Woohoo! And you thought it was never going to happen... I finally updated Anyone Other Than Me!

Yes, I'm sorry it took so long. No, it won't happen again. (honest, there's only 1.5 chapters to go)

And yes, I do think that it was worth it, given how I have had writer's block over this very chapter for, well, over a year now.

All the time in between allowed me to think some aspects of the story out better; for one I now actually have an ending planned, and I'll hope to get it out before another year passes by. I also 'fixed up' a lot of the material in the earlier chapters, most notably aspects of the Sakura-Tomoyo-Meiling relationship in Chapter Five and pretty much all but eliminated the usage of random Japanese words, which, as a fellow writer pointed out, actually distracted more than enhanced the feeling that the whole story is told in Japanese and set in modern-day (well, CCS modern-day) Japan. (thanks Ciuline Ihmenjo! Check out his fan fiction, btw, it's awesome.)

Also, at the time of this writing (but probably not the posting), it's not only Christmas Day, December 25th, 2005... but it's Yukito's birthday! XD I guess that makes him... pretty old. Anyway I really spent as much as I could out of the day polishing up this last chapter... After my finals were over I poured everything I had into it. I wanted desperately to get it out around Christmas time, so in a way it's like my very own present to the CCS fan fiction community, or something like that.

Enjoy!

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Chapter 11
Across the Universe

Sunday, 2:40 PM

"For luck, Meiling-chan," Tomoyo Daidouji called out to no one in particular. She pushed the doorbell again.

Sakura Kinomoto looked up from her bed to her open closet. The left half of it; the half that she often pretended didn't exist. Costumes of every conceivable color and shape lined that dusty cabinet, most of them worn once – just once, mind you - despite the obvious labor poured into their creation. The Card Captor acknowledged the fourth ring of the doorbell. Probably the last one, too, if she didn't convince herself to hurry down the stairs already.

I know, Tomoyo. I know. I got your message. I'm coming. Please don't leave. Please.

Finally Sakura followed through on her thoughts and rushed down to open the door. The open closet never left her mind; she almost thought she was ready to confront…

"Tomoyo-chan!"

She was still there. Still on the doorstep, like she had been so many times before. Times when she probably would have been better off giving up and going home. Looking her best friend in the eyes again, Sakura realized that she was foolish to think Tomoyo would have ever left.

"Good morning, Sakura-chan. Sorry for coming on such short notice."

"No, no, no problem at all. Come on in. The brownies should be done in a few minutes."

"Brownies?" Tomoyo asked as she walked into the house and took off her shoes.

"For tomorrow, remember? Three o' clock? Unless of course we finish them all today."

"Oh." Tomoyo pursed her lips, wondering if she should have guessed in advance that Sakura was referring to their little gathering the following day. "Tomorrow. Of course."

She just dodged the chance to laugh at one of Sakura's blink-and-you'll-miss-it jokes. That sent a little shiver down her spine. Maybe she'd stop making them if she stopped laughing at them. But then that was Minnesota all over again. Tomoyo silenced her thoughts with a large, metaphorical cricket bat and made her way to the living room.

Sakura watched from the corner of her eye as Tomoyo sat down on her couch, her hands discreetly resting on her crossed legs. Sakura followed suit, choosing a seat directly across from Tomoyo. Trying to control her breathing, the brown-haired girl envied her friend's courage, her innocence, her calm.

"That's a beautiful dress."

"I'm glad you think so. I wouldn't have wanted you to make me a dress you didn't like," Sakura said with a nervous twitch that was intended to be a cute wink.

Tomoyo blushed. How come she hadn't remembered giving (and making) her that? Or did she remember? Did she just mislead Sakura into thinking she hadn't got her memory back yet? She tried not to think about it too much.

Her head was beginning to throb again.

Sunday, 2:43 PM

Shaoran Li laid down (or at least tried to, given the limited space he had) in the back seat of the slick sports car, trying to angle the stuffed heart pillow on his head in just the right way to keep the piercing sunlight out of his eyes. He wished that he had the foresight to buy a pair of sunglasses.

"Oi. Driver," Shaoran commanded.

Takashi Yamazaki turned down his radio a little.

"What?"

"Why did you decide not to get your windows tinted?"

Takashi, realizing he had to retaliate against this question before Chiharu Mihara had a chance to one-up him for yet another one of the bad choices he'd made concerning his vehicle of choice, blurted out the very first thing that came into his mind.

