Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers or anything related to them. I am a poor college student just trying my hand at a story I hope people enjoy. If I did own slayers, my mother would be the Lord of Nightmares and Xellos would be my slave. Now onto the story!

The Chaos Within

Lina looked up from the pile of books she had been searching through to the window of the great library. There were stars in the night sky, shining brightly to twinkle at her every now and then. She had been in this library for a whole day now, searching for the very answer to the riddle that the Lord of Nightmares had given her that fateful day when she went up against Phibrizzo. She remembered it very well, despite what she had told her friends. It was actually the only thing she could remember for it had echoed in her head from the moment that the Giga Slave went out of control, to the moment that she found herself in Gourry’s arms.

She giggled remembering the embarrassment she had when she felt herself pressed so closely against his chest. And she had reacted the only way she knew how; slugging him and screeching at him until she felt better. She smiled at her fond memories. She loved Gourry with all of her heart for he had always been there for her. He was her friend, confidant, partner, lover and bean bag every once and a while. He had sworn to stay with her to protect her for the rest of his life and that was exactly how it was now. He was there with her now, hidden behind a stack of books, snoring away as the books were so completely boring and he could never stay awake when it came to her searching. He gave the usual complaints, but she could tell by the look in his eyes that he never truly meant it.

Their connection was an odd one, she had to admit that, but after traveling together for so long she couldn’t make a move without him knowing exactly what she was planning. She never had to say anything either, he just knew what to do. None of her traveling companions had ever been as good as he was to react just how she needed. He never really questioned her antics either. They did what she wanted to do because it made her happy, and Gourry only ever wanted to keep her happy; it meant fewer headaches.

She shook her head to clear it. Though a trip through memory lane was always nice, she had work to do, and it wasn’t going to get done with her thinking about her partner. She could get to him later, when she finished looking for what she wanted. The only problem was that she didn’t know what she wanted. All of the books here were very good for white magic, or even shamanist magic. But she was looking for black magic, or as she realized early on, chaos magic, which really was quite different from black, and these books spoke only of Ceified. It was as to be expected in the one of the Great libraries of Seyruun. Amelia had kept up with keeping the city a white magic only type of place. Though she had added many shamanist spell categories, she would never allow the dark arts to enter her city. Amelia had even made it a law that no one could practice black magic in the city. Lina was in fact probably the only person in Seyruun allowed to use her destructive magic. They couldn’t exactly keep her out, so she was made to be an exception, especially since Amelia was still a great friend.

Amelia had given her full access to the libraries, knowing Lina would eventually find something to help her in her quest. She didn’t know Lina’s quest, in fact no one did. Not even Gourry, not that he ever paid enough attention when she did tell him about what she was looking for. All she had said to Amelia was that she was looking for something that had a mention or snippet of information regarding chaos magic. She recalled their conversation.

“I can’t tell you Amelia, cause I’m not even sure what I want. All I know is that I’m looking for anything that pertains to chaotic energy.”

“Are you trying to figure out another way to use the Ragna Blade?”

Lina looked into Amelia’s eyes. Amelia didn’t really want to know the truth. She may have been all about truth and justice for most of their travels, and she was even now though she had cooled down a bit, but she knew Lina as well. Lina went against a lot of Amelia’s ideals, and to know any bit of the truth might make her want to stop Lina. But she also knew Lina’s desperation. Whatever it was she was looking for, she would not back down. And getting in Lina’s way was a sure way to the family crypt. She had no wishes to join her cousin Alfred, or her beloved mother.

“Yes... I want to control the blade better. I’ve only managed it for a little while, and every time I do, I can feel my control over it slipping. Even now, after all these years, I still have trouble.” That was a lie. She knew it. Amelia knew it.

“Well, I give you complete access to all the Libraries in Seyruun. I hope you find what you are looking for. If you need any assistance, be sure to ask.”

Lina smiled, “Thanks Amelia.”

Amelia nodded and stepped off of her throne to attend to the daily matters of her kingdom. Lina watched her go before she headed off in the direction of the first library, Gourry following close behind her.

It had been three days since then, and she had only gone through one library and was barely starting on her second. Her stomach growled. “Patience my pet, nine more books to go, and then we’ll get you something to eat.” Normally at the first sign of discomfort, she would immediately gorge herself on any food available. At the moment, she had not done any major spell casting, only a mage light to read by, and that was no effort to maintain.

After so many years of spell casting, she realized why she was always hungry, and why food never seemed to fill her up. She tried one day to not use any of her spells. The result was she ate less, and had a bellyache afterwards. Her powerful magic consumed her energy like nothing else, and she had to eat as much as she did to keep up her strength. The same went for Gourry. Though he no longer used the sword of light he had picked up another sword that was almost as powerful, and he had to eat as much as she did usually because the weapon consumed his energy as well.

