down on the ground and presented Buffy with a single red rose. "I'm sorry."

Buffy leaned in and kissed her girlfriend soundly on the lips before smiling and smelling the rose. "I know. I am too." She glanced down at the board. "You should probably throw that thing away though. I decided not to run. I think you should."

Cordelia shook her head. "No. The sign is staying because you're running, not me. I decided not to."

"If you two have a fight about this, I will personally kill you both!" Faith yelled from the kitchen.

The two girls laughed and moved upstairs to Buffy's bedroom for a little privacy. Once the door was shut, Cordelia continued, "Baby, I really do want you to run. You could totally win and I would be behind you all the way."

Buffy shook her head and sighed. "Nah. It's true what you said about being a slayer. It's huge and important and it's enough for me."

"But that's not all you are," Cordelia replied gently. "Baby, I don't want you to ever feel that being a slayer is all that you are."

"I don't," Buffy told her confidently. She thought a moment. "Why don't we actually take Faith's suggestion this time and both run?"

"She told you about that idea too?" Cordelia asked.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, she seems to think we're both hot enough to nab every vote and tie."

Cordelia laughed. "She told me the same thing." She paused a moment. "I don't want anyone's feelings to get hurt if that's what we decide to do."

"Mine won't," Buffy replied. "If you win, great. If I win, great. If we tie…well, that's even better. At least we'll have two crowns."

Cordelia smiled thinking the crown she had purchased was beautiful and it would have been a shame to let it go to waste. Her smile suddenly turned rather mischievous. She suddenly thought about that little princess thing Buffy did sometimes and had an idea. "What did you do with that crown?"

Buffy was confused for a moment but suddenly got where her girlfriend was going with the question and she reached down beside her bed and pulled the crown out of the bag and grinned back at her girlfriend. It seemed that all was returning to normal.

"Hi girls, how was school?" Joyce asked the slayers as they walked into the kitchen.

Both girls shrugged as they tossed their bags in the corner. "Not bad," Buffy replied. She spied a bouquet of flowers on the counter and gave her mom a strange look. "What's with the flowers?"

Joyce smiled sadly. "They're from your dad, honey. It turns out he won't be able to make it for your birthday."

Buffy nodded sadly and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before silently moving towards the stairs. Faith and Joyce exchanged a sad smile and Faith jutted a thumb over her shoulder letting mom know she'd keep an eye on Buffy. The brunette slayer headed up the steps after Buffy and followed her into her bedroom.

"B, you okay?" Faith asked once she closed the door behind her.

Buffy shrugged and tossed her jacket over the back of her chair. "Dad doesn't disappoint. I'm surprised he even remembered this year. Usually he calls about a month late."

"Sorry, B," Faith mumbled sadly as she took a seat at the desk.

Buffy took a seat on the bed and crossed her legs under her. "Faith you have no idea how lucky you are to have a dad like yours."

Faith nodded with a small smile. "I know. He's your dad too now don't forget." She paused a moment and glanced at the blonde. "Your pops was cool when you were younger though, right?"

Buffy shook her head sadly and shuddered at a few painful memories. "He certainly didn't ever deserve to win any father of the year awards. When I was really little, he was kind of mean. He was drunk all the time and didn't always think about the things he was doing. He was mean when he drank and he hit me a few times. He only touched me once. I think even he had enough of a conscience to realize it was way with the wrong to be doing that stuff."

Faith closed her eyes for a moment and swallowed her anger. She sat next to the blonde on the bed and nudged her slightly. "I know it's not the same, but you and pops can do the real father daughter thing. Technically now he's your dad too."

Buffy glanced up at Faith and had to grin at the hopeful expression plastered on the brunette slayer's face. It could have been very easy for Faith to be jealous about Buffy wanting a real father daughter relationship with her dad, but she was grateful she was being cool about sharing her father. She nodded and nudged Faith back. "Thanks, Fai."

Faith grinned and nudged Buffy again, standing up and heading for the closet. "So, I was thinking we should get all girlied up for going out to dinner tonight with the folks, whaddya think?"

Buffy's eyes suddenly lit up at the prospect of dressing Faith up for the night and she immediately joined the brunette in front of the closet and began picking out clothes for them both.

Later that night, Buffy, Faith and Cordelia met up with the gang at the Bronze for some fun after dinner with the parents.

"Ooh, you girls look all snazied up, how was dinner?" Willow asked with a grin as the three girls slid into the booth with everyone.

Buffy shrugged and reached across Cordelia to snag a sip of Angel's drink. He raised an eyebrow playfully at her and she just stuck her tongue out back at him. "Dinner was okay. Ya know, the usual. Anything fun going on here?"

Xander furrowed his brow for a moment. "Actually Giles was here."