"Why did you decide to leave your girlfriend in the middle of a crisis?"

Sunday, 2:47 PM

Sakura curled up her toes and looked her best friend in the eye as she related to her casually just how cold Minnesota gets in the winter, and how bearing the cold is all that anyone living there can actually brag about.

For all anyone knew, Sakura thought, Tomoyo might never get her memory back. Maybe that would be easier for her. To start life in Tomoeda anew. Not much easier on Sakura's conscience, no. But then Sakura wasn't sure which would be harder to bear – having a best friend who bolted off after she'd told her the truth, or a best friend who ran the risk of someday learning the truth on her own and disappearing from her life again… and probably forever.

Why tell her? To keep the truth from her would be fair; it would be wiping the slate clean and agreeing to put the past behind them… wouldn't it? Wouldn't it? If ever she learned of it, she could track her down, wipe her memory again…

But to let her know, to get it over with, to end all doubts… To let Tomoyo decide for herself where her destiny lies… That's what a true friend would do.

"Tomoyo… There's something I have to tell you."

Sunday, 2:50 PM

Nobody said anything. It wasn't that there was a huge air of expectancy for Shaoran to speak, or even that Chiharu hadn't criticized Takashi, however briefly, for changing the topic and for not wanting to pay a little extra for tint on his (or was it their?) windows. But the silence remained.

It was that silence among best friends that is an ounce short of uncomfortable, a little too concentrated, and lacking about two teaspoons of Subtlety.

"C'mon, man."

"It's nothing important. It's just…"

"Do you love her, Li-kun?" Chiharu interjected, spinning around from her seat and staring straight at Shaoran through her thick sunglasses.

"'Course I love her," he replied calmly, discreetly plucking Chiharu's shades from her eyes and placing them over his.

Shaoran reclined back against the side of the car and stared out the opposite window confidently, in the direction of the Westerning sun.

"It's just… There are some things us guys are better left out of."

Sunday, 2:52 PM

"Back before you left, you and I… Well, you see, for about a whole year of high school we weren't really… um, talking. And then..."

At this point Sakura paused to acknowledge the knowing smile on Tomoyo's face. Then she opened her mouth to continue, but no words came out.

They were stopped by Tomoyo's big blue eyes, which spun around in Sakura's head quite unfairly. Sakura's stomach clenched.

Before the words even came out of the ashen-haired girl's mouth, she could tell.

"I know, Sakura-chan." Tomoyo said with infinite calm. "I remember it all now."

"Oh." Sakura broke her stare.

Tomoyo followed suit – she turned her eyes away shortly afterwards, and kept them on her twiddling fingers. Ten seconds passed. From the corner of her eye she could see Sakura stand up from her chair and move into the kitchen.

Twiddling her fingers even faster, Tomoyo heard Sakura stifle a curse about her burned brownies and ruffled up her skirt as she crossed her legs the other way. This was a transition phase. And soon it would all be over. Before she knew it, everything was going to be all right again, she thought. Meiling's optimism was infectious.

Sakura tried to steady her knife as she cut little squares out of the huge chocolatey mass on the counter. One square for every mistake she made, one square for every time she broke Tomoyo's heart… Thirty-six in all. No, thirty-six wasn't enough. Not hardly.

If Tomoyo was being kind to her now, if she really remembered, if she could sit there like that and smile while saying those words… it was because it hadn't all sank in yet… It was because though the memory of the events came back to her, the emotion hadn't… She was still in denial… Thirty-six squares for thirty-six months of guilt, selfishness and fear.

Sakura took out the tray and set it on a hot plate in the middle of the coffee table. She sat down awkwardly, and glanced up at a quiet Tomoyo once before looking back down at her burnt brownies. It was around this point in time when Sakura realized that Tomoyo had a huge bandage on the top portion of her head. There was a moment of silence.

"So you remember… everything?" Sakura asked, putting sudden visions of Tomoyo hitting the back of her head against the wall all night long to try and shake the memories out of her head far, far aside.

Tomoyo just nodded and tried not to stare. Sakura could tell from her widespread knowledge of head-nodding language that Tomoyo was ready to talk. To talk about anything. If only she felt the same way.

"T-that's great."

Tomoyo picked up a brownie and blew on it. It was scalding her fingers, but she couldn't have just left it there.

"What happened to your head?"

