Author's Notes: You asked for longer chapters, here it is. Sorry for the delay in update. You've read my open letter, haven't you?

Foxes and Roses

Chapter Five: Naruto, the Gentleman-in-Training

The next day came peacefully without any incident. The sun had just risen for an hour when one blond Genin decided to visit the bathhouse. He carried a bucket filled with bottles of shampoo, soap, lotion, and cologne, all courtesy of Maito Gai, the village's number one unofficial supporter of metro-sexuality.

The bowl-haired Jounin was close to tears when Naruto asked for his advice on which brand of shampoo he should use. You see, Naruto had no idea what type of hair he had. It took both Gai-sensei and Rock Lee to convince him that his spiky hair needed more than just a quick wash to truly shine. They both heartily recommended PanteNin Shampoo for Dry Hair, guaranteed to show results in three days.

In Naruto's right hand was a crumpled list of instructions. It was a very important list, considering that everything a twelve-year old boy would want to know about the opposite sex was listed there. Since Naruto had no father, he had to make do with advices from various adult male figures in his life.

The day before, ero-sennin had gladly supplied answers to Naruto's questions on how to nail a girl. He had even drawn a diagram of female anatomy, focusing on vital points he deemed essential, before one furious Iruka-sensei snatched it from his hands. Later Naruto was subjected to a very nervous talk with the kind-hearted Chuunin sensei who stammered and blushed frequently from time to time. The only thing that Naruto understood from that conversation was that he had to use protection (for what he didn't understand, but hey, he'd take what he could get).

When he had asked Kakashi-sensei about girls, the Copy Nin only lifted one fine eyebrow before handing him a book, titled 'Icha Icha Guide for Young Loves', and telling him to read it thoroughly. "The best thing," he had said, "since explosive tags." Naruto took the book with dubious feelings.

Dissatisfied, he went to the Third Hokage. The wizened leader took a quick look at Naruto's list and added some more points of his own. After he was done, the Sandaime looked at Naruto's disheveled appearance and at once ushered him to the care of Gai-sensei. ("Of course," the Hokage had muttered under his breath, "Orochimaru is much more learned at this kind of stuff than Gai. I miss my weekly manicure, damn it.")

Nothing's better than a close-knit little village.

Now, Naruto arrived in front of the bathhouse in trepidation. He didn't think that grooming would take so much work. Taking a bath usually meant a plunge and a quick wash inside a steaming pool of hot water followed by rough towel-drying. Not anymore. His brain was busy trying to sort the steps Gai-sensei had drilled into his young mind.

Not enough, not enough! You need to apply a lot of shampoo, massage your scalp in circular, rubbing motions like this, and wash the lather thoroughly. We don't want dandruffs, do we? Tut, tut, Naruto. You're NOT supposed to nod.

Always use a generous amount of soap. Me? I use one bar each day.

Ah! The cologne is also important for a gentleman. Never leave home without at least a spray or two.

If you want, I can sculpt your eyebrows. I did Lee's. Beautiful, aren't they?

A shiver ran up to his arm and Naruto had to steady himself. This is it, he thought, a step to adulthood. Anything for the red-head beauty. He made up his mind and walked inside the bathhouse, trembling. Anything, I'll do anything.

At this point, not even the Uchiha clan's secret stash of kohl could change his mind.

---

Some miles away from the bath house, a teenager was in for a very rude awakening. He stirred in his sleep, feeling something quite heavy on his chest that disturbed the wonderful dream he was having. He opened one sleepy eye and saw a blurry orange image. Realizing what that thing was, he let out a blood-curling shriek.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeek! Kuwabara, get off me, you dolt!"

Urameshi Yuusuke wasted no time feeling disgusted. He threw his still sleeping friend onto the wall and the building shook when Kuwabara's body made contact with the thin wood. Despite the rough treatment, the psychic kept on snoring, even after he slipped to the tatami floor.

"Dammit, why couldn't it be Kurama? That way I won't feel so…violated," Yuusuke muttered. He shuddered and decided to take a quick wash, since he couldn't possible go back to sleep after what just happened.

In the common bathroom, Yuusuke brushed his teeth, splashed his face with cold water, and started grooming his prided hair. Then he noticed a familiar ki at the door.

"I heard you scream," Hiei said.

"Good morning to you too," Yuusuke mumbled.

"You're not in danger," Hiei said matter-of-factly. He looked the same, as always, wearing a black ensemble of clothing, white scarf, and an ever-ready katana.

"I was in danger of being traumatized for life, thank you very much."

"The idiot?"

Yuusuke sighed and nodded. "Can we exchange rooms? For once, Hiei?"

The reply was instantaneous. "No."

"You creep."

The Jaganshi smirked. Before disappearing, he left Yuusuke with a thought, much to the teenager's chagrin. "Kurama also likes to cuddle, you know."

Yuusuke's hands paused in mid-air.

Damn.

---

One oval mirror reflected back a perfect face, with a perfect complexion and a perfect pair of onyx eyes (which suspiciously looked a bit tired), of one Uchiha Sasuke. He was in the middle of his morning routine, consulting the honest glass of truth for imperfections in his appearance. As always, he found none.

Well, except for those annoying bags under his eyes. He could not sleep the night before, thinking of one nameless rival whose existence had been confirmed by the decrease in his stack of love letters at the end of the previous day. The horror!