It was actually a very interesting sword. She gave it a very thorough inspection, and with hints from Xellos she realized the power within. In fact Xellos was the one who had pointed them in the way of finding it, once Gourry had lost Gorum Nova, or the Sword of Light. The sword Gourry currently had could absorb spell blasts that could with his command be hurtled back out. When it contained no magical spells, it seemed just like an ordinary sword. Lina had tested a few chaos spells on it, to see if it could absorb those as well. The sword could not. As it was, the Ragna Blade had nicked it, and Gourry, very attached to his new sword, had become sullen with Lina until she placed a spell on it to sharpen it and smooth the nick.

She had wondered why Xellos had helped them. Xellos only helped them when it benefited his missions, but she couldn’t figure out why it helped the Mazokus. She could find no curse contained within it, and except for the fact that Gourry was very attached to it, there was no fault in it. It had even helped her a few times. She had thrown a few fireballs into it, and when things looked worse Gourry had effectively used the sword to get her out of the jam.

Snapping out of her reverie once more, Lina turned back to the book at hand. Flipping through the ancient pages proved only one thing to her. The appearance of the Lord or Lady of Nightmares was not a common thing. The runes on the pages contained spells only for white magic gifted by the Dragon God. The existence of L-Sama was a very secret thing, perhaps found only in the Claire Bible. Perhaps most people were happy not knowing that a higher being made completely of chaos presided over their world. Perhaps they were happy not knowing that the Mother of All Things had a capricious nature and that she created their world on a whim, and that she could destroy it if it pleased her to do so. Ignorance was bliss. Unfortunately for Lina, she was not so ignorant.

She jotted down some quick notes in her spell book from the current book she read. It had contained information on how to better perfect and hasten a healing spell. That was very helpful. She finished her notes and began reaching for the next and so on, till she finished the ninth book. All books on healing or purification spells; they were useful to her, but not helpful in her quest for the chaos.

Her stomach growled louder this time. She sighed as she stretched out. Her muscles were cramped, her eyes were tired, and she was hungry, not the best of combinations.

“Usually by this time, you would have started eating the books. You’re showing restraint Lina.” A sardonic voice spoke up from behind her. It could only be Zelgadis.

Lina turned to look at him. She smiled, “I could eat you instead, but I don’t think that even after all my practice with eating, my teeth could bite through your skin. You should consider yourself lucky.”

Zelgadis laughed. “I suppose I should. Perhaps I could tempt you instead with a dinner at the palace. That might sate your appetite.”

“Only if it’s a ten course dinner with triple portions followed by the soft served ice cream that only Seyruun can make.”

“I’m sure Amelia has the kitchen staff working twenty four hours a day just to keep you from starving her people.”

Lina playfully smacked Zelgadis on his arm. “Ow.”

“You would think that one of these years you’d actually remember that my skin is still made of stone.”

“Yeah yeah. I’ve been studying all day; allow me my pride in saying that my brain is a big pile of goo right now. In fact it’s probably worse then Gourry’s.”

Zelgadis looked over at Gourry who was still asleep, “That’s bad. I’ll be nice.”

Lina stood up poking Gourry to wake him up. “Come on Gourry. Zelgadis says Amelia has dinner prepared for us.”

At the mention of food Gourry was out of there, heading toward the castle in a speed Lina did not feel like imitating. Instead she walked slowly with Zelgadis. They were silent for a bit, the kind of silence that only good friends could have. No need for talk, just company. She took a quick glance at her friend. He had finally gotten over his quest for finding a way to turn his body back to normal. With both Eris and Rezo dead, the cure was dead with them. He could never admit it before, but he knew it all along. He was doomed to remain a monster for the rest of his life. At least that was how he saw it until he had gone back to Amelia to give back her bracelet. It had been a few years since he had last seen her, and she had grown up in those few years. She was no longer the bubbly little girl he had a small crush on. She was a young lady who still preached justice every now and then, but had finally settled down.

She had been ecstatic upon his return to her and she had begged him to stay. Prince Phil, now King Phil, had even taken him aside and given him the “my daughter’s worth it, so why aren’t you asking for her hand yet?” speech, which was a bit overwhelming to Zel, but effective nonetheless. His crush had matured during the time he was away, and he was almost overjoyed by the fact that she really did want him in return. That itself had done enough for his self image. The fact that he had been with her ever since proved itself time and again by how he blasé was now about his body.

Zelgadis broke the silence. “Lina what exactly are you looking for? Amelia said something about your search for chaos magic and how to perfect the Ragna blade, but you and I both know that’s bull. You’ve had that thing perfected for years.”

Lina looked down, ashamed with what would be her answer. “I can’t tell you Zel. I really don’t know what I am looking for.”

Zelgadis stopped. “Can’t or won’t?”

Lina stopped as well, and looked him in the eyes. “Both. Perhaps when I understand what I am searching for, I might tell you, but not until. Sorry.”

Zelgadis sighed. “It’s not like I can force it out of you anyway Lina. Hopefully, when you feel up to it, you will tell us.” He began to walk toward the castle again, and Lina caught up once again to walk in the silence that they sometimes both preferred. As they neared the palace, Zelgadis spoke up again. “How are things going with Gourry?”

