Stupid

Chapter 5 Part 3

Prayer of the Refugee

I awoke mid-afternoon, the sun a horrid orange streaking across the deep black of the linen. I suppose I had shed my clothes in between fits of sleep the night before because they lie strewn across the floor. I relished in the feeling of satin and silk against my skin. It felt like a lover's caress at every twist and turn. Needless to say, I spent a few moments of bliss rolling in said sheets. I wished I'd spent more time enjoying the feeling before the sun had risen. Now that that burning ball had burst into existence, every move seemed just a little more uncomfortable, a little more stressed.

Taking the top sheet with me, I climbed out of a foreign bed which felt more like home than anything I'd experienced the entire summer. I take that back, there was a certain set of arms, strong and stoic, which held more comfort than the warm haven I'd left moments prior.

I walked to the bathroom adjacent to his room simply to stare at my form in the mirror. Tentatively and with the door still open, I dropped the sheet. My ribcage had expanded, my collarbones were obscenely visible and my hipbones seemed to cut through my skin. However, I couldn't help but focus on the fact that my thighs still touched at the top. My stomach was flat, but not concave. My arms still doubled in size when pressed against my side. I was still disgusting.

I hurriedly picked up the sheet and held it tight against my body. I leaned back against the door, willing myself calm. I couldn't bear the sight in the mirror. The body hidden under the massive black sheet, the disheveled hair and that face. The face that looked 3 years too young with the eyes that looked 10 years too old covering the mind that had known much too much before it had even hit puberty.

I walked out of the bathroom and down the stairs, still clad only in the sheet, only to discover my potions professor asleep on the couch, clutching the pillow I'd slept on the night before. Though I was in no position to judge attire, the picture laid out in front of me was quite comical and not at all what I'd expect.

He wore nothing but a pair of white boxer shorts and a black undershirt. Curled up in as much of a ball as the slim perimeter of the couch would allow, he clutched the pillow with as much vigor as a sleeping person could muster.

I sat behind the railing of the staircase, a hand at the bar and a hand at my chest in attempt to keep the sheet up. A giggle I'd made almost no effort to counter escaped my lips and the man on the couch began to stir. I didn't stop laughing when his eyes cracked open. I didn't stop laughing when he sat up. I didn't even stop laughing when he stretched his arms above his head and let out a low yawn. I did stop laughing when he turned to his left only to rest his eyes on me.

He was quick to clear his throat, stand up and pull on the pair of pants thrown over the end of the couch just as I was quick to turn my head and pull the sheet around me tighter. He stood facing the wall a few moments, then headed to the stairs. He began climbing the stairs only to stop and sit one step up from me. His back rested against the bars I was now facing.

"Comfortable?" He asked.

"Very." I said. "And yourself?"

"Wonderful." He replied.

A strong silence followed our short conversation, the air, already thick with tension, was made thicker by his close proximity and short words.

I looked at him, staring at his lap, and asked, "Loose a shirt?"

He met my gaze then dragged his eyes up and down my body in an exaggerated fashion. "You're not really in any position to make comments on a person's lack of clothing, now are you?" A blush crept steadily across my cheeks as a smile spread with it, in tandem. "How did you enjoy my bed?" My smile quickly faded.

I shrugged my shoulders lightly. "It was nice." I replied softly. "I like your sheets..."

"I can see that." He interjected, not upset but not quite amused.

"Well, you seemed to fancy that pillow." I retorted.

He shrugged in the same fashion. "It-It was nice." He stammered. He looked at me, as if silently asking me if it was appropriate for him to continue. "It smells like your hair." He said in a voice just above a whisper.

I kept him in limbo for a few moments more before I could no longer contain a small smile. "Your sheets smell like your robes." I said in a voice equally as soft, yet equally as bold.

I looked past the bars, into the small room below holding the couch, a coffee table and a rocking chair. The window seemed to glow a bright white as it let the sunlight in. The square pattern it made across the room didn't seem so harsh anymore.

"I think my robe from last night is still on the lawn, if you'd like to wrap up in something that doesn't belong on my bed." He said in perfect sincerity with a touch of humor.

I laughed. "I'd like that, but I think I should get dressed first." I stood up slowly and placed a hand on the wall for support. As I dragged my hand up the wall and my feet up the stairs, I knew he was still watching me. If he had said something along the lines of 'you don't really need clothes', I wouldn't have felt it out of place just then, even coming from him.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I felt the insatiable urge to return to his bed, but opted for my own room. I fished around in my suitcase-still packed-for a pair of jeans, a simple shirt and appropriate under garments. I shed the sheet and quickly dressed.

I sauntered out of my room, sheet folded neatly and tucked under my arm, and walked towards to stairs. When I noticed he had moved, I took it upon myself to replace the sheet on his bed. A few minutes passed as I struggled to properly make up the huge bed.

When I had completed my task, I sat down on the bed and let out an exasperated sigh. I noticed that the house was not completely silent, as per usual. There was water running in the bathroom I had occupied earlier in the day. I got to my feet again simply to explore the source of the noise.

As I approached the bathroom, the water shut off. I placed my ear against the door, curious as to what was going on. Suddenly, the door opened and Snape stood in front of me clad in nothing but a towel slung low around his waist.