Cordelia raised an eyebrow. "Giles was here?"

He nodded. "Yup. He was wondering where Buffy and Faith were, he was acting kinda weird."

The slayers exchanged a confused glance. "What the hell was he doing here looking for us, he knew we had a birthday dinner for B tonight with the 'rentals."

Xander shrugged as he grasped Amy's hand in his and pulled her up from the table to dance. "He just said he'd talk to us in the morning. Apparently it wasn't that big of a deal so let's forget about him for tonight and get our party on!"

Buffy shrugged and took a sip of her drink before Cordelia pulled her to her feet and the two spent the rest of the evening in bliss dancing and laughing with their friends.

"Hey, G-Man, why the unexpected lookout for me and B at the Bronze last night?" Faith asked as she arrived in the library with the rest of the gang.

Giles exchanged a look with Jenny and glanced back up at the slayers. "Everyone please sit down. There is something you all need to know."

Cordelia squeezed Buffy's hand a bit tighter at the tone of Giles's voice as the slayers exchanged a slightly worried glance. "Giles? What's going on?"

The watcher sighed heavily as he sat down at the table with the rest of the group. "The reason, Faith, that I was out looking for you and Buffy is because I was afraid the council was going to launch an attack on the two of you. Or at least you, Buffy."

Buffy glanced at Faith and saw the brunette's face mirroring her confusion. "Giles, why would the council attack me and Faith?"

Jenny placed a hand on his arm and sat up a bit. "When a slayer turns eighteen, her watcher is meant to administer a test to make sure she is capable of her duties."

"They ordered me to administer a drug that would strip you of your powers and then you would be led to a location where you would battle a vampire on your own until one of you was dead," Giles told them quietly.

"Oh my God," Amy murmured quietly. Xander reached for her hand and kissed her knuckles softly in comfort.

"So I'm assuming they're pretty pissed that the test wasn't done," Cordelia stated, completely shocked the council would do that to their slayers.

"Furious is more like it," Giles told them gloomily.

"So you think they'll send someone here and do what exactly?" Xander asked.

Giles swallowed hard and removed his glasses. "Well, they would probably relieve me of my duties as Buffy and Faith's watcher, then administer the test on their own."

"Like hell they will!" Cordelia exclaimed as she shot out of her chair. Buffy grasped her hand lightly and shook her head slightly when her girlfriend looked back down at her. Cordelia sat down in a huff and glared at Giles for all she was worth…which was quite a bit. "If those bastards think they are going to lay one finger on Buffy and Faith, they have another thing coming, I'll tell you that right now."

Giles held up a hand and nodded. "Cordelia I can assure you that none of us will allow anything happen to Faith and Buffy." He glanced at the two slayers with a spark of fatherly love and returned a more serious look to the irate ex-cheerleader. "I promise you they won't be harmed in any way by the council."

"Damn right they won't," Cordelia mumbled angrily.

Giles shifted uncomfortably and spared her a small smile before clearing his throat and looking at both his slayers. "The two of you need to be extremely careful for the next while until we are sure the council will leave you well enough alone."

The two slayers shared a look and both nodded, knowing that anything that got Giles and Jenny this worked up was worth keeping in mind. Cordelia was sitting quietly next to her girlfriend, fuming and silently plotting the deaths of the Council members that wanted to put Faith and Buffy through their 'trials'. She sat pretending to listen as Giles went on and on about this and that and before she knew it, the meeting was adjourned and they were all headed for their first classes of the day.

"You okay?" Buffy asked her as they stopped at their lockers for a moment.

She nodded her head as she spun the combination on the lock. "Just quietly plotting a few deaths of a few select British assholes."

Buffy grinned and shook her head. "That's my girl, always so protective over little, old me."

Cordelia snorted and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, like I'd have any say in the matter if they did, God forbid, try to go after you two. All I'd do is run around and scream like an idiot to distract them as always."

Buffy shook her head and kissed her lightly. "Well, at least you'd look hot doing it," she replied with a sly smile.

"Damn straight."

Buffy grinned and grabbed her girlfriend's hand and pulled her towards their first class, happy that things seemed to be getting somewhat back to normal.

Buffy rolled over in her bed for the millionth time and glanced at the clock again. It read just past midnight and the slayer groaned in frustration. She hadn't had to sleep in her bed alone in months and she realized how hard it was, but Cordelia's parents had come home from vacation for a few nights and ordered her to stay home at least those nights to attend elite parties and at least pretend to be a normal, rich family. Tonight was thankfully the last night they'd be home before they left for Europe for two months on 'business'.

She finally tossed her blankets aside and sighed heavily as she trudged down the stairs. Her mom and Brad were away all weekend on a mini-vacation and Faith was staying with Angel in the dorms for the night, so Buffy was alone in the house.

