The Mystery of the Packs

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that is motioned in this story

Season: 1 – 5

Spoilers: none at the moment

Author's Note: I noticed that in the early season the team carried huge back packs all the time and this just explains what is in them i.e. a few home comforts!

P4X 512 seemed normal enough. You know the usual kind of planet, with lots of rocks, trees, more rocks, yummy minerals to do those surveys on and rocks, did I mention rocks. However what the brochure failed to detail about this fabulous holiday destination for geeks galore was that the usual escort of one Jaffa and a colonel would not be enough to get the party back to the Stargate for the departure time.

'Daniel, come lets go.' Said a very bored colonel, his pack providing a temporary semi-comfortable seat.

'Hmmm'

'Daniel, we have been here for six hours, and we're due back at the gate in 15, come on'

'Jack! I'm on the brink...'

'Of a very important discovery I know but I sure Hammond will let you come back. In the mean time pack up your stuff and lets go'

With a look which attempted to kill, but could come nowhere near to threatening a survivor of Iraq imprisonment.

'Carter what about you?' he said picking up his pack and wandering in the general direction of the Stargate.

'Almost finished sir.'

'Drop the almost and lets get going.' Leaning against a tree he watched his team finish the yummy mineral surveys and grudgingly pack away translation materials.

'O'Neill' spoke the stoic figure creeping up on the unawares colonel.

'Jesus T don't do that. What is it?'

'I'm am unsure but something is amiss.'

'Amiss?' the colonel repeated, 'right kids pack up we're going now, 5 minutes to get to the Stargate.'

A distant thunder rumbled from beyond the horizon. The team fell silent, as it drew closer. In the haze of sunset, two small aircraft could be seen streaking towards them.

'Death gliders' announced the colonel, ' come on people lets move, into the forest, before they see us'

SG-1 dashed for cover, huddling beneath the under growth, under the thin canopy of the trees the waited silent and apprehensive. The gliders glided by without incident.

'Where did they come from?' asked Sam.

'Over there' said the colonel pointing towards the horizon.

'Teal'c?' said Sam almost pleadingly.

'I do not know we shall have to investigate.'

'Perhaps another time right now I'm just bothered with getting our asses back through the gate'

With this said the team made their way stealthily towards the Stargate, only to find that the two gliders had set up camp not 200 yards from it. As well as the two pilots it appeared the a few dozen Jaffa had came through the Stargate also.

'Sir there is no way we get through them all.' Whispered Carter, observing the scene below.

'Carter, leave the optimism up to me will you.' He murmured quietly.

'I believe Major Carters assessment is correct. They have superior fire power and numbers, we can not escape through the gate at this time.'

'Yeah, do you think they might move on any time soon?'

'I am unsure. A goa'uld hat'ak vessel must be close or else the death gliders would not be present, one of the system lords must be absorbing the other Jaffa into his ranks, requesting them with the long range visual communications device and then delivered here. Hopefully they will be gone by the day.'

'Right kids, that's the deal looks like we'll be here for a few more hours and no Daniel we are not going back to those rocks.'

'I wasn't going to ask that,' then Daniel added more quietly, 'not now anyway.'

'What do we do now then sir?'

'Well' said Jack taking a look around, 'will the Jaffa be patrolling around here do you think T?'

'I do not, they are unaware of our presence here and the planet appears to be uninhabited.'

'Right, we'll head about five minutes walk into the forest and set up camp and hold out 'till morning, I'm not keen on taking the chance that we may have to set up tent and stuff in the dark, and if there gone by morning we'll head through.'

Heaving their packs onto their back they headed into the forest in search of some kind of cover and shelter, four minutes in a group of trees with a thick area of canopy satisfied their picky leader, and the team proceeded to set up their tents. Three small tents stood in a vague circle round a stove; campfire was abandoned as the smoke could attract attention of the nearby Jaffa.

'Right T, Danny wanta go and check what the Jaffa are up to.'

This left Sama and Jack alone in the clearing, sitting around the stove the waited patiently for the Rat. Pack to be ready. It was at this point that Sam noticed that Jack's Pack was still over half full even though his tent and sleeping bag where out.

'Sir?'

'Yeah?'

'Em, what else have you got in your pack?'

'Err, stuff, you know just ...stuff.'