"Meiling and I decided to take a little tumble down the stairs last night," Tomoyo shrugged.

Sakura half-smiled. "Is she okay?"

Tomoyo nodded again, taking a nibble out of the brownie before clearing her windpipe to speak again.

Sakura curled up her toes. She knew from those eyes that her friend had more to say. And she knew what she herself was about to burst into. She could do this.

"I was watching the video she made yesterday," Tomoyo explained. "The one you all tried to send me when I was away. And… and after your message, I blanked out. All of a sudden everything came back to me… and I realized just how silly all of this was… that I lost- we lost three years of our friendship over something like this…"

Sakura couldn't, wouldn't – didn't want to - hold the feeling back, so she just let it course straight through her body… She let herself get lost in her best friend's eyes, like she did so many ages ago.

(Spinning-card commercial thing goes here)

She comes back from the kitchen with a bowl of strawberries and sits down on the couch with me. The TV is annoying. Right now I just want to rest; my eyes hurt, my legs are aching from Club, and for the fourth time in a row I've had to turn down Shaoran's request for lunch. Apparently he's up for a truce.

I won't tell her that, of course. I don't want to worry her... but more than that, I love her. But maybe that's not why I'm not going to tell her.

Argh.

The TV is annoying. I'm starting to hate our favorite show. Soap operas are supposed to help you to put your own life "in perspective", to reinforce how "much worse it could be". Is that how they're supposed to work? 'Coz this one isn't helping. My life is far, far more messed up than this.

Right now I just wish that part of me could stop wanting to stay.

"I know how much you love them in honey," she says, reaching over to dip one of her strawberries as an excuse to snuggle up so discreetly next to me. She pinches one of my cheeks.

"We've got that photography club shoot later; have you got your makeup kit and everything?"

"Yeah," I nod. The cheek-pinching should have stopped long ago. Maybe I should never have let it start.

"You seem tired... Are you okay? I'm sorry if I kept you up last night," she says, then blushes. "On the phone I mean."

And of course on the phone. What else could she be thinking of? Sometimes I wonder about the things that go through her head.

And of course she kept me up, putting so many words in my mouth that way. It's not like I have the right to complain, though, when she's already apologized to me like that at least four times, now can I?

"I'm okay."

But I'm not. More than anything, I want to ask her to Please Stop Staring At Me.

"It's just been so long since we talked on the phone like that," she says, wrapping her arms over me and leaning her head on my shoulder. I won't reciprocate. Not today. I don't think she'd really even notice, anyway.

"Have I ever told you how cute your voice is? I swear, I could listen to you, just talking, forever..."

I don't think she listens to anything anymore except for her own fetishes.

She snuggles even closer to me and sends me sweet butterfly kisses with her eyelashes. For a moment all the pouting seems childish and here I am, the Bad Guy again, ruining another relationship with my inability to communicate properly.

And for a moment she doesn't disgust me.

Her arms around my shoulders...
Her breath on my neck...
Her lips coming back down onto mine...

"Tomoyo-chan, I- I think I should be going."

I stand up and walk towards the door.

Please don't follow me. Please. Call me up later and talk to me, but only if you want to listen to me. Or better yet, stop me right now. Tell me you'll listen to me, no matter what I say. Don't say sweet things to me to force me into saying sweeter things to you. Ask me how I really feel. Promise you'll give me some space. Say you understand me. And mean it.

Say you'll understand if ever the day comes when I want to go back to him

Thirty paces out of the front door and I look back towards her mansion. Nothing.

Did I just leave her there to collapse in tears? Did I trap her in her love with my twisted mind game? I am such a bitch. SUCH A BITCH. I should go back and-

"Sakura-chan!"

I nearly jump out of my skin as I spin around. She is standing outside the gate, somehow, looking through the bars at me in complete confusion.

Who's trapped in whose mind game now?

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going," I begin, but I stop. It is here that I make up my mind.

If one of us doesn't do something, it will only get worse.

"I'm going to tell you something... Something you might not know."

"Okay."

She listens intently. Maybe she's thinking I'm about to whisper a sweet nothing into her cold ear or give her a sloppy kiss goodbye or pinch her cheek like a little doll. Or maybe she knows.

"Everyone thinks we're crazy..."

It's true. Little or no reaction. That tidbit of knowledge doesn't shake anything up within her... So naturally she doesn't see any reason to worry about how it might have affected me. Not that it has or anything. It's just another stupid excuse to help me get to my point.