She moved to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water before wandering into the living room. She flopped down on the couch and flipped the television on before sprawling out and pulling a blanket over herself.

Just as she was beginning to drift off, a frantic knock at the door awoke her with a start. She blinked a few times to clear her vision before sitting up and moving quickly to the door. When she opened it, she gasped when she saw her girlfriend standing on the porch looking like she'd been mugged. Her hair was mused and she had a split lip. A large bruise was forming on her left cheekbone and she had a large gash across her forehead across her left eyebrow.

"Oh my God, baby what happened?" Buffy questioned as panic set in and she pulled her girlfriend in the house and hugged her tightly.

Cordelia shook her head against her girlfriend and instantly burst into tears. Her knees suddenly gave out from under her and Buffy barely managed to hold her up before she collapsed fully. The slayer pulled her girlfriend up and into her arms before carrying her upstairs to the bathroom. She set Cordelia down on the edge of the bathtub and grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink.

"Baby, what happened?" she asked again quietly.

Cordelia simply shook her head as a new batch of tears spilled onto her cheeks. Buffy let it go for the time being as she set about cleaning the wounds on her girlfriends face. Her mind was racing trying to think of possible explanations for Cordelia's current state, but her brain stubbornly refused to move on from the one probable conclusion she knew was the right one. She placed a few butterfly bandages over the gash on her forehead and managed to stop the bleeding. She cracked an ice pack and handed it to the still distraught girl in front of her before leading her into the bedroom.

Buffy had just managed to get them both into sleeping clothes when Cordelia uttered her first words since she arrived at the house, "Mom knows."

Buffy's brain clicked everything into place and her stomach dropped as she gazed at Cordelia carefully for a moment before her rage peaked and she nearly went homicidal. "Your mom did this to you?" she ground out around clenched teeth. She had figured as much, but to actually hear the truth released her inner killer.

Cordelia nodded and winced at the pain in her face. "Once all the guests left tonight, she pulled out actual pictures of you and me. At the Bronze, at school, everywhere. Apparently she hired someone to follow us because she knew something was up. She told me never to come back to her house as long as I decided to live this immoral lifestyle."

Buffy clenched and unclenched her fists several times as her rage nearly boiled over. "She's dead."

"Don't even bother," Cordelia mumbled in a defeated tone. "I didn't come over until a while after they left for the airport. Their flight took off ten minutes ago."

Buffy paced the length of the bedroom shaking her head and muttering obscenities under her breath as she devised a way to kill Cordelia's mother…not really, but she was pretty close. "I'm not letting her near you again, you realize that don't you?"

Cordelia stared at the floor for a minute in silence and she sighed heavily. "Baby, it doesn't matter anyways, my eighteenth birthday is in a month so I'll be free of them then."

Buffy knelt down in front of her and laid a hand on each of Cordy's knees. "Are you okay?"

Cordelia shook her head and kissed her girlfriend lightly. "I don't know."

"Is there anything I can do?" Buffy asked softly as she brushed a strand of hair away from the brunette's eyes, her heart nearly constricting when she flinched just slightly. Cordelia looked up into her girlfriend's eyes and Buffy could see how completely lost and hurt she was by her mother's latest horrible actions. The slayer pulled her girlfriend into a warm, gentle embrace and held her tightly before pulling away to kiss her lightly. She ran a finger over Cordelia's cheek carefully and frowned at how warm the bruised flesh was. "Baby, I think you might need to go to the hospital for this."

Cordelia shook her head and her eyes got wide. "No. No way, Summers, hospitals ask too many questions, I can't go to them."

Buffy's anger resurfaced for a moment and she clenched her fists. "I don't care how many questions they ask, what are you afraid of? Are you worried they're going to find out that it was your bitch of a mother that did this to you?"

Cordelia took a deep breath and let it out slowly; she knew getting angry at Buffy wasn't something she needed to be doing right now. She was only trying to help her. "Buffy, it doesn't matter if they find out it was her. She's off in Europe and the next time she's here, I'll be eighteen and I won't have to see her at all. This was the final time I had to deal with her."

Buffy sighed heavily and grasped one of Cordelia's hands in hers. "Then why are you so against going to the hospital?" she asked softly.

Cordelia dropped her head and her chin quivered. She shook her head slowly as a few errant tears escaped her eyes. "I don't want anyone else to know I let her do this stuff to me," she murmured softly.

Buffy closed her eyes and sighed. "Sweetie, it's not your fault that your mother is a hideous alcoholic and she takes her problems out on you. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

She looked up through her lashes and shook her head. "I can't help but be afraid of her. She'd kill me if she knew I went to the hospital."