“What do you mean?”

“Relationshipwise.”

Lina couldn’t stop the blush that was beginning to spread to her face. “Oh. Ok I guess.”

“Still as shy as ever I see.”

“No, just... I don’t know. I’m just not good at talking about stuff like that.”

Zelgadis laughed. “As I recall, you never have been.”

“Hey, it took you a long time to realize that you liked Amelia. Everyone knew it, even Phil.”

“Yeah, but at least I don’t blush and overreact.”

“You used to too. Don’t give me that.”

“Yeah, I guess I did, but you still do.”

“Listen, what Gourry and I do is personal, and I don’t kiss and tell. Besides, I know what you and Amelia are up to. With twins on the way, how can you deny it?” Zelgadis blushed a deep crimson. “Aha! You still blush.”

“So,” Zel said sullenly. “That’s what married couples are supposed to do. Don’t you want kids?”

“I’m not sure. Can you imagine kids from me and Gourry?”

“Yes. And I fear the world would starve to death.”

“Hey!” Lina once again smacked him. “Ow.”

“You’re gonna bruise yourself if you keep doing that.”

Lina only growled.

“But really Lina, what’s wrong with kids from you and Gourry?”

“Nothing I guess. Just that, how would we take care of them? I am in no way ready to settle down to have a family. It would be pretty hard on the children if I didn’t. Besides, there still are bandits for me to punish, and great food for me to eat, and treasure to grab. I can’t give that up.”

“Nor could you ever. Yeah, I suppose having kids would change all that.”

“Besides, I’ll get to spoil your brats and be their Godmother. That’ll be better then having kids, cause then I can hand them back to you when I’m done.”

“That I really fear. You’d spoil them worse then their own grandfather.”

Lina chuckled. “Well that is the point of being Godparent. Spoil them, and then hand them back to the parents. Oh yeah, life is gonna be sweet.”

“Maybe I should make it so they can’t ever see you.” Zelgadis took a glance at Lina, one eyebrow quirked, gauging her reaction.

“If you don’t want to live to a ripe old age, go ahead.” Lina smiled her evil smile, which made Zelgadis shudder.

“Don’t worry Lina, there is no way possible that I could keep them from you. I couldn’t bear them not knowing one of my best friends.”

“Good to hear. Hopefully I’ll be done with my search by the time they are born. Then I could spend most of my time with them.”

“I hope so. We let Filia know. She said she might or might not come down. It depends mainly on Valterria.”

“How is that kid? The last time I saw him, he was in his terrible twos.”

“Filia says he’s a handful at times even now, as he apparently is still in his terrible twos; what makes things worse is that Xellos pops in every now and then to torment her. Valterria has taken an extreme dislike of him, not that I blame him.”

“Yeah, well what can you do about him? He’s just a pest; that we all know. And considering the fact that he could kill us at any time he wants, I’d just rather not get on his bad side.”

“Has he tried to recruit you lately?”

“Nope, thank the Lady. Nah, he’s actually helped me out a few times. I mean really helped, not just given me false information allowing me to do his job for him.”

“That’s odd.”

“You’re telling me? He was the one who helped find a replacement for Gourry’s sword. It’s really gotten me on edge. And I’m slightly worried.”

“Oh?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. I just feel something abnormal is going on.”

“Is that why you’re searching for chaos magic?” When Lina didn’t respond, he realized that perhaps this was what she was searching for. “Are you trying to find another spell to kill off the Mazokus so you don’t have to use the Giga Slave?”

Lina stopped walking. When Zel stepped closer to her, she answered. “No. They aren’t bothering me anymore. In fact they seemed to have all but disappeared. I’ve actively searched for them, and I haven’t found a one. Except when Xellos has popped in occasionally, and even then he’s there for as long as he needs to relay the info to me and then he’s gone. It makes me wonder what they’re up to.”

Zelgadis stared down at his friend. For the first time ever, she looked older than she was. It was not her body, for she seemed to age only a few years to look like a just turned nineteen-year-old when she was really much closer to twenty-five. It was her eyes that made her seem so much older. Her eyes were holding a world of knowledge, and if he didn’t know better, fear. Lina was never one to fear anything, even her death, for in truth, she had actually died, twice. Once when they were fighting Copy Rezo, and also when she lost control of the Giga Slave and the Lord of Nightmares’ essence had consumed all that she was. It was only the love of her friends that brought her back, each time. Lina didn’t fear much; though he had to remember her reaction to slugs and her sister. But the fear in her eyes now had nothing to do with slugs, or her sister. The look in her eyes stated she was fighting her fear by searching for the chaos magic.

Zelgadis smiled in hopes of cheering her. He wrapped his arm over her shoulder in a very brotherly way. “Well, whatever they’re up to, I have the feeling that you’ll beat them. You’re one in a million.”

They started walking toward the castle again. She could see the four towers in the distance. “Since when did you become so optimistic?”

“I think Amelia’s rubbed off on me.”

Lina laughed. “Just don’t turn into a justice freak on me.”