"But nobody knows about us."

I continue.

"Not about 'US' us. But they know enough. They know that you've been taking off your classes just to make me more outfits... That you don't hang out with anyone else anymore... Not even Naoko-chan..."

Finally, she begins to see my concern. The seriousness level in my tone of voice jumps exponentially.

"You know what they've been saying about me... I'm just holding you back. Since you and I, well, you know, I've been really worried about you... I mean, you're the smartest girl in our year, you can't... you can't do this to yourself, Tomoyo-chan."

Lies. So many lies. But I do care for her. I do, and as painful as it is for me to say this, the last thing I want is for her is to end up basing her entire life on a nervous little wreck like me. I can't live with the guilt any longer, the guilt of receiving but never giving, the guilt of being captured on hundreds of miles of film and preserved forever while she grows up in my shadows, the guilt of living while she milks her well of pure love dry inside, the guilt of owing her a million gifts I will never be able to give her.

I study her face, wondering why in the world she is smiling.

"What?" Tomoyo-chan laughs. "Is that it? That's what's been worrying you all this time? Why you ignored me yesterday?"

She leaves me speechless, in the worst kind of way.

"Oh, Sakura-chan..." she takes my hands in hers.

Mine are cold and lifeless. Hers are massaging them into warmth and submission. My head is downcast.

"Don't you worry about me," she says, shaking her head and blushing. "I'm perfectly fine... That's so sweet of you, though, honey."

I try to pull back but I'm too late. She kisses me. I close my eyes. I enjoy it.

And as I admit that fact, it comes back to me that this is all my fault. That I came back to her first after our fight. That I hadn't told her what she needed to know outright. That I was just asking her for that kiss. I was asking for that kiss thirty-one days ago, and I was asking for that kiss ever since I was eight years old and looking for a best friend without wondering what that best friend was looking for.

She can't go on like this.

We hold the kiss for a little longer than we should. By the time I pull away my mouth is numb and the bars of her gate leave my cheeks a new kind of cold. I mumble a 'goodbye' as she opens the gate and we brush our bodies against one another one last time as I sneak away.

I have made up my mind again.

I am going to write to her and tell her the truth.

Sunday, 3:03 PM

Sakura nodded as her friend went on with her regrets, so intent on listening, not wanting to sniffle or wipe away the tears were coming now in torrents. Tomoyo looked back up at her and for the first time in a long time, Sakura saw that she, too, was nervous.

"I'm so sorry, Sakura-chan."

"I'm sorry too," Sakura blubbered out at last.

Tomoyo handed her a handkerchief. Sakura stepped across the coffee table. Tomoyo stood up knowingly. Sakura fell into Tomoyo's arms for a very teary hug, and suddenly everything was back to the way it was in 4th grade. Sakura was the well of earnest emotion deep enough for the both of them, and Tomoyo was the aquifer, guarding the water of harmony that nourished both their fragile souls.

"You're back, you're really back, Tomoyo-chan…"

Tomoyo just smiled and gave her friend and acknowledging pat.

Neither broke the hug for quite some time. Finally Sakura let go of Tomoyo's hair, pulled back from her friend, met her eyes and let her wipe off her tears.

"Come with me; I've gotta show you something."

Tomoyo felt herself being dragged to Sakura's basement door. Her father's old library, where she found the Clow Card book, so many years ago… The door swang open, and the stairs flew by from under her, unseen (yet by miracle or by muscular memory, she didn't stumble over) until Sakura hit a switch halfway down the wall.

At the bottom a faint, swinging yellow light outlined what looked at first like a floating labyrinth of clay and stone. Shadows erupted in chorus around the walls, conducted nimbly by the single bulb in the center of the basement.

As Sakura carefully let go of her hand and the light returned to its home position, Tomoyo realized she was standing at the entrance to the most beautiful sculpting studio she'd ever seen.

Tomoyo moved forward slowly and curiously, her footsteps loud and her breath coming in short spurts. Here was a majestic dried clay Keroberos, noble and life-sized, posing heroically. There was a bust of Sakura's father Fujitaka, half-finished, carved meticulously out of some kind of rock or marble… an appropriate choice, given his profession... behind her there were marionettes of their old classmates in the corner, with a wooden Yue keeping watch over the sanctuary… on a canvas – the only painting in the room - was Nadeshiko Kinomoto, standing alone under a cherry blossom tree whose shadow melted around her hair and face, only further outlining her beauty. And beside her, on a large, paint-covered table, were wooden figurines of Sakura and herself, carved and painted and covered with a coat of varnish.