Buffy took a terrified step back and replayed Cordelia's statement in her head a few times. "Wait. Are you serious?"

Cordelia looked up in confusion and blinked when she realized what she'd said. "Buffy, even she wouldn't go that far. She isn't completely insane, she's just a stupid drunk bitch." She ran a frustrated hand through her hair and sighed heavily. "I'm just a little emotional." She watched as her girlfriend slumped to the floor and leaned back against the bed.

Buffy dropped her head to her hands and closed her eyes to the tears threatening to spill. "Cor, I'm drowning here, I'm lost and I don't have a clue what to do," she whispered in a broken, defeated tone.

Cordelia kneeled down in front of the distraught slayer and reached over grasping Buffy's face, cupping her cheeks in her palms. "Honey, I never have to see her again. Ever, okay?"

Buffy let out a disgusted sigh. "Baby, I am so sorry. You come over here after your mom beat the hell out of you and you end up comforting me. I am such a heartless bitch sometimes."

Cordelia shook her head firmly and kissed the slayer gently. "No. Honey, tonight has been emotional for both of us and this is the two of us going through this together. We can't get through these things alone, we're supposed to lean on each other."

Buffy shook her head sadly for a moment. "I understand that but this is one of those times where you should be leaning on me not the other way around."

Cordelia gave her a pointed look and winced at the movement for a split second before covering the wince quickly. "Says who?"

Buffy caught the wince however and frowned. "Says me. Me is also saying we need to go to the hospital for that. You might have a broken bone in your face."

Cordelia sighed. "You're not gonna give up on that until I go, are you?"

"Nope," the slayer replied with a sad smile. "I'm only concerned about you."

Cordelia knew that the slayer could be just as stubborn as anyone she'd ever met so she finally relented and the two girls collected themselves and headed to the hospital, both knowing they were in for a long night.

Buffy was aware of a thumping noise before her brain fully understood what the noise was. As her eyes opened fully she became aware that someone was knocking on her bedroom door. She glanced over and found Cordelia still sound asleep wrapped around her. She blinked a few times and managed to detangle herself from the bronzed limbs of her girlfriend and slid out of bed carefully. She saw Faith on the other side of the door when she opened it and gave her sister slayer a questioning look. "Faith, what's up?"

The brunette slayer glanced down the steps and back at Buffy before she jutted a thumb over her shoulder towards the stairs. "Sorry, B, but you need to come downstairs."

Buffy nodded and closed her bedroom door fully before following Faith downstairs. She was slightly confused when she saw Angel waiting for them in the kitchen holding the newspaper looking troubled. When he looked up, Buffy could see tears brimming in his eyes. "Guys, what's going on?"

Angel silently held the paper out to her and as she scanned the page, she gasped and looked to Angel for confirmation. "I guess she doesn't know yet," he murmured quietly.

Buffy shook her head, still trying to process the information from the newspaper. "I'll go get her," she told them quietly as she turned from the kitchen.

With each footfall, Buffy felt a bigger sense of dread fill her as she thought about having to tell her girlfriend the news she'd just learned. When she reached her bedroom door, she cracked it open and slid into the room silently. She sat on the edge of her bed carefully and sighed thinking about how Cordelia's life was about to change dramatically and she hated to be the one to break the news to her, but there was no other option. She had never felt so torn in her life. As she watched her girlfriend sleep, she couldn't help but focus on the bruises and cuts that marred her girlfriend's skin, knowing the girl's own mother had been responsible for the stitches and the split lip and the nearly fractured cheek bone. She hated Cordelia's mother with a passion and now the woman was dead. She honestly didn't know what or how to feel other than confused.

She leaned down slowly and placed a gentle kiss to her girlfriend's temple and ran the pads of her fingers over Cordelia's jaw-line. When the brunette stirred and looked up at her she smiled sleepily. "Hey."

Buffy smiled and swallowed hard. "Hey baby."

Cordelia immediately sensed something in her girlfriend's tone and she sat up catching the slayer's eyes with her own. "What's wrong?"

Buffy took in a shaky breath and grasped both of Cordelia's hands in her own. "Baby, Angel and Faith are downstairs and they woke me up to show me the newspaper this morning."

When Buffy paused for a few seconds Cordelia became more panicked. "Buffy, tell me what happened."

Buffy nodded and sighed. "Your parents' plane crashed last night. The paper said there were no survivors. I'm so sorry," she whispered as a tear escaped and trickled down her cheek.

Cordelia sat and processed the information for a moment and Buffy watched as it seemed to sink in and hit home, but Cordelia's face never changed. She didn't seem upset or mad or scared or anything…she seemed blank. She was having severely conflicting emotions in her own heart. She hated Cordelia's mother with a passion for the hell she had put her through, but at the same time, she was still Cordelia's mom. Buffy cursed the fates wondering why things just couldn't be easy for her girlfriend for once.