'...ok'

'Come to think of it what else have you got in yours?' said Jack noticing that Sam's bag was in a similar state to his.

'Em... well, stuff'

'Ah'

The small campsite descended into a comfortable yet curious silence.

'So what the hell did Teal'c bring,' Said Jack suddenly, 'His is still full!'

'I don't know sir, but I think well find out soon.' She said above the loud sound of a Daniel trekking through a forest, no doubt with a silent and stealthy Jaffa I tow.

'Danny-boy what's the report.' Said the colonel without even turning around.

'Uh ... well Jack nothing's changed in the last hour.'

'O'Neill, the Jaffa have not moved, in fact they appear to be waiting for the night.'

'Right, ok, that's fine we've got enough food to last us a couple of day' just in case. Speaking of food dinner a' la Carter and O'Neill is ready.'

'Oh right, what is it?' Said Daniel looking quizzically at the leaning tower of pots on the small stove.

'Mac and cheese!' said jack over enthusiastically.

'Wow, chicken flavoured mash, my favourite' he replied taking a seat next to Sam as he watched Jack dish out the mess tins.

'This does indeed taste like chicken.'

'Don't blame me carter what did you do to this?' Jack said in jest, grinning from ear to ear.

'Sir you were the one who insisted I cook, not like I didn't warn you before' she said laying down her own dazzling smile.

'Well your chicken thing would beat my poison any day.' He said, catching her off-guard with half a compliment.

Recovering quickly she replied, 'Just wonder how you survive out on your own sir?'

'Pizza, Carter, it's my life source.' He added grinning.

During the exchange Daniel rolled his eyes countless times while unhappily eating his mush, by which time Teal'c had already finished eating his supper sized portion.

'That was most agreeable.'

'Thanks for the compliment T' said Jack.

'So I'm just your fall guy sir? You take all the credit while I get everything else?'

'No never' he said sincerely, 'you're my fall girl just cos you're my 2IC.' He said with a charming grin just so he could get away with it.

At this Sam was shocked she opened her mouth then resorted to staring ahead in obvious deep thought, she laughed inwardly as she considered this.

'Actually,' Jack said confidently a twinkle in his eye, 'the credit should got to you carter since I certainly didn't have anything to do with the cooking, since I have an acute case of...'

Then he drew out the pause creating slight suspense within the clearing;

'...mageiricophobia.'

'What?'

'O'Neill?'

'Sir?'

He grinned mischievously. 'What?' changing his grin to an innocent looking expression.

Three people sat round the clearing staring shocked and open mouthed in the direction of Jack O'Neill, ok two people but Teal'c did look shocked, in his own little Jaffa way.

It totally worked I knew it would. Ha ha. Check out the look on their faces! Daniel's dropped his glasses and he hasn't even noticed! Teal'c looks like ...Teal'c well I suppose getting him shocked would be impossible. And Carter... ha ha... she looks like I just proposed! Ha ha. This is great!

'What does it mean?' asked Teal'c, the only one who had managed to gather their thoughts so far.

'It means I'm petrified of cooking.' He said proudly, 'Complete and utter aversion to it, the microwave I can just about handle.' Twinkling still present in his eyes.

'You made that up!' Said Daniel.

'No I never!' he shouted.

'No he didn't' came a quiet voice.

Sam and Jack replied at the same time.

Jack looked half shocked in Sam's direction.

'Let me guess, you were bored and you read and encyclopaedia of phobias?' said Jack.

'Not quite.' She said, ' Useless knowledge.'

'No way!' said Jack realisation and awe in his eyes, 'Where did Napoleon make all his battle strategies?'

'A sandbox.' Sam replied, her eyes wild and excited, 'How many brains does a leach have?'

'Thirty-two!' Jack replied excitedly. 'How many bones are we born with?'

'Three hundred!' Said Jack, 'What about Anne Boleyn?'

'Henry the Eight's second wife, had six fingers on one hand and...'

'...had three breasts!' Jack finished.

They shared a secret smile.

Throughout the entire exchange Daniel and Teal'c looked on fascinated.

'Guy's?'

Sam giggled slightly.

Then they both replied innocently, 'What?'

bet you didn't know that stuff!

Heee heee the madness is far from over!

PS I'd love some of those little reviews please!