Disclaimer thingy and stuffs: Nope, I dun't be ownin' Spaceballs the planet, Spaceballs the people, Spaceballs the toilet paper, Spaceballs the lunchbox, Spaceballs the breakfast cereal, etc, etc, etc.... And neither do I own Roland, Vespa, Lone Starr, Barf, Dot Matrix, Dark Helmet, Col. Sandurz, Pres. Skroob, etcetera....
And technically... I don't really own the title, either. I suppose Mel Brooks does... kinda, sorta. Great man, he be. Makes funny movies. If you're a poor soul who hasn't seen Spaceballs... well, I pity you. And I also command thee to buy/rent/steal the movie and watch! At all costs! Or else! Bwahaahhaahaaaa!!!
Ahem... happy reading!
Spaceballs 2: Da Search for More MoneyKinda-short Intro...thingamabob
Once upon a time warp, in a galaxy very, very, very, very, far away, there was a peaceful planet.... Planet Druidia. It was ruled by King Roland, an old fart who would never die, it seemed. His daughter, Princess Vespa, ended up marrying Prince Lone Starr, despite their rough start. Ten years later, they were still happily married, and had twelve and a half children. Dot Matrix and Barf watched the kids whenever the prince and princess had migraines, which was often. The robot seemed attracted to Barf (she must have a loose screw), but the mawg only had eyes for... well, someone else.
As for the infamous Dark Helmet, President Skroob, and Colonel Sandurz... well, they were taken prisoner when they landed on the Planet of the Apes. Having no better use for the Spaceballs, the apes appointed the three men the titles of 'Official Ape Foot-Massagers'. Surprisingly enough, none of them knew how to massage an ape's foot... wait, scratch that... Colonel Sandurz did. He said it reminded him of his childhood home. Poor fellow... well, no, not really.
...And if you can read this, you seriously need glasses.
.....Just kidding, duh.