Faith and Angel sat downstairs in the kitchen not knowing what to say. Angel knew better than Faith how awful Cordelia's mom could be, but at the same time, he'd known the woman all his life. When they had been kids she would always make sure the two of them had everything they wanted and always led a comfortable childhood, even if she wasn't around much to witness it. Faith reached across the table and gripped his hand, knowing he was having the same conflicting emotions that she was.

"I guess we should call the crew and let them know," she mumbled out, not wanting to have to break the news to anyone else.

Angel nodded numbly and pulled out his cell phone so he could make a few calls. He could tell that everyone in the group was torn. They all knew the bitch that Cordelia's mother could be, but they also knew that with everything Cordelia had been through in the last year, this was just one more thing to push her closer to her breaking point.

Within the hour, the entire crew, including Giles and Jenny were assembled in Cordelia's living room. Amy and Willow brought over food from their favorite take out place and they had ordered enough food for an army. Buffy and Cordelia joined them not long after they had all arrived, feeling instantly at ease and comforted by the group's presence. The group fussed over Cordelia's injuries, but she brushed them off saying she'd gotten them from a tussle with a vampire on the way over to Buffy's the night before and only Buffy knew the truth. Cordelia vowed that she and Buffy would always be the only two that ever really knew the truth about that night and those injuries. She wasn't sure why she kept it from her friends, but she felt like it was respecting her dead parents in some way and Buffy did nothing to question it. Angel took on the task of answering the phone all day as friends and relatives called. They had known him almost as long as Cordelia so it was as if they were talking to family.

The next few weeks were incredibly busy for Cordelia and her girlfriend. Cordelia had meetings seemingly every day with lawyers and social services workers and various other government workers. She was set to inherit a very substantial sum of money once she turned eighteen, but until then the courts had allowed Joyce Summers to be her legal guardian for the month following her parents' deaths. Cordelia took Faith's room for the month and Faith took over the basement, which she and her dad had finished and turned into a gym/hang out for her and Buffy. She didn't care one way or the other where she slept and she knew that Joyce wasn't about to allow Buffy and Cordelia to share a room.

One Saturday the gang was gathered at the Chase estate to go through everything that Cordelia wanted to keep or sell or donate to charity.

Xander pushed his way through the front door and narrowly avoided a collision with Angel and Faith moving a sofa to the front yard for goodwill to pick up. "Pizza's here guys!" he shouted through the massive house. Within a few minutes, the gang convened in the living room to eat. They handed out paper plates and stood around the room in moderate silence, just enjoying filling their empty bellies.

"Hey, CC, what about all the gym equipment upstairs? Would you mind if I took the free weights off your hands?" Angel asked her as he reached for another slice of pizza

Willow gave him a strange look. "Aren't you living in the dorms?"

Angel shrugged and bit into his slice. "Well, yeah, but I'm renting that little house I told you guys about and anything I get for it, I can go ahead and move in so I don't have much moving to do over the summer."

Faith gave him a weird look. "Ace, you've got months before next semester. A little excited?" She grinned at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Angel rolled his eyes at her. "So? I told you I love this house. I can't get excited about it?"

Cordelia rolled her eyes as Faith stuck her tongue out at him. "Yes, Angel you can have the weights, but you need to take them sometime this week or they'll get sold with the house."

He nodded. "I know, I'll take them to my parent's place." He cringed bringing up his parents. Cordelia had been getting upset at any mention of anybody's parents and he hoped his comment wouldn't spur another crying session. He hated to see her cry and hated being the one to ever make her cry. She tensed for a moment and seemed to let the comment roll off her back. Buffy saw her jaw clench for a moment and walked over to hug and kiss her girlfriend quickly before getting back to work so they could get out of the house Cordelia had grown up in as quickly as possible.

Cordelia watched her friends working around the house a few minutes later, all packing various boxes with things she'd grown up with that were going to be donated to charity. Her parents had left her with more money than she'd ever spend in a lifetime and she wanted to get rid of just about anything that would remind her of her life in the house with her parents. It wasn't as though she wanted to forget them, she had packed every stuffed animal her father had ever given her when he came home from business trips, she just wanted to start fresh.

She glanced around and noticed everyone was accounted for and she slipped into the kitchen. She reached up and opened the freezer door, pulling out a chilled bottle of vodka. She grabbed a glass and poured herself a rather large shot of the clear liquor and took it instantly. Her face soured and she shook her head before taking one more. She felt the world closing in on her and she knew she had to do something to numb the pain and calm the panic.