Leaning over the pair, Tomoyo looked over at Sakura questioningly. The green-eyed girl nodded in approval. Tomoyo picked up her action figure and smiled. She was holding a video camera, intricately detailed to the small chip of glass where the lens should be and the brand name painted on the side.

"Did you make these?" Tomoyo exclaimed more than asked, but in that prim and proper way Tomoyo would always exclaim.

"Oh, I took a few classes," Sakura said sheepishly.

Tomoyo was not convinced.

"It's been my weekend hobby, I guess. All weekend. For three years."

Tomoyo beamed. She shook off the memories spinning around in her head.

"I quit the cheerleading team to join the art club. I wasn't that good at first. I did it because it made me feel passionate."

Tomoyo drew her eyes from the figure and looked up at Sakura. She had heard that phrase before.

Sakura shrugged. "You are what you love, not what loves you." She picked up her own figurine and studied it.

"That's a beautiful quote," Tomoyo blushed.

"Shaoran wanted me to tell you that. He said he heard it in a movie he saw the other day."

"But… but he told me he saw an alien movie about bell peppers invading the planet."

"Maybe he was too scared to tell you back then."

Both girls shrugged.

Sakura put down her figurine and leaned on the opposite end of the table, facing another one of her sculptures on the shelf. "All it takes is a little practice..."

Sakura studied Tomoyo's face closely from the corner of her eye.

Tomoyo wondered why this all seemed so familiar.

"I think that one" – she pointed at Tomoyo's figurine – "turned out the best out of anything I've ever made. No, really. I'm serious. It was the first one I began working on, and I only just finished it yesterday. I think it's because I captured the way you make me feel."

Tomoyo half-smiled.

Sakura could tell that she remembered. Five years of so much pain and confusion in between, and yet she remembered.

"And that it was for someone I really loved," Sakura added. She was making herself nervous again, despite the serene, loving, way Tomoyo took in her words.

"And I was inspired. In more ways than one," Sakura continued. "and one of them pretty recently."

Tomoyo arched her eyebrows in curiosity.

"When you came back to Tomoeda, you made me want to become a better person," Sakura said.

"Oh, Sakura-chan..."

Tomoyo smiled, then moved forward, then faltered, then felt her focus fading from her. She looked up to Sakura, then put her hand on the table to support herself. Spots appeared in front of her eyes.

Sakura lunged towards her. Tomoyo leaned forward and vomited on the floor before her hands slipped down the length of the table. She thrashed about involuntarily and uncontrollably, groaning, moaning, knocking Sakura on her back. The last thing Tomoyo remembered before fainting was using the last of her strength to place the figurine Sakura made of her back on the work table in one piece.

(Another spinning-card commercial thing goes here)

Sunday, 10:01 PM

Meiling Li sat down on her bed with an unusual calm. She sang to herself in a tone that would have killed any tiny animals within a 20-foot radius.

"My bags are packed, I'm ready to go... I'm standin' here outside her door... I'd hate to break you up to say goodbye..."

Meiling wondered if her singing was what kept the place rodent-free. But intolerable vocal tones aside, things were okay now. At the end of the day, it was always a happy ending for all of the above. And then after not being invited to the party, she would go back home alone. Calling it her home was a joke, though. It was a home only in the sense that she lived there.

"But the dusk has broken, it's time to go, my butler's waiting, he's honking the horn... Already I'm so lonesome I could die..."

But maybe it was time to make it her home for good. A relationship with Shaoran was pretty much out of the question now. Somehow that French kiss was the straw that broke the camel's back. Another misguided attempt at failure would just be pathetic. Maybe Shaoran wouldn't think so, but she would. She would know so. Maybe this – all of this – Tomoyo coming back to Kinomoto-san, Shaoran taking off on a vacation – was supposed to be a wake-up call for her. It was a sign that she had to stop putting off living a life of her own for all these years. That she should get out there and, like so many other rich young Asian ladies, find herself a job, a place to live and, perhaps most importantly, a man.

"So kiss me, and smile for me, tell me that you'll wait for me, hold me like you'll never let me go..."

