Love and the Perfection of It in Its Imperfection

By General Quistis

Author’s Note: I was having a migraine when I wrote this, but I just went on… It was first written on a notebook and then I just encoded it in the PC so that I could publish it in Since I started writing this at night while I was ill and also finished this on the same evening, it seems deep… and maybe even philosophical. Yeah, I’m more inspired whenever I’m sick or something. This fic is just a spur-of-the-moment and I’m sorry if you can’t understand some of the parts because some of them are simply symbolical for me and the way I portray and see the characters. This is mainly about Cloud and Tifa.

Nevertheless, I hope you like it. Please review if you have the time; and you may also ask questions. I’ll be willing to answer them.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Final Fantasy 7, Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children nor the characters related to those two.

Chapter One: More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers

In the dream, I was alone.

It was a big flower field… almost like the one from the Church in Sector 6 that she had once taken care of when she was still here.

But the flower bed is small compared to the flower field that seemed to expand rather endlessly… and I know this because I tried walking around but everything still looked the same.

I felt so alone…

I remember that just two years ago, he told me that he could meet her in the Promised Land…

Wherever it is…

The flower field was an endless world of green, yellow and white. Such lovely flowers; as lovely as the person that once took care of them in a small flower bed.

Maybe her life could be compared to that flower bed… limited but filled with life… just like her in a city so dead and lifeless…

But that was before.

I was beginning to get tired of walking so I just sat down, and I waited. Maybe I can see her…

But then I thought, is this the Promised Land?

Then I could be dead?

Or this is merely just another dream?

And then there he was, standing in an area far away from where I was. He had his back to me and he was looking up at the clear white heavens above us. I was so thrilled to see him again. How I’ve missed him!

He is my childhood friend… not really. I’ll tell you the truth…

I liked him… no! I loved him! …

Or so I thought.

He promised he’d come back and protect me from harm…

But we were so young…

“Cloud!” I called out his name. He turned around to look at me.

I smiled at him as I got up and ran towards him. He did not even smile.

The last time I saw him smile was from when she was still alive… and it hurts me to see him so miserable.

When she died, our relationship completely changed. I don’t know if he really felt the same way about me the way I had felt about him; but my heart was breaking whenever I would see him so deep in thought… and whenever he’d look at me, I’d feel so guilty… like I can also be blamed for her death, the way he’s blaming himself.

I hated that feeling.

I know, at first, I’m not denying that I disliked her in a way that seemed so unreasonable… all because I thought of her as a rival; someone who just “barged-in” to my love life and messed it all up.

You could just imagine how jealous I was when he picked her over me to go on a date with him at the Gold Saucer! I was like, “God, she has to leave! She’s stealing my Cloud away from me!”

…and then she died. And he became alone.

I know I’ve mourned for her too, but it eventually faded when a darker side of me thought, “She’s gone… and he’s mine again!”

That dark side is so selfish.

I tried to reel him in again to myself, and I even resorted to telling lies to him just so that his heart could be mine again! But I realized that after she died, the more he drifted away from me. You could just imagine the pain I felt when I realized that he can never be truly mine… on the night under the Highwind.

I realized that we are more than friends but less than lovers.

“Tifa,” he called out my name. His blue eyes were looking down at me curiously as I approached him. I was smiling as I looked up at him with adoration and I can’t help it.

“You’re here!” I told him. It was all I could say to him at that moment.

And he looked away. He turned his head to his right, then looked up at the vast heavens. “Yeah,” was all he could say in monotone. My smile faded away, feeling his coldness towards me in his voice.

But I still forced a smile at him—because that’s just how I am! I try to smile even if the situation is terrible.

But I can’t think of anything else to say… and his question surprised me, “You think this is it?” And he looked at me. I looked around. “I don’t know,” was my reply. And that’s the truth, I don’t really know!

He was talking about the Promised Land even if he didn’t specify it in his sentence… I know, I can feel it. It’s in his eyes.

He turned away with dismay in his eyes… and walked away, but I followed him, “Cloud!” I called out his name again. He just kept on walking. “Let’s meet her, Tifa. She’s waiting for me.” He told me with a solemn tone. His eyes kept on darting from left to right, as if searching for something. I guess I got carried away because I also started doing the same… but I wasn’t really sure what he was looking for, so I ended up so confused, not knowing what I was really searching for in the first place.

I felt annoyed… so I asked him, “What are you searching for?”

And he just looked at me with a calm smile on his face. “I’m searching for my light.” Was his reply.