A moment later, she grabbed a soda from the fridge and drank a few sips before popping a mint in her mouth and joining her friends in the living room. Buffy approached her and ran a hand down her back, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"You okay, baby?" she asked softly.

Cordelia nodded, closing her eyes as she felt the alcohol kick in and numb some of the pain. "Yeah, I'm okay. Come on, let's get back to work."

Buffy nodded and watched her girlfriend move deeper into the room. She sighed heavily and grabbed another box to continue packing.

"Hey have any of you guys talked to Ace recently?" Faith asked her friends at lunch one day. Her question was met with an assortment of 'no's' and Faith became concerned.

"Have you not talked to him lately?" Buffy asked her.

Faith shook her head. "No, I haven't seen him or talked to him in a few days, and we usually talk everyday, I hope he's okay."

"What about his roommate?" Amy asked absently as she braided a few strands of Willow's hair.

"Yeah, I talked to him last night and he said he saw him sleeping all day yesterday, but he was gone last night," Faith replied with a frown. She pulled her cell phone out and dialed Angel's number at the dorm.

After a few rings, Angel picked up. "Hello?" he said groggily.

"Ace? Hey are you okay?" Faith asked him; relieved he was finally picking up his phone after days of trying to track him down.

She heard some rustling on the other end. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good, I was worried cause I haven't talked to you in a few days."

"I've just been busy. Look, Aiden, I have to run, I have a class in a few minutes. Bronze later?" he asked.

Faith nodded. "Sure. Love you."

"You too, see ya."

"Bye."

When Faith hung up the phone, her friends were all watching her with smiles. "See? He's fine," Buffy told her.

Faith nodded and smiled as she tucked her phone away in her bag. "I know. After last year with the Queen, I just worry if I don't talk to everyone everyday." Faith rolled her eyes when the group chorused, "Aww."

"Coop, you can be so sweet when you want to be," Amy teased her with a grin.

"Bite me, all of you," Faith shot back, a toothy grin on her face. She sat and thought about her conversation with Angel, something didn't seem right about it. Angel hadn't called her Aiden since before they broke up, and even then he didn't use that name in regular conversations, it was more a cuddly name for her. She was worried about him since his roommate told her he was sleeping all day yesterday. She hoped he was feeling okay.

She eyed Faith carefully for a moment before she nudged her lightly. "You okay?" she asked quietly.

Faith nodded. "Yeah, just thinking about Ace. I hope he's okay." She gave Buffy her best genuine smile; she didn't want her friends to know she was worried.

Cordelia peeked around the corner and watched her friends sitting at their usual table and she felt her heart constrict in her chest. She reached into her bag and pulled out the flask, dumping the remainder of the contents into her soda and she stashed it back in her bag. She tilted her head back and drank nearly half her soda before she capped it and approached her friends.

She forced a smile when they all turned and looked up at her as she approached. She found it especially hard to return Buffy's hopeful smile. Her girlfriend wanted so badly to make things right and she didn't understand that it wouldn't be…not for a long time anyways. As a slayer, it was in her blood to make things right and safe and she honestly didn't understand how this was any different. She had acted the same way when she had come back from the hell dimension. She wanted to fix things and make everything right, when only time would heal all of her wounds.

Buffy must have sensed something because she turned back to the table when she saw the smile on Cordelia's face and she knew it all too well. She waited for the brunette to take her seat next to her and leaned out to kiss her on the cheek once she was settled.

"How are things, C?" Faith asked as she took a bite of her apple.

Cordelia gave her a shrug and pursed her lips for a moment. "Things are….it's hard to say."

Faith nodded and continued to eat her apple. She glanced around and tried to ignore the giant elephant sitting on the table between all of them. "Me and B caught some vamps having a threesome a few nights ago," she blurted out quickly, not knowing what else to say.

The rest of the table looked at her for a moment until they all burst out laughing. They were all kind of stunned by the statement, but in the moment they all desperately needed something to break the uncomfortable silence that had settled over them.

The rest of lunch passed with relatively little fanfare and they all headed to class when the warning bell rang. Buffy made a mental note to keep an eye on her girlfriend and her sister slayer for the next few days just to make sure they were really okay. A warm hand suddenly slid into hers and she smiled as she looked into the gorgeous chestnut eyes of her girlfriend. She tried desperately to ignore the pain she saw in those eyes, but she couldn't and she knew it wouldn't be long before that pain and Faith's pain came spilling out on all of them. She just hoped they were all ready.