Sasuke gripped the edge of the sink. He needed to find this rival of his. There was absolutely no way he would let some newcomer steal the spotlight, under his very own straight and aristocratic nose!

So far, the most reliable eye witness account he'd gathered came from his teammate, Haruno Sakura. She had gushed about the stranger's appearance — deadly ruby eyes, sleek and muscular body, jet-black hair that defied gravity, and an overall dark, brooding presence. Sasuke had his own interpretation of those descriptions and he was ready to search for that one person.

He was on the hunt.

Get ready, world.

---

Naruto stepped outside the bathhouse with a very self-conscious feeling. Instead of his usual orange jumpsuit, he was wearing a form-fitting, black top and a loose pair of khaki pants. He had spent some time yesterday digging through his finer stuffs to come up with the outfit. Kakashi-sensei had generously let his team have a day off, giving Naruto some time to go after his recent crush.

Besides looking clean, Naruto felt clean. The advice Gai-sensei had hammered into his head worked like magic and the difference was plain to the naked eye. Even without the sparkles, Naruto was a new boy. The passersby who threw him curious glances certainly thought so too, because they could finally see how handsome he really was. Ne?

It didn't occur to Naruto that he had forgotten to zip up his fly.

Until one stammering Hyuuga Hinata pointed that one out to him. She was very close to fainting, but for the love of Naruto, she could not let her crush suffer further embarrassment. Naruto had always thought that Hinata-chan was a good girl. He thanked her profusely, earning him a very sweet view of the blushing girl.

"You should smile more, Hinata-chan," he told her.

"Aa, o-okay, Naruto-kun." She smiled shyly.

"Ano sa, don't you think I look good today?" he asked, oblivious of her turmoil.

She grew even redder. "Y-yes."

"That's because I have a date today!" Naruto exclaimed. "See you around, Hinata-chan!"

Naruto waved to her and left. He didn't notice her crumbling, disappointed features, and marched happily to find the beautiful red-head who occupied his mind.

Left behind, Hinata almost cried.

---

Kazuma Kuwabara was being stalked.

He knew almost immediately that he was being followed by a very curious girl. She was stealthy, oh he gave her that, but she really needed to hide that blinding pink-hair of hers. Being a seasoned fighter, he could sense her from half a mile away without any difficulty. Although, it was a bit disconcerting to know that such a young girl was able to keep up with his pace.

It seemed that most of the population in this village was skilled enough in martial arts. Kuwabara could detect it from the way they walked and moved; he even saw young children play with sharp objects. Of course Koenma had informed them that the village was a gathering of shinobi, trained in silent assassination and infiltration, but being a modern Tokyo thug didn't prepare him for the real thing.

A village of fighters, eh? Kuwabara thought. Damn that toddler for sending us to such a dangerous place. I wish I were home with Yukina-chan.

Finally, tired playing hide and seek with the girl, he confronted her in a secluded corner of the street. She showed no fear when he loomed menacingly, using his height as advantage.

"What do you want, little girl?" Kuwabara asked in his tough-guy voice.

"Excuse me, sir, I don't mean to bother you," she began in a sweet voice, "but I have a question for you."

Kuwabara sighed. He was weak against anything sweet, especially kittens and innocent girls. It's not a thing to be made public if he still wanted his reputation as a high-school hooligan intact. "Yes?"

"Please, sir. How do you make your hair so full volume like that?"

Kuwabara blinked.

She blinked back.

Thus began Kuwabara's Private Hair Care Lesson.

---

Hiei was speeding through the roofs when he sensed something thrown at him. Not fast enough, but it still made him raise his guard. He landed on one rooftop, along with the thrown kunai. Then he saw the culprit, a boy no older than thirteen who had an angry expression on his face.

"Boy," Hiei snarled, "do you want to die?"

The boy snorted. "Hn."

Hiei couldn't believe what he had just heard. The boy just did an imitation of his 'Hn'! How dare he! His 'Hn' reply belonged to him and him only!

Oh, he so needed to teach that boy who was the better man here. So Hiei said, "Hn."

"Hn?" the boy replied.

"Hn," Hiei said smugly.

"Ugh, hn," the boy grumbled.

"Hn, hn," Hiei countered.

"H-hn!" the boy sputtered. "You—!"

"I won, boy. You're no match for me," Hiei said.

"It's not over yet!" the boy shouted indignantly. "I challenge you one more time, you fiend!"

"How rude. You attacked me without provocation and now you want to challenge me? Get real. You didn't even introduce yourself."

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. What's yours!"

"Hn."

"Okay, Hn! I challenge you to a battle!" Sasuke said.

Hiei eyed the boy. Now he had seen everything life has to offer. Someone more gullible than Kuwabara. Great. But hey, a fight is a fight. And Hiei loved a fight, didn't he?

"Fine," Hiei said.

"Today, at noon, come to the town center. We'll have a battle of life and death. Just you and me!" Sasuke said.

"Very well, you better be prepared." Hiei smirked. Oh, yeah. Finally the mission is getting interesting, Hiei thought. He won't hold back just because the opponent was a little kid.

A little kid with a deadly aim, he reminded himself and glanced at the kunai stuck on the roof. The kid disappeared in a cloud of smoke and Hiei was left to ponder his own thoughts.

What an interesting place, this village.