Well, the best way to start

Is with who I be.

I am crazy and crazy is me.

I am finely tuned

With the voices in my head.

My specialty is drinking milk

And not being dead.

I can fly choppers and planes

And pick up the trash.

Now and then, though,

I'm involved in a crash.

I love my dog, Billy

And Thermy, my claw.

Our favorite past-time

Is playing on the see-saw.

I hope you hire me.

I'm available every day.

I will work hard

As soon as I get out of the V.A.

Signed the King of Crazies