Cordelia stood in the bathroom at the Summers/Cooper house and finished putting the last of her make up on. It was one of her better days that had her feeling like she didn't have to drink to get through the day so she was grateful for that. She was quickly approaching her eighteenth birthday and she knew she had to get moving on buying a place to live. She had been looking at a few houses and found one in particular that she simply fell in love with. She had been planning on taking Buffy by with the real estate agent so she could take one last look before she decided on anything and she was desperately hoping that Buffy would like the house. She knew from the bottom of her heart, she knew in the pit of her stomach and even the most subconscious parts of her brain that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Buffy and she was desperately hoping that Buffy liked the house because she had planned on asking the slayer to move in with her once they graduated. She knew that moving in together was a big step, but she was completely confident that the two of them were strong enough to make it work. They had been through more in the past four years than most normal people would go through in a lifetime and she wanted nothing more than to start her life with Buffy as soon as possible. She finished her make up and ran a brush through her hair one last time before she collected her girlfriend and shooed them both out the door so as not to be late.

Buffy stood in the vast entryway of the house that Cordelia had been looking to buy and she couldn't help but feel a sense of awe. The house wasn't nearly as large as the house Cordelia had just finished selling, but it was sleek and modern and simply beautiful. The home boasted four bedrooms and five baths, a huge master suite with two giant walk in closets, some rooms had floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the totally private pool and backyard area. The house was settled on a larger amount of land and an eight-foot wall surrounded the entire property. It offered Cordelia a sense of security and safety as well as a new start that she felt she desperately needed.

"What do you think, Summers?" Cordelia asked with a small smile.

Buffy grinned back. "Baby, it's beautiful. I don't know how you could say no to this place."

Cordelia grinned wider. "Really? You like it?"

Buffy nodded. "I love it," she stated simply.

"Okay," Cordelia replied. "I guess if this place gets your seal of approval, I have no choice but to take it."

The two share a giddy grin and Cordelia kisses her quickly before wandering off to hunt down the agent that was giving them a moment to discuss the house. Buffy took a moment to wander outside and sit by the pool while she waited for her girlfriend to come back. Twenty minutes later, Cordelia and the agent found her by the pool, both had silly smiles on their faces as they all shook hands and headed out of the house.

"I say we go out to dinner to celebrate," Cordelia told the slayer as she slid behind the wheel of her car.

Buffy grinned. "Absolutely. There's that new Italian place downtown that I've been dying to try."

Cordelia smiled and nodded, slipping her hand into Buffy's as they drove towards downtown. She felt a ball of nerves begin to roll in the pit of her stomach, her apprehension growing as they got closer to the restaurant. She knew she had a very important conversation she wanted to have with Buffy and she was nervous as hell about it. Her fears were quelled a moment later when Buffy kissed her knuckles on the hand she was holding and gave her a heartbreaking smile. She knew she was doing the right thing.

"So you really liked the house?" Cordelia asked once the waiter had taken their orders.

Buffy nodded her head and plucked a breadstick from the basket in front of her. "Baby, I loved it. Why do you keep asking?"

"I just want to be sure," Cordelia replied with a kind of shy look on her face.

Buffy was instantly aware that there was something else going on in her girlfriend's beautiful head. She'd seen that look before. "Baby, I know that face. What's going on?"

Cordelia took a deep breath. It was now or never. "I want you to move in with me after we graduate."

Buffy smiled. "Really?"

Cordelia was relieved when she saw the smile and grinned back. "Of course. I feel like we're so good and so strong and so in love and I honestly don't want to spend a moment apart. I know that's not really realistic, but why not live together?"

Buffy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She really wasn't sure she wanted to have this conversation in public, but she really didn't have a choice. "Baby, I would love it if we lived together."

It was Cordelia's turn to recognize her girlfriend's look. "But?"

"But I think we should wait a while," Buffy replied quietly, hoping she wasn't breaking Cordelia's heart with the statement.

Cordelia was crushed momentarily, but realized she could probably convince her girlfriend of just about anything with the right argument. "Wait for what?"

Buffy took a moment to collect her thoughts. She knew that she was treading on very thin ice and she had to choose her words carefully or the relationship she'd spent so much time and energy rebuilding would fall apart in her lap. "Baby, we haven't been back together for very long and I think it would be good for you to live in the house and I'll live in the dorms for a semester."

Cordelia knew her girlfriend had a point, but she tried her pout nonetheless. "You just don't want to live with me."

Buffy ignored the pout, she'd seen it before and she continued. "I just feel like we're still feel like we're kind of fragile and I really want us to take our time to make sure we're really strong before we take the next step."

Cordelia paused for a moment and found something positive in Buffy's statement. "That means you've thought about the next step."

Buffy gave her a heartbreaking smile. "Of course I have!"

Cordelia reached across the table and grasped Buffy's hand in hers. She knew that the two of them would be okay and one more semester wouldn't kill them. She was still a little upset, but would let it go for the time being. "Just one semester?"

"Just one."