I tried to find words explaining what I was doing, but the incredible embarrassment had left my chest constricted and my mouth dry. I quickly shuffled backwards, studying the floor with great intensity.

"It's alright, you know." He said.

"What is?" I asked, my gaze still focused squarely on the floor.

"My anatomy." He paused. "I'm just a bit more exposed than you were half an hour ago."

"That doesn't make it right." I whispered.

He cocked his head. "Are you saying that your attire earlier was not appropriate?" I quickly turned my head to face him, mouth ajar in offense.

"Are you insinuating that I came out wrapped in nothing but your sheet to-to seduce you?" I stammered, furious.

He shifted his weight between his two feet. "No, it was not my original intent, but after such an astute observation-"

"You presumptuous bastard!" I interrupted. "First, you claim I need you. Now, you're saying I want you?" I threw my arms up in frustration, took a step away from him and turned to face the wall. "For Merlin's sake, at least the sheet had enough fabric to cover my entire body. You're half naked and a meter away from me!"

As silence slowly permeated the room, I turned back around only to see that meter distance between us had been shortened by half. His brows were furrowed, shading his already darkened eyes as he made his way towards me. Every step he took forward was countered on my part by a step back, until I pressed against the wall.

The situation threw into sharp realization our differences. I was a mere 5'6" while he towered above 6 feet. Though our skin color was nearly the same, mine was dotted with freckles while his was marred with scars. Even through sleepless nights, my tousled hair retained some body and shape while his wet, black locks hung loosely about his face. Despite the obvious physical discrepancies, there was the fact that I was 16 and he was 37. He was my teacher and guardian. Though nurturing was not in his character to begin with, it was now his legal duty to protect me from harm, not intimidate the living daylights out of me.

My back and palms pressed harshly against the wall as, centimeter by centimeter, he came closer to me. He stopped as his abdomen pushed into my chest, the height of his chest keeping my chin tilted firmly upward, forced to look him in the eyes.

He brought a hand up and began to slowly stroke my cheek. "You have no idea of the knowledge I possess or how I came to learn it. For that, I am envious. I envy your apparent innocence, though your eyes give you away at times. I envy your beauty, as physical appearance has never been a strong point of mine. I envy your heritage, though I do abhor your family's stance on being a pureblood. You've been blessed with this gift and yet you choose to squander it for the sake of 'equality'. Learn to use your beauty and your bloodline and you will compensate for the reputation you have inherited." His voice was nothing more than a whisper as his hand traveled down my cheek to my neck, where it rested lightly as he continued.

"I do not expect you to share my sentiments, but I do not expect you to reject my advances, either." A furious blush spread quickly across my cheeks as the anger that was just raging through my system gave way to girlish speechlessness. He removed his hand from my neck and ran his fingers through my hair, lifting my head from the wall and pulled my face towards his.

A feeling of nostalgia pulsed through my body. I remembered being possessed. I remember Tom fondly. His dark, handsome features, his delicate lips, his encompassing grasp. Whenever he'd request use of my body, he'd kiss me on the forehead, blacking my vision and leaving me to do his bidding. The last time I saw him, he kissed me on the cheek sweetly, telling me in a hushed voice how much of a wonderful girl I was and how much he loved me.

Being pressed between a wall and his chest, I noticed his eyes and the way they were nearly identical to Tom's. I saw the way he parted his lips, running his tongue swiftly over the bottom one before it retreated back into his mouth, just as Tom would do before he kissed me. I closed my eyes as he did and just as Tom would, the desire to tilt my chin downward countered by the hand on the back of my head, urging my face still forward.

And then nothing happened. I waited a few moments before opening my eyes to see he was peering down at me. "Tell me what you want." He whispered, harshly. "Tell me what you need."

As if the words had pulled a trigger, I shot to the balls of my feet, connecting our lips in a blinding kiss.

How stupid could I be?

A simpleton could see that you're no good for me

But you're the only one I see.

A/N: Jesus Christ, it has been a while. I am so sorry for the time it's taken to get this chapter up. I had a bit of writer's block deciding how to go about it, but I'm happy with the overall product. Hooray for over 2,000 words! lol

I'm leaving to study in Italy on the 27th, so hopefully I'll be able to get two or three more chapters up before I go. Unfortunately, I won't be back until August 1st, so there won't be any updates during the entire month of July. The first thing I'm doing when I get back is buy and read HP&TDH, so I may not have a new chapter up for the first few days of August, but don't worry, it will be finished, I promise!

rawrrrrrrrrrrr - Thank you so much! Of course I will continue.

Dracoginnylover24 - I think so, too. I hope you like this chapter as much as the others.

YourMidnightCinderella - Thanks! Sorry it's taken a while to get this chapter up.

whitehound - Wow, what a compliment! Thank you! Sometimes, I think my writing tends to be rushed, but thank you so much.

KK Duke - I know it's been a little bit, but the chapter's up now. I'm happy you enjoy the story.

Purple Raveness - I'm glad I'm able to keep you on your toes lol. Hope you like the new chapter.

Loverofstorys - Here's an update for you! I won't stop writing, I promise.