And then there was another problem - she had never thought about that. She had never thought about having to go out and find someone for herself, let alone make herself want someone. To actually want to get out there, on her own, and start her own life? She thought she would have felt free the day that she was rejected by Shaoran. Granted, she wasn't really rejected as much as ejected – and she made it tantamount to note that she had pretty much ejected herself from the house – at 50 miles an hour, no less. And she still hadn't apologized to Wei for making him search for and worry about her until she arrived pretty much out of nowhere that afternoon.

"'Coz I'm leaving on a jet plane, I don't know when I'll be back again... Oh, babe, I hate to go..."

But then there was Tomoyo. Why did she keep looking at her damn cell phone, as if she could manipulate her Daidouji-san into calling her up through the power of her mind?

Hey, it was natural, though, to want to say good-bye to your friends. And for a second, Meiling wished she could take Tomoyo with her. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. She could teach her Cantonese. They could go bar-hopping and get an apartment and go shopping and do all the things that rich girls do…

"There's so many times I've let you down, so many times I've played around… I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing..."

But no. She had revealed too much of herself to her, and too fast. She was a freak. She didn't know how to listen. She was on medication 24/7. She wanted to steal her cousin from his girlfriend and marry him. Those sort of things. Tomoyo was nice to her, and they had some good times, but Tomoyo Daidouji was back to normal now whereas Meiling Li would be as she always was - the odd one out. And the day would come when Tomoyo'd get sick of her, when she'd just be another stranger who was fun to hang around with in small doses but not worth the effort to put up with on a daily basis.

"Every place I go, I think of you, every song I sing, I sing for you...

When I come back, I'll wear your wedding ring."

There was a solution to that, maybe. Kidnap Tomoyo, hypnotize her again, convince her she was her best friend and they grew up together… that sort of thing. But then she'd be as bad as Tomoyo's mom. At least it would give Kinomoto-san a reason to pick a fight with her. But even that didn't sound like much fun anymore.

Besides, Kinomoto-san would probably win.

Either way, all of this was taking her down a very counterproductive train of thought.

"Meiling, I'm afraid we really have to get going."

Meiling didn't even hear Wei's footsteps as he approached the room. She turned around and hid her face from the light that seeped in through the hallway, trying not to frown even as she raised her voice.

"I'll be down in a minute," she said. He didn't leave. She took a second to eye a wrapped gift he was carrying under his arm and dismiss it idly before turning her gaze swiftly outside her window, in the general direction of nothingness.

"You're going to miss your flight."

Gifts, gifts, gifts. Things your friends and family give to you to show you how much they love you. Meiling didn't think she deserved them. She didn't even particularly want them anymore, for all the guilt they caused her. She spoke her next words coldly.

"I have three hours. Please, give me some time alone."

But Meiling had all day alone. She guessed that wasn't long enough. And he was right, though she would never have admitted it. The airport was going to be packed and there was a long way to go. They had to leave now. She turned her eyes back down to her zori slippers.

Wei left the doorway in silence. And though her whining helped gain another few minutes of solitude, the black-haired girl he was worrying about didn't feel satisfied one bit.

One more thought passed through Meiling's mind as she gathered her things up twenty seconds later. It came in through one ear, touched a couple neurons in her brain, then faded out of the other one and died. If she had been a lesser person, she probably would have acted on it - another pathetic attempt to get attention.

But there would be no point in going about thrashing around her room the way Tomoyo did. Nobody would barge in on her, or ask her to stop, or anything. Nobody would care.

She grabbed her things and stormed out the door.

Nobody would care. It was time she accepted that.

Sunday, 11:39 PM

"Tomoyo-chan! Tomoyo-chan, you're awake! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry… It was those burned brownies, wasn't it? Augh, I should have known; I made some for Shaoran last week and he said he liked them, but then when I turned my back he ran out of the house crying… I'll never make brownies again, ever! No, not ever! NEVER!"

What had happened? Tomoyo could barely remember anything more than images, concepts. Vomiting and fainting. Being sponged down. Dressed and put into bed. Given medication. Then it all came together. She opened her eyes wider.

"No, Sakura-chan… Your brownies were fine. The doctor told me something like this would happen if ever I got all my memories back. And what… what exactly happened, anyway?"

Tomoyo sat up in her bed. A face towel fell off of her forehead and onto her lap. She felt drugged. She was dressed up in Sakura's pajamas, with no underwear on, with Sakura practically leaning over her in an identical pair of pajamas, with no underwear on either, as far as she cared to tell. The air was tight, the lights were dimmed and the rain was falling softly enough outside of the window. The only thing that was missing was soothing jazz music.

With a feeling of immense relief, Tomoyo Daidouji realized that the part of her that would have been aroused by this kind of situation had shown no trace of itself.

"Well, first you threw up, then you fell on the floor… Then you cried out loud that your head was on fire, and then you, well… It wasn't pretty," Sakura managed to blurt out before it occurred to herself to shut up.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that." Sakura squeezed Tomoyo's cheek. "You're just lucky I have a little first aid kit and book handy. Not to mention I took a couple nursing classes. Anyway, it's almost midnight. You'd better get some rest."

"I had a strange dream," Tomoyo said. "I don't think I'll be able to get back to sleep anytime soon."

Sakura held her hand. "You don't want to try and continue it?"

"I don't think I do. Besides, that rarely works…"

Tomoyo drew her head down. Sakura held her stare. Tomoyo looked back up at her. She had changed. Changed so much.

"You've grown so well, Sakura-chan," she continued. "You grew into the girl I thought I would be," Tomoyo said. "A true friend, a real artist, a good daughter."

"You too." Sakura said, aware that Tomoyo's ranting was caused in part by the painkillers she'd given her for the huge gash along the length of her arm.

"Oh, you don't have to lie to me. My fault was that I always idealized you. You being stronger than I was, you know. I always wanted to be like you, so I could be strong... and smart and perfect too, all at the same time. But I got to be neither of those, and that was what depressed me. Still, I like to think that my dream has come true through you; you're strong and smart and perfect and everything I wished I was... and you're happy."

Sakura frowned, pouring a glass of water from her bedside table. "You should take some credit for yourself, Tomoyo-chan. You're all of those things. Plus you helped make me into who I am today. And now you're back home with us… For good, right?"

"For good," Tomoyo said convincingly.

It was a stupid question, Sakura thought as she handed Tomoyo the glass of water. But it was worth asking. There are no truly stupid questions between friends, anyway. The two shared a moment of silence to appreciate the raindrops.

"I should call Meiling-chan," Tomoyo said before she thought about why.

"Meiling-chan?"

"She doesn't know where I've gone," Tomoyo said after a pause. "Besides, she's leaving tomorrow and I don't want to miss seeing her off or anything. I hope she's okay after what happened with Shaoran... Oh no… wait… did you know about that?"

Sakura nodded.

Tomoyo heaved a sigh of relief.

Sakura turned away to look at the faint lights outside her window and smiled.

"You care for her."

"Of course I do. If it weren't for her I wouldn't even be here today."

"You love her."

"Yeah. I do."

Sakura turned and looked Tomoyo right between the eyes.

"No, you love her."

Tomoyo gagged on her water.

"It's okay, Tomoyo-chan, I think she loves you too."

Tomoyo was exasperated, dumbfounded and shocked. And she was blushing. She shrunk back.

"I'm sorry," Sakura muttered, scratching the back of her head and distancing herself a little. "I… I shouldn't have said that. I don't know what-"

Tomoyo pouted an 'it's all right', and shook her head softly.

"Meiling-chan and I are like sisters," she said, in a tone that she realized made her words sound as if she didn't believe them. Apparently, Sakura didn't notice her insecurity. But Tomoyo's eyebrows arched in worry, and her lips pursed tight. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"What did you mean, anyway?" Tomoyo whispered.

"Well, you used to say I was the only one who could make you smile… I think maybe I… I just don't think it's me anymore."

Tomoyo frowned a little.

"I... I don't know, I don't think-"

"It's okay," Sakura interrupted. "You're going to be all right…"

"Both of you," Tomoyo finished the sentence in her head.

"Heh. So… um… want some more of my brownies?"

Before Tomoyo had a time to think about how to begin to anticipate reacting to that, there was a…

THUD.

Tomoyo jumped, spilling what was left of her water all over her sheets. Sakura fell off the bed.

THUD. THUD. THUD THUD THUD THUDTHUDTHUDTHUD.

"All right, all right, I'm coming," Sakura called out, walking up to her window and opening it up to let in a drenched, shivering, crying Kero-chan.

Crying? Yes, he was bawling tears fatter than the raindrops dripping down his face. Kero-chan zipped into the room and landed into his drawer faster than Sakura could ask him...