Cordelia suddenly thought of something and she smirked. "Yeah, you remember that when you have to sneak around with your slaying again."

Buffy frowned and backpedaled slightly. "I hadn't thought about that. Maybe we should think about this again."

Cordelia shook her head and grinned. "Nope, no rushing. One semester."

Buffy smiled at the girl across the table from her and she couldn't help but feel like things might be getting better for her girlfriend. Cordelia had seemed like her old self all day and she looked like her old self as well, which made Buffy feel much better.

Her clothes looked freshly pressed and not like she'd slept in them the night before. Her eyes were clear and bright, not the usual bloodshot from lack of sleep and drinking too much. Her hair was clean and shiny as opposed to being stringy and messy. She knew more than she let on about the drinking with Faith. She had hoped it was just a phase or some small part of her recovery process, but she wasn't sure it was over yet. The way Cordelia had looked all day was enough to have her hoping that this was the beginning of the end of the other girl's self destructive ways.

The next day at school, Cordelia skipped her fourth period class and headed to the library. She was pretty sure that Jenny and Giles would both be busy and probably wouldn't even notice she was there. She searched through her bag and located the flask that had been a permanent fixture in her bag and she pulled it out once she had ducked into the bathroom. She locked herself in a stall and took a long drink from the metal container in her hand. She stood there, waiting for the alcohol to kick in and felt her chin quiver. She forced her tears back and shook her head, taking another long drink from the flask, praying someone would take all the pain away. A moment later, someone else entered the bathroom so she forced herself into a normal state before she made a quick exit.

She wandered into the library and sat down at one of the tables just to think for a while. She knew deep down that she understood why Buffy wasn't quite ready for the two of them to move in together, but part of her was still somewhat insecure that Buffy would never fully commit to her. Part of her also hoped that if the two of them lived together it wouldn't hurt so bad inside. Now she just felt like she was being abandoned.

She was so deep in thought that she didn't even notice when Jenny swung the door open and entered the library. Jenny looked surprised to see the girl sitting there and she honestly thought the worst when she saw her. She moved over and saw that Cordelia was slightly startled to see her sitting down across the table from her.

"Cordelia are you okay?" Jenny asked gently.

"Yeah," she replied. "Sorry, Jen, I'm fine really."

Jenny gave her a skeptical look. "Sorry, sweetie, I don't buy it." Cordelia looked up and saw that Jenny wasn't going to let it go. "You're not still having nightmares are you?"

Cordelia shrugged and looked down at her hands. "Once in a while. The hypnosis really helped."

Jenny gave her a small smile. "Good." She paused a moment and studied the girl. She could tell that it wouldn't take much to get her to talk about whatever it was that was bothering her. "You know, sometimes it helps to talk about things with people that aren't really involved in whatever it is that's going on."

Cordelia sighed and nodded her head, knowing Jenny had a point. "I asked Summers to move in with me."

"I'm guessing you didn't get the answer you were hoping for?" Jenny asked gently.

Cordelia shook her head. "She says that we're too fragile right now. She doesn't want to rush things. We've been together for four years, how can we be rushing?"

"Well, you've only been back together for a few months and you two have been through a lot. Maybe it's not a bad thing to try to go slow," Jenny told her gently.

Cordelia shrugged dejectedly. "I don't know. All I know is that I want to spend the rest of my life with her and she wants to go slow. I don't get it."

"I think that you have both been changed by everything that you've been through and it may take some time to get used to who you've both become. You'll still be together, just not living together yet," Jenny told her with a small smile, trying to make her see the best of the situation.

Cordelia sighed. "I honestly don't know how we can get much stronger after everything we've been through. The disappearing, the rape, the abortion, Summers cheating, getting back together, my parents dying. How can we not be at our strongest after all that?"

Jenny sat stunned for a second. She knew of most of those things, but not Buffy cheating. She shook it off after a moment. "Believe it or not, everything the two of you go through, big and small will do one of two things." She paused to make sure she had Cordelia's full attention. "Either they will make you stronger or they will build up and push you further apart. It will happen slowly, but one of those two will happen and you'd be surprised what another eight or nine months will do to your relationship." Cordelia sighed heavily and nodded her head. Jenny rested a hand on her arm and gave her a warm smile.

"Cordelia, if you ever need anything, I'm here. We're all here for you," she told her gently.

"Thanks, Jen," Cordelia replied softly.

Jenny smiled and stood up, moving to the office to give the girl some time to think. She couldn't help but feel very troubled about Cordelia's well being. She was far more troubled about the fact that she could smell alcohol on her breath. She had to believe that she was wrong or confused; Cordelia wouldn't be drinking in the middle of the day. She vowed that she would keep an eye on Cordelia to be sure that things wouldn't go from bad to worse.