"What's wrong, Kero-chan? Kero-chan?"

Sakura drew open his drawer. Kero pulled it back shut. Tomoyo, concerned, sat up from the bed. There was a long and awkward silence.

"I... I got a little kid in trouble..."

"Oh, Kero-chan," Sakura began, but an unusually loud sob from Kero stopped her mid-sentence.

"No, no, you don't understand! How can you say that? How can you say it wasn't my fault?"

"I... I didn't say any—"

"Waaaaaaaahhhhhhh... I told you to stop it!"

Sakura drew back and glanced at Tomoyo, puzzled. Tomoyo recognized her cue. She cleared her throat and spoke in her silkiest, most soothing voice.

"Would you like to tell us what happened, Kero-chan?"

Kero popped open his little drawer dwelling and shot his eyes towards Tomoyo before turning away from the two again. He gasped and gulped and garbled, and finally sat himself down quietly in his bed. Sakura and Tomoyo both crowded around the secret lodging, and in between their shadows a single spotlight found its way down to the back of Kero's wet, smelly, orange head, and his huge drooping ears.

At long last he spoke.

"I went out tonight to find that new videogame, you know, Death Fighter VIII…"

The two ladies nodded in understanding. Kero turned towards the light, his puffy eyes half-open.

"…and… and there I was in the store, and I realized there was no way I was going to pay for it… I mean, I couldn't, you know, and I didn't – and I wasn't going to leave without it, 'coz it took me like two whole hours of flying around looking for a place where it wasn't sold out. Really, what was I supposed to do in that situation, I mean…"

Another tear ran down his rotund visage. He wiped it off and studied Sakura's face.

"Anyway, there was this kid, this… sweet child. She looked just like you did when we first met… come to think of it, she was a total mess."

Kero didn't notice Sakura's frown. He was too busy trying to keep his composure.

"But she had this huge bag strapped to her back…and it was open…"

Tomoyo covered up a gasp. Sakura's jaw dropped.

"I took the game and flew into her bag," Kero muttered, turning away. "And now I know what those huge beeping pillar things beside the doors are for. It was horrible. Horrible. Her mother was so angry. She thought her daughter had stolen not only the violent bloody videogame, but me, from the toy store earlier… that girl, that sweet girl, she had no idea what was going on, so she didn't know what to say… and after the cops let them off with a warning, I got put in a plastic bag and dropped off at the huge toy store… and the mother, oh, the mother… she made her daughter apologize to the staff and told her she wasn't going to get to have any cake that night! No cake… NO CAKE!"

Kero rolled himself up in his blanket and cried into it. Sakura sweatdropped. Tomoyo poured some more water into her glass and placed it down inside Kero's drawer for him to re-hydrate himself with later.

"They brought me to the stuffed toy section. The two guys were arguing about where to put me under, jungle animals or angels… they were just fighting and slapping and fighting and then all of a sudden… that guy who comes to pick up Shaoran when he's drunk-"

"Wei-san!" Sakura beamed.

"Uh, yeah, him. He came around the corner and asked them where their toy birds were… and they just put me down on the top of the shelf and started arguing about where the stuffed birds were and then that Wei guy said he was in a hurry 'coz he had to drop someone off at the airport by midnight and then-"

"MIDNIGHT?" Both women exclaimed at once. They turned to look at one another.

Kero almost fell over in shock.

"Meiling," Tomoyo said out loud.

"Hey, hey! I'm not through with my story yet! Is anyone listening to me?" Kero cried shrilly.

But Tomoyo and Sakura's eyes were on the little digital clock atop the table in front of the mirror.

11:58 PM.

She didn't even get to say goodbye.

Something in Tomoyo's stomach shrunk. She didn't quite know what it was, except that she was sure that it wasn't just another memory loss side effect.

I didn't even get to say goodbye.

It didn't feel right. Not one bit. Tomoyo bit part of her fist in her mouth and shut everything else out of her mind.

Why hadn't she called? Why hadn't she told her?

"Her phone's dead," Sakura said, cutting into her friend's thoughts and putting away her cell phone. Tomoyo nodded quietly. She looked up at her friend.

"Sakura-chan… we have to find her."

---

Yup, that sure was long, wasn't it? But I hope it didn't disappoint... If you've gotten this far, pat yourself on the back, and don't forget to leave a review! It's good for you and good for me! XD

(To Be Continued